The document describes the author's journey to finding her authentic voice and overcoming a fear of being herself with others. As a child, she felt she had to conform to expectations and suppress her opinions to get her basic needs met. As an adult, she craved authentic living but was influenced by others' opinions. Through reading books on ego and self-reflection, she realized negative self-talk was affecting her self-worth and reactions. By examining her beliefs and motivations in relationships, she worked to overcome feelings of undeservingness and fill an inner hole.

1. FINDING MY OWN “VOICE".
My passionis (supporting women) who think and feel "they can't go
the distance with too much Resistance",by guiding you to see that the
power is inside you.
I REALIZED WHY THIS WAS, I HAD SO MUCH FEAR
AROUND BEING MYSELF WITH OTHER PEOPLE, (THEY
HELD MY CARDS IN THEIR HAND), JUST LIKE WHEN I WAS
A KID IF I WANTED TO EAT GOOD, GET CLOTHES, BE
TREATED SOMEWHAT DECENT, I HAD TO TOW THE LINE,
OR, I WAS EXPECTED TO BE PERFECT, DO EXTRA, NOT
TALK OR SHARE AN OPINION, PRETEND THEY WERE
GOOD, BASICALLY ELIMINATE MYSELF IN THE EQUATION.
THAT’S HOW I GOT MY BASIC NEEDS MET.

2. WHAT HAPPENED TO ME IN THE NOT SO DISTANT PASSED
WAS THAT I STARTED TO CRAVE AUTHENTIC LIVING, I
WANTED TO WALK MY WALK AND TALK MY TALK. I
WANTED TO BE ABLE TO SAY WHAT I WAS SO AFRAID TO.
THAT I WAS VALUABLE AND I NEEDED TO BE RESPECTED
FOR WHO I AM, NOT WHO YOU NEED ME TO BE, NOT WHO
I USED TO BE, OR EVEN WHO I PRETENDED TO BE FOR SO
LONG SO YOU WOULD LOVE ME, CARE FOR ME AND KEEP
ME.

3. ALSO, I WOULD GET CAUGHT UP IN WHAT THE CIRCLE'S
HAD TO SAY ABOUT EVERYTHING AND EVERY-ONE,
MOSTLY BECAUSE I WAS HAPPY THEY WERE NOT
TALKING ABOUT ME! LITTLE BY LITTLE IT WAS
EFFECTING MY SELF-WORTH. AND MY INTEGRITY. THIS
LEAD ME TO READING SOME DYNAMIC BOOKS ON
GETTING HONEST, LETTING GO OF THE POWERFUL
EGO’S EFFECT ON MY HAPPINESS. I STARTED WAKING
UP AND LOOKING MORE CLOSELY AT MY THOUGHTS,

4. SEARCHING FOR THE TRUTH IS DIFFERENT FOR EACH OF
US AS IT SHOULD BE, SO I AM ONLY SPEAKING OF MY
JOURNEY. YOUR JOURNEY MAY BE VERY DIFFERENT, I
HONOR THIS.
WHILE READING ECKHART TOLL’S BOOK, “FINDING
YOUR PURPOSE”,
MANY THINGS STARTED CLICKING, THAT MY THOUGHTS

5. DID HAVE A THEME THAT I WAS NOT ENTIRELY AWARE. I
BECAME SO REACTIVE TO ALMOST EVERYTHING, MY
FEELINGS WERE UP AND DOWN LIKE A YO YO. IT WAS MY
EGO. THE VOICE IN MY HEAD THAT HAD AN OPINION
ABOUT EVERY OUTSIDE EVENT I ENCOUNTERED.
EVERY DAY I PAID A LITTLE MORE ATTENTION TO MY
THOUGHT PATTERNS I FOUND A VERY NEGATIVE
DIALOGUE GOING DOWN THAT SAID; “WHO DO YOU
THINK YOU ARE TELLING OTHER PEOPLE YOUR

6. FEELINGS” , “WHY DID YOU DO THAT” AND “NO-ONE
WILL LIKE YOU, YOU ARE GOING TO EMBARRASS
YOURSELF AGAIN”. ‘THAT WAS SO STUPID”, THIS
APPOSING VOICE IN MY HEAD WAS BEATING ME DOWN AT
EVERY TURN AND I HAD NEVER BEFORE SEEN IT IN THIS
WAY. IF YOU TELL YOURSELF LONG ENOUGH THAT YOU
ARE REALLY NOT IMPORTANT, NOT LOVED, NEVER GOING
TO CHANGE, THE CHANCES ARE VERY GOOD THAT IT
WILL BECOME REALITY.

