ne-200-session12-april2017.pdf

Course NE-200
Technical Writing in English
CeNSE
Instructor: S.A. Shivashankar
Classes: Wednesdays, 2.30-4.10 PM

NE-100, Second Semester, 2016-17
Assignment 3- writing a Review Paper
Length: ~2000 words, DOUBLE-SPACED, HARD COPY
(about eight printed ages)
And in soft copy as well, if you would like me to do
detailed editing.
Due: Wednesday, April 19
Please submit the Assignment to the CeNSE Office.
Late submissions WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED.

Placing Emphasis
A charge of gross violation of academic responsibility is required
for a Governing Council to dismiss a tenured faculty member for
cause, and an elaborate hearing procedure with a prior statement
of charges is provided for before a tenured faculty member may
be dismissed for cause, in most States.

Placing Emphasis
In most States, before a Governing Council may dismiss a tenured
faculty member for cause, it must charge him with a gross violation
of academic responsibility and provide him with a statement
of charges and an elaborate hearing procedure.
A charge of gross violation of academic responsibility is required
for a Governing Council to dismiss a tenured faculty member for
cause, and an elaborate hearing procedure with a prior statement
of charges is provided for before a tenured faculty member may
be dismissed for cause, in most States.

Trim the end: In some cases, we can just lop off final unnecessary
words until we get to the information we want to stress,
leaving that information in the final stressed position.
Sociobiologists are making the provocative claim that our genes
largely determine our social behaviour in the way we act in situations
we find around us every day.

Trim the end: In some cases, we can just lop off final unnecessary
words until we get to the information we want to stress,
leaving that information in the final stressed position.
largely determine our social behaviour in the way we act in situations
we find around us every day.
largely determine our social behaviour.

Shift less important information to the left. One way to revise
for emphasis is to move unimportant phrases away from the end
of a sentence to expose what you want to emphasize:
The data that are offered to establish the existence of ESP do not
make believers of us for the most part. (ESP=extrasensory perception)

Shift less important information to the left. One way to revise
for emphasis is to move unimportant phrases away from the end
of a sentence to expose what you want to emphasize:
The data that are offered to establish the existence of ESP do not
make believers of us for the most part.
For the most part, the data that are offered to establish the existence
of ESP do not make us believers.

No one can explain why that first primeval superatom exploded
and thereby created the universe in a few words.

No one can explain why that first primeval superatom exploded
and thereby created the universe in a few words.
No one can explain in a few words why that first primeval superatom
exploded and thereby created the universe.

Shift important information to the right.
Moving the important information to the end of a sentence is another
way to manage the flow of ideas.

Shift important information to the right.
Moving the important information to the end of a sentence is another
way to manage the flow of ideas.
Another way you can manage the flow of ideas is to move the
most important information to the end of the sentence.

A discovery that will change the course of world history and the
very foundations of our understanding of ourselves and our place
in the scheme of things is imminent.

A discovery that will change the course of world history and the
very foundations of our understanding of ourselves and our place
in the scheme of things is imminent.
A discovery is imminent that will change the course of world history
and the very foundations of our understanding of ourselves
and our place in the scheme of things.

Old and New Information
Extract and isolate. When you put your most important ideas in
the middle of a long sentence, the sentence will swallow them up:
Under the Clean Water Act, the Ministry of Environment will
promulgate new standards for the treatment of industrial
wastewater prior to its discharge into sewers leading to publicly
owned treatment plants, with pre-treatment standards for types
of industrial sources being discretionary, depending on
local conditions, instead of imposing nationally uniform
standards now required under the Act.

First, break up the sentence:
wastewater prior to its discharge into sewers that lead to
publicly owned treatment plants. Standards for types of
industrial sources will be discretionary.
They will depend on local conditions, instead of imposing
the nationally uniform standards now required under the Act.

Then rearrange to get the right emphasis:
wastewater before it is discharged into sewers leading to
publicly owned treatment plants. Unlike the standards now
required under the Act, the new standards
will not be uniform across the whole nation. They instead
will be discretionary, depending on local conditions.

Another Example
In 1972, the United States Supreme Court declared that components
of a patented assembly could-be produced in this country
without infringing on US patents.�Since then, several cases have
tested whether various combinations of imported and domestic
items could be produced without infringing on US patents. The
courts have consistently held that any combination would infringe.
However, the concept of local production and foreign assembly
has not been tested as to infringement.

In 1972, the United States Supreme Court declared that components
of a patented assembly could be produced in this country
without infringing on US patents. Since then, this concept has
been tested by several cases involving various combinations of imported
and domestic items. The courts have consistently held that
US patents would be infringed by any combination. What has not
been tested, however, is the concept of local production and foreign
assembly.

In 1975 this country went through an Emergency that almost wrecked
our democratic system of government.

In 1975 this country went through an Emergency that almost wrecked
our democratic system of government.
It was in 1975 that this country went through an Emergency that almost
wrecked our democratic system of government.

This country needs a monetary policy that will end the violent
fluctuations in money supply, unemployment, and inflation.

This country needs a monetary policy that will end the violent
What this country needs is a monetary policy that will end the violent

That domestic oil prices must eventually rise to the level set by
OPEC once seemed inevitable.

That domestic oil prices must eventually rise to the level set by
OPEC once seemed inevitable.
It once seemed inevitable that domestic oil prices must eventually
rise to the level set by OPEC.

