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Preventing Behavior
Problems
IT’S ALL IN THE ATTITUDE!
Introduction
Attitude
 Focus on the Positive
Attitude
 The Child Can Do Better
Attitude
 Parents are Doing the Best They Can under Difficult
Circumstances
Action
 Have a Positive Classroom
Action
 Make Expectations Clear and Reasonable
Action
 Make sure the children feel important and respected
Action
 Provide for Success
Action
 Meet Individual Needs
Action
 Actively Teach and Promote Cooperation
Action
 Use Your Voice Effectively
Reaction
 Mistakes are Okay
Reaction
 Validate Feelings
Reaction
 Help Children Calm Themselves
Reaction
 Teach the Correct Behavior
Reaction
 Redirect Behaviors
Reaction
 Logical Consequences
Reaction
 Stay Calm Yourself
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Editor's Notes

  1. Pre-Test Welcome to this online session, entitled Preventing Behavior Problems: It’s All in the Attitude!
  2. If you have many children with challenging behaviors, or seem to be dealing constantly with such behaviors, chances are that there is a problem with your “program”, not with the children. You will probably need to change aspects of your program; that is, the physical environment of the classroom, your schedule and curriculum, and your own attitudes, actions, and reactions, These are prevention strategies (or indirect guidance), which are your most powerful tools for changing challenging behaviors. Once you have made these changes, children who come into your class with intense emotional needs that they usually express through negative behaviors, will have almost no need to do so. This session will focus on those attitudes, actions, and reactions. Poll
  3. Feel positively toward the child with behavior problems. View him as a valuable gift, as he will provide you with an opportunity to learn a great deal. You may learn about the causes of behavior problems, new approaches to helping, the nature of your own biases, new parenting skills, and the availability of community agencies and resources. He will provide you with a chance to help turn a life around for the better. A child with challenging behaviors also can help you improve your program. A highly active child may be the first (or the only one) to let you know that your activity is boring. A child who cries often can tell you that you may not have enough inviting things to do (he probably has too much time to think about his unhappiness). Although you may feel that this challenging child has come into your life just to make you miserable, he has not. He is acting the best and only way he knows how. Understanding the challenging child will help you feel positive, empathetic, and loving toward him, which may be the single most important thing you can do to reduce the behaviors.
  4. Believe that you can help the child improve and be happier, although in some extreme cases years of treatment by a professional counselor, a special education program, or intervention by a social service agency may be necessary. Even if you are the person who only starts the process, you will have done something important. Don’t be tempted to pass a problem off as a phase. Although it might actually be a phase, such as biting, you can still help improve the behavior. Don’t shrug off the problem as being due to the child’s terrible parents, over whom you have no control. Many children learn to behave positively at school while acting differently at home. They come to see themselves as worthwhile because of a loving teacher. Don’t ignore the problem hoping that it will go away, that the child will move, or that nine months will pass quickly. Too many children get passed on this way and never get the help they need. Often they grow up to be troubled teens and adults who cause serious problems for society. Changing problem behaviors when the child is young is much easier than waiting until later. Believe in the child and your own ability to help him.
  5. Parenting today is a great challenge, even for families with access to many resources and money to be able to spend quality time with their children. However, these families are very rare. For most parents, life is very stressful and there is little support for parents and children from society at large. All children need many positive interactions with caring, responsive adults every day to grow up mentally healthy. The reality of life today makes this difficult, which results in many children with emotional needs. Almost every parent wants to be good to her children and wants her children to be capable, well liked, and happy. However, every parent struggles with being relaxed enough and having the time, knowledge, and skills to make this happen. As a teacher, it is important not to blame parents, but to help them in their very difficult task. Just having an empathetic attitude toward parents, especially those struggling most, will go a long way toward creating positive relations and developing a partnership for the benefit of the child.
  6. Make many more positive statements, and make them more energetically, than admonishments or corrections. Catch children doing well, and let them know that they are doing well. For children with intense emotional needs, catch them just “being” and let them know they are cared about. At the same time, give them useful, specific information about their behavior, without judging their characters. “Good boy” is a judgment. Saying, “You cleaned up the blocks so quickly and thoroughly; it makes our class look neat and it will be easy to find all the blocks tomorrow” is helpful. Tell them often how much you enjoy them, but only if you can be honest about this sentiment: “I love seeing each of your sweet faces every morning. You are so much fun to be with; thank you for sharing part of your day with me.”
