This document contains several personal essays and reflections by Jessica Antonio about coping with the suicide of her father. In the first essay, she recounts receiving calls from her sisters saying her father was missing and later learning he had taken his own life. She describes struggling with denial, anger, depression and wishing she could call him to share her accomplishments. In subsequent pieces, she offers advice on overcoming grief through crying, talking about feelings, getting outside, taking time and celebrating life. The final essay is addressed directly to her late father.
This is a short story I wrote about 2 years ago and I still love reading it and sharing it with others. This story is about a troubled teen who faces real life problems everyday and struggles to fight them, to find out if she does, give it a read. It is very dramatic and suspenseful. I'm sure you'll enjoy it very much so.
This is a short story I wrote about 2 years ago and I still love reading it and sharing it with others. This story is about a troubled teen who faces real life problems everyday and struggles to fight them, to find out if she does, give it a read. It is very dramatic and suspenseful. I'm sure you'll enjoy it very much so.
Under the Rainbow Ranch Presentation OneSparkLaJMC
We would like to thank you for checking us out. We are starting from ground zero on this endeavor. This program that we are starting is unique in content. Though, there are many programs that serve our Veterans it has come to our attention that there are not many programs that help our children who have been abused. The Veterans will help these children who have lost all faith in adults and learn to trust them once again. This is where it helps our Veterans as well. Many Veterans come back from serving our country only to find out that what they once knew is no longer there. They lose their sense of self and many times their families. This is an unfortunate truth for our Veterans. The Veterans will 'adopt' these children as if they were their own. This is the benefit of our program. All who are involved gain something in the end. We have always been passionate about children and our military forces who have served our country. We feel it is now our time to give back to our community and hopefully help the ones who feel lost and alone. This all can be done with your contributions. Please do not forget to share this page with your friends. Also, please stop by Under the Rainbow's fan page and give it a like so that you may follow our progress of making all this a reality. Again, thank you for your support and I hope to be able to invite you to see what your contributions have done very soon.
Our Humble Regards,
Under the Rainbow Ranch
This speech was for the Convocation at Samford University in Birmingham, Alabama. The slides and vocals were presented earlier on SlideShare. This spoken word was to encourage students to be aware of their surroundings and take responsibility for their own lives.
Under the Rainbow Ranch Presentation OneSparkLaJMC
We would like to thank you for checking us out. We are starting from ground zero on this endeavor. This program that we are starting is unique in content. Though, there are many programs that serve our Veterans it has come to our attention that there are not many programs that help our children who have been abused. The Veterans will help these children who have lost all faith in adults and learn to trust them once again. This is where it helps our Veterans as well. Many Veterans come back from serving our country only to find out that what they once knew is no longer there. They lose their sense of self and many times their families. This is an unfortunate truth for our Veterans. The Veterans will 'adopt' these children as if they were their own. This is the benefit of our program. All who are involved gain something in the end. We have always been passionate about children and our military forces who have served our country. We feel it is now our time to give back to our community and hopefully help the ones who feel lost and alone. This all can be done with your contributions. Please do not forget to share this page with your friends. Also, please stop by Under the Rainbow's fan page and give it a like so that you may follow our progress of making all this a reality. Again, thank you for your support and I hope to be able to invite you to see what your contributions have done very soon.
Our Humble Regards,
Under the Rainbow Ranch
This speech was for the Convocation at Samford University in Birmingham, Alabama. The slides and vocals were presented earlier on SlideShare. This spoken word was to encourage students to be aware of their surroundings and take responsibility for their own lives.