Active or Passive Voice? - What is the Context?
Consider the following sequence of sentences:
1) Some astonishing questions about the nature of the
universe have been raised by scientists exploring the
nature of black holes in space. 2 (a or b). 3) So much matter
compressed into so little volume changes the fabric of space
around it in profoundly puzzling ways.
2a. A black hole is created by the collapse of a dead star into a
point perhaps no larger than a marble. Passive
2b. The collapse of a dead star into a point perhaps no larger than
a marble creates a black hole. Active

Our intuitive sense (of coherence) should tell us that this context
calls not for the active sentence, but for the passive.
And the reasons are quite apparent to us:
The last part of sentence (1) introduces one of the
important characters in the story: black holes in space. If we
write sentence (2) in the active voice, we cannot mention black
holes again until its end, as the object of an active verb:
(b) The collapse of a dead star . . . creates a black hole.

We can improve the flow between sentences (1) and (2) if we
shift that object in sentence (2), a black hole, to the beginning
of its own sentence, where it will echo the last few words of
sentence (1). We can do that by making black hole the
subject of a passive verb: the nature of black holes in space:
A black hole is created by the collapse of a dead star
(or . . . when a dead star collapses).

By doing so, we also move to the end of sentence (2) the concept
that will open sentence (3), and thereby create a tight conceptual
link between those two sentences, namely,
the nature of black holes in space:

By doing so, we also move to the end of sentence (2) the concept
that will open sentence (3), and thereby create a tight conceptual
link between those two sentences, namely,
the nature of black holes in space:
A black hole is created by the collapse of a dead star into a
point perhaps no larger than a marble. So much matter
compressed into so little volume changes the fabric of space . . . .

Generally, use the beginning of your sentences to refer to
what you have already mentioned or knowledge that you can
assume you and the reader share.
Choose topics that will align your reader's point of view with what you
wish to convey. This will depend on how creatively you can use
verbs to make one or another of your characters the seeming
agent of an action.
Some general guides to good writing:

Organize your sentences so that you open them with old information
in the topic position, usually with a character as a subject.
Then follow the subject with a verb that expresses a crucial
action. Move complex information to the end of your sentence.
Then be certain that your string of topics is consistent and appropriate.
Some general guides to good writing:

An example
A patient whose reactions go unmonitored may also claim physician
liability. In this case, a patient took Cloromax as prescribed,
which resulted in partial renal failure. The manufacturer's literature
indicated that the patient should be observed frequently and
should immediately report any sign of infection. Evidence indicated
that the patient had not received instructions to report any
signs of urinary blockage. Moreover, the patient had no white cell
count taken until after he developed the blockage.

If a physician does not monitor his patient's reactions, he may
be held liable. In this case, the physician prescribed Cloromax,
which caused the patient to experience partial renal failure. The
physician had been cautioned by the manufacturer's literature
that he should observe the patient frequently and instruct the patient
to report any sign of infection. Evidence indicates that the
physician also failed to instruct the patient to report any sign of
urinary blockage. Moreover, he failed to take any white cell count
until after the patient developed the blockage.
An example: rewritten

Some Examples from the Class:
Day by day, right from the day we got our independence, English
is becoming popular and being pronounced as a medium for all
official instructions and amendments. The question which could chew
our mind is, how English itself got a seat as an official language
in our country, besides Hindi? Does English dominates our country
or we want it to get dominated.

Day by day, right from the day we got our independence, English
is becoming popular and being pronounced as a medium for all
official instructions and amendments. The question which could chew
our mind is, how English itself got a seat as an official language
in our country, besides Hindi? Does English dominates our country
or we want it to get dominated.
Ever since our country gained independence, English has been gaining
popularity and is today a medium for all official notification. We must
ponder how English, in addition to Hindi, has become an official
language. Why does English dominate the country as a language?
Do we, in fact, desire this domination?

Since the blades would be running at significant speed thin
film deposited on the blade should not degrade or change
its property with respect to the experimental conditions.
As the blades are continuously rotating the temperature
that could develop also needs to be considered.

Since the blades would be running at significant speed thin
film deposited on the blade should not degrade or change
its property with respect to the experimental conditions.
As the blades are continuously rotating the temperature
that could develop also needs to be considered.
Thin films deposited on blades should be such that they do
not degrade because of the high speeds at which blades
rotate continuously, and the high temperatures that may
result thereby.

The common thread underlying in all the above mentioned
devices is these properties are highly directional and effected
by domain structure. Since these material systems exhibit
correlation between structure and measured properties growth
of these thin films have been widely done on single crystalline
(001) oriented SrTiO3 substrates.

The common thread underlying in all the above mentioned
devices is these properties are highly directional and effected
by domain structure. Since these material systems exhibit
correlation between structure and measured properties growth
of these thin films have been widely done on single crystalline
(001) oriented SrTiO3 substrates.
The common thread running through the effects observed in these
thin film materials is that they are all highly directional and
are affected by domain structure. Therefore, they have generally
been grown on (001)-oriented SrTiO3 substrates.

Inspite of the recent p-type oxide TFTs developments based on SnOx
and CuxO, the results achieved so far refer to devices processed at
high temperature and are limited by a low hole mobility and a low
on-off ratio and still there is no report on p-type oxide TFTs with
performance similar to n-type, especially when comparing their
field-effect mobility values, which are at least one order of magnitude
higher on n-type oxide TFTs.

