1. FACEBOOK LOVE [jabulani mzinyathi 13.05.2015]
It has since become a cliché that not all that glitters is gold. It is another cliché that
never judge a book by its cover. Times without number these clichés go unheeded.
Such is human nature. No matter how many Solomons we get we shall never learn.
Perhaps that applies to only me.
I had to think fast and wriggle out of the mess I had placed myself in by this unbridled
love for technology. When I was able to get away I told myself that I had learnt my
lessons well. I swore that I would never try and charm a woman via the social media.
That rule is cast in stone like the laws Moses got on Mt Sinai.
‘ Mum what? Mum tell me you are pulling my leg. What? It cannot be true that uncle
John is gone. Mum how can that be so? When last I visited him in hospital he was
responding well to treatment. His CD4 count had significantly improved. He was no
longer in denial mode. What went wrong mum? Okay just wait for me mum. Stop wailing
like that mum. Find solace in Ecclesiates three.
She stood there dumbfounded. Her dark, thick sausage like lips were wide open. I could
see a row of uneven teeth. Her twin tunnel like nostrils completed here grotesque look.
As I cast glances at her my mind was in overdrive. I could not fathom what had
happened which had transmogrified that woman of angelic beauty into this unfinished
piece of work which also had a distinct whiff of stale sweat. After what seemed like an
eternity she spoke.
‘ What is it darling? That sounded like a conversation about the death of someone near
and dear. What a bad thing on our date!’
These words nauseated me. My mind was in turmoil. I was dazed like a fish in the steel
talons of a fish eagle. I could have pinched myself if she had not kept staring at me like I
was some rare specimen under a microscope.
‘ I have to go now. Will keep you posted. Sad that I have to leave now. I have to be by
mum’ side. My dad long passed on. My sisters are all in the diaspora. The man who has
passed on is my uncle. He was her only brother. I have to go now. I’m really sorry that

2. this man just died on the day I was supposed to have lots of fun with you. I really will
make it up to you.’
To her credit she could not accept the one hundred dollar note I took out of my wallet.
She said I needed it now that I had a funeral on my hands. Deep inside I was grateful
that I had not paid dearly for my indiscretion. I put back my money into my wallet and
giving her a hug I bade her farewell and walked away without turning. I thought I would
turn into a mound of salt like Lot’s wife.
When I got home I took of my shirt for I could still smell her stale sweat odour. I cursed
myself for having feigned the death of my uncle who had long passed on. I phoned my
mum whom I had not chatted with in a long time. I had been deeply engrossed in the
facebook based love affair which had turned out to be one catastrophe.
My mum was elated to hear my voice. We chatted about on and on for close to thirty
minutes with my mum chiding me for being a prodigal son who had no time for his mum.
Finally she brought on her favourite topic. On hearing that my heart sank. After a long
deafening silence I responded.
‘ Mum I have found love and I am still getting to know the woman. Soon I will be telling
you about my plans with her. We have been dating now for some time and I will bring
her to meet you soon. I hope you will like the stunning beauty and well mannered
prospective daughter in law. Once she gets your nod then wedding bells will toll.’
With that I hung up and slumped onto my bed on my back. I stared vacantly at the white
ceiling. My mind raced through the events of the day. I made a vow. Like one under
hypnosis I fell into a deep slumber.