My Family Research Paper
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Well, starting with how I met depression. At the age of 12, I lo.docxjane3dyson92312
Well, starting with how I met depression. At the age of 12, I lost my grandfather to Cancer. It was a shock for me to hear that my grandfather is gone. I still remember when my older sister came to me crying, and told me that our grandfather passed away. I pushed her and said no! You’re lying. I went to my mother and asked where my grandfather was. She hugged me and cried badly. I wasn’t prepared for at this sad news, because my grandfather was everything to me. I then ran towards his room to see him but I found nobody there. I started shouting and calling my grandfather. I used to call him daddy. I was shouting dadddyyy where are you? Daddy, daddy. But he didn’t answer me. Usually when I came back from school I shouted daddy where you are? And most of the times he was in the living room hiding behind the curtains, trying to scare me by making all sort of sounds. I knew that there’s no ghost over there, that it my grandfather but I used to overreact as if I was afraid and then he hugged me, took out sweets from his pocket and said” My doll is getting afraid, next time I’ll scold this ghost who scares my little princess. After that, we both laughed together. I used to tell him my whole day routine, everything I have done in school. All the stories and incidents that happened over there. And he used to suggest how to react in every situation. What’s good or bad for me? I was attached to my grandfather a lot. He meant the world to me. I remember when was ill. He was diagnosed with liver cancer. I was only 11 years old then, I didn’t know exactly what sort of this disease it was. My father used to take daddy to the hospital everyday, and I wasn’t allowed to go with them. Those days were worst day of my life. I used to write letters to my daddy that it was okay if I am not supposed to see you but I needed to you etc. He started chemotherapy therapy, and this was not an easy treatment to deal with. There are ups and downs. And there was a time came when doctors clearly said that he can die at any time. After listening to this life-ending sentence, my father cried badly. He used to spend his most of the time with daddy. One day, when I was back from school, my father came and said daddy is calling you. I was like oh wow now I can meet him after a week. And I rushed towards his room. As I entered he was lying on his bed, for an instance I thought that he is someone else. He was not looking like my daddy. He became too weak. And then I asked my father he is not my daddy. Where he is? My father didn’t replied but left the room while crying. I was staring at my daddy. And when he called me “my little princess come here” I recognized his voice. I ran towards him and asked what had happened to you? He said nothing I am fine. But you know one day everybody has to leave this planet. You have to make a promise to me that you will take a lot of care of your parents. You will become my brave girl. You will always consider what I taught to you. At that moment .
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2. Steven Robert Antonio
He was the son of Robert and Nancy
Antonio and the brother of Kim, Karla, and
Scott Antonio. They lived in Connecticut.
He was mischievous and rebellious in his
youth. He moved to Florida to work in
transportation, and he met my mother.
They married in 1989, and they had their
first daughter in 1990. Within 3 more
years, they had 2 more girls. He loved to
take his girls camping and teach them how
to water ski. He loved being involved with
their school and helping in any way that
he could. He had many friends because of
his humorous personality, but he also had
quite a temper. He missed his Northern
roots and moved his family to North
Carolina. As the years went by, he fell out
of love and divorced his wife. He then
moved to Asheville in an apartment
downtown. He lived the single life, and he
spent time with his girls every so often. He
would travel a lot and spend time with
friends as well. He loved going to his
parents’ cabin in Maine and having his
girls there as well. He had a passion for
the wilderness and was always outdoors.
He lived his life to make others happy, and
he will be missed by many.
3.
4.
5. A New Meaning of Pain
I remember that day so vividly. My
boyfriend and I were traveling to Ohio to
visit his family for spring break. We
were only a few hours away, driving
through the green hills of West Virginia,
when I got a worried call from my
younger sister, “Jessi, Dad is missing.”
“What do you mean he is missing?” I
asked. “No one knows where he is and
we can’t get a hold of him,” stated my
sister. “Well I’m sure he just went
camping or hiking. He always goes off
on his own in the wilderness,” I said. I
got off the phone with my mind at ease. I
knew my dad, and I was sure he was
fine, but I could not have been more
mistaken. A little while later I got
another call from my older sister. Her
voice was weak and filled with fear,
“Something bad has happened. You need
to come home right now.” “Daniella, I
can’t come home we are almost there.
What are you talking about?” I asked.
“Mom is going to call you soon, but
come home.” She told me.
6. A New Meaning of Pain
When I got off the phone, I felt a
deep heaviness on my chest. Time
seemed to stop until I got the next call.
My mom told me that they had found my
dad asphyxiated in his car. He had killed
himself. They had found him on that
Wednesday, but they thought he had died
on Sunday. I had so many questions, but
she could not answer them for me. The
rest of the trip was filled with the sound
of my sobs and an endlessly runny nose.
