Neuro Linguistic Programming

Neuro-Linguistic
Programming
Create ideal personal and professional relationships.
Created and presented by:
Suhaili Sahiful Bahari
BHMS 1401-4356
Bachelor of Homeopathy Medical Sciences
1

Conflict is
everywhere
Married couples
Parents-children
Teachers-students
Office workers
Management and staffs
Business-to-business
Solution to
improve
relationships
through
communication.
2Suhaili Sahiful Bahari

Law: The more rapport you build,
the stronger the connection.
Be flexible

Part I: Connecting with others.
Rapport
Calibrating
Communication style

Part #1: Rapport
How long to build it? Sometimes seconds and sometimes years.
How long to maintain it? With care & nurturing, forever.
How long to break it? Take seconds.
How long to repair it? Sometimes never.

Communication
Verbal and nonverbal(laughing, blushing, nail-biting).
Not able to pick up these cues cause rapport to break.
Doesn’t understand a person’s style.
Instantly dislike/like a person.

Part #2: Calibrating
The art of paying attention and adjusting response to what you’ve noticed.
Good calibrators can assess situation quickly.
Peoples love to have you around.
Else, your presence are annoying.

Example: Serving diners at restaurant.
Two friends having dinner together are in the middle of a serious conversation.
Billy, a cheerful waiter announces with big smile, “Hi, I will your server tonight!”
Billy hasn’t noticed seriousness of air. He has failed to calibrate his styles to
theirs. Thereby, sabotages himself by failing to build rapport.

Learn nonverbal cues.
Blushing Smiling Staying silent
Gasping for air Turning pale Frowning
Giggling Rapid breathing Blue lips
Laughing Pacing the floor Shallow breathing
Whispering Wringing hands Sighing
Stammering Upright posture Repeatedly
checking
9Made by Suhaili Sahiful BahariSuhaili Sahiful Bahari

Part #3: Communication Style
You will learn how to identify person’s communication style.
Understand and learn to calibrate with their styles.
To establish rapport.
There are 4 types: Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic and Digital.

Now, let’s assess your
communication style.
5 minutes to answer.
5 minutes to score.
(Click here to answer.)

We state things in particular way.
Understanding peoples’ style
allows us to see why they receive
and communicate information the
way they do.

If you are flexible enough, you
CAN build rapport.
You shall learn why you connect
well with some peoples and NOT
be connecting well with others.

This is extremely important in
all areas of our life.
-Different style between spouse.
-Mom has 4 children with different styles.
-Teacher who has students with all 4 styles.
-Salesperson who has clients with all 4 styles.

Visual
Auditory
Kinesthetic
Digital

The Visual Communicator
See things as pictures.
Memorize by creating visual pictures in their mind.
Learn quickly.
Get bored easily when they have no plans.
Value time, so they likes things to start and end punctually.
Prefer getting the ‘big picture’ rather than the details.

They use these expressions often.
Focus
Imagine
Look
See
Show
Visualize
Illustrate
Clear
Clearly
Clarify
Picture
Bright
Appear
Dull
View
Enlighten
Ah, I see what you mean.
That’s not clear enough.
Just give me a big picture.
I get the picture.
Can you clarify?
You are looking great.
See you soon.

What others LIKE about Visual Style
Communicators?
They can move from one subject to another at lightning speed.
They are good at understanding the ‘big picture’ or ‘vision’ and running with it.
They are great time managers.
They are good at coming up with ‘big picture’ or ‘future vision’ ideas.

What others find CHALLENGING about
Visual Style Communicators?
They become rigid and inflexible when faced with timing or scheduling
changes.
They become impatient with listening to or reading details or with others.
They tend to to skip over details.
They tend to rush others and themselves.

