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Lovingly
Assertive
Boundary-
Setting
CREATING STRUCTURE THAT
EMPOWERS YOU AND YOUR
TEAM
www.meganleatherman.com
My name is Megan
Leatherman, and I'm an
HR Consultant and Career
Coach who focuses on
how to make our work
more human-friendly.
HELLO!
www.meganleatherman.com
Today, I'm expanding upon a concept
I wrote about in a recent blog post
titled "How to Gracefully Choose
Between Work and Life"
www.meganleatherman.com
Clickhereto
readthepost
Drawing good boundaries in your
work is essential to success in today's
hectic climate.
www.meganleatherman.com
Why Do Boundaries Matter?
Boundaries allow you to:
- Get more done in less time
- Feel less stressed throughout your day
- Effectively support others
- Be present in all that you do
Many of our workplaces are blatantly
anti-boundary.
We bombard one another with emails
and meeting requests even though
we know we need quiet time to focus
on our work and take care of
ourselves.
www.meganleatherman.com
An Anti-Boundary Climate
We can draw and
enforce good
boundaries in a way
that's loving - toward
ourselves and those
around us.
www.meganleatherman.com
It Doesn't Have to Be That Way
Get clear about what you will and won't do at work
Set up structure to support your boundaries
Communicate openly and assertively about your
boundaries
www.meganleatherman.com
3 Ways to Draw Good
Boundaries:
It's impossible to set good boundaries without
knowing where your lines are.
www.meganleatherman.com
Step 1: Get Clear
Some Clarifying Questions to Consider:
How much are you willing to work each week?
How much quiet time do you need each day to succeed
in your role?
Is your work environment conducive to success? If not,
what needs to change?
What kind of work are you willing to do and not do?
Support your boundaries with some structure.
www.meganleatherman.com
Step 2: Set the Structure
Structure Could Look Like:
Blocking off "quiet working time" on your calendar
Turning off all distractions like phones and email while
you're focusing deeply
Setting aside 1­2 days/week for working at home
Limiting the number of meetings you'll attend per day
It's not fair to constantly surprise your team
with boundaries or assert them harshly.
www.meganleatherman.com
Step 3: Communicate
How to Lovingly Communicate Your Boundaries:
Make sure your team knows why boundaries are important to you
(they'll enable you to get more done, focus deeply, and be a more
effective source of support).
Be open about the new structures you're implementing and the
best times/ways for them to reach you.
Encourage them to set their own boundaries and then be sure you
respect them.
This won't be easy, but it is necessary.
www.meganleatherman.com
Enforcing the Boundaries
If the idea of closing your office door or shutting off email for an
hour feels terrifying, it's okay.
Our workplaces are usually boundary­less places, where
interruptions and "urgency" run amok.
This will take some real effort, but it will enable you to do work that
truly matters, and I promise the payoff will be worth it.
Some resistance you might get as you do this:
- "You need to be more available"
- "You can't successfully work with others if you're not reachable by chat or
email"
- "We need you to keep up with the fast-paced culture of our company"
www.meganleatherman.com
People May Fight It...
Even though your boss or team members may kick and scream at
first, trust that:
- The results will speak for themselves. You'll show up more
present, focused, and productive than people without any
boundaries.
- They want the same thing, they just haven't given themselves
permission to do so.
- You're doing what's best for your own sanity and professional
success.
www.meganleatherman.com
But They Will Get Used to It
Let's say someone tries to schedule a meeting during
your clearly-blocked off quiet working time.
What now?
www.meganleatherman.com
What To Do When Someone Encroaches
This is where the rubber meets the road.
www.meganleatherman.com
What To Do When Someone Encroaches
How to Lovingly Assert Your Boundaries:
Take a deep breath. Assume that the other person had
good intentions.
Re­commit to your boundaries and use this opportunity to
model good boundary­setting for others.
Communicate your boundaries using the 4­step Non­
Violent Communication method (next slide).
Four steps to asserting your boundaries with kindness:
www.meganleatherman.com
Communicate Your Boundaries
State your observation ("I saw that you put a meeting on
for 10:00 today.")
Acknowledge the feeling ("I know you really want to make
more headway on this project...")
Assert your need ("but I need that quiet time to focus on
my piece of the project.")
Request a change ("Would you mind if we rescheduled it
for later in the day? I'm free at 2:00 or 4:00.")
You're supposed to stay flexible, right?
www.meganleatherman.com
What About Exceptions?
Obviously, we can't control everything, and there are
times when we'll have to make exceptions.
They should be exceptions, though ­ not the rule.
Most of us err on the side of overly accommodating for
others, which means we take on too much and burn out.
Try being a little less accommodating today and see how
it goes.
