This document provides humorous definitions and summaries of terms related to the Civil Services Exams and life at the Mussoorie academy. It describes the academy as a "heaven on earth, till you reach there" and defines key locations and activities in amusing ways: - The gym is described as a "type of torture chamber." - Physical training instructors are called "fiends in human shape." - Lectures are "the only known cure for insomnia in history." - Village visits and tours are forms of "modern swayamvar," or arranged marriages. - Interaction sessions are "a means of exchanging mutual ignorance."

1. GLOSSARY OF ACADEMY

2. CIVIL SERVICES EXAMS:
A device to raise your value in the marriage market

3. MUSSOORIE:
A heaven on earth, till you reach there.

4. GENTLEMEN OT:
An aberration in the scheme of nature

5. FACULTY:
Erstwhile Gentlemen OTs

6. OT LOUNGE
A place to multiply the boredom of class by gossiping

7. PT:
A device to segregate the young and the not-so young from the truly old
 Young: those who lag behind in the jogging
 Not-so-young: those who drop out of jogging and watch from the side
 Truly old: those who bravely run in the front to prove that they are not old

8. GYM:
A type of torture chamber

9. PT INSTRUCTOR:
A fiend in human shape

10. COMPUTER:
A fiend in machine shape

11. LECTURES:
The only known cure for insomnia in history

12. TREK:
A chance to contribute to the pollution of the Himalayas

13. VILLAGE VISIT/ BHARAT
DARSHAN:
Forms of modern swayamvar

14. INTERACTION SESSION:
A means of exchanging mutual ignorance

15. FORMAL DINNER:
Informal Starvation

16. OFFICE:
a place where people who are paid to reject your requests
congregate

17. LIBRARY:
A place where pillows are replaced by books

18. AUDITORIUM:
A place acoustically designed to smother the noise of snoring

19. DISPENSARY:
A place where new diseases are discovered on everyday
except holidays

20. MESS:
A place where cruel biological experiments are perpetrated on
humankind

21. COOK:
Quality Controller of the above place

22. PMC:
A Good Shepherd

23. CANTEEN:
A place to prepare yourself to face the lectures

24. TEA:
An odourless, tasteless, pale coloured liquid, never hot, that
drives away life force

25. COFFEE:
An alternative for those who survive the above liquid

26. SOUP:
Similar to the above liquids, except that it has a faint
odour of Surf Excel

27. WATER:
A liquid that gushes out from the pipe in abundant quantities
once your room is firmly locked

28. KENDRIYA BHANDAR:
A local version of Ali Baba’s cave

29. GANGA DHABA:
Cradle of civilization

30. OWNER OF GANGA DHABA:
One who has unshakable faith in the mess cook

31. LIBRARY POINT:
A place for the OTs and tourists to gawk at each other

32. MALL:
A place where they sell all the things you won’t need or can’t
afford

33. TOURISTS:
People who compete with the OTs in making Mussoorie
inhospitable

34. THANKS
Compilation Graphics
R.S.Gopalan K.K.Pathak
Reproducing this presentation in any form without the
author’s permission is actively encouraged.
© Copyright 2003