7. WHERE DID THIS VOICE OR EGO COME FROM? MY BEST
GUESS IS THAT IT ORIGINATED BACK TO MY INNER CHILD,
(MY INSIDE VOICE), WHO HAS BEEN CALCULATING MY
SELF-WORTH OVER SOME 45 YEARS BASED ON HOW I
WAS RAISED. BASED ON MY BATTLES IN RELATIONSHIPS,
MONEY, AND SUCCESS. BASED ON HOW I TOOK CARE OF
MY-SELF WHEN IT WAS MY TURN TO LEAD. THIS GOES
FAR BACK TO THE LITTLE GIRL THAT WAS LEFT UN-
ATTENDED FOR GREAT LENGTHS OF TIME, DROPPED OFF
WITH MANY (OTHER PEOPLE) WHEN I WAS VERY YOUNG,
WHERE NOT EVERYONE LIKED BEING DUMPED WITH A
CHILD, EVEN ONE AS ADORABLE AS MYSELF. THE LITTLE
GIRL WHO WAS NEVER ADDRESSED, SPOKEN TO, OR

8. CONSIDERED WHEN IT CAME TO MY WELL-BEING AND
HAPPINESS. DO AS YOUR TOLD AND DON’T MAKE
WAVES, HAVE AN OPINION, OR EXPRESS DISCOMFORT.
ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL AND GIVING, PLEASANT AND
CHEERFUL, LADY-LIKE WITH POLISHED MANNERS.
THERE WAS ONE IMPORTANT SIDE EFFECT I
EXPERIENCED WHILE UNEARTHING MY TRUTH, (IT WAS
THE ANGER AT MYSELF) AND ALL THOSE WHO

9. CONTRIBUTED TO MY LOW THOUGHT PROCESS OF SELF.
SOMEWHERE INSIDE WAS A SAD LITTLE GIRL WHO HAD
NEVER HAD HER DAY, OR BEEN LISTENED TO BY ANYONE
THAT MATTERED. WORST WAS THE IDEA THAT I COULD
ALLOW OTHER PEOPLE TO TAKE MY LIFE VALUE AND
HAPPINESS AWAY. MY ABILITY TO HAND OVER MY SELF-
POWER WAS SEVERELY INJURED AND NEEDED
ATTENTION TO AMEND OLD BELIEFS AND LIMITED SELF-
VIEWS.

10. I STARTED A LIST OF ALL THOSE WHO I HAD DEEP
SEEDED RESENTMENT, AND I USED TECHNIQUES LIKE
INVESTIGATING TO PIN POINT THOSE AREAS WHERE MY
LIFE HAD BEEN EFFECTED THE MOST. WAS IT MY SELF-
ESTEEM, SOCIAL GROUPS, SEXUAL INTERESTS,
FINANCIAL, SPIRITUAL, EMPLOYMENT, OR ROMANTIC?
YES, IT HAD EFFECTED ALL OF THEM, SOME MORE THAN
OTHERS. I NEEDED TO LOOK AT WHY I ACCEPTED SO
LITTLE IN RETURN FOR MY-SELF. (MOTIVES ARE THE

11. ENGINES OF ALL RELATIONSHIPS.) NOT JUST ROMANTIC
RELATIONSHIPS, BUT ALL OF THEM. THERE IS A PAY-OFF
FOR EVERY INTERACTION. THE PROBLEM COMES DOWN
TO WHY DOES ONE NEED OUT-WEIGH ANOTHER? BY THIS
I MEAN, WHY IS BEING ACCEPTED AND NEEDED BY
OTHERS SO IMPORTANT THAT I WILL TRADE MY SELF-
WORTH TO GET IT.

12. BY OVER-LOOKING MY BELIEFS, THOUGHTS, FEELINGS,
SELF-RESPECT, TRUTH, NEEDS, FOR WHAT I THINK IS
ACCEPTANCE AND LOVE. FOLLOWING ME? THE MAIN
IDEA IS TO ASK YOURSELF, WHAT IS IN IT FOR ME? WHAT
IS MY REAL MOTIVATION FOR DOING THIS? IF YOU CAN
PLUG THIS INTO YOUR DAILY THOUGHT SYSTEM, YOU
MAY FIND SOME INTERESTING INFORMATION. AGAIN,
THIS IS NOT WRONG, IT IS HUMAN, AND HOW WE GET OUR
DAY TO DAY NEEDS MET. THE PROBLEM COMES IN WHEN
WE ARE WILLING TO GIVE TOO MUCH OF OUR-SELVES IN
RETURN FOR ACCEPTANCE AND LOVE. THIS SHOULD NOT
HURT. NO-ONE SHOULD HAVE TO FEEL THERE IS

