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Hi, Wisline. You've made changes in the essay and the Chen
article seems like a useful addition. And it is still apparent that
you are making the point that our privacy is becoming more and
more compromised with the new technologies in use and the
fact that old data never seems to die. However, as noted here
and on the prior draft, work is still needed to introduce and
integrate sources effectively. You give Tolentino's chapter title
and her full name, but do not do this with the other sources.
And, there is a brief attempt to tell the reader what her chapter
covers, but this doesn't happen with the other authors. If we can
somehow discuss this this week, it might help. Otherwise,
please see the examples I give in the "Basic MLA" handout and
other handouts in Course Information in BB and the Purdue
OWL website for help with this going into the 3rd draft, which
will be the final draft of this essay in your portfolio.

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Hi, Wisline. Youve made changes in the essay and the Chen article s.docx

  • 1. Hi, Wisline. You've made changes in the essay and the Chen article seems like a useful addition. And it is still apparent that you are making the point that our privacy is becoming more and more compromised with the new technologies in use and the fact that old data never seems to die. However, as noted here and on the prior draft, work is still needed to introduce and integrate sources effectively. You give Tolentino's chapter title and her full name, but do not do this with the other sources. And, there is a brief attempt to tell the reader what her chapter covers, but this doesn't happen with the other authors. If we can somehow discuss this this week, it might help. Otherwise, please see the examples I give in the "Basic MLA" handout and other handouts in Course Information in BB and the Purdue OWL website for help with this going into the 3rd draft, which will be the final draft of this essay in your portfolio.