I kept re-thinking the last time I talked to
my dad. We did not have the best
relationship, but we usually talked once
a week. He had called me on Friday,
right before I went to a concert for my
birthday. The conversation was normal
but brief because he wanted me to have
fun with my friends, but when I think
back to it now, I can hear the sadness in
his voice. Why didn’t I ask him if he was
okay? How I wish I could go back in
time. Tuesday was my birthday, and I did
not hear from him. I did not think much
of it because my dad was never good at
remembering birthdays. Now I know
why he did not call.
7. A New Meaning of Pain
The next months were a struggle. I felt
myself going through some of the stages of
grief: denial, anger, depression. It did not
feel real. You hear about people committing
suicide, but it is not supposed to happen to
you. I couldn’t grasp the fact that he was
really gone. There would be days when I
wanted to just pick up the phone and call
him. Even now when I accomplish
something great, I wish I could call him just
to hear how proud of me he would be. I
would also be filled with rage. How could
he do this to us? How could he willingly
choose to leave us? I can’t forgive him for
what he did. He left us nothing but a note
saying he was sorry. We have no
explanation or reason why, and I think this
is why it is so hard to be at peace. I did not
know how to be happy. I would lie in bed all
day, and I would listen to the songs that
reminded me of him. I found myself crying
at every memory that reminded me of him
or when I saw girls spending time with their
fathers. I was even jealous of people I knew
who had lost their fathers to sickness or
accidents because at least their fathers did
not choose their fate. Mine did.
8. A New Meaning of
Pain
I have never before known this
kind of pain. This pain is not
something that goes away. It is always
there, waiting to make me crumble. I
try to push it away by focusing on
everything else around me, but it
reappears without warning as all the
memories come rushing back. It has
taken part of me, and I can’t seem to
remember who I was before it
appeared. The happiness that I used to
know is hiding in the darkness. All I
can do is keep pushing forward and
keep looking for a way to find
closure, a way to find myself.
9. 5 Steps to Overcome
a Death
1. Cry: Believe it or not, crying
does help. It gets out all of
the bottled up emotions
and pain. Cry as much as
you can. I would always cry
whenever I was alone, and
just getting those tears out
made me feel so much
better.
10. 5 Steps to Overcome
a Death
2. Talk about it: I learned that
talking about your feelings
is very helpful in healing.
Whether it is talking to a
friend, yourself, or writing it
down, physically
manifesting those thoughts
are key. It will also clear
your mind and put you at
ease.
11. 5 Steps to Overcome
a Death
3. Get up and out: Getting
out of bed and out of the
house is the best way to
heal. I learned this the hard
way. I wanted to stay in bed
all day and feel sorry for
myself, but I felt so much
better when I went out
with friends or spent time
outside. The world has a
way of healing your pain.
12. 5 Steps to Overcome
a Death
4. Take your time: Grieving is
a process, and to me it is a
never-ending one. There is
not a set amount of time
allotted for grieving, so
don’t rush it. Each of us
heals in our own way in our
own time.
13. 5 Steps to Overcome
a Death
5. Celebrate life: Although
being sad is part of death,
happiness should be too.
Remember the good times
and cherish the moments
you spent with the one you
lost. Be thankful for having
that person in your life and
all the smiles they brought
you.
15. Life
We have been given this beautiful
gift. This gift called life. We are only
given one, and we never know how
much time we have to use it. What I
have learned is to not take a single day
for granted. Cherish the moments you
have, and do not forget them. Tell the
people you care about how you feel
because you might not get a chance to
tomorrow. Love with all your power.
Make other people happy. Support a
cause. Do not be afraid to chase your
dreams, and do not be afraid to fail.
Failing is only what happens when you
don’t try. Reconnect with your faith.
Travel the world, and learn new
things. Fall in love as much as possible.
This life is all we have, so don’t take it
for granted.
17. About the Author
I am Jessica Antonio. I am a Senior at UNC
Charlotte, and soon I will be an elementary school
teacher. I love playing soccer and coaching. I am a
Spanish minor, and I love traveling all over the
world and learning about different cultures.
I did this project in order to gain closure and
express my feelings over the death of my father. It
is dedicated to him. The intended audience is my
family to help them find peace.