  7. Establish few rules and enforce them consistently. One important rule to have is the following: “Use your body and words without hurting others inside or outside their bodies.” To make this rule work, you must deal with behaviors that violate it almost every time they happen. If a child breaks the rule ten times and is “called” on it only one of the times, the child will only be confused and angry and not likely to follow it. After a rule has been established well enough that the behavior is rarely seen, add a new, more sophisticated one if necessary. For example: “Ask if it is okay before you hug someone” or “You can be angry without being mean to others.” Remind children of the rules ahead of time: “Please walk when we get inside the room.” Let your expectations be known immediately before the event. Remember that young children have short memories and are primarily interested in the here and now: “After you hang up your coat, please sit on the circle.” State all rules and expectations positively because young children behave better when they know what to do. Instead of saying, “Don’t yell,” say, “Please use a quiet voice.” Instead of saying, “Don’t run,” say “Please walk.”
  8. Give all the children many chances to do jobs vital to the running of the classroom. Create a job chart where children’s names are displayed next to the names and pictures of their jobs. Rotate the names daily. Examples of jobs are listed in the box on this page. Create as many jobs as possible. If possible, have one job for each child every day. Give children many chances to make real decisions such as what song to sing, what book to listen to, or what movement game to play. If necessary, give a choice between two or three songs, books, or games, as some choices may not be acceptable to you. Ask an individual child to make the choice, as opposed to the whole group, if you do not want to take the time to vote or decide by consensus. Make this the task of the “Teacher” on the job chart. You may want to have several “Teachers”, “Environmentalists”, and other jobs. Make sure that the children have easy access to sponges and soapy water to clean up messes after themselves, easy ways to put toys where they belong when the children are finished playing, and simple methods to dress and take care of themselves.. Even a two-year old can put her own coat on by laying it flat on the ground, front of the coat facing up, standing behind the top of the coat, purring her arms in the sleeves, and flipping it over her head. Encourage the children to help each other with buttoning, zipping jackets, putting on mittens, and so on. Remember that anything you can do to give children responsibility over themselves or each other, with little or no adult assistance, will make children feel powerful and will reduce behavior problems that stem from feelings of insecurity and powerlessness.
  9. Give each and every child many opportunities to be and feel successful and challenged. Individualize games and activities. For example, ask a child who does not yet name colors to match colors during a color/shape lotto game; ask a child who can name colors to find the color on his card; ask a child who can name colors and shapes to find the square that has both attributes. When all play together, the less able or the younger children learn from the more able or the older ones. To make this work, look at the card you are holding. If the child can name colors and shapes has a picture that matches it, ask, “Who has a red triangle?” without showing him the card. If the child who can name colors but not the shapes has the picture, ask, “Who has a red shape with three sides?” (Draw a triangle if she can’t get the shape.) if the child who can match colors has the picture, hold up the card for him to see and ask, “Who has this card?” (He can then match it.) Once children can be successful with little effort, challenge them with a slightly harder task. Another way to ensure feelings of success is to provide sand and water play daily. Have fun equipment in each, such as plastic bottles, funnels, tubing, spoons, and measuring cups. Give children plenty of time to play. These activities are satisfying because children cannot fail at them; there is no right way or wrong way to do it. The smoothness, softness, and texture of sand and water are very soothing to young children. They help comfort and relax them. Keep a small broom and large dustpan (for sand) and large sponges and a bucket (for water) nearby so children can clean up after themselves. In addition, provide open-ended art and building materials daily, including blocks with accessories, playdough with many plastic or wooden tools, and drawing materials with different kinds of paper and pens.