Inspite of the recent p-type oxide TFTs developments based on SnOx
and CuxO, the results achieved so far refer to devices processed at
high temperature and are limited by a low hole mobility and a low
on-off ratio and still there is no report on p-type oxide TFTs with
performance similar to n-type, especially when comparing their
field-effect mobility values, which are at least one order of magnitude
higher on n-type oxide TFTs.
Although TFTs based on p-type oxides, such as SnOx and CuxO, have
recently been developed, they are processed at high temperature
and are limited by a low hole mobility and a low on-off ratio. There
are today no TFTs based on p-type oxides which can match the
performance of TFTs based on n-type oxides, wherein field-effect
mobility is at least an order of magnitude greater.

The material quality (less dislocation and trap density) requirement
for high frequency RF devices is superior compared to power devices
and this decides the substrate.

The material quality (less dislocation and trap density) requirement
for high frequency RF devices is superior compared to power devices
and this decides the substrate.
High-frequency devices require material of higher quality (lower
density of dislocations and traps) than power devices do; this
dictates the choice of substrate.

In the past years, ultrasound was emitted by means of conventional
transducers which were larger in size and were also less efficient.

In the past years, ultrasound was emitted by means of conventional
transducers which were larger in size and were also less efficient.
To date, ultrasound has been generated using transducers that
are large and inefficient.

The vapor ejector refrigeration systems (VERS) are more attractive
compared to vapor compression refrigeration systems (VCRS), with
the advantage of simplicity in construction, installation and
maintenance.

compared to vapor compression refrigeration systems (VCRS), with
the advantage of simplicity in construction, installation and
maintenance.
than vapor compression refrigeration systems (VCRS), as they
offer the advantages of simplicity in construction, installation and
maintenance.

Several methods has been reported in literature to obtain MoS2
layers. Mechanical exfoliation is the most easiest and efficient
method to obtain defect-free monolayers of MoS2. But, the
method is inherently limited with controlling the no. of layers.

Several methods has been reported in literature to obtain MoS2
layers. Mechanical exfoliation is the most easiest and efficient
method to obtain defect-free monolayers of MoS2. But, the
method is inherently limited with controlling the no. of layers.
Several methods for obtaining MoS2 layers have been reported in
the literature. Mechanical exfoliation
is the easiest and most efficient method to obtain defect-free
monolayers of MoS2. But, the method is inherently limited in
providing control over the number of layers (exfoliated).

Polyolefin membranes are basically interesting materials because
of processing and chemically inertness.
It was found that chitosan grafted PE membranes enhanced surface
roughness and the concentration of nitrogen sealed with the
increase of concentration of chitosan.

Polyolefin membranes are basically interesting materials because
of processing and chemically inertness.
It was found that chitosan grafted PE membranes enhanced surface
roughness and the concentration of nitrogen sealed with the
increase of concentration of chitosan.
Polyolefin membranes are interesting materials because
of their processability and chemical inertness.
It was found that chitosan-grafted PE membranes enhance surface
roughness and that the concentration of nitrogen sealed
increases with the concentration of chitosan.

Wide bandgap materials like GaN have come a long way as
microwave devices and seems promising for the future needs
of microwave/RF wireless communication systems.

Wide bandgap materials like GaN have come a long way as
microwave devices and seems promising for the future needs
of microwave/RF wireless communication systems.
Microwave devices made with wide bandgap materials, such as
GaN, promise to meet the needs of microwave/RF
communication systems of the future.

Measuring the spectrums for the different regimes and calculating
the participation ratio, mapping of the dissipation channel was done.
It was observed that with the realistic parameters most of the
dissipative channels can be removed except thermal broadening
which was resolved using sideband cooling.

Measuring the spectrums for the different regimes and calculating
the participation ratio, mapping of the dissipation channel was done.
It was observed that with the realistic parameters most of the
dissipative channels can be removed except thermal broadening
which was resolved using sideband cooling.
Measuring the spectra of the different regimes, calculating the
participation ratio, and mapping the dissipation channels, were
carried out. It was found that, with realistic parameters,
most of the dissipative channels could be removed except thermal
broadening, which was resolved using sideband cooling.

Though NAATs exhibit a plethora of benefits, there still exist some
associated challenges like the choice of amplification template,
operating temperature, intolerance to crude sample, sensitivity
and multiplexing capability.
(NAAT= nucleic acid amplification test)

Though NAATs exhibit a plethora of benefits, there still exist some
associated challenges like the choice of amplification template,
operating temperature, intolerance to crude sample, sensitivity
and multiplexing capability.
Though NAATs offer many benefits, challenges remain; these
include the choice of amplification template, the operating
temperature, intolerance to crude samples, and the sensitivity
and multiplexing capability of the tests.

Layer VI of the visual cortex is one of the major cause for
orientational selectivity which contains orientation-tuned cells.
The model system for the study will be rodent Layer VI of the
visual cortex using electrophysiological approaches, as it is a
rich and dynamic cortical area in which functions normally
associated with higher brain regions can be studied at the
mechanical level.

Layer VI of the visual cortex is one of the major cause for
orientational selectivity which contains orientation-tuned cells.
The model system for the study will be rodent Layer VI of the
visual cortex using electrophysiological approaches, as it is a
rich and dynamic cortical area in which functions normally
associated with higher brain regions can be studied at the
mechanical level.
Layer VI of the visual cortex, which contains orientation-tuned cells,
is one of the major causes of orientational selectivity.
The model system for the study will be the Layer VI of the
rodent visual cortex, as it is a rich and dynamic cortical area in
which functions normally associated with higher brain regions can
be examined at the mechanical level using electrophysiological
approaches.

