Therapy is a process that takes time and dedication from both the client and therapist. The goal is to understand how one's thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are interconnected. Through multiple counseling sessions over weeks, the therapist and client work to identify patterns and thought processes contributing to problems. By analyzing thoughts and challenging irrational ones, therapy helps clients gain self-awareness and confidence while learning coping skills to apply outside of sessions. The end result is clients enjoying improved mental well-being and relationships.

1. How Therapy Works
San Diego Therapist, Counselor Jan Rakoff, LCSW
Psychotherapy works differently for different people. While some may require many counseling
sessions in order to feel better, others may feel self-assured after just a few short weeks.
Regardless of the length of time you spend in therapy, the underlying purpose of our practice is
to have you understand that your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are all interconnected.
Therapy is not a “quick fix” or “Band-Aid” approach that attempts to mask the problems at
hand; rather, therapy is a process and therefore takes time and dedication from both the
client and the counselor. Therapists strive to create a warm and safe environment that is
compassionate and sensitive in nature.
The initial session will include formal intake procedures and a full exploration of your past, and
your present problematic symptoms or behaviors that have caused you to seek therapy.
Sometimes the initial session will need to be divided into two parts, perhaps due to the length,
complexities, and multi-faceted issues you may be dealing with. Also, for others it can be
overwhelming to re-tell their entire life story in just one visit. In circumstances like these, a
divided initial session would be recommended. Once we have a comprehensive understanding
of you and your story, and have had the opportunity to become acquainted to make you feel
that you are in a safe environment, we can begin our formal therapy sessions together.
Over the many weeks of counseling sessions, we will become better acquainted with one
another, and begin to form a strong therapeutic alliance. We will then attempt to identify
patterns, antecedents, and consequences of your behavior. While this is a process, and
therefore takes some time, it is important to understand the connection between the way we
think, feel, and behave. Once we are able to pinpoint where the difficulty lies, which is usually in
our thought process, we can then work towards helping you cognitively re-frame your ways of
thinking.
This skill will subsequently lead to changes in the way you feel and also alter the way you
behave. For many of us, our thoughts are so automatic that we don’t always realize that what
we are thinking about is contributing to the end result of problematic emotions and/or behaviors.
This type of therapy breaks the components down into manageable pieces and analyzes them
with you to identify where you are (upon entering therapy) and where you would like to be (the
goal of the therapy). Through analyzing your thoughts together, we are usually able to find
patterns and general ways of thinking that you embody. Once we identify the problematic
thoughts, we are able to help you challenge these often irrational thoughts, by proving them
(finding evidence that supports them) and also disproving them (finding evidence that does not
support them).
This will help you get to know yourself better, gain self-confidence, and feel more in control of
the therapeutic process. We will work together to assist you in re-framing these negative
cognitions, by attempting to look at things from another perspective that perhaps you didn’t
realize existed. Since many of us are self-critical and constantly second-guessing ourselves, the
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2. underlying theme of our therapy is to help you work on these negative thoughts that are causing
you emotional pain and suffering. Without being self-aware and mindful of our thinking patterns
and how they influence our feelings and behaviors, we find that the suffering does not occur
solely on an individual basis, but also extends to those who are closest to you. This can
affect relationships between spouses, friendships, and the way you parent your children or treat
your colleagues at work. As you can see, these once thought to be “private” matters become
problematic when they begin to affect your personal feeling of well-being, but also your daily
functioning with those around you.
Overall, this type of therapy will teach you coping skills, so that when the inevitable, yet
problematic, activities of daily life begin to take a toll on you, you are able to respond effectively
and positively. Being a practical, interactive therapist, I always ensure that the client is involved
as much as possible in our treatment goals and planning. Rather than telling you what to do, I
can educate and teach you some of the problem-solving skills and evaluate how they have or
have not worked for you.
I will be there to provide constructive and continuous feedback to help you achieve solutions
that are manageable, realistic, and attainable. Upon completion of therapy, you will have the
tools you need to become a powerful agent for self-change since you will now have a greater
understanding of the way your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors all interplay with one another.
As my previous clients have reported, you will enjoy lower levels of anxiety and stress,
decreased conflicts, and an improved quality of life due to your new found understanding of
yourself, including the relationship between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
How do I know if therapy is right for me?
There is no clear cut answer to this question. However, if you are feeling overwhelmed by
situations or experiences in your life, feel as if no one understands you, and are beginning to
feel helpless, therapy may be right for you. Of course, the choice to seek help from a counselor
is always yours. You may begin therapy sessions and find out that it is not for you. In general,
therapy usually benefits most who seek it. Usually if you choose to find help from a therapist, it
means you recognize that you have a problem and need some help and support to re-gain
control of your life.
How can a person who doesn’t even know me help me with my
problems?
Unlike a friend or a family member, a therapist acts as an objective, unbiased individual who is
able to listen and give appropriate feedback, without the interference of an emotional
attachment.
A therapist can be a listener, supporter, and sometimes even a teacher who helps you learn
strategies and gain insight to your current problems that are causing these unbearable feelings.
If I seek therapy now, does that mean I’ll always need it?
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3. Just because you choose therapy at this point in your life, it does not mean that you will always
need therapy. Everyone goes through challenging situations in their lives where they could
benefit from some outside assistance. Going to therapy does not mean you are “crazy” or
“incapable” of handling your problems. In fact, it means you have the capacity to recognize that
you need some help, which takes a strong-minded, self-aware individual.
How can therapy help me?
Therapy provides you not only with support and an opportunity to freely speak about your
feelings and problems, but it also teaches you coping mechanisms and strategies that can be
generalized and applied to other areas of your life. Many people who have attended therapy
report improved interpersonal relationships as well as personal growth and self-awareness.
However, the benefits you receive from attending therapy sessions depend on your willingness
to fully participate in the therapeutic process and apply it to your daily living.
Is what I say during therapy confidential?
Yes, everything you say during a therapy session is kept confidential and private. The only
exception to this is if you tell me that you are intending to harm yourself or others. Otherwise,
everything we talk about is completely confidential.
How often do I have to attend therapy?
Everyone moves and heals at different paces, so the length of time you will need to attend
therapy depends on how quickly you heal and how committed you are to the therapeutic
process. I also recognize that people have busy lives and other commitments. However, we will
typically meet once per week, depending on your availability.
How long are therapy sessions / appointments?
Appointments are usually one hour in length, but again, this depends on your schedule and
availability.
How much will therapy cost and will my insurance cover it?
I have a sliding scale which we can discuss when you contact me. Most PPO Insurance will
cover a portion of the cost.
How can I get started?
Please contact me at 1.858-481-0425 to set up an appointment for
therapy in San Diego.
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4. http://www.sandiegotherapistcounselor.com/how-therapy-works.html
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