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Rachael Holmes
Professor Bolton
January 30, 2012
English 101
Reality’s Unspoken Events
As I sat back and observed my surroundings, I started to notice what was actually
occurring before my eyes. The nights were getting shorter sitting in the cold waiting room, and the
prayers were getting longer in our worrying minds. My mind wandered to the past.
I remembered the good old days when I was my grandfather’s “little black girl” as he liked
to say it, and I remember that scornful look I used to give him when he called me that name. I
remember my mother always would say to my grandfather, “Daddy, Rachael does not like that
name.” I always smile when I think of the bond we held; oddly,that bond was never spoken of.
After giving my grandfather a hug, I would plop down with excitement on my grandparents’ huge
bed, a smile always spread across his wrinkly face. It was as if I could smell the sweet peppermint
candy through the jar. I can still hear the wrappers crinkling and us crunching down on the
delicious treat. After we would finish, I would always say, “I love you, Granddaddy.”Then reality
came back into existence, and I thought of his heart machine as something I could not rely on, an
interference of nature, and a disappointment to reality.
The only event that repeatedly played through my head was his heart machine, the machine
that kept his joyous life on an old string. I became reliant on that machine to keep him alive, and I
let the fear of losing him run away. I just knew he would make it out okay and life would go on as
I knewit, but it didn’t.
There were many times when we would go back and forth to the hospital, and I would have

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no worries because I had faith in God and that machine. All of my family members would come
out the emergency room smiling with happiness instead of crying with sorrow. Then, out of
nowhere, the machine failed him, and in the blink of an eye.He was snatched from my sight just
that quickly.
I truly wished I would be able to say, “I love you, Granddaddy,” just one last time.
Although I knew he couldn’t hear me, I said it anyway I spoke to his lifeless body, and I spoke
through my pain saying “I love you Granddaddy.” I was not prepared for him to leave me and I just
clung to his body, looking up, hoping he would wake up and smile. Then my aunt gently grabbed
me saying, “Come on Rachael”, and we walked out of the dark room. Then I pictured God telling
him, “Well done my child, well done.” I should not have relied on what I thought would help,
because it seemed impossibleand his heart machine failed on him at the last minute.
Why did it have to interfere with the basics of life and take away who I truly needed? That
machine was supposed to help the breath flow through the body. The phone call my cousin
received on that wet rainy day made my mood even gloomier. I remember like it was yesterday we
were driving back to the hospital for a visit and that’s when the phone rang. She sounded so calm
saying, “Ok, I’m on my way” but I knew everything would not be ok, and then she turned to me
with an unsure look whispering, “Granddaddy just died”. She could not speak up because her
daughter and nephew were in the back seat, not aware of the inaudible news. All I could do was
reflect back on the saying, “Every time it rains someone dies.” Ironically someone had just told
me that a week before, but I didn’t pay it any attention. Then I thought of the unknown machine
they had his body connected to and was literally lost for words.
His heart machine took his life and made it unbearable and soon nature took its course. My
first experience even noticing the machine did not seem so hard to take in. There was a time when

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breath was in his body and he just laid there not saying anything but I knew he was alive. Then I
remember my last encounter with the machine; it was after being pushed out the
room…unfortunately. As I was assisted to put on gloves and a disposable lab gown in order to get
my last view of my only grandfather, I just held my tears in. All I could see was a variety of tubes
in and out of his body. I stared it down wondering why he needed a machine’s support for his own
given life. It did not make any sense to me and I wanted answers, I hated seeing him in so much
pain. I can remember hearing him moan, saying “Hm…,” I wanted to be able to help and to know
what was wrong but there was no hope.
I did not want to have to accept the bad news; I just wanted to wake up from a horrible
dream. I wanted to go back to the time when he walked up to me not rolled in a wheelchair. I
wanted to hear him say my mother’s name one more time, “Margie” for some reason hearing him
say that made me smile. In that moment I had to realize that what I wanted did not matter what
mattered was that he was not in anymore pain. My heart was sustained, and all I could do was
endure the waterfalls because I could no longer be strong. I took in what had occurred,
contemplated the events that had taken place, and just walked away. His heart was weak, the
machine then became his heart, and it failed on him in his time of need. Technology that day truly
made me see a different perspective of this event.
In the beginning, of course I was devastated, but the way I saw things drastically changed.
Even though this was a hurtful run in with technology, I still appreciate the effort it gave for the life
of a human being. It did not hurt me physically, but it did affect me mentally and emotionally. It
made me want to strive to do better in terms of creating a better machine. That is why I chose the
pathway to helping people through nursing. I know he would be proud and happy because of my
success.