Nearly twenty years after the invention of the turing machine
first computing machine was build using the idea of turing
machine. As it can do computation very easily people became
interest in this machine. But the main issue with this machine
was it was very slow and it did not have a memory where
people can store their required data.

Nearly twenty years after the invention of the turing machine
first computing machine was build using the idea of turing
machine. As it can do computation very easily people became
interest in this machine. But the main issue with this machine
was it was very slow and it did not have a memory where
people can store their required data.
Nearly twenty years after the Turing machine was invented,
the first such machine was built. Scientists became interested
in it immediately because it could perform computation well.
But it was slow and did not have memory in which data could
be stored.

Due to the advancement of science and technology, the electrical
and electronic equipments have become faster as well as cheaper.
This reduction in the cost of electronic equipments has increased
its demand and use. This increased use of these equipments have
led to a tremendous increment of e-waste in the world.

Due to the advancement of science and technology, the electrical
and electronic equipments have become faster as well as cheaper.
This reduction in the cost of electronic equipments has increased
its demand and use. This increased use of these equipments have
led to a tremendous increment of e-waste in the world.
Due to rapid advances in science and technology, electrical
and electronic equipment have become faster as well as cheaper.
This reduction in cost has led to a surge in their use. This, in turn,
has led to an explosion of e-waste, as a new generation quickly
renders an older one obsolete.
“Equipment” has no plural.

The world population is increasing at a very high rate
and with that the power requirement is also increasing.
along with that, the rapid industrial development has
added to the problem of energy crisis.

Magnetism
The material exhibits a magnetic property due to both
spin and orbital motion of electrons.

Magnetism
The material exhibits a magnetic property due to both
spin and orbital motion of electrons.
The magnetic behaviour of a material is due to
both the spin and the orbital motion of electrons.

The ICSE and CBSE board schools are very less in number
compared to the children going to schools.

The ICSE and CBSE board schools are very less in number
compared to the children going to schools.
ICSE and CBSE schools are too few in number to
accommodate all the children seeking admission
to them.
ICSE and CBSE schools are too few in number to
accommodate all the children seeking to attend them.

Micro and nanoswimmers centered research has been the
hot topic during the past decade. Owing to its small size
and tenability of its properties, some of them have been
promising for various biomedical applications.

Micro and nanoswimmers centered research has been the
hot topic during the past decade. Owing to its small size
and tenability of its properties, some of them have been
promising for various biomedical applications.
A better way…….
Micro- and nano-swimmers have been a hot topic
of research during the past decade, because of
promising biological applications stemming from their
small size and the tunability of their properties.

An “algorithm” for writing better
• Prepare to write
• Style: Use simple English
• Length of sentences and paragraphs: shorter is generally better
• Avoid unnecessary words and repetition:
“Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary
words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason
that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no
unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer all sentences short
or avoid all detail and treat subjects only in outline,
but that every word tell. “
-----William Strunk in The Elements of Style

An “algorithm” for writing better
• Use Active rather than Passive voice (wherever appropriate)
• Explain new ideas clearly
• Action! – Verbs instead of Nouns (avoid “nominalisation”)
• “First person” rather than “Third person”
wherever possible/permitted

Preparing to write
• What is the objective?
• WRITE IT DOWN
• Who is the “audience”?: The “customer”
• Decide what the contents should be
• Have a dictionary/guide to use of English
• Identify a colleague who will review your draft

Technical Writing
• Good writing is organised : structure and flow,
together seeking CLARITY
• Introduce, describe, summarise
- “hill, valley, and a hill”

Organisation in Writing
• Place similar ideas near each other – within a sentence,
from one sentence to another, from one paragraph to the next,
from one section to the next
•

• Every paragraph must have a well-defined scope

• Sentences must be in a logical flow – use of “transition words”,
such as, “however”, “therefore”, “furthermore”…..
•

• Establish connections – between sentences, between different
ideas being conveyed

• Establish connections – between sentences, between different
ideas being conveyed
• Writing as an exercise that helps locate “flaws” – REWRITE;
may even lead to a “RETHINK”

Some Rules/Guidelines for Writing
• Use simple, familiar words
•

One question that often fascinates me is that, what
drives the ageing program at the molecular level.
Delving deep into the sea of proteins inside the cell,
I confounded the plethora of them operating the
molecular program with indiscernable intricacies.
But of all the Tom, Dick, and Harry strolling through
the cellular milieu it is the protein SIRT6 that caught
my attention, the most.
FANCY WORDS! – not called for

• Break sentences into “pieces” or “chunks”: Punctuation
•

• Noun (subject) - Verb relation -
Make the subject and the verb in each “chunk” or clause very clear

• Link these “chunks” clearly and unambiguously.
i.e., Ask “what is what? “who does what?” (Read aloud)

• Use “Pointer” or “Signal” words, such as “because”, “but”, “so”,
“before”, “therefore”, etc., to hint at “what is next”.

