1) When the narrator's grandfather died, they initially went through denial and did not accept it as true. They refused to believe reports of his death and isolated themselves from others. 2) After confirming his death, the narrator felt anger and frustration, questioning why it happened and blaming others. They lashed out physically and emotionally. 3) The narrator then bargained with God, arguing why their grandfather had to die and promising to do good things if God changed the situation. 4) The narrator fell into a depression, fearing the future and responsibilities without their grandfather's support and guidance. The whole family struggled with the loss. 5) Over time, with family

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Jonathan cooper
Human growth and development
3/20/2011
WC-1405
The stages of grief
Denial stage
It is almost unimaginable that bad news can come to human beings. When my
grandfather died I didnt accept. It was shock, disbelief and the feeling that my grandfather had
died. Something which was not near my thoughts and could not be imagined that it had
happened. I had talked to him before going to school in the morning. When my teacher came to
inform me about it I thought he was joking. I told him that he was mistaken. While we went out
of class he insisted that my parents were in the office. At that time I Still I told him my parents
had gone to work and they always return in the evening.
Before reaching the office I was not with the teacher. I took a different direction to be left
alone and think about it. I wanted to be alone and not be interrupted by any noise. It took me
twenty minutes to meet my parents in the office. I could not accept it from any one. The brief
information I had confused my thinking and I could no control my talking (Sleith 1). Denial
helped me not to feel the pain while I was in school although it just postponed it to other place.
Before I could hear anything from my parents I signalled them to keep quite. Since I did
not want any discussion over the issue I just went a head of them to the bus station. The isolation
was meant to calm my minds and lie to it that all was fine. Was it true? That was the question

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lingering in my minds. Before boarding a bus I told mum I will use a different bus from the one
they were using. My dad disagreed with me over that and insisted in using one bus. My decisions
affected them as to why I wanted to use a different bus. When we arrived at the bus stop I almost
refused to get out of the bus since I was getting near the truth.
Anger stage
After arrival at home and confirming that it was true. In my own understanding that
grandfather had died everything erupted to all directions. My frustrations became emotional and
physical. The question of where was I when it happened. There was assumption in my mind that
it was my fault. If I were there it could not have happened. My sadness and pity over my
grandfathers’ death was uncontrollable. The guilt was in me for not taking care if my beloved
grandfather.
I questioned my dad where he was when it occurred and why he could not control. We
almost got into a fight with our gardener who used to spent time with him when all of us were
away. My room became like a dumpsite since everything in was dismantled. Due to my
frustrations as to why it happened while some people were at home.
I could not understand their role in protecting the family members. The guilt in me was
that how comes I never told grandfather his importance in our lives. If grandfather had known
his value in others he would not have died. Having talked to him in the morning over the bushy
compound which I was to clean over the weekend, I felt that his wish was not fulfilled.
Behind my mind I knew this death could be stopped the people who were around
(Almeida 75). It was frustrating by making everyone feel the guilt I was feeling. My mind was
just furious with the environment and everyone in it. Crying only helped me to release anger.

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Everything I did was emotional and it did not please my friends to extend they felt
uncomfortable around me.
Bargaining stage
All my silent questions were directed to God as to how and why he chose my grand
father. I argued in my mind with God why grandfather when we had a lot of bad people in the
world (Lindh 87). I even gave God a choice to choose from any of our family members but not
grandfather. It was an argument with God that I even told him I will be a good grown up when
he changes the situation. I promised to do all I will be asked to do but if the situation was to be
changed.
I promised to be a leader of the Sunday school if God could change it. Bargaining with
God was the only option because he is in charge of everything that happens under the sun. He
had the powers to overturn nature so there was no alternative for it. I concluded that God was not
my friend and he was cause of all that since we could not strike a deal. I had accepted to remain
a friend of God only if he could raise my grandfather. After many hours of silent bargain I
decided not to argue with God.
Depression stage
Imaginations on how am going to live without grandfather was always crossing my
minds. There was a lot of fear in me when I finally accepted that grandfather was dead. There
was a lot of uncertainty on who was to carry the responsibilities which my grandpa had. The
protection and the guidance that he used to provide was all gone and no replacement. When I

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looked around the family it was overloaded by the bad news. Everyone was unable to absorb the
news and no one had the interest of preparing even a light meal for us. The issue of comforting
one another started crossing my minds.
When I went to check on dad he was just having a chat with his friends. That is when I
realised that conversation helped him absorb the tragedy than me who had locked myself up in
my room. This time I just wanted to hang out with any one who will keep me busy. The question
of responsibilities rose again on how my parents will unite the family like grandfather did (Corr
223).
I knew many challenges laid a head of us as a family. Although all was not determinable
by then the gap was too big to be ignored. Our future was in dilemma according to me. Being at
a tender age I could not reflect that life must go on whatever the situation. Everybody in the
family was a little bit confused. It took the family some days before any one could sense that we
had not paid electricity and water bills. Many things went wrong for a while before life came
back to normal. Depression caused some sicknesses in the family especially my sister who was
to travel with grandfather in New York to celebrate her birthday that month. Medications and
guidance helped her to recover although slowly.
Acceptance stage
Depression was solved by a supportive and accepting environment offered by the family.
Guidance from the psychologists helped as overcome depression very fast. Recovery took
different period depending on the individuals understanding. Our pastor and church elders could
come and have discussion on life after death and prayed to us constantly. This helped us recover
spiritually and understand God’s action. They organized for us a special summon dedicated to

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my grandfather’s contribution to the church. These religious activities gave us morale to tackle
life in the right direction and not as a frustration.
After two months everyone had accepted the loss of grandfather. Everything was in place
for life to go on. Alternatives were made in adjusting the programs and my grandfather’s duties
were distributed among the family members. We reflected on our life as a family and tried to
adjust to suit everyone (Giuggio 223). My parents reduced their hours of work to attend to family
issues. My parents tried to their level best to step in grandfather’s shoe. They made home a
comfort zone to everyone.
All the family members were assigned with a doctor just in case he felt disappointed to
go for guidance and counselling any time. We were advised to have healthy meals to regain the
lost energy. With enough self care among the family it helped to create a strong relationship.
Every body was there for one another in all situations and ready to make a sacrifice for each
other. I resumed school and all seemed normal without backward reflection on my grandfather’s
death. Life came back to normal after few months.

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Work Cited
Almeida Rochelle. The Politics Of Mourning: Grief Management In Cross-cultural Fiction.
Cranbury: Fairleigh Dickson University Press. 2004. Print.
Corr Charles. Clyde Nabe. Donna Corr. Death and Dying, Life and Living. New York: Cengage
Learning. 2008. Print.
Lindh Wilburta, Marilyn Pooler, Carol Tamparo, Barbara. Delmar's Comprehensive Medical
Assisting: Administrative and Clinical competency. New York: Cengage Learning. 2009.
Print.
Giuggio Lucia Carvalho. Jame Stewart. The Everything Health Guide to Living with Breast
Cancer: An Accessible and Comprehensive Resource For Women .London: Everything
Books.2009. Print.
Eric Sleith, III.Embracing & Transcending Death, Loss, & Grief. Lincoln: iUniverse. 2004.
Print.