The document describes a person's experience with attempting suicide by overdosing on pills. They had been having suicidal thoughts for some time and finally acted on them by cleaning their room and taking a large number of pills while chatting with a friend online. They began experiencing fear and physical symptoms as the pills took effect. They called 911 for help and were rushed to the hospital in critical condition. After several days in intensive care and 10 days in the psychiatric ward, they recovered and was discharged, gaining a new perspective on life and appreciation for the support of family and friends who helped save their life.
Back Pain Breakthrough is a back pain protocol sold online through Back Pain-Breakthrough
The protocol consists of videos, PDF guides, and other digital materials. The goal is to teach you actionable strategies for eliminating your back pain.
80% of Americans will suffer from back pain at some point in their lives. Some back pain goes away quickly. Other back pain lasts for years. People manage back pain in different ways. Some take medication. Others undergo surgery. Some listen to their doctor, while others follow alternative treatment programs.
This is a short story I wrote about 2 years ago and I still love reading it and sharing it with others. This story is about a troubled teen who faces real life problems everyday and struggles to fight them, to find out if she does, give it a read. It is very dramatic and suspenseful. I'm sure you'll enjoy it very much so.
Hi, my name is Amy Palmer.
And in the next few minutes…
I’m going to tell you about the scariest, most chilling day
of my life.
The day I cursed at my doctor…
Telling him to “Go *beep* himself”
Before running out of the room, crying my eyes out…
Wishing I’d never stepped foot in his office.
You see, since 1995, I’ve suffered from unbearable, agonizing back pain
Back Pain Breakthrough is a back pain protocol sold online through Back Pain-Breakthrough
The protocol consists of videos, PDF guides, and other digital materials. The goal is to teach you actionable strategies for eliminating your back pain.
80% of Americans will suffer from back pain at some point in their lives. Some back pain goes away quickly. Other back pain lasts for years. People manage back pain in different ways. Some take medication. Others undergo surgery. Some listen to their doctor, while others follow alternative treatment programs.
This is a short story I wrote about 2 years ago and I still love reading it and sharing it with others. This story is about a troubled teen who faces real life problems everyday and struggles to fight them, to find out if she does, give it a read. It is very dramatic and suspenseful. I'm sure you'll enjoy it very much so.
Hi, my name is Amy Palmer.
And in the next few minutes…
I’m going to tell you about the scariest, most chilling day
of my life.
The day I cursed at my doctor…
Telling him to “Go *beep* himself”
Before running out of the room, crying my eyes out…
Wishing I’d never stepped foot in his office.
You see, since 1995, I’ve suffered from unbearable, agonizing back pain
Introducing the Fat Shrinking Signal™ The Only Step-By-Step Slimming System That Turns OFF Your Hidden Hormonal Disorder and Activates Your Belly Shrinking Signal That Strips Away Ugly Fat In Just 10-Minutes So You Can Visibly SEE A Toned & Trim Body That's Firm to the Touch WITHOUT Long Grueling Workouts Or Dangerous Starvation Diets. 10 Minute Workouts That Anyone Can Fit Into Their Busy Schedule To Burn Fat And Build Leran Muscle.
Breakthrough in back pain treatment | Back pain Breakthrough Reviewskiranuikey1
If you have ever felt trapped in your body by pain, stiffness or low energy, it’s not your fault. And you do not deserve to live like this. But it can happen to absolutely anyone. And if you suffer occasional ashes or stiffness, you must know your body is at serious risk. So, pay close attention because here you will know the one surprising thing you are unknowingly doing every single day that is sabotaging your body and penetrating out with hidden fault lines. Are you seriously concerned about your health issues and want your normal, pain-free life back? If your answer is yes, Here Amy Palmer & Steve Young created an exact program for you that is called Back Pain Breakthrough.
This unique program is so much easier than you would ever expect. You will learn the most effective core strengthening moves that you can do anytime, without even breaking a sweat. You will get the precise techniques that release tense, tight muscles and relieve pain immediately. And you are going to love the surprising stretch that can relieve sciatica without surgery. You can clearly see what makes the Back Pain Breakthrough system so unique and different.