• Use “Pointer” or “Signal” words, such as “because”, “but”, “so”,
“before”, “therefore”, etc., to hint at “what is next”.
• Beware the overuse of Prepositions

The Noun – Verb link
The government’s investigation into the shipment of wheat
by the exporter was met by his refusal in regard to an
examination of payments for its domestic transportation.
…….poor writing

The Noun – Verb link
The government’s investigation into the shipment of wheat
by the exporter was met by his refusal in regard to an
examination of payments for its domestic transportation.
…….poor writing
The government investigated the shipment of wheat by
the exporter. But the exporter blocked the investigation
by refusing to allow examination of the method of
payment for domestic transportation of wheat.
……...better way to write
(NOT its domestic transportation)

Using familiar words
Symptomatology relative to impending or incipient onset
of illness generally manifests itself usually via a marked
chill, following which a rapid rise of temperature to the
1030 – 1050 range is characteristically observed.
……jargon, unclear

Using familiar words
Symptomatology relative to impending or incipient onset
of illness generally manifests itself usually via a marked
chill, following which a rapid rise of temperature to the
1030 – 1050 range is characteristically observed.
……jargon, unclear
We know little of the incubation period in acute pneumonia.
It is probably very short. There are sometimes slight catarrhal
symptoms for a day or two. As a rule, the disease sets in abruptly
with a severe chill, which lasts from fifteen to thirty minutes
or longer.
………familiar words, little jargon, meaning clear

Piece-making
There have been no flu deaths from even the most
virulent types of the disease for the past ten years
in the country.
-awkward, to say the least

Piece-making
There have been no flu deaths from even the most
virulent types of the disease for the past ten years
in the country.
-awkward, to say the least
Over the past ten years,
there have been no deaths in the country due to the flu
-not even from the most virulent types of the disease.
……sentence broken into pieces, making meaning clear

Pointers
Because a rainstorm was forecast, he carried an umbrella.

Pointers
As the days go by in the Spring, the days get longer.

Pointers
As the days go by in the Spring, the days get longer.
Napoleon loved only himself, but unlike Hitler,
he hated nobody.

From too many Prepositions…
English teachers agree that personal ownership and use of
a good dictionary is a prime necessity for every student
in obtaining the maximum results from the study of English.

…….To No Prepositions
English teachers agree that personal ownership and use of
a good dictionary is a prime necessity for every student
in obtaining the maximum results from the study of English.
English teachers agree that students should own and use a
good dictionary.

Guide to Correct Sentence Structure
A phrase is not a sentence.
Summer being severe last year. Bangalore had a severe
problem with the drinking water supply. WRONG

A phrase is not a sentence.
Summer being severe last year. Bangalore had a severe
problem with the drinking water supply. WRONG
Summer being severe last year, Bangalore had a severe problem with
the supply of drinking water.
OR
Because of a harsh summer, Bangalore had a severe problem with the
supply of drinking water last year.

A dependent clause is not a sentence.
I had no money for the trip. When suddenly my friend paid me
what he had borrowed. WRONG
Lakshmi lived in Chennai for five years. From which she moved
to Delhi. WRONG

A dependent clause is not a sentence
I had no money for the trip. When suddenly my friend paid me
what he had borrowed. WRONG
I had no money for the trip. Suddenly, my friend paid me what
he had borrowed.
Lakshmi lived in Chennai for five years. From which she moved
to Delhi. WRONG
For five years Lakshmi lived in Chennai, from where she
moved to Delhi.

“Stopping and shifting”
An old man in the house, who, because he had become
progressively lame, was forced to use a cane and then to be
confined to a wheelchair, asked the landlord to build a ramp. WRONG

The stochastic optimization problems are in important
class of optimization problems. As optimization problems
try to find out the parameter for which the minimum value
is obtained for a given function. Stochastic optimization
problems try to do the same when function explicit form
is not known. So these kind of problems are more general
in real world because we do not often get function
explicit form.
The underlined segment is a phrase, not a sentence

Comma in the wrong place
A meeting of the clean room committee is scheduled for
this afternoon, many important items are on the agenda. WRONG

Comma in the wrong place
this afternoon, many important items are on the agenda. WRONG
this afternoon. Many important items are on the agenda.
this afternoon; many important items are on the agenda.
this afternoon, and many important items are on the agenda.

The “fused” sentence
The recession affected the IT industry severely thousands
of engineers lost their jobs. WRONG
When he left the army, Arun took up horseracing this activity
is often called the Sport of Kings. WRONG

The “fused” sentence
The recession affected the IT industry severely thousands
of engineers lost their jobs. WRONG
When he left the army, Arun took up horseracing this activity
is often called the Sport of Kings. WRONG
Improved:
The recession affected the IT industry severely. Thousands
of engineers lost their jobs.
When he left the army, Arun took up horseracing, often called
the Sport of Kings.

Word Order
In English, unlike in Indian languages, word order is important.
Compare:
My husband’s first job was in the automobile industry.

Word Order
In English, unlike in Indian languages, word order is important.
Compare:
My husband’s first job was in the automobile industry.
My first husband’s job was in the automobile industry.
1. Related words should be kept together.
2. Words should not be misplaced and allowed to “dangle”.
3. Words that belong together should not be separated
needlessly.

Misplaced Modifiers
A word that describe, limits, or modifies another word should be
so placed that the relationship between the two is unmistakable.
The boy who is delivering our newspaper currently needs a haircut.
The boy who is currently delivering our newspaper needs haircut.
The person who can make the measurement well deserves praise.
The person who can make the measurement well certainly deserves praise.

The repairman who does his work quietly from the point of
view of the apartment resident is worthy of praise.
One day last month the MNCF was closed for alterations to
all students.

The repairman who does his work quietly from the point of
view of the apartment resident is worthy of praise.
From the point of view of the apartment dweller, the repairman who
does his work quietly is worthy of praise.
One day last month the MNCF was closed for alterations to
all students.
One day last month, the MNCF was closed to all students for alterations.
To make alterations, the MNCF was closed one day last month to all students.