13. NOTHING LEFT FOR SELF, OR THAT YOU DON’T HAVE
ENOUGH TO GET YOUR INNER NEEDS MET WITH COMFORT
AND EASE. WE ALL DESERVE TO BE LOVED AND
RESPECTED BY THE PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES!
THE REAL ISSUE AT MY CORE WAS “WHY DID I FEEL SO
UNDESERVING” AND “HOW WOULD I FILL THIS HOLE”
LIST OF RED FLAGS TELLING YOU THIS IS UNHEALTHY.

14. WHEN YOU ARE EXPRESSING YOURSELF AND THE
OTHER PERSON IS NOT PAYING ATTENTION, YOU FEEL
UNHEARD.
1.WHEN YOU BRING THIS TO THEIR ATTENTION THEY
SAY YOU ARE OVERLY SENSITIVE.
2.YOU ARE HAPPY AND WANT TO SHARE ABOUT YOUR
GREATNESS, OTHER PERSON WANTS TO TALK
ABOUT THEM-SELVES ONLY.

15. 3.YOU NEVER KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU WILL BE
ACCEPTED FROM ONE DAY TO THE NEXT.
4.YOU HAVE AN ISSUE THAT YOU WANT TO CLEAR UP
WITH OTHER PERSON AND THEY TELL YOU QUICKLY
TO LET IT GO, IT’S NOT IMPORTANT.
5.YOU INITIATE SEXUAL INTIMACY AND YOU ARE GIVEN
A COLD SHOULDER.

16. 6.YOU TRY TO CHANGE OLD PATTERNS IN THE
RELATIONSHIP AND YOU ARE MET WITH, IT’S YOUR
PROBLEM NOT MINE.
7.YOU EXPLAIN THAT YOU ARE HURTING FROM THIS
RELATIONSHIP AND OTHER PERSON TELLS YOU IT’S
NOT THAT BAD OR REMINDS YOU OF FINANCIAL
SUPPORT.
8.YOU FIND YOURSELF CRYING AND TRYING HARD TO
HIDE IT FROM OTHERS, AS IT IS TOO EMBARRASSING.

17. 10.DEEP INSIDE YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE OUT OF
THIS RELATIONSHIP, BUT YOU ARE TOO AFRAID OF
BEING ALONE, MAKING A DRASTIC CHANGE,
WONDERING HOW THE OTHER PERSON WILL RE-ACT,
FEAR OF EVER FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN, FEEL UN-
WORTHY OF HAVING BETTER.
BEING WITH SOMEONE WHO IS EMOTIONALLY
UNAVAILABLE HAPPENS WITH ALL RELATIONSHIPS.
WHEN YOU OR YOUR FEELINGS ARE DISCOUNTED, YOU
ARE EXPERIENCING A FORM OF ABUSE.

18. MY INTENTION IS NOT TO CAUSE MORE UN-HAPPINESS
BUT RATHER TO ASSIST YOU ON THE JOURNEY OF
FINDING YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF.
AFFIRMATIONS FOR HEALING
I AM GOOD ENOUGH TODAY.
EVERYDAY I GROW STRONGER AND MORE AUTHENTIC.
MY EXPERIENCES SHAPE ME, TEACH ME AND SHOW ME
WHERE I AM, AND HOW TO MOVE FORWARD.
I AM EAGER TO SPEAK MY TRUTH TODAY AND HOLD
BACK NOTHING.
MY HIGHER SPIRIT IS ALWAYS NEAR ME AND GUIDING ME
TO MY HIGHEST LOVING ENERGY.
I AM NOT PERFECT AND I AM OKAY WITH THAT.

19. I AM A GOOD PERSON AND I ACCEPT THIS TO BE MY
TRUTH.
Cookie Dean Cookie-Wisdom.com
moonmaidendean@mail.com
IF YOU ARE READY TO MAKE CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE,
CREATE A MAP FOR FREEDOM, INDEPENDENCE AND
AUTHENTICITY, I WOULD BE HONORED TO ASSIST YOU
THROUGH THE MAZE OF SELF-DOUBT, FEAR, AND OLD-
THINKING TO FIND THAT KICK ASS WOMEN YOU ARE
HIDING WHO HAS EVERYTHING SHE NEEDS TO LIVE THE
LIFE YOU HAVE ALWAYS DREAMED OF.