I discovered a simple movement that
gave me INSTANT relief!
And completely eliminated my low back
pain and sciatica…
In just 3 weeks!
Being pain-free has transformed every area of my life:
https://tinyurl.com/yctvl4da
ATTENTION Insomnia Sufferers: True Cause Of InsomniaVick Caulmont
A new scientific breakthrough has finally revealed the true neurological cause of your insomnia… and researchers at the University of Oxford have discovered a simple, natural technique to cure your insomnia as soon as tonight. Read more ....
Introducing the Fat Shrinking Signal™ The Only Step-By-Step Slimming System That Turns OFF Your Hidden Hormonal Disorder and Activates Your Belly Shrinking Signal That Strips Away Ugly Fat In Just 10-Minutes So You Can Visibly SEE A Toned & Trim Body That's Firm to the Touch WITHOUT Long Grueling Workouts Or Dangerous Starvation Diets. 10 Minute Workouts That Anyone Can Fit Into Their Busy Schedule To Burn Fat And Build Leran Muscle.
Breakthrough in back pain treatment | Back pain Breakthrough Reviewskiranuikey1
If you have ever felt trapped in your body by pain, stiffness or low energy, it’s not your fault. And you do not deserve to live like this. But it can happen to absolutely anyone. And if you suffer occasional ashes or stiffness, you must know your body is at serious risk. So, pay close attention because here you will know the one surprising thing you are unknowingly doing every single day that is sabotaging your body and penetrating out with hidden fault lines. Are you seriously concerned about your health issues and want your normal, pain-free life back? If your answer is yes, Here Amy Palmer & Steve Young created an exact program for you that is called Back Pain Breakthrough.
This unique program is so much easier than you would ever expect. You will learn the most effective core strengthening moves that you can do anytime, without even breaking a sweat. You will get the precise techniques that release tense, tight muscles and relieve pain immediately. And you are going to love the surprising stretch that can relieve sciatica without surgery. You can clearly see what makes the Back Pain Breakthrough system so unique and different.
I discovered a simple movement that
gave me INSTANT relief!
And completely eliminated my low back
pain and sciatica…
In just 3 weeks!
Being pain-free has transformed every area of my life:
https://tinyurl.com/yctvl4da
ATTENTION Insomnia Sufferers: True Cause Of InsomniaVick Caulmont
A new scientific breakthrough has finally revealed the true neurological cause of your insomnia… and researchers at the University of Oxford have discovered a simple, natural technique to cure your insomnia as soon as tonight. Read more ....
These simplified slides by Dr. Sidra Arshad present an overview of the non-respiratory functions of the respiratory tract.
Learning objectives:
1. Enlist the non-respiratory functions of the respiratory tract
2. Briefly explain how these functions are carried out
3. Discuss the significance of dead space
4. Differentiate between minute ventilation and alveolar ventilation
5. Describe the cough and sneeze reflexes
Study Resources:
1. Chapter 39, Guyton and Hall Textbook of Medical Physiology, 14th edition
2. Chapter 34, Ganong’s Review of Medical Physiology, 26th edition
3. Chapter 17, Human Physiology by Lauralee Sherwood, 9th edition
4. Non-respiratory functions of the lungs https://academic.oup.com/bjaed/article/13/3/98/278874
Explore natural remedies for syphilis treatment in Singapore. Discover alternative therapies, herbal remedies, and lifestyle changes that may complement conventional treatments. Learn about holistic approaches to managing syphilis symptoms and supporting overall health.
Knee anatomy and clinical tests 2024.pdfvimalpl1234
This includes all relevant anatomy and clinical tests compiled from standard textbooks, Campbell,netter etc..It is comprehensive and best suited for orthopaedicians and orthopaedic residents.
Title: Sense of Smell
Presenter: Dr. Faiza, Assistant Professor of Physiology
Qualifications:
MBBS (Best Graduate, AIMC Lahore)
FCPS Physiology
ICMT, CHPE, DHPE (STMU)
MPH (GC University, Faisalabad)
MBA (Virtual University of Pakistan)
Learning Objectives:
Describe the primary categories of smells and the concept of odor blindness.
