This document discusses negative self-talk and provides strategies for changing it to positive self-talk. It notes that people have around 65,000 thoughts per day, with 65% being negative. There are 4 main types of negative self-talk: worrying, feeling like a victim, being a perfectionist, and constantly criticizing oneself. Left unchecked, negative self-talk can become a habit that leads to anxiety, frustration, depression and potential illness by creating negative emotions and energy. The document recommends catching negative thoughts and replacing them with positive phrases, as well as coming up with stock positive phrases to use. It emphasizes that changing self-talk takes discipline but can be learned with practice.
3. “…we have at least 65,000 thoughts a day
and sixty-five percent of them are
negative.”
Rethhinkingyourwork.com
4. 4 Types of Negative Self-Talk
Worrying
Worry is usually a lot of
trouble that never
happens.
Starts with “What if…”
Promotes anxiety
Your body will respond
with creating the
symptoms associated with
fear and constant stress –
you may end up really
physically ill!
Feeling Like a Victim
Creates anxiety
Encourages thinking that
you have no control over
your circumstances –
you’re “jinxed”
Moaning, complaining,
blaming everyone else
“Nobody ever appreciates
me, I do all the work
around here, and what
thanks do I get?”
5. 4 Types of Negative Self-Talk
Being a Perfectionist
Thinking that you and the
things you do are not good
enough
“Should” gets used a lot
Creates anxiety by pushing you
to the limits of your physical
and mental tolerance, resulting
in ongoing stress and fatigue
Convince yourself that your
worthiness is based on things
you have or do, such as career,
money, the love and acceptance
of others, or being the perfect
mother
“I should always be organized
and have things under control”
Constantly Criticizing
Yourself
Creates anxiety as you focus
on all of your perceived flaws
and ignore your good qualities
Comparing yourself to others,
and you are always the loser
Constantly putting yourself
down, making you believe you
are a worthless person
“You’re always making
mistakes – you are so dumb!”
“You are so fat! Why can’t you
be slim like so-and-so?”
6. I’ve Learned to Live with my Negative Self-Talk – Is it
Really Such a Bad Thing?
It becomes a habit that we don’t even realize we’ve acquired –
you may not even consciously notice yourself doing it
Your subconscious hears all of it, though, and the subconscious
just accepts everything you tell it and responds accordingly
Thoughts produce feelings and emotions; despite the fact that
your self talk is irrational or untrue, your body responds as
if it were really true
7. I’ve Learned to Live with my Negative Self-Talk – Is it
Really Such a Bad Thing?
Your negative, fearful, anxious thoughts will create negative
emotions like fear, anger, disappointment, etc even if the
circumstances haven’t actually occurred
These emotions produce physical reactions in the body,
potentially making you actually physically ill
These negative emotions create negative energy around and
within you, which feeds on and attracts more negative
thoughts and emotions
This becomes a vicious, self-perpetuating cycle when left
unchecked, which can result in frustration, depression, and
potentially illness
8. “It’s only a thought, and a thought can be
changed.”
Louise Hay
9. When you find yourself
saying this in your head…
…say something like this
instead
I’m so stupid – why did I
do (say, buy, get, etc)
that?
I look awful today – why
can’t I look like so-and-
so – they’re always so
put-together!
What if I screw this up
and my boss finds out
and I get fired and then I
can’t afford to do x…
(spiraling on and on)
I made a silly mistake.
I’m human and I’m not
perfect – no one is.
My nails (hair, shoes,
jacket, shaving job, etc)
is spot-on today – dayum
I look good!
I’m going to do the best I
can. If I make a mistake,
I’ll learn from it and
move on.
Changing Your Negative Self-Talk to Positive
10. Come Up with Some Stock Positive Phrases for
Yourself
Generally, the more ridiculous and outrageous these are, the
more effective they are (at least for me).
The following are actual phrases I have used in my head.
For positive thinking:
I am a super hero – hear me roar!
I have red shoes on today – I can conquer anything!
I ate 62 cheerios this morning – watch me rock the his-ouse!
For calming nerves:
Blue fur, yellow fur
Ceiling lights slowly
11. Who Made You the Expert?
I’m not; this is something I’m passionate about.
I still have negative self talk. Every day. Just a whole lot less
than I used to.
This is not rocket science – but it takes lots of discipline to
recognize what you’re doing and take corrective action on
yourself.
If you recognize that this is a crippling problem for you, and
you can’t seem to fix it on your own – that is not a fault of
yours – almost no one can do this completely on their
own. Go find a good CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy)
practitioner.