The document lists lessons the author learned from their mother. Some of the key lessons included appreciating a job well done by not making more work for the mother, practicing religion by praying stains would come out of carpets, and exhibiting flexibility by looking at dirt on the back of one's neck. The mother also taught lessons about stamina, weather, behavior modification, logic, and the circle of life.

1. Lessons from our parents
All the things my mother taught me:

2. TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it
outside - I just finished cleaning! "

3. RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the
carpet."

4. FLEXIBILITY
"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of
your neck! "

5. STAMINA
"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."

6. WEATHER
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your
room. "

7. PHYSICS PROBLEMS
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming
toward you; would you listen then? "

8. BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father! "

9. LOGIC
"Because I said so, that's why. "

10. IRONY
"Keep laughing and I'll *give* you something
to cry out. "

11. OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper! "

12. THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can
take you out. "

13. ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children
in this world who don't have wonderful
parents like you do! "

14. TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock
you into the middle of nextweek! "