Explain the structure and location of the olfactory membrane and mucosa, including the types and roles of cells involved in olfaction.
Describe the pathway and mechanisms of olfactory signal transmission from the olfactory receptors to the brain.
Illustrate the biochemical cascade triggered by odorant binding to olfactory receptors, including the role of G-proteins and second messengers in generating an action potential.
Identify different types of olfactory disorders such as anosmia, hyposmia, hyperosmia, and dysosmia, including their potential causes.
Key Topics:
Olfactory Genes:
3% of the human genome accounts for olfactory genes.
400 genes for odorant receptors.
Olfactory Membrane:
Located in the superior part of the nasal cavity.
Medially: Folds downward along the superior septum.
Laterally: Folds over the superior turbinate and upper surface of the middle turbinate.
Total surface area: 5-10 square centimeters.
Olfactory Mucosa:
Olfactory Cells: Bipolar nerve cells derived from the CNS (100 million), with 4-25 olfactory cilia per cell.
Sustentacular Cells: Produce mucus and maintain ionic and molecular environment.
Basal Cells: Replace worn-out olfactory cells with an average lifespan of 1-2 months.
Bowman’s Gland: Secretes mucus.
Stimulation of Olfactory Cells:
Odorant dissolves in mucus and attaches to receptors on olfactory cilia.
Involves a cascade effect through G-proteins and second messengers, leading to depolarization and action potential generation in the olfactory nerve.
Quality of a Good Odorant:
Small (3-20 Carbon atoms), volatile, water-soluble, and lipid-soluble.
Facilitated by odorant-binding proteins in mucus.
Membrane Potential and Action Potential:
Resting membrane potential: -55mV.
Action potential frequency in the olfactory nerve increases with odorant strength.
Adaptation Towards the Sense of Smell:
Rapid adaptation within the first second, with further slow adaptation.
Psychological adaptation greater than receptor adaptation, involving feedback inhibition from the central nervous system.
Primary Sensations of Smell:
Camphoraceous, Musky, Floral, Pepperminty, Ethereal, Pungent, Putrid.
Odor Detection Threshold:
Examples: Hydrogen sulfide (0.0005 ppm), Methyl-mercaptan (0.002 ppm).
Some toxic substances are odorless at lethal concentrations.
Characteristics of Smell:
Odor blindness for single substances due to lack of appropriate receptor protein.
Behavioral and emotional influences of smell.
Transmission of Olfactory Signals:
From olfactory cells to glomeruli in the olfactory bulb, involving lateral inhibition.
Primitive, less old, and new olfactory systems with different path
New Drug Discovery and Development .....NEHA GUPTA
The "New Drug Discovery and Development" process involves the identification, design, testing, and manufacturing of novel pharmaceutical compounds with the aim of introducing new and improved treatments for various medical conditions. This comprehensive endeavor encompasses various stages, including target identification, preclinical studies, clinical trials, regulatory approval, and post-market surveillance. It involves multidisciplinary collaboration among scientists, researchers, clinicians, regulatory experts, and pharmaceutical companies to bring innovative therapies to market and address unmet medical needs.
Ozempic: Preoperative Management of Patients on GLP-1 Receptor Agonists Saeid Safari
Preoperative Management of Patients on GLP-1 Receptor Agonists like Ozempic and Semiglutide
ASA GUIDELINE
NYSORA Guideline
2 Case Reports of Gastric Ultrasound
TEST BANK for Operations Management, 14th Edition by William J. Stevenson, Ve...kevinkariuki227
TEST BANK for Operations Management, 14th Edition by William J. Stevenson, Verified Chapters 1 - 19, Complete Newest Version.pdf
TEST BANK for Operations Management, 14th Edition by William J. Stevenson, Verified Chapters 1 - 19, Complete Newest Version.pdf
NVBDCP.pptx Nation vector borne disease control programSapna Thakur
NVBDCP was launched in 2003-2004 . Vector-Borne Disease: Disease that results from an infection transmitted to humans and other animals by blood-feeding arthropods, such as mosquitoes, ticks, and fleas. Examples of vector-borne diseases include Dengue fever, West Nile Virus, Lyme disease, and malaria.