How to build & break rapport?
Builds Rapport Break Rapport
Providing a timeline for an agenda.
Keeping meetings short
Honoring start and end times
Getting to the points quickly when
conversing.
Changing appointments without giving them
time to change plan they’ve pictured in their
mind.
Telling long stories with too many details
Holding long meetings
Arriving late for a scheduled meeting
Asking them for detailed information.

What causes Visual style person to become
stressed or out of balance?
● They grow rigid and inflexible if the picture
in their head gets changed too fast or too
often.
● They become impatient with too many
words, detailed and non-stop talking.
● They become irritate if project is not done
on time/ someone late for appointment.

How to help Visual Communicator get back
in balance?
● Get to the point quickly.
● Give them breaks to visualize details.
● Draw/illustrate your story.
● Arrive on time/earlier.
● Justify with concrete reasons when introducing new ideas/pictures.

The Auditory Communicator
● Good storytellers
● Learn by listening and
often don’t take notes.
● Remember what they hear
-word for word
● Talk to themselves when
working/concentrating
(you can often hear them
making sounds like ahh,
hmm, ooh)

They use these expressions.
Resonate
Repeat
Tune in
Buzz
Discuss
Listen
Sound
Hear
Whisper
Say
Clicking
Quiet
Talk/call/
chat
Ah, I hear what you mean.
Loud and clear, my friends.
Hey, that’s rings a bell.
It was music to my ear.
So good to talk to you.
Stay tuned.
Sounds great!
Hope to hear from you soon!

What others LIKE about Auditory Style
Communicators?
They are frequently eloquent speakers.
They are “ideas” peoples. Great for brainstorming.
They love, love, love discussing and can give lengthy explanation.
Many are great writers and editors.
They are great storytellers.

What others find CHALLENGING about
Auditory Style Communicators?
● They tend to be blunt, harsh, seem too direct. So, being diplomatic is a
challenge for them.
● They often interrupt and have a hard time letting other finish their
sentences.
● They tend to jump from subject to subject.
● They may fall in love with the sound of their own voice.
● They will repeat themselves until they are convinced they are being heard.

How to build & break rapport with auditory
communicator?
Builds Rapport Break Rapport
Asking them about themselves.
Help them stick to the subject
Listen closely.
Repeat things back to them.
Tell them (“I hear you.”)
Doing something else while they are talking
to you.
Interrupting them too often.
Speaking with harsh tone
Audio material is poor of quality technically
or grammatically.
Background music/noise that is annoying.

What causes Auditory style person to
become stress and out of balance?
● They withdraw.
● They may raise their voice if they feel unheard.
● They go from participating in a dialogue to giving a long-winded lecture.

How to help Auditory Communicator regain
balance?
● Let them know you are open to their input and ideas.
● Tell them you will be their listening board for a specific period of time.
● Be a total listener. Pay attention.
● If they wander or carry too long, gently nudge them back on track.
● Help them to focus exactly what they really want.

The Kinesthetic
Communicator

1. Often speak slowly
2. Learn best by doing
3. Need time to feel their way via new
information.
4. May say that they feel something is either
right or wrong when they asked to make a
decision.
5. Have a tendency to take time to settle into a
new environment.

Feel
Together
Connect
Fun
Comfortable 33Suhaili Sahiful Bahari

Relationship
Play
Grasp/handle
Care
Love
Soft

“It feels right to me”
“Stay in touch.”
“I’ve got to handle that now.”
“This seems fits.”
“Let’s catch up.”
“Let’s do this together.”
“Join us.”

They are very good at relationship
building.
They are extremely loyal.
They are nurturing & supportive.
They are details oriented.
They are great team players.

Have difficulty to make decisions quickly.
Can get overwhelmed when presented with too many choices.
Tend to provide more details than most peoples.
Can be slow and methodical. Take time to complete task.
May be needy.

1. Allow them time for creativity, fun, play.
2. Offer fewer & simpler choices.
3. Make point in group situation so they feel included.
4. Be sensitive to their need to be comfortable.
How to build rapport with Kinesthetic
Communicator?

