Prologue
Who is a bride? She wondered. What does she look like? She looked at herself in the mirror.
How does this word change who she is? She was confused. Yet, all of the questions seemed
meaningless in front of all the happiness she was surrounded by. There was noise, so loud she
could feel the floor beneath her tremble with the echoes of laughter. There were lights,
everywhere so bright and colorful it made her eyes dance with excitement. And then there was
she, the bride. She seemed to be the attention of it all.
Her reflection surely lied to her for she had never seen herself so beautiful. There was a light
shade of pink on her lips and cheeks which made her feel like the inside of a rose bud. Her
hands were decorated with floral prints from the henna and multi-colored bangles dangled in
her wrists. The rubies in her ears were definitely alight with fire for they burned with such
beauty. Her dress was the most gorgeous piece of clothing she ever wore, embroidered with
delicate work of silk threads and tiny pearls which seemed like stars stitched to the body of her
skirts. She was caught in the awe of all of it. Yet, somehow the feeling of some faint injustice
tugged at her conscience. Her mother assured her all was going to be well once she safely
reaches her home, her new home.
A few days ago her mother had revealed to her the news about her father’s announcement to
wed her. She had not understood it at all. The very thought of leaving her parents house, her
house, formed bile in her stomach which insisted upon being expelled. She wept in her
mother’s arms holding on to her warmth. Her mother slowly and gently choosing her words
told her the story of her wedding. It seemed to soothe her and with each passing minute the
thought of being wed did not seem so absurd. Her parents had had a happy life together
however she still insisted against the arrangement. Her father hearing her decision gave a shake
of his head and resumed to his chambers. The next day, the entire family was driven to another
estate much larger with lush gardens and people at each corner. She kept close to her mother
and touched each object, wall and room with her eyes. They met with a family who seemed as
pleasant as their own and stayed the night.
That was the night she saw him. She had walked out of bed to get a glass of water and
wandered downstairs. In a matter of minutes she was lost in the mansion & tried hard to
remember her way back to the room. She walked in to a dimly lit corridor and lowered her
breathing not to awaken the demons that may haunt this dark passageway. That’s when she
heard him.
“Are you lost?” is all he had said, she turned to his voice and knew he was her savior.
“Let me show you to your room” he gently took her hand and brought her back to where she
belonged.
Now, days later she was preparing to be his bride. All those terrifying thoughts which had been
taking refuge in her mind recently, seemed to grow mute just by remembering his kind eyes.
“Is she ready?” her aunt asked knocking on the door.
“Yes” Turning back to face her aunt, she answered eagerly instead of her mother.
***
He was waiting in the sitting room with half a dozen men around him, chatting, sipping tea and
enjoying themselves where he wasn’t. There were plenty of places he could think of he’d
rather be than here. Anywhere but here he kept thinking in his head. He stared in to the faces
of his relatives and his father’s friends, all joyous and satisfied with the event taking forth. How
is it that he feels the worst on a day he should be blessing the God for a new chapter in his life.
But he knew, this chapter was not one he wished to read or turn a page to know what’s coming
next. He did not anticipate any of it. All he could think of is to be done with the whole matter as
quickly as possible so he could return to the life he had left elsewhere. However he knew he
would have to stay for the sake of his father’s stubbornness. He would make peace with the
decision eventually and vowed to himself he would not make his bride’s life any more difficult
than what their parents had made.
He fidgeted with the flowers draped around his neck. The thought of arranged marriage was
not one he thought wrong in any manner but what bothered him was not seeing his bride. Not
knowing the person she is and the person she might be to him. He did not know anything of his
to-be wife and that is how his mother wished it to be so that he does not break off the
engagement out of arrogance.
Why did they have to do this? Was there no other way to solve his father’s problems? Could he
not give him some time to come up with a solution apart from this? These questions had been
asked and went unanswered. His father, like many of the men in his family would not listen to
their sons for they deemed themselves far more experienced and wise. He did not argue, he
could not. There is no sense in shouting when there was no one willing to listen.
He inhaled heavily and looked up at the clock hanging on the wall. He would be watching a
football match if he were back home, probably having a great time with his friends with not a
care in the world. The door to the sitting room creaked open and he saw his aunt’s and mother
emerge with the bride hidden between the mass of giggling women.