Title: Sense of Taste
Presenter: Dr. Faiza, Assistant Professor of Physiology
Qualifications:
MBBS (Best Graduate, AIMC Lahore)
FCPS Physiology
ICMT, CHPE, DHPE (STMU)
MPH (GC University, Faisalabad)
MBA (Virtual University of Pakistan)
Learning Objectives:
Describe the structure and function of taste buds.
Describe the relationship between the taste threshold and taste index of common substances.
Explain the chemical basis and signal transduction of taste perception for each type of primary taste sensation.
Recognize different abnormalities of taste perception and their causes.
Key Topics:
Significance of Taste Sensation:
Differentiation between pleasant and harmful food
Influence on behavior
Selection of food based on metabolic needs
Receptors of Taste:
Taste buds on the tongue
Influence of sense of smell, texture of food, and pain stimulation (e.g., by pepper)
Primary and Secondary Taste Sensations:
Primary taste sensations: Sweet, Sour, Salty, Bitter, Umami
Chemical basis and signal transduction mechanisms for each taste
Taste Threshold and Index:
Taste threshold values for Sweet (sucrose), Salty (NaCl), Sour (HCl), and Bitter (Quinine)
Taste index relationship: Inversely proportional to taste threshold
Taste Blindness:
Inability to taste certain substances, particularly thiourea compounds
Example: Phenylthiocarbamide
Structure and Function of Taste Buds:
Composition: Epithelial cells, Sustentacular/Supporting cells, Taste cells, Basal cells
Features: Taste pores, Taste hairs/microvilli, and Taste nerve fibers
Location of Taste Buds:
Found in papillae of the tongue (Fungiform, Circumvallate, Foliate)
Also present on the palate, tonsillar pillars, epiglottis, and proximal esophagus
Mechanism of Taste Stimulation:
Interaction of taste substances with receptors on microvilli
Signal transduction pathways for Umami, Sweet, Bitter, Sour, and Salty tastes
Taste Sensitivity and Adaptation:
Decrease in sensitivity with age
Rapid adaptation of taste sensation
Role of Saliva in Taste:
Dissolution of tastants to reach receptors
Washing away the stimulus
Taste Preferences and Aversions:
Mechanisms behind taste preference and aversion
Influence of receptors and neural pathways
Impact of Sensory Nerve Damage:
Degeneration of taste buds if the sensory nerve fiber is cut
Abnormalities of Taste Detection:
Conditions: Ageusia, Hypogeusia, Dysgeusia (parageusia)
Causes: Nerve damage, neurological disorders, infections, poor oral hygiene, adverse drug effects, deficiencies, aging, tobacco use, altered neurotransmitter levels
Neurotransmitters and Taste Threshold:
Effects of serotonin (5-HT) and norepinephrine (NE) on taste sensitivity
Supertasters:
25% of the population with heightened sensitivity to taste, especially bitterness
Increased number of fungiform papillae
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IN HEALTHCARE.pdfAnujkumaranit
Artificial intelligence (AI) refers to the simulation of human intelligence processes by machines, especially computer systems. It encompasses tasks such as learning, reasoning, problem-solving, perception, and language understanding. AI technologies are revolutionizing various fields, from healthcare to finance, by enabling machines to perform tasks that typically require human intelligence.
Ethanol (CH3CH2OH), or beverage alcohol, is a two-carbon alcohol
that is rapidly distributed in the body and brain. Ethanol alters many
neurochemical systems and has rewarding and addictive properties. It
is the oldest recreational drug and likely contributes to more morbidity,
mortality, and public health costs than all illicit drugs combined. The
5th edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
(DSM-5) integrates alcohol abuse and alcohol dependence into a single
disorder called alcohol use disorder (AUD), with mild, moderate,
and severe subclassifications (American Psychiatric Association, 2013).
In the DSM-5, all types of substance abuse and dependence have been
combined into a single substance use disorder (SUD) on a continuum
from mild to severe. A diagnosis of AUD requires that at least two of
the 11 DSM-5 behaviors be present within a 12-month period (mild
AUD: 2–3 criteria; moderate AUD: 4–5 criteria; severe AUD: 6–11 criteria).
