It's a fact of life that some relationships go through the occasional rough patch. In most cases, these are worked out; either through rational discussion or some arguing, but the issues get resolved. But when there's a narcissist involved, the "rough patch" can be a lot less of a patch and more of a cold, wet, heavy blanket that seems to cover your whole life. This is often referred to as a toxic relationship - but how do you know the difference between a simple rough patch in your relationship and and a very toxic situation? The differences, sadly, can seem subtle at first.

2. With Certified Life Coach Angela Atkinson
Today at QueenBeeing.com

3. It's a fact of life that some relationships go through the occasional rough
patch. In most cases, these are worked out; either through rational
discussion or some arguing, but the issues get resolved. But when there's
a narcissist involved, the "rough patch" can be a lot less of a patch and
more of a cold, wet, heavy blanket that seems to cover your whole life.

4. This is often referred to as a toxic relationship - but how do you know
the difference between a simple rough patch in your relationship and and a
very toxic situation? The differences, sadly, can seem subtle at first.

5. Here are some signs to look for to see if your relationship is toxic -
whether you're sure you're involved with a narcissist or not.

6. In a toxic relationship:

7. Your mate attempts to force you to be dependent on them for basic
needs.

8. You have made changes you normally wouldn't have to keep them pleased.

9. They control your life and check up on you to make sure you're doing what
they think you should.

10. They verbally put you down in front of other people.

11. They are physically, mentally or emotionally abusive or manipulative.

12. There's no evidence that they actually love you, though they may say
otherwise. (Actions speak louder than words!)

13. What it all comes down to is that narcissists (and other types of toxic
people) are not healthy, and they're inevitably on a mission to feel better
than the people around them. Essentially, they're soul poison - and if you
stick it out too long, you might find yourself feeling dead inside.

14. So, how does anybody get into such a relationship, and why do they stay?
On the surface, the easy answer is that nobody would or should, but the
reality is that they do.

15. The reason for this is that toxic relationships run in cycles. There are
three basic stages: the honeymoon (often includes love bombing), where
everything seems good and there is lots of hope for a happier future; the
problem stage (often includes gaslighting, devaluing and discarding), this is
where the actual problems occur; reconciliation, where the offending party
makes up for what they did wrong (often includes hoovering). This then
leads right back to the honeymoon stage and it starts all over again.

16. Does that sound familiar to you?

17. Once you know about this cycle, it's easier to understand how even very
smart people get trapped in emotionally and mentally abusive relationships
with toxic narcissists.

18. There is really only one stage where things seem bad. After that, they see
their toxic mate is trying to do better and is sorry for what they did.
Everybody deserves a second chance, right? Then the honeymoon phase is
going great, they're happy again, and willing to forgive and forget. But,
inevitably, the problems start again.

19. So, why don't people get out of toxic relationships at this point?

20. Well, if you think about it, you can see that they already have proof that
their partner can change. This proof comes in the form of the prior
reconciliation stage. From the perspective of an "outsider," that can be
hard to believe, but that's how you tend to see it while you're stuck in the
middle of the relationship. And, there's also another honeymoon stage
right around the corner.

21. What's the key to getting out? Think of it as an addiction. The drug is the
problem stage, and the honeymoon stage is the high that is felt. And you
can't get the high without the drug. Therefore, if you are in a toxic
relationship, you must break out of it at the problem stage. Now that
you know the signs you can be ready to take action.

22. Don't kid yourself. Get help. Do whatever you need to do to get the
respect you truly deserve. It will be difficult, but you will have a happier
life when you do.