  10. Children who have intense emotional needs often come into your classroom in the morning nearly or fully depleted of positive feelings about themselves and in need of attention. Be proactive. As soon as such a child comes in the door (if not before) give him a great deal of attention and affection. Do not wait for him to express his needs, as it is likely to be expressed inappropriately. To use a car metaphor, if they come with their “tanks” nearly or completely on empty, fill them up before they run out and stall. A child who needs extra attention and asks for it in a positive way should get extra attention from you. If a child is having a rough day because his mother went out of town, permit him to spend more time on your lap than other children do. Let him know that you are doing this today because you know he feels sad, but that tomorrow you will do it less. Let the other children know you would do this for them if they were sad. Be aware that you do not have to provide the same kind of attention for the other children. Being fair with young children means meeting their individual needs, not treating every child exactly the same. Do not neglect any child’s needs. However, be aware that a child who demands an unreasonable amount of attention cannot be accommodated because you will be depriving other children of their needs. This is a hard balancing act. You might need help from another teacher or your director to determine what is an unreasonable need for attention. In classrooms where children know they will get their share of attention, especially when they need it most, competition for attention by acting out is greatly reduced.
  11. In the absence of a strong set of cooperation skills, aggression and competitiveness in children flourish. Set the following classroom rule: “Ask three before you ask me.” This requires children to learn to seek help from and give assistance to their classmates. Some children will need your help initially to learn how to ask for help in a way that will get a positive response and to give help without doing everything for the other child. Use cooperative games often. “Islands” is an example of one. Lay down about ten rug squares or pieces of cardboard. Explain to the children that the object of the game is for everyone to help each other get on the islands (rug squares) quickly and be safe. When the music plays, invites the children to “swim” (walk) all around the islands, but when it stops tell them that they must get out of the water and onto an island quickly or a fish will nibble their toes. Before you start the music again, remove two or three rug squares. Keep repeating the game until only one square is left. This game has no winners and losers, but it offers a challenge and a great deal of fun. Modify existing games and equipment to make them more cooperative. For example, play “Farmer in the Dell” with two farmers and two of each character. Add more characters if needed so that everyone can be in the circle by the end. Here the “cheeses” stand in the middle at the end and invite everyone else to make a circle around them. Sing “The cheese has lots of friends,” instead of “The cheese stands alone,” and have the “Cheeses” move around the circle shaking everyone’s hands. Promote cooperation when situations arise in the classroom. Ask a child to help another child who has broken a class rule: “Everett, please tell Amelia the rule about running in the class and give her ideas about how to remember it.” Set up dramatic play situation involving exciting adventures where all children work together against a shared problem. Fire fighting, rescue squad activities, catching a big fish, and working in a hospital are some examples. To avoid chaotic or sill play, provide many safe materials and guide the action at first, if necessary.
  12. All teachers with good control of their classrooms have mastered the art of voice control. If you speak in a moderate voice most of the time, the very few times that you do raise your voice slightly or lower it, you will immediately have a big impact on the children. Bring the noise level down in a room by starting our with a loud voice and by gradually bringing your voice down in volume as you speak. Vary your voice greatly. Get louder and faster when children start losing attention; use a deep, slow voice when making an important point; and talk softly to set a quiet, peaceful tone. Remember that voice variety keeps children from being bored and tuning you our, which can lead to misbehaviors. Use a tone and words that convey respect for children. You can check this by asking yourself if this is how you would talk to an adult friend. Expressions like “Use an indoor voice” or “You need to clean up now” are contrived and patronizing, while “Please speak quietly” and “Please pick up the toy” are more respectful. The use of an exaggerated, overly sweet tone of voice condescends to children. If you show respect for children, they will respect you. Mutual respect will eliminate many potential discipline problems.
  13. Treat mistakes and errors children make as a natural part of their learning. If a child drops a container of milk, calmly say, “It’s all right. You can get the sponge and wipe it up. I’ll help you if you need help.” Later, ask him, “What can you do the next time to avoid a spill?” Offer a few suggestions if he has no ideas. Tell the children about mistakes you make (such as scheduling a field trip to the zoo on the day it is closed), so they will know that adults still learn from their mistakes. Tell them what you did to correct the mistake or to try to make sure it will not happen again. Strive for the ideal of a supportive classroom in which all the children will thrive. Remove barriers that prevent children from being successful. A child who has a challenging time sitting still during an art project can stand and work on it or lay on a soft pillow and work on it, as long as safety precautions are taken. Perhaps he can work on a different activity. Encourage children to think of these solutions themselves. Be flexible, avoid arbitrary rules, and focus on helping, not fixing, children. When you create a classroom atmosphere where failing is difficult, even very discouraged children can feel good about themselves. Once children feel competent, challenge and encourage them to take risks. When children feel both challenged and secure, they will be motivated, engaged, and display few behavior problems.