The four main behavioral effects of AUD are impaired control over
drinking, negative social consequences, risky use, and altered physiological
effects (tolerance, withdrawal). This chapter presents an overview
of the prevalence and harmful consequences of AUD in the U.S.,
the systemic nature of the disease, neurocircuitry and stages of AUD,
comorbidities, fetal alcohol spectrum disorders, genetic risk factors, and
pharmacotherapies for AUD.
New Directions in Targeted Therapeutic Approaches for Older Adults With Mantl...i3 Health
i3 Health is pleased to make the speaker slides from this activity available for use as a non-accredited self-study or teaching resource.
This slide deck presented by Dr. Kami Maddocks, Professor-Clinical in the Division of Hematology and
Associate Division Director for Ambulatory Operations
The Ohio State University Comprehensive Cancer Center, will provide insight into new directions in targeted therapeutic approaches for older adults with mantle cell lymphoma.
STATEMENT OF NEED
Mantle cell lymphoma (MCL) is a rare, aggressive B-cell non-Hodgkin lymphoma (NHL) accounting for 5% to 7% of all lymphomas. Its prognosis ranges from indolent disease that does not require treatment for years to very aggressive disease, which is associated with poor survival (Silkenstedt et al, 2021). Typically, MCL is diagnosed at advanced stage and in older patients who cannot tolerate intensive therapy (NCCN, 2022). Although recent advances have slightly increased remission rates, recurrence and relapse remain very common, leading to a median overall survival between 3 and 6 years (LLS, 2021). Though there are several effective options, progress is still needed towards establishing an accepted frontline approach for MCL (Castellino et al, 2022). Treatment selection and management of MCL are complicated by the heterogeneity of prognosis, advanced age and comorbidities of patients, and lack of an established standard approach for treatment, making it vital that clinicians be familiar with the latest research and advances in this area. In this activity chaired by Michael Wang, MD, Professor in the Department of Lymphoma & Myeloma at MD Anderson Cancer Center, expert faculty will discuss prognostic factors informing treatment, the promising results of recent trials in new therapeutic approaches, and the implications of treatment resistance in therapeutic selection for MCL.
Target Audience
Hematology/oncology fellows, attending faculty, and other health care professionals involved in the treatment of patients with mantle cell lymphoma (MCL).
Learning Objectives
1.) Identify clinical and biological prognostic factors that can guide treatment decision making for older adults with MCL
2.) Evaluate emerging data on targeted therapeutic approaches for treatment-naive and relapsed/refractory MCL and their applicability to older adults
3.) Assess mechanisms of resistance to targeted therapies for MCL and their implications for treatment selection
The prostate is an exocrine gland of the male mammalian reproductive system
It is a walnut-sized gland that forms part of the male reproductive system and is located in front of the rectum and just below the urinary bladder
Function is to store and secrete a clear, slightly alkaline fluid that constitutes 10-30% of the volume of the seminal fluid that along with the spermatozoa, constitutes semen
A healthy human prostate measures (4cm-vertical, by 3cm-horizontal, 2cm ant-post ).
It surrounds the urethra just below the urinary bladder. It has anterior, median, posterior and two lateral lobes
It’s work is regulated by androgens which are responsible for male sex characteristics
Generalised disease of the prostate due to hormonal derangement which leads to non malignant enlargement of the gland (increase in the number of epithelial cells and stromal tissue)to cause compression of the urethra leading to symptoms (LUTS
1. I wasn’t even having a bad day
It’s just that day was the day, the thought of suicide changed to if I should or shouldn’t to
when I was going to do it, and that day I felt strong enough. I had an ordinary day I
worked 10hrs, went home had dinner, and spent the evening in my room like I usually
would. Staying up late at night I knew today had to be different something had to change,
and I came to realize tonight was the night I would say goodbye. My state of mind was a
mess of course I wasn’t thinking clearly it all seems as if it was a dream and I had no
thoughts of what dying would do to my family and friends.