● Feeling excluded.
● Being interrupted or talked over.
● Overwhelming them with too many choices at once.
● Disregard their intuitive or emotional reaction or
contribution to a plan.
● Stopping the fun.
● Stifling their creativity by overanalyzing.
How to break rapport with Kinesthetic
Communicator?

● They feel hurt when they sense being left out.
● They want to withdraw or escape from the situations
both physically and emotionally.
● They avoid doing what need to be done when
overwhelmed by overanalysis and too many options and
given complicated tasks.
● They do anything to avoid conflict and tend to become
passive instead of stand up or voicing up opinions.
How do they become stressed or out of
balance?

● Ask them how you can best support them.
● Give them time alone in their own space.
● Give them guidance how to take action and keep moving
forward.
● Break complicated choices/tasks into simpler steps.
● Offer to become their “support person” and offer to do things
with them as a team.
● Listen patiently and give them a lot of time to get to the point.
How can we help them get back their
balance?

● Memorize by steps & sequences
● Process information in a methodical, rational and logical
way
● Are very detail-oriented
● Have a strong need to make sense of the world around
them
● Learn by working things out of their mind
● Need time to process new information
The Digital Communicator

Perceive
Consider
Detail
Know
Describe
Process
Logical
Order
Think
Thought
Understand
Figure out
Make sense
Rational
Decide

They use these expression
● This makes sense.
● Pay attention to.
● I know what you mean.
● Can you describe about it?
● What do you think?
● Please describe more.
● I will try to figure it out.
● Word for word
● Without a doubt.
● What are your thoughts?

What others LIKE about Digital Style Communicators
● They think structurally.
● They are great strategists.
● They are excellent at sequencing and structuring tasks.
● They manage details extremely well.
● They are extremely adept at planning events, parties, or
outings.
● They see how the parts fit together to create the “big
picture.”
● They are good at solving complex problems.

What others CHALLENGING about Digital Style Communicators
● They are slow to trust new people, new things and
new concepts.
● They hate being interrupted.
● They can be stubborn and like to be asked to do
something instead of being told what to do.
● They don’t volunteer information and need to be
asked specifically. 46Suhaili Sahiful Bahari

How to build rapport with Digital Communicators?
● Create timelines with them.
● Using logic and providing facts and figures when
making decisions.
● Providing a quiet and private work environment.
● Giving them sufficient preparation.
● Showing that you trust them.

How to break rapport with Digital Communicators?
● Barging into their private space.
● Presenting too many ideas and not give them time to
process details.
● Expect immediate response to questions you’ve sprung
on them while they focused on something else.
● Telling them what to do rather than giving them choices.
● Taking them for granted and forget to acknowledge them.
● Changing agenda without including them in the process.

What happen when Digital Person to become stressed or out
of balance?
● When their schedules is interrupted or their routine is
disrupted, they tend to become rigid or stubborn.
● When their sense of order, or train of thought is
interrupted, they try to restore it themselves without
regard for other people’s needs or feelings.
● They can become stressed about things that might
happen sometimes in the future.

How can you help Digital Style to restore balance?
● Ask them what they need to make something better.
● Give them time alone to think things through.
● Encourage them to eat, because they often forget to
eat when deeply involved in a project.
● Remind them to trust present process, and
encourage them to not worry so much about the
future.

Now you can calibrate your
conversation.
“Do you see what I mean?
Does this sound right to you?
How do you feel about it?
Does it make sense?”

References
Learn more about calibrating our
conversation via
Law of Connection by Michael
J. Losier.
Excellent book!
Or you can attend NLP courses out there...

Neuro Linguistic Programming

Recommended

Recommended

More Related Content

Viewers also liked

Viewers also liked (17)

Similar to Neuro Linguistic Programming

Similar to Neuro Linguistic Programming (20)

Recently uploaded

Recently uploaded (6)

Neuro Linguistic Programming