  14. When a child acts inappropriately—defiant or aggressive, for example—first respond by letting the child know that his feelings are acceptable. Say something such as: “I can see that you are angry and frustrated. It’s okay to be angry here.” Then move on to talking about the behavior itself: “I can’t let you hurt yourself or others. This is a safe classroom. Let’s figure out what you can do with your anger instead.” This lets the child know that you are on his side and that you care about him and his needs. It will make it much more likely that he will cooperate with you in changing the behaviors.
  15. In many situations, children are to upset to be reasoned with and to be helped to change behaviors. First they need to be calmer. Different children need different strategies to do this. Help each child figure out which calming strategy will work best and have a variety of strategies available.. These include looking at a book, drawing a picture, listening to music or a story, being held, being stroked, hugging a pillow or toy animal, crying for awhile, and more, once you and the child know the most effective calming strategy, use it right away each time there is a need.
  16. If a child grabs a toy, hits another child, crashes his trike into another’s, or does some similar problematic behavior, assume that the child does not know the correct behavior. Continue to tell and show the child the appropriate behavior, even if you have done this several times. Young children need repetition to learn, and they do not carry over information from one situation to another very easily. A child may know not to crash his trike into another trike but may not realize that crashing his trike into the fence is not okay. At the same time that you remind him of the rules (keep yourself and others safe) and use child choice (if it happens again you will have to choose another activity), continue to teach correct behavior: “Ride the trike only on the track and stop before you hit something. I’ll watch you in case you need some help. Teach a child words he can use and strategies to get a turn, rather than grabbing a toy, such as trading or setting a timer. Help him to generate ideas for getting what he wants if he has trouble thinking of any on his own. Make yourself available if additional help is needed. Give only as much assistance as is necessary so that the children work out solutions on their own.
  17. Redirecting behaviors means helping a child follow her impulse or need, but in an acceptable way. For example, if a child is angry with another child she may not hit her, but she can express her anger in words or work with clay to release her feelings. A child who starts throwing blocks must be stopped, but she can be given a soft ball to throw instead. The key to successful redirection is to stay calm and find an activity that is very similar to the one the child is doing, but safe or socially acceptable. If you express anger or use redirection as punishment, your attempts to change behavior will not work. When done well, redirection lets children know that their feelings are valid and that they can act on their feelings. It teaches them that they can make choices as to how to act on their feelings in acceptable ways.
  18. Logical consequences are responses to problematic behaviors in which the natural result of doing the behavior is allowed to occur. If a child misuses a piece of equipment, the logical consequence is that she will help fix it, if possible, and then not get to use that piece of equipment for a period of time. The logical consequence of tripping another child is to help the hurt child get up and to get a bandage for her. The key to making logical consequences successful is to have the consequence be immediate (not going outside tomorrow, because of misbehaving today, will not work for young children) and to make the consequence relate directly to the misbehavior. Always tell the child she is free to return to any activity when she feels ready to act correctly. Remember: logical consequences must never be punishment or retribution. Logical consequences should be used only as a last resort when repeated attempts at teaching correct behaviors or redirection are not working well. Before using any logical consequences, tell the child what the consequences will be the next time she misbehaves in the same way. She must know these ahead of time so that she has an opportunity to work on avoiding them. Continue to teach correct behaviors and use redirection while also using logical consequences.
  19. Always react calmly to negative behaviors. Many young children with challenging behaviors are used to getting a big response from adults as a result of their behaviors. They thrive on the attention, excitement, anger, and chaos they can create. If they see that you will react the same way, you will experience difficulty getting them to change their behaviors. If they see you are not reacting strongly, they might step up the behaviors at first (to make sure you have seen them), but eventually they will give them up. This will happen faster when you also use all the strategies discussed above. Post-Test