This document provides an autobiographical account of the author's relationship with a girl named Chloe over the course of two years. They began as friends who would get energy drinks together, then started a romantic relationship. However, the relationship was tumultuous, with periods of intimacy followed by arguments and breakups. Eventually Chloe started dating another boy, which caused the author great emotional distress and led to self-destructive behaviors involving excessive energy drink consumption. The story explores the highs and lows of the author's relationship with Chloe.

1. Boost
A treatment by Rufus Williams
The film is based on a real life experience. Two years
ago I had a ‘walking home buddy.’ She was a girl.
Everyday we would go inside a shop and by a massive can
of RED BULL. We would flirt yet she was distant
physiaacly we never did sexul activerty. she and I were
happy we would laugh with are friends we would share
secretes. This lasted for 2 years. Then something amazing
happened, my friend had a sister. Who judged me on what
my friend would say, for instance, ‘Cute Funy’ ECT I was
on holiday when suddenly my Mobile phone vibrated and I
raced to it, a text message read, ‘hey babes.’ My heart
was racing I replied haste fully. We Texted all through
the holiday. The plane came down I landed in Heathrow
airport. A couple of days later filled with ‘Naughtie
texts, and a friend who knew Chloe and her sister invited
me to a birthday party that was the first time me and
Chloe laid eyes on eachother. I walked slowly towards her
it was as if time itself didn’t exist. I bowed down and
kissed her gentle lips. I regained myself and walked out.
Chloe was nervous so she walked with her friends I was
fine with that. We arrived at another friends house. We
had some Birthday food and cake we all sat down and
watched a ‘Chick Flick.’ After the film, I plunged up the
courage and said, ‘wanna chill on the couch.’ She nodded
we sat down there was a horrendous silence, she suddenly
lunged at me her tongue moved like a heavenly snake
around my mouth. I have never done Heroin but I imagine
it feels a bit like that kiss. Her sister ran towards us
and had ‘shi* fit.’ Threating to tell her, up tight far
right reliougs parents what we did, I knew I would never
feel that tongue again. Few days later the phone rang it
was the fate bearer e.g. Chloe’s mum. She told my mum
that she had a word e.g. shouted hysterically at Chloe
and now she is to petrified to kiss me again, ‘think
again you fat shi*.’ Due to the middle class rules they
seemed more comfortable with me going over to Chloe’s her
dad drove us to Pizza express I watched with excitement
when I saw the car of doom drive away we walked into the
restraint, I didn’t say a word all I did was stare at
her, she said ‘I’ve got to do something.’ She walked over
to where I was sitting and kissed me the same way as she
did before, I didn’t give a dam that we were surrounded
by stuck up social more army then the waitress came over
and we ate are pizza in complete silence, we walked out
for the whole time we didn’t say a word to each other,
she wanted to show me off to her fiends so we go on a
train and waited in silence for it to arrive, it seemed

2. as if it was never going to come and I was stuck in an
emotional black whole where all there was qarkedness and
unknowing. After what seemed an enterinty it arrived the
doors opened we sat next to eachother I asked her, ‘wanna
hold hands or are you fine like this?’ ‘I am fine like
this she said.’ When we arrived to ‘Chigwell’ the first
thing she showed me was her school she informed me that
all the girls apart from a few were, ‘tarts’ she told me
that a couple made love in the school. She showed me
where she goes to hang out by herself, we wonded around
the bulioding again not saying anything at all. We then
exited but suddenly a voice came out of a small box ‘what
you doin?’ she said nothing just walking around, we then
walked to her friends house, which was up a huge hill I
offered to carrie her but she refused, after a guilt rush
for letting her walk in agonie we arrived, she
introduced me to her fiend Sandy her house was massive
they giggled and I introduced my self to the mother, and
her dad was leaving but had enough time to glance me a
dirty look. We watched a Rom Com and left. We walked back
to the station in utter silance again the train took
forever to arrive and the dark qurandecs luked back in. I
walked her back to her house she walked in side, watched
the door close and stood there for seconds and said to
myself, ‘you idiot you were with her for hours and all
the time you said nothing,’ all you did was stare and
nod. I slowly made my way to a bus stop and listend to
sad slow music. The bus stoped ouside the station and I
saw a shop I had 10 pounds I walked into the shop and
replased. Previously I had an addiction for energy drinks
but during my holliday I never used I had been clean for
three weeks but afteter my first and last date with a
girl I relly liked I had the perfict justfication to
relaps I walked into the shop and brought five small cans
of ‘Boost.’ I then went insdie the train station on the
way home I made a another stop and brought some more I
arrived in Hampstead the night was still young I sat on a
bench and drank them all and spewed up, I had some
chewing gum to cover up the smell of chemicals. I walked
into the house and spilled my heart out to my dad he
suggested to ‘call her’ at first I was highly submissive
about doing that but then he pewswaded me and raised some
good reasons as to why I should. I picked up the phone
and dialled her number a tearful voice picked up she
said, ‘sorry for making you feel stupid I normaly am
quite a chatty person I don’t know what happended.’ I was
too buzzed on energy drinks to feel anything but I tried
to re-enter reality and meet her half way. We talked for
hours and agreed to meet next weekend. This time she was
allowed to come to mine after my mum promised Ann to be
a fashitst love block. I meet her at her station, we
kissed for the whole of the train jurny. The jurny went

3. quick I took her back to mine to intoduce her to my
parents, chloe felt uncompfterbale and the sun was up, we
decied to go on the heath. It was a glours sunny day, we
laid on the grass She leaned towards me I looked to her
and we kissesd It was much slower than the other times.It
was as if I was in a different world, were nothing could
go wrong, I knew from that moment that we were in love,
how did I know this? Was not because of the kiss no but
by the way she looked at me it was a look that suggested
claitty and inner peace was this just wish full thinking?
No Due to the fact that she leaned on my stomuc and
clopased in a heap on me I strocked her hair and she
stroked my boddy she awoke after several mintues and I
leaned forward and for the first time wisspered ‘I loved
her.’ She replied with ‘I love you to.’ We went back to
my house, mum was talking to a friend and didn’t hear the
door the conversation lasted enough time for me to loose
my vagility. We laid in my bed, staring at eachother.
That was the best day of my entire life, after that day
all I listended to was regge and love songs. Every
weekend we meet up made me realise how happy and content
I am with my life it was as if nothing could ever go
wrong when I am with her. School weeks flew by all the
girls looked like nothing to me all I cared about was her
since we lived miles away we could not meet up during the
week however we voled to talk to eachother every night.
Ann would dismental the enternet some times so Chloe
could do her homework this made me delvop a haterd for
Ann and my parents had to always comfert me and say, ‘Ann
is just trying to help chloe pass her exams.’ I told my
self this and belvied it and the hated wasn’t soo strong.
The bond between us was unbreakeable we were in love.
Weeks flew by and each weekend for one day was the best
day ever come Saturday eving was the most extitrng for I
knew I would wake up the every next day have a bath and
sprint to Hampstead station and arrive in Mile End EG the
enterance of parradice I saw her leaning on the piiler
and she would hug and kiss me and in no time at all we
would be naked and induce pleasure. Before no time at
all, we had been going out for 10 months that’s when
things went wrong, each night when I would have my dose
of love chat, would be redirected with expleantions as to
how wonderful and ‘cute’ her friends were, at first it
didