Being a foster parent requires preparation and understanding of the challenges a foster child faces. Foster children experience grief over separation from their families and may act out in anger. As a foster parent, it is important to educate others about the foster system, encourage relationships between the child and their biological family when possible, and help the child build connections with other trusted adults like teachers. Foster parents should also help children cope with their negative feelings through counseling and by providing avenues for working through emotions. With support, foster children can better deal with their situation and find greater happiness.

1. Preparing to Become
A FOSTER
PARENT
N A D A V Z E I M E R N A D A V Z E I M E R . O R G

2. BE PREPARED
Being a foster parent is not an easy journey
to embark on, but providing a safe and
loving home to a child in need is one of the
most rewarding things a person can do. To
be a great foster parent, you first need to be
prepared.

3. The majority of the public has
little understanding of the foster
care system. Often, they’re
quick to blame caseworkers for
either acting too soon, or not
acting quickly enough. There
are often multiple issues that
lead to a child being placed in
the foster care system, but the
public will usually only be aware
of one of them. As a foster
parent, do your best to educate
anyone your child comes in
contact with about the system
and help teach your child as
well.
EDUCATION

4. Children in the foster care system should be
taught about how to respond to others’
inquiring about their placement in the system.
One book that aims to do this is the “W.I.S.E. Up!
Powerbook.” Though initially developed for
adopted children, the workbook has been
adapted for use with children in foster care.
The workbook children work through difficult
questions that may be asked about their
situation.

5. BUILDING
CONNECTIONS
For children, having connections are essential for their mental wellbeing.
A child in foster care will often feel like they don’t belong, no matter how
accommodating you are. Encouraging a relationship with their family of
origin is incredibly beneficial for a foster child. While there are many
situations where a relationship with their family is not possible if a child
can maintain a relationship with their family, make sure to do so.

6. BUILDING
CONNECTIONS
Cultivating relationships with other adults in the child’s life will also
benefit them. Whether it’s a coach or a teacher, it’s crucial for a child
to understand that there are people in their life who care about and
support them. As a foster parent, help your child make these
connections. Organize a weekly dinner or game night with their
origin family and try to bridge the gap between your family and
theirs. Encourage your child to speak to their favorite teacher and
make a connection with them. Help your child to recognize the many
people that they can connect with.

7. DEALING
WITH GRIEF
A foster child will often have strong feelings of
abandonment, anger and grief over their
situation. Nobody wants to be separated from
their family and placed in an entirely new
setting, which may mean attending a new
school and losing any friends they had. Help
your child work through these feelings.
Understand that they make take their anger out
on you. Even if you’re the greatest foster parent
in the world, your child may still hate you
simply because of the situation. Give your child
avenues to work through these feelings, both
with and without you. Consider having your
child meet with a therapist that specializes in
foster care situations for them to learn healthy
coping mechanisms.

8. By helping your foster child
understand their situation, build
connections with trusted adults,
and deal with their negative
feelings, you’re setting them up
for greater happiness, whether
they end up getting adopted or
placed back with their origin
family.