I first cleaned my room, I wouldn’t want to leave my room messy, and I then pulled out
all the pills I had stocked up just for this special event. 3 Bottles of Nyquil sleeping pills
60 in total, 20 Tylenol 3s, 10 Tylenol 4s, and a bunch of different muscle relaxants
around 20 in total. I had all the bottles sitting on my desk by me and I felt that it was it
and started taking them, I found it so easy, I was swallowing around 10 at a time and felt
completely confident like this was it, and this is how it was going to be. At the time I was
talking to a friend on msn
This is the end of it
[01:20] SuperDuck: im not going to work tomorrow
[01:21] Jess: why
[01:21] Jess: not
[01:21] SuperDuck: just cause
[01:22] Jess: ici c
[01:22] SuperDuck: i hope things get better for you
[01:23] Jess: ya they will give it a couple days and hopefully it will
[01:23] SuperDuck: sometimes it seems thing take forever to get better
[01:23] SuperDuck: then you just get tired of waiting
[01:23] Jess: oh i know but thatsa all i seem to be doin
[01:24] SuperDuck: yea im tired of waiting too
[01:24] Jess: i must have done something in another life to get all this shit i get
[01:26] SuperDuck: nah shit just happens to good people
[01:26] Jess: ya well i gett alot of it
[01:26] SuperDuck: you think im a good person?
[01:27] Jess: ya
[01:27] SuperDuck: if magoo comes online tomorrow and im still away
[01:27] SuperDuck: can you tell him something
[01:28] Jess: ok whats that
[01:28] SuperDuck: dont follow me, and tell him to tell james that too
[01:29] Jess: ok where where they followin you
[01:29] SuperDuck: it was just this thing we had
[01:29] Jess: oh ok
[01:30] SuperDuck: goodnight
[01:30] Jess: k night
Session Close (Jess): Thu Apr 07 01:31:06 2005
2. I started to feel really weird by this time and was surprised how fast the pills were
kicking in; I turned on Blink 182 – Adams Song, on turned my monitor off. I laid in my
bed and waited to die.
My stomach didn’t feel too upset which also surprised me, it was the beating of my heart
that at first really scared me, I could hear it at first a semi normal beating sound and I
could hear it steadily increase in speed and volume. Then my body started shaking really
bad and I was consumed in fear, thoughts started racing through my mind, “ I didn’t want
to die?, I didn’t think it was going to be like this?, What have I done?” fear had consumed
me, I was lying in my bed waiting to die, it was terrible. I turned up my music (I have
speakers right beside my bed) in hope that my mom would hear it and rush to my rescue,
at this time I couldn’t yell out and started having trouble speaking. It was like when I was
a little boy and I would wake up from a nightmare and yell out for my mom to come and
comfort me, but this time I couldn’t yell out and instead of waking up from the nightmare
I was slipping into it. I realized that the music wasn’t going to wake her, so I grabbed my
cell phone; thank God it was right beside my bed. I called 911 I told them what I had
done, my age and address, at this time I felt so alone and was so scared I didn’t want to
hang up I just wanted to hear someone’s voice, but I guess she didn’t want me to keep the
line busy or something and she told me help was on its way and to hang up. I then called
my other friend who I also work with, I got his answering machine, I left a message
saying I wasn’t going to be in tomorrow for work and wasn’t going to be for awhile.
Then I called my friend Andrew (Magoo) I got his voice mail, I left him a message
saying not to follow me –He, my friend James and I had made a suicide pack sometime
ago- by this time I could barely speak and just managed to spit those words out.
Waiting for the ambulance felt like eternity, I have never felt so alone and scared in my
life. Death was taking me and I wasn’t ready to go. As each second passed my body
shook more and more fiercely. In complete terror I grabbed the cross I had around my
neck and held on so hard, and I kept repeating “God Forgive Me”. Finally I heard the
door bell rang it sounded so distant, I heard my mom answer the door and some talk –
was hard to make out – and then I could hear her calling my name and her and a police
office ran into my room. The sheer shock of the light being turned on was so intense; my
mom jumped on my bed and grabbed my hands asking me what I had done. I couldn’t
look at her, I just couldn’t I stared at the cop, he picked up some of the pill bottles and
radioed in that a 19 year old male has overdosed. He picked up another bottle and then
another carefully reading the bottles then he yelled out my name and asked what I had
taken, I didn’t respond, he yelled it out again and this time I slipped out of reality and into
my self created nightmare.