The maulvi, a religious man summoned to the mansion to marry the couple off, stepped forth
and sat next to him. The women seated opposite with the bride in the centre of the group, her
face covered with a heavy veil. “Let us now proceed in the name of Allah, to marry these two
children in holy matrimony”. The event moved swiftly for the next half an hour and finally the
papers were signed. He was married.
The group of men and women congratulated each other and the women hurriedly started to
guide the bride to the carriage outside.
“Wait” He said over the loud noises “I would like to see my bride before we leave.” His mother
seemed nervous, so did the rest. She nodded and slowly lifted the veil off of the girl’s head. He
stood there stunned and had to grip the side of the chair next to him.
He could not believe what he saw. He was looking in to a pair of large warm hazel eyes of a
smiling child. His words came slowly wrapped in bitterness “How old is she?”
“Nine” answered his father. The last she remembered of her wedding day was her groom
storming out of the house without a second glance.
***
She was running across the airport from end to end trying to search for the terminal. The gate
number on her ticket showed 15 but she constantly circled the same four gates. This was
getting ridiculous. After the day she had had, this is the last thing she needed. Her life was a
mess; her baggage had been opened thrice by the security checks for God knows what reasons
and her mobile battery had died out.
She finally decided to ask one of the duty free shops for help. A middle aged man at a gift shop
seemed like a friendly face to ask for help. She made her way to him, held out her ticket and
began talking without pausing to listen to the man. Humored by her behavior, he turned her to
the opposite direction and pointed at the yellow sign that read “Gate 15” right ahead of her.
She thanked the man; her face flushed with embarrassment and ran to take a seat closest to
the terminal door.
Now safely seated close to the door, she finally spared herself a breath or two and started to
fish for a novel in her purse. The bag was full with things since she did not have the time or
patience to clear it out before leaving for the airport. She found the book and quickly dropped
the very same minute. Swearing under her breath she bent to pick it up but a hand had already
did the job for her and was holding it out to her. Her eyes followed their way up to the man’s
hand onto his face. He smiled and offered her book back. He took the seat beside her and
stared outside the windows over to the airplanes.
“First time to England?” She asked
“Yeah”. He answered.
“Running away?” she continued with a smile.
“Finding my way” He answered with a reserved emotion.
“Same here, Hi…” She turned to him with a nervous smile and offered her hand.
“Hi…” he met her with the same look and it all began with just that handshake.
***

Knot over my Life

  • 1.
    Prologue Who is abride? She wondered. What does she look like? She looked at herself in the mirror. How does this word change who she is? She was confused. Yet, all of the questions seemed meaningless in front of all the happiness she was surrounded by. There was noise, so loud she could feel the floor beneath her tremble with the echoes of laughter. There were lights, everywhere so bright and colorful it made her eyes dance with excitement. And then there was she, the bride. She seemed to be the attention of it all. Her reflection surely lied to her for she had never seen herself so beautiful. There was a light shade of pink on her lips and cheeks which made her feel like the inside of a rose bud. Her hands were decorated with floral prints from the henna and multi-colored bangles dangled in her wrists. The rubies in her ears were definitely alight with fire for they burned with such beauty. Her dress was the most gorgeous piece of clothing she ever wore, embroidered with delicate work of silk threads and tiny pearls which seemed like stars stitched to the body of her skirts. She was caught in the awe of all of it. Yet, somehow the feeling of some faint injustice tugged at her conscience. Her mother assured her all was going to be well once she safely reaches her home, her new home. A few days ago her mother had revealed to her the news about her father’s announcement to wed her. She had not understood it at all. The very thought of leaving her parents house, her house, formed bile in her stomach which insisted upon being expelled. She wept in her mother’s arms holding on to her warmth. Her mother slowly and gently choosing her words told her the story of her wedding. It seemed to soothe her and with each passing minute the thought of being wed did not seem so absurd. Her parents had had a happy life together however she still insisted against the arrangement. Her father hearing her decision gave a shake of his head and resumed to his chambers. The next day, the entire family was driven to another estate much larger with lush gardens and people at each corner. She kept close to her mother and touched each object, wall and room with her eyes. They met with a family who seemed as pleasant as their own and stayed the night. That was the night she saw him. She had walked out of bed to get a glass of water and wandered downstairs. In a matter of minutes she was lost in the mansion & tried hard to remember her way back to the room. She walked in to a dimly lit corridor and lowered her breathing not to awaken the demons that may haunt this dark passageway. That’s when she heard him. “Are you lost?” is all he had said, she turned to his voice and knew he was her savior. “Let me show you to your room” he gently took her hand and brought her back to where she belonged.
