Leib Tropper's Weekly Discussion Group

1. i; l( I i' :i:'!:'
Rabbi Leib Tropper is
the guiding spirit of a
weekly discusslon
group on gossip. The
project was organi zed
by Susan Blond, below,
a press agent.
to grab the woman, to plead with her. Fi-
nally, the woman said, "I'm not the mother
of the groom, but I could have been ! "
"We don't see lhe damage we can do with
our words," Rabbi Tropper continued.
"Things we say in New York can do da'mage
in Jerusalem, or Hong Kong or somewhere
else. That is why there is a strict restriction
against gossip" in the Torah.
A lawyer, Michael Feiner, asked about
nervspapers. Should readers skip the parts
that seem to be gossiP?
No, the rabbi replied, 'lbltt you are not
allowed to: accept it as trutti just because a
reporter wrote it.".
What about ,talk as therapy? A psycho-
therapist, Charlotte Saunders, said she
sometimes has to '.'explain to someone that
it is O.K. to talk about what is troubling
them."
It is fine'to'listen to such talk, the rabbi"
said, as long as lt has sorne ,"therapeutic
benefit," and as long as the listener does not
believe that everything said is true.
Rabbi Tropper said his class, and his
'philosophy about gossip, is based in large
part on the teachings of a rabbi known as
the Chofetz Chaim, who died in 1933. The
translation of the Chofetz Chaim's works
into English about a decade ago has spurred
interest in is teachings on forbidden
speech, Rabbi Tropper .saidJ as has the
speed at which gossip can spread in these
days of cellular telephones, 24-hour news
channels and the Internet.
The rabbi's familiarity with such modern
things, despite his devotion to ancient tradi-
ADVICE
Avoidance
Rabbi Leib Tropper acknowledges
:
that avoiding gossip is not easf Out ''
he has some suggestions: ,,1
' Do give compliments
- as long as ,
they are truthful :
. Don't speak disparagingly of anyone.
. Do tell the truth about others if it is :
crucial to your business,'but make
sure your motives are pure, and keeP
the conversation as short and as
factual as possible
. Don't use superlatives to describe
people, because such phrases are
almost always followed by a "but." i
(For example, "She's the most beautiful :',
woman, even if she is a little heavy.") '
tions, is one reason that people like to study
with him, his supporters say. "Someone
from Monsey, who dresses like he does,
who'S fervently Orthodox, you get the im-
pression such.people arq isolated and canit
interact," said Marvin Jacob, a lawyer who
is a partner at Weil, Gotshal & Manges who
has studied with the rabbi. "He belies that."
Whether most people can really learn to
live by the rabbi's teachings is an open
question. David Pullman, an investment
banker who does financing for rock-and-"foll
stars, says there is some debate about "the
practicality of what you can adopt.'r
His own approach, he said, "is to call it as
it is, so it's. not gossip."
Ms. Blond is his press agent-. lhp,'.4l5o
represents a plastic surgeotr, I fashioHffi-
signer, the singer Luther Vandross;q 4Se
heads of Arista and Ruffhouse Records, t$e
Artist (formerly known as the Artist Fdr-
merly Known as Prince), and Robin Byft,
host of a television talk show on'the pory*-
raphy industry. g,
Ms. Blond n*, become more of an ud&-
cate for rules against gossip as, she h-hs
become more comrnitted,to Orthodox JuS-
ism in recent months; following the break$j1
of her marriage to sorneone of a diffet.Ft
faith, she said. ;
Of course, she still speaks to the coluft-
nists, and not just about clients; the rabbf s'
class was mentioned recently in Mitchell
Fink's gossip column in The Daily News.,fr,
And she and Rabbi Tropper agree th$t
there is little chance that gossip, or t$'*
gossip columns, will ever disppeAr. "In t$e
Eeeinning of the Torah, Adam-blames Efe,
and Eve 'blarnes 'the' gsr'pqnt," the rabpi
said. "and it has never stopped since theni'