Be careful with the placement of only, hardly, even, not, scarcely
He hardly has enough money to make that purchase.
He has hardly enough money to make that purchase.
Only the supervisor told me to finish the job soon.
“Only” can be in almost any position in this sentence. Try it!
The only supervisor told me to …..
The supervisor told me only to finish……..
The supervisor told only me……

Be careful with the placement of only, hardly, even, not, scarcely
He hardly has enough money to make that purchase.
He has hardly enough money to make that purchase.
Only the supervisor told me to finish the job soon.
“Only” can be in almost any position in this sentence. Try it!
The only supervisor told me to …..
The supervisor told me only to finish……..
The supervisor told only me……
Which one is correct? You must know what you mean.
The value of susceptibility depends only on…..
Only the value of susceptibility depends on…………

Dangling modifiers
To play tennis well, a good racquet is needed.
By exercising every day, your health will improve.

Dangling modifiers
To play tennis well, a good racquet is needed.
A good racquet is needed to play tennis well.
By exercising every day, your health will improve.
By exercising every day, you can improve your health.
To improve your health, you must exercise every day.

To avoid dangling modifiers:
1. Expand the verbal phrase to a dependent clause.
2. Supply the noun that the dangling phrase should modify.
3. Place the construction so that no confusion is possible.
Walking down the aisle, the show started.

To avoid dangling modifiers:
1. Expand the verbal phrase to a dependent clause.
2. Supply the noun that the dangling phrase should modify.
3. Place the construction so that no confusion is possible.
Walking down the aisle, the show started.
While we were walking down the aisle, the show started.
Walking down the aisle, Manjula saw the show begin.

Dangling modifiers:
When 19 years old, my grandfather died.
While working last night, the lights went out.
Before thoroughly warmed up, electronic instruments must not
be used to make measurements.

Dangling modifiers:
When 19 years old, my grandfather died.
While working last night, the lights went out.
Before thoroughly warmed up, electronic instruments must not
be used to make measurements.
When I was 19 years old, my grandfather died.
While I was working last night, the lights went out.
Electronic instruments must be warmed up thoroughly
before using them to make measurements.
Measurements with electronic instruments must only be
be made after they are warmed up thoroughly.

Splitting a verb phrase is not generally appropriate
This was the paper we had before we went to the IEEE conference
studied so carefully.

Splitting a verb phrase is not generally appropriate
This was the paper we had before we went to the IEEE conference
studied so carefully.
This was the paper we had studied so carefully before we
went to the IEEE conference.

Logical sentences
What is illogical? Grouping of words that
1. is contrary to reason
2. violates some principle of regularity
3. fails to make good sense
4. omits an important word or words
5. adds an element with no grammatical function
6. substitutes a dependent clause functioning as
one part of speech or another

The spectrometer is so good.
The spectrometer is so good that it can make excellent measurements.
I have interest and regard for your work.
I have interest in and regard for your work.
The speaker asked that question be repeated.
The speaker asked that the question be repeated.
Mahatma Gandhi is one of the greatest if not the greatest men of all time.
Mahatma Gandhi is one of the greatest men of all time, if not the greatest.

Unless the rainstorm lets us, we cannot make it to Mumbai tonight,
unless the roads are clear.
Because the cable was faulty was the reason that I could not make
the measurement in the lab today.
My high fever was because I was in weak condition.

Unless the rainstorm lets us, we cannot make it to Mumbai tonight,
unless the roads are clear.
Unless the rainstorm lets up, and the roads are clear,
we cannot make it to Mumbai tonight.
Because the cable was faulty was the reason that I could not make
the measurement in the lab today.
I could not make the measurement in the lab today because the
cable was faulty.
My high fever was because I was in weak condition.
My weak condition caused a high fever.
That I was in weak condition was the cause for my high fever.

Consistent Sentence Structure
Consistency in tense:
I was working in the garden when suddenly a bird flew towards me.
Then it flies past me, as if it does not like me and heads for Krishna.
Scared, he leapt to one side.
Use the past tense or the present tense throughout.

Consistent Subject and Voice
The diesel engine burns little kerosene, and the driver says it is
completely reliable.
As the air plane descends, Bangalore landmarks can be seen.

Consistent Subject and Voice
The diesel engine burns little kerosene, and the driver says it is
completely reliable.
The driver says that the diesel engine burns little kerosene
and is completely reliable.
As the air plane descends, Bangalore landmarks can be seen.
As you descend in the air plane, you can see the landmarks
of Bangalore.

Consistency in the use of number (singular/plural)
I enjoyed a masala dosa, but they tend to make me thirsty (fat?).
If observations are correct, it will confirm our theory.

Consistency in the use of number (singular/plural)
I enjoyed a masala dosa, but they tend to make me thirsty (fat?).
I enjoy a masala dosa, but it tends to make me thirsty.
If observations are correct, it will confirm our theory.
If (their, our) observations are correct, they confirm our theory.
If (their, our) observations are correct, our theory will be confirmed.
The chance of such errors being made increases when long and
complicated sentences are constructed.