I hope you'll set aside the time and attention you need to
do and be well at work.
www.meganleatherman.com
Do Yourself and Others a Favor
To learn more about me and my work, you can go to:
Happy Boundary-Setting!
www.meganleatherman.com
To schedule a free 20-minute Career Coaching
consultation, you can go to:
https://meganleatherman.acuityscheduling.com/sche
dule.php?appointmentType=1142285

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Lovingly Assertive Boundary-Setting

  • 2. My name is Megan Leatherman, and I'm an HR Consultant and Career Coach who focuses on how to make our work more human-friendly. HELLO! www.meganleatherman.com
  • 3. Today, I'm expanding upon a concept I wrote about in a recent blog post titled "How to Gracefully Choose Between Work and Life" www.meganleatherman.com Clickhereto readthepost
  • 4. Drawing good boundaries in your work is essential to success in today's hectic climate. www.meganleatherman.com Why Do Boundaries Matter? Boundaries allow you to: - Get more done in less time - Feel less stressed throughout your day - Effectively support others - Be present in all that you do
  • 5. Many of our workplaces are blatantly anti-boundary. We bombard one another with emails and meeting requests even though we know we need quiet time to focus on our work and take care of ourselves. www.meganleatherman.com An Anti-Boundary Climate
  • 6. We can draw and enforce good boundaries in a way that's loving - toward ourselves and those around us. www.meganleatherman.com It Doesn't Have to Be That Way
  • 7. Get clear about what you will and won't do at work Set up structure to support your boundaries Communicate openly and assertively about your boundaries www.meganleatherman.com 3 Ways to Draw Good Boundaries:
  • 8. It's impossible to set good boundaries without knowing where your lines are. www.meganleatherman.com Step 1: Get Clear Some Clarifying Questions to Consider: How much are you willing to work each week? How much quiet time do you need each day to succeed in your role? Is your work environment conducive to success? If not, what needs to change? What kind of work are you willing to do and not do?
  • 9. Support your boundaries with some structure. www.meganleatherman.com Step 2: Set the Structure Structure Could Look Like: Blocking off "quiet working time" on your calendar Turning off all distractions like phones and email while you're focusing deeply Setting aside 1­2 days/week for working at home Limiting the number of meetings you'll attend per day
  • 10. It's not fair to constantly surprise your team with boundaries or assert them harshly. www.meganleatherman.com Step 3: Communicate How to Lovingly Communicate Your Boundaries: Make sure your team knows why boundaries are important to you (they'll enable you to get more done, focus deeply, and be a more effective source of support). Be open about the new structures you're implementing and the best times/ways for them to reach you. Encourage them to set their own boundaries and then be sure you respect them.
  • 11. This won't be easy, but it is necessary. www.meganleatherman.com Enforcing the Boundaries If the idea of closing your office door or shutting off email for an hour feels terrifying, it's okay. Our workplaces are usually boundary­less places, where interruptions and "urgency" run amok. This will take some real effort, but it will enable you to do work that truly matters, and I promise the payoff will be worth it.
  • 12. Some resistance you might get as you do this: - "You need to be more available" - "You can't successfully work with others if you're not reachable by chat or email" - "We need you to keep up with the fast-paced culture of our company" www.meganleatherman.com People May Fight It...
  • 13. Even though your boss or team members may kick and scream at first, trust that: - The results will speak for themselves. You'll show up more present, focused, and productive than people without any boundaries. - They want the same thing, they just haven't given themselves permission to do so. - You're doing what's best for your own sanity and professional success. www.meganleatherman.com But They Will Get Used to It
  • 14. Let's say someone tries to schedule a meeting during your clearly-blocked off quiet working time. What now? www.meganleatherman.com What To Do When Someone Encroaches
  • 15. This is where the rubber meets the road. www.meganleatherman.com What To Do When Someone Encroaches How to Lovingly Assert Your Boundaries: Take a deep breath. Assume that the other person had good intentions. Re­commit to your boundaries and use this opportunity to model good boundary­setting for others. Communicate your boundaries using the 4­step Non­ Violent Communication method (next slide).
  • 16. Four steps to asserting your boundaries with kindness: www.meganleatherman.com Communicate Your Boundaries State your observation ("I saw that you put a meeting on for 10:00 today.") Acknowledge the feeling ("I know you really want to make more headway on this project...") Assert your need ("but I need that quiet time to focus on my piece of the project.") Request a change ("Would you mind if we rescheduled it for later in the day? I'm free at 2:00 or 4:00.")
  • 17. You're supposed to stay flexible, right? www.meganleatherman.com What About Exceptions? Obviously, we can't control everything, and there are times when we'll have to make exceptions. They should be exceptions, though ­ not the rule. Most of us err on the side of overly accommodating for others, which means we take on too much and burn out. Try being a little less accommodating today and see how it goes.
  • 18. I hope you'll set aside the time and attention you need to do and be well at work. www.meganleatherman.com Do Yourself and Others a Favor
  • 19. To learn more about me and my work, you can go to: Happy Boundary-Setting! www.meganleatherman.com To schedule a free 20-minute Career Coaching consultation, you can go to: https://meganleatherman.acuityscheduling.com/sche dule.php?appointmentType=1142285