My parents say soon after I blacked out the paramedics arrived, they took one look at me
and didn’t waste time with a stretcher and just grabbed me and carried me out, while he
was holding me I started to seizure really bad. I was in such a bad condition the
paramedics kicked my mom out of the ambulance because they didn’t want to her to see.
On the way to the hospital my lungs stopped and they had to ventilate me. Apparently
they had a great deal of difficulty getting one tube into my lungs and the other one into
my stomach and really scraped my throat up. They had 4 IVs hooked up to me and had a
3. machine to monitor and help control my blood pressure and of course the machine to
breathe for me when I finally made it to the hospital in emergency.
Well I don’t remember much while I was in intensive care, at one point I remember
hearing my uncle beside my bed telling me if and one hurts me they can kiss his ass, if
any one messes with me they can kick his ass. My uncle is a great man and while mostly
unconscious this kind of made me laugh inside. They ran every test imaginable on me
and surpisingly after 2 days of being unconscious my body appeared to have no physical
damage. I was breathing on my own and didn’t need anymore IVs. They took me out and
put me in the psychiatric ward, the doctors told me physically I appeared ok but there was
a large chance that I would never wake up.
20 minutes go by and I wake up, I instantly try and grab the cross that I was holding onto
before I blacked out, it wasn’t there. The paramedics had taken it off when I was sezuring
so it wouldn’t choke me; my sister had retrieved it for me and wore it for safe keeping.
Waking up was complete physical and emotional shock, my body ached and my mind
was a mess. My dad was sitting beside me and I asked him what day it was, he said
Friday, I had overdosed Wednesday. Then I started crying immensely and I kept saying I
want to go home.
I was kept in there for 10 days the first days were really hard, just coming to grips with
everything was overwhelming and physically my body was still really unstable and at
first every 2 hours the nurses would check my vitals. I talked to a lot of nurses, doctors
and patients and it really helped. I spent a lot of my time reading also trying to rebuild
myself, after a couple days I became really grateful for what I have in my life, and saw
this as my second chance and to value everyday I had, stop locking myself in the dark
and that its my life I make it what I want to be, and if I want to be happy I have to choose
it.
Ten days later on a cold rainy day they said I was well enough to go home. Going home
and seeing all my family and friends just got really overwhelming and I had to leave and
go for a walk. Going to sleep in my bed again was really hard too, it was a place where I
had some much comfort in, in my life and also lately so much terror, I feel asleep around
the same time I blacked out around when I od'ed. My mom must have knocked on my
door 20 times to see if I was alright through the night/morning. Everything seems so
different now; I lived so much of my life wanting to die, planning to not live long and
now i had my whole life laid out before me and it was mine to choose, mine to choose to
be happy.
The company of my friends, the meow of my cats the hug of my grandma, everything
seemed so rich and comforting now. I know my life will have many struggles ahead, but I
know I will never have to face them alone never have to resort to what I thought was my
only choice. Life gets hard it gets difficult, but its life you either live it to the fullest and
are satisfied or face the alternative or settle. I will be forever thankful for the paramedics,
doctors, nurses, police who helped me. I am mostly grateful for my family and friends I
know it was they who truly pulled me through.
4. A poem my sister wrote for me while in the hospital
Peace in this moment, peace in my mind
My heart keeps racing
My breath barely escaping
My hands won’t stop shaking
My body’s always aching
Is this how life’s supposed to be?
Lord please hear my cry
I’m scared I might die
I fear I have nothing to give
I need a reason to live!
My body is tired
Yet my brain is so wired
I’m in need of some hope
A way I can cope
Lord I cry out to you
For you know what to do
In my darkest hour,
You were my power
When I was close to death,
You gave me breath
When I could not go on,
You made me strong
Lord I'm on my knees
I’m searching for peace
I tried to let go
But you told me “No!”
Now take my hand
And help me to stand
Give me peace of mind
A purpose to find