Unified sentences:
Sentence unity is violated in two ways:
1. Placing unrelated ideas together
2. Putting too may details in one sentence.
Preethi is a good engineer and she has friend named Reena.
- Short sentence, no connection within

Unified sentences:
Sentence unity is violated in two ways:
1. Placing unrelated ideas together
2. Putting too may details in one sentence.
Preethi is a good engineer and she has friend named Reena.
- Short sentence, no connection within
Although he liked his teachers, especially in history, English, and
Sociology, he was tired of school work, and decided to take up a
job and get married.
-Longer sentence, but with unity of thought
So, Unity has little to do with length.

“Rambling” sentences:
As I grew older, my desire to play soccer grew also, and when I entered
high school I was too small for the first two years, being only fifty kilos,
so I had to watch from the sideline, but later in high school I began to
grow, and before I completed high school, I was the captain my team,
because I had grown in size and strength.

Improved, and with some “Style”:
Although my interest in soccer had grown with the years, I discovered
upon entering high school that my physical growth had not kept up with
my desire to play. For two years, my small frame grudgingly watched
from the sidelines as others played. That before I graduate I was the
captain of the school soccer team, I contend, is due to a genuine,
if familiar, miracle: in the years between, I had grown big and strong.

An important aspect of learning to write….
READ good writing (in English) regularly (frequently)
-fiction, essays, science, speeches………
- Articles in Scientific American, Physics Today,
Accounts of Chemical Research, MRS Bulletin, …..

Examples
• Rainfall in Bangalore last year was less compared to
the previous year. WRONG.
• I have been a student at IISc since three years. WRONG.
• He was both his father as well as his mentor. WRONG.

Examples
• Rainfall in Bangalore last year was less compared to
the previous year. WRONG.
Rainfall in Bangalore last year was less than in the previous year.
• I have been a student at IISc since three years. WRONG.
I have been a student at IISc for three years OR
I have been a student at IISc since 2010.
• He was both his father as well as his mentor. WRONG.
He was his father as well as his mentor OR
He was both his father and his mentor.

Examples
• Graphene based devices hold great promise.
• Each February IISc is holding an Open Day for the public to visit.
• Huge number of cars use the airport highway.

Examples
• Graphene based devices hold great promise.
Graphene-based devices hold great promise.
• Each February IISc is holding an Open Day for the public to visit.
Each February, IISc holds an Open Day for the public to visit.
• Huge number of cars use the airport highway.
A large number of cars use the airport highway.

News Writing
News-writing is the art of maximizing information and
minimizing words; it is the barest-bones form of writing.
The fundamentals of good writing can be learned by
dissecting (good) news articles.
When you write news, you are trying to inform your reader
in the quickest, most interesting way possible.

What scientific writers can learn from journalists:
• That a clear, succinct, informative writing style is best
• That holding your reader’s attention matters!
Writing in news style:

Just the facts, Ma’am.

Some principles of news writing
1. Do not use a complicated word or sentence when a
simple one will do.
2. Avoid jargon, clichés, and euphemisms.
3. Do not cram too much into one sentence.
• Avoid redundancy and repetition.
4. Use active verbs and follow the usual
“conversational” flow of words
5. Use facts, not opinion.
6. Be specific.

Some principles of news writing
1. Do not use a complicated word or sentence when a simple
one will do.

Let us try to make this sentence more “newsworthy”…
President Mukherjee remarked that housing opportunities
that are attractively priced for the BPL population are being
researched by the Government currently.
President Mukherjee said that the Government is seeking
to make housing affordable to the BPL population.

This is a single sentence (from the draft of a
student’s thesis)…………
All these solutions which also include the coatings by PVD
or a combination of CVD and PVD, introduced but till very
recent times, work very well as far as functionality is concerned
(i.e. machining operations), but as each of the process requires
multiple coatings, different temperatures, different materials,
high temperatures etc., the processing or manufacturing effort
and cost of each of the machining tool bits goes up with these
additional processes and the final cost of the cutting tools
touches astronomical values, which affects the industrial
production rate, and, hence the cutting tool market in a
detrimental way.

2. Avoid jargon, clichés, and euphemisms
Selected Euphemisms
accept the resignation of
economically disadvantaged
limited success
pre-owned
underachiever
expire
collateral damage

2. Avoid jargon, clichés, and euphemisms
Selected Euphemisms
accept the resignation of
economically disadvantaged
limited success
pre-owned
underachiever
expire
”collateral damage”
“workforce balancing”

“Collateral damage is one of those antiseptic-sounding euphemisms
that are sometimes more chilling than plain language, so hard do
they labor to conceal their human meaning.”
--Hendrik Hertzberg in the New Yorker

3. Do not cram too much into one sentence.
• Avoid redundancy and repetition.
In news writing, all needless words are eliminated.
For example, “that” and “on” are often eliminated:
• The meeting happened on Monday.
• The meeting happened Monday.
• They agreed that it was true.
• They agreed it was true.

Avoid using two or more words that mean
the same thing (redundancy).
The conductivity of the sample behaved strangely and in odd ways
following the lowering of the temperature below 100 K.

Avoid using two or more words that mean
the same thing (redundancy).
The conductivity of the sample behaved strangely and in odd ways
following the lowering of the temperature below 100 K.

The conductivity of the sample behaved strangely when its
temperature was lowered below 100 K.

Do not repeat a word unless you need it again
for clarity or emphasis (i.e., avoid repetition)
When he was a student, his favorite classes
were the classes that gave no homework.

Do not repeat a word unless you need it again
for clarity or emphasis (i.e., avoid repetition)
When he was a student, his favorite classes
were the classes that gave no homework.

