Hard Conversations: Strategies for Difficult Family Discussions
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The document discusses having hard conversations in families about taboo topics like sex, illness, death, and money. It notes that avoiding such conversations through taboos can reduce relationship skills and planning. It provides tips for starting hard conversations, including using process comments, active listening, reframing, and addressing core relationship concerns. The document emphasizes preparing for conflict and emotions, practicing conversations, and focusing discussions on shared values in a non-judgmental way.
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Hard Conversations: Strategies for Difficult Family Discussions
- 1. Helping Families Have Hard Conversations March 16. 2016 @docgresh Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 2. Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 3. Taboo Topics Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 4. Taboo Topics • Sex Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 5. Taboo Topics • Sex • Bodily functions Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 6. Taboo Topics • Sex • Bodily functions • Mental illness Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 7. Taboo Topics • Sex • Bodily functions • Mental illness • Social isolation Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 8. Taboo Topics • Sex • Bodily functions • Mental illness • Social isolation • Death Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 9. Taboo Topics • Sex • Bodily functions • Mental illness • Social isolation • Death • Money Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 10. What have the effects of conversational taboos been on you? Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 11. Conversational taboos • Reduce conflict, anxiety, embarrassment and emotionality Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 12. Conversational taboos • Reduce conflict, anxiety, embarrassment and emotionality • Lack of practice needed for skill development Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 13. Conversational taboos • Reduce conflict, anxiety, embarrassment and emotionality • Lack of practice needed for skill development • Planning for predicable events is avoided Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 14. • Lack of training Effects of conversational taboos on professionals Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 15. • Lack of training • Clients enter into our practices in crisis and conflict Effects of conversational taboos on professionals Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 16. • Lack of training • Clients enter into our practices in crisis and conflict • Professionals have not worked through their own issues Effects of conversational taboos on professionals Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 17. Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 18. Elders • Retirement issues Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 19. Elders • Retirement issues • Financial capacity/financial resource issues Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 20. Elders • Retirement issues • Financial capacity/financial resource issues • Preparation for role reversals Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 21. Elders • Retirement issues • Financial capacity/financial resource issues • Preparation for role reversals • Illness/Disability/Death Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 22. Elders • Retirement issues • Financial capacity/financial resource issues • Preparation for role reversals • Illness/Disability/Death • Estate and inheritance issues Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 23. Process • Learning how to step out of an interaction and comment on what is happening Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 24. Process • Learning how to step out of an interaction and comment on what is happening • A learned skill Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 25. Process • Learning how to step out of an interaction and comment on what is happening • A learned skill • Reduces conflict and gives a framework for the interaction Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 26. Process • Learning how to step out of an interaction and comment on what is happening • A learned skill • Reduces conflict and gives a framework for the interaction • BEGIN HERE Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 27. Process characteristics Transparent vs Private Hierarchical vs Democratic Communicated vs Assumed Inclusive vs Exclusive Consensual vs Legal Open vs Constricted Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 28. Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology • Begin with process comments Hard Conversations
- 29. Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology • Begin with process comments • What, Who, When, Where, How Hard Conversations
- 30. Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology • Begin with process comments • What, Who, When, Where, How • Make requests Hard Conversations
- 31. Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology • Begin with process comments • What, Who, When, Where, How • Make requests • Collaborate on the guidelines Hard Conversations
- 32. Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology • Begin with process comments • What, Who, When, Where, How • Make requests • Collaborate on the guidelines • Notes, time limits, keeping guidelines, next steps Hard Conversations
- 33. Hard Conversations • Prepare for emotionality Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 34. Hard Conversations • Prepare for emotionality • Prepare for conflict Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 35. Hard Conversations • Prepare for emotionality • Prepare for conflict • Practice/Role Play Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 36. Hard Conversations • Prepare for emotionality • Prepare for conflict • Practice/Role Play • An Experiment Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 37. Hard Conversations • Prepare for emotionality • Prepare for conflict • Practice/Role Play • An Experiment • Use the following skills Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 38. Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 39. Active Listening Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 40. Reframing Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 41. Core Concerns underlying Emotions Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 42. Affiliation Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 43. Autonomy Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 44. Status Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 45. Role Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 46. Model of families under financial stress Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 47. Affluent families • Pressure for achievement, excellence, perfection, image • Lack of emotional closeness to busy parents • Materialistic values • Lack of intrinsic motivation, family chores and roles • Substance abuse rates Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 48. Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology • Agreement to meet • Guidelines • Non-threatening topics • Fun included How to get started?
- 49. Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology Generational Profiles
- 50. Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology Family History
- 51. Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 52. Values conversations • Safe, non-judgmental, structured Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 53. Values conversations • Safe, non-judgmental, structured • Differences acknowledged and integrated Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 54. Values conversations • Safe, non-judgmental, structured • Differences acknowledged and integrated • Related to age, gender, culture, behavior Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 55. The United States • Unusually high on Achievement • Unusually low on Universalism Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 56. The United States • Unusually high on Achievement • Unusually low on Universalism • Higher ratings on Stimulation, Hedonism, Self-direction Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 57. The United States • Unusually high on Achievement • Unusually low on Universalism • Higher ratings on Stimulation, Hedonism, Self-direction • Lower on Tradition, Conformity, Security Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 58. Benefits of Identifying Values • Non-judgmental way to approach differences Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 59. Benefits of Identifying Values • Non-judgmental way to approach differences • Guides decision-making Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 60. Benefits of Identifying Values • Non-judgmental way to approach differences • Guides decision-making • Clarifies differences by generation, age, gender, family, culture, country Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 61. Benefits of Identifying Values • Non-judgmental way to approach differences • Guides decision-making • Clarifies differences by generation, age, gender, family, culture, country • Non-threatening way to discuss discrepancy between beliefs and behaviors Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 62. Challenges Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
- 63. Mary Gresham, Ph.D. Atlanta Financial Psychology
Editor's Notes
- Acknowledgement of my strengths and expertise; treated with respect;
- Am I doing what is meaningful and purposeful for me? Do I want to add, change or delete activities that are part of my role?