  • 2.
    Now, days latershe was preparing to be his bride. All those terrifying thoughts which had been taking refuge in her mind recently, seemed to grow mute just by remembering his kind eyes. “Is she ready?” her aunt asked knocking on the door. “Yes” Turning back to face her aunt, she answered eagerly instead of her mother. *** He was waiting in the sitting room with half a dozen men around him, chatting, sipping tea and enjoying themselves where he wasn’t. There were plenty of places he could think of he’d rather be than here. Anywhere but here he kept thinking in his head. He stared in to the faces of his relatives and his father’s friends, all joyous and satisfied with the event taking forth. How is it that he feels the worst on a day he should be blessing the God for a new chapter in his life. But he knew, this chapter was not one he wished to read or turn a page to know what’s coming next. He did not anticipate any of it. All he could think of is to be done with the whole matter as quickly as possible so he could return to the life he had left elsewhere. However he knew he would have to stay for the sake of his father’s stubbornness. He would make peace with the decision eventually and vowed to himself he would not make his bride’s life any more difficult than what their parents had made. He fidgeted with the flowers draped around his neck. The thought of arranged marriage was not one he thought wrong in any manner but what bothered him was not seeing his bride. Not knowing the person she is and the person she might be to him. He did not know anything of his to-be wife and that is how his mother wished it to be so that he does not break off the engagement out of arrogance. Why did they have to do this? Was there no other way to solve his father’s problems? Could he not give him some time to come up with a solution apart from this? These questions had been asked and went unanswered. His father, like many of the men in his family would not listen to their sons for they deemed themselves far more experienced and wise. He did not argue, he could not. There is no sense in shouting when there was no one willing to listen. He inhaled heavily and looked up at the clock hanging on the wall. He would be watching a football match if he were back home, probably having a great time with his friends with not a care in the world. The door to the sitting room creaked open and he saw his aunt’s and mother emerge with the bride hidden between the mass of giggling women. The maulvi, a religious man summoned to the mansion to marry the couple off, stepped forth and sat next to him. The women seated opposite with the bride in the centre of the group, her face covered with a heavy veil. “Let us now proceed in the name of Allah, to marry these two
  • 3.
    children in holymatrimony”. The event moved swiftly for the next half an hour and finally the papers were signed. He was married. The group of men and women congratulated each other and the women hurriedly started to guide the bride to the carriage outside. “Wait” He said over the loud noises “I would like to see my bride before we leave.” His mother seemed nervous, so did the rest. She nodded and slowly lifted the veil off of the girl’s head. He stood there stunned and had to grip the side of the chair next to him. He could not believe what he saw. He was looking in to a pair of large warm hazel eyes of a smiling child. His words came slowly wrapped in bitterness “How old is she?” “Nine” answered his father. The last she remembered of her wedding day was her groom storming out of the house without a second glance. *** She was running across the airport from end to end trying to search for the terminal. The gate number on her ticket showed 15 but she constantly circled the same four gates. This was getting ridiculous. After the day she had had, this is the last thing she needed. Her life was a mess; her baggage had been opened thrice by the security checks for God knows what reasons and her mobile battery had died out. She finally decided to ask one of the duty free shops for help. A middle aged man at a gift shop seemed like a friendly face to ask for help. She made her way to him, held out her ticket and began talking without pausing to listen to the man. Humored by her behavior, he turned her to the opposite direction and pointed at the yellow sign that read “Gate 15” right ahead of her. She thanked the man; her face flushed with embarrassment and ran to take a seat closest to the terminal door. Now safely seated close to the door, she finally spared herself a breath or two and started to fish for a novel in her purse. The bag was full with things since she did not have the time or patience to clear it out before leaving for the airport. She found the book and quickly dropped the very same minute. Swearing under her breath she bent to pick it up but a hand had already did the job for her and was holding it out to her. Her eyes followed their way up to the man’s hand onto his face. He smiled and offered her book back. He took the seat beside her and stared outside the windows over to the airplanes. “First time to England?” She asked “Yeah”. He answered.
  • 4.
    “Running away?” shecontinued with a smile. “Finding my way” He answered with a reserved emotion. “Same here, Hi…” She turned to him with a nervous smile and offered her hand. “Hi…” he met her with the same look and it all began with just that handshake. ***