When he was a student, his favorite classes were those that
gave no homework.
When he was a student, his favorite classes gave no homework.

Caveat: Keep your sentences short but not
so short that they are “choppy”.
Example: (from Successful Science Writing)
Two canine cadavers with orthopedic abnormalities were identified.
The first dog had an unusual deformity. It was secondary to premature
closure of the distal ulnar physis. The second dog had a hypertrophic
nonunion of the femur. The radius and femur of both dogs were harvested.
They were cleaned of soft tissue.

Caveat: Keep your sentences short but not
so short that they are “choppy”.
Example: (from Successful Science Writing)
The first dog had an unusual deformity. It was secondary to premature
closure of the distal ulnar physis. The second dog had a hypertrophic
nonunion of the femur. The radius and femur of both dogs were harvested.
They were cleaned of soft tissue.
The first had an unusual deformity, secondary to premature
closure of the distal ulnar physis; the second had a hypertrophic
nonunion of the femur. The radius and femur of both dogs were harvested
and cleaned of soft tissue.
News writers use the dash, semicolon, and colon to merge
choppy sentences together.

Use active verbs & follow the usual “conversational” flow of words
Write with nouns and verbs
KEY LESSON OF NEWS WRITING:
The active voice vs. the passive voice.
Use the Active Voice! (wherever appropriate in technical writing)
(We have dealt with this earlier.)

Let us try to make this sentence more “newsworthy”…
President Mukherjee remarked that housing opportunities
that are attractively priced for the BPL population are being
researched by the Government currently.

What scientific writers should learn from journalists
1. That a clear, succinct, informative writing style is best and…
2. That holding your reader’s attention matters.
News writers follow these tactics…
1. Tell a story
2. Put things into context
e.g., numerical, historical
3. Focus on people/action
4. Ask: “Would my grandmother understand this?”

Let us try to make this more understandable……..
The terms genetic predisposition and susceptibility are not entirely
satisfactory terms because they are not independent concepts,
but we use the terms to distinguish the extent of increased risk that
arise from the inherited genetic alterations, calling very high
individual risk, predisposition, and lower risk, susceptibility.

Let us try to make this more understandable……..
The terms genetic predisposition and susceptibility are not entirely
satisfactory terms because they are not independent concepts,
but we use the terms to distinguish the extent of increased risk that
arise from the inherited genetic alterations, calling very high
individual risk, predisposition, and lower risk, susceptibility.
We call inherited genetic alterations ‘genetic predisposition’
if they confer a very high risk of disease, and ‘genetic susceptibility’
if they confer a lower risk.

How about this one?.........
Certain etiologic factors might be more likely to lead to certain
types of molecular changes, so defining tumors based on
molecular changes might lead to formation of more etiologically
homogeneous subsets of tumors than are apparent solely
through histologic categories.
(Etiology: The cause, set of causes, or manner of causation
of a disease or condition)

How about this one?.........
Certain etiologic factors might be more likely to lead to certain
types of molecular changes, so defining tumors based on
molecular changes might lead to formation of more etiologically
homogeneous subsets of tumors than are apparent solely
through histologic categories.
(Etiology: The cause, set of causes, or manner of causation
of a disease or condition)
Tumors caused by a particular environmental or genetic factor
undergo predictable molecular changes; thus, classifying tumors
by molecular rather than histologic changes may give more
etiologically homogeneous subsets.

Now this one……..
It is interesting to note that the new organism is
green in color, round in shape, 5x10 mm in size,
and active with respect to motility.

Now this one……..
It is interesting to note that the new organism is
green in color, round in shape, 5x10 mm in size,
and active with respect to motility.
The new organism is green, round, 5x10 mm, and mobile.

How about this one?.......
In view of the fact that solar energy is not yet fully developed
at the present time, we will have to continue utilizing
fossil fuels well into the next century.

How about this one?.......
In view of the fact that solar energy is not yet fully developed
at the present time, we will have to continue utilizing
fossil fuels well into the next century.
Because solar energy technology is underdeveloped,
we will have to use fossil fuels well into the next century.

These tactics might also improve scientific writing:
Can we tell it more like a story?
Can we add a bit of history?
Can we emphasize the most important aspects up high and
add details later?

Biological environment is heterogeneous in nature,
which consists of various types of ions, proteins, cells.

Biological environment is heterogeneous in nature,
which consists of various types of ions, proteins, cells.
Better constructions……..
Biological environment is heterogeneous,
and comprises ions, proteins, and cells.
Biological environments are heterogeneous, and are
made of ions, proteins, and cells.

What scientists mean when they say………….
1. It has long been known that…….
I haven’t bothered to look up the original reference.
2. It is well known that……..
I happen to know it.
3. It is generally believed that………
I and a couple of my colleagues think so.
4. Of great theoretical and practical importance………
Interesting to me.
5. While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to these
questions….
The experiment did not work out, but I might as well get a publication
out of it.
6. Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study……..
The results on the others did not make sense and were ignored.
7. These results will be reported at a later date……
I might possibly get around to it.
8. The most reliable results are those of Joshi……..
Joshi was a student of mine.
9. I thank Rao for assistance with the experiments and Singh for useful
discussions.
Rao conducted the experiments and Singh explained them to me.

ne-200-session12-april2017.pdf

Recommended

Recommended

More Related Content

Similar to ne-200-session12-april2017.pdf

Similar to ne-200-session12-april2017.pdf (20)

Recently uploaded

Recently uploaded (20)

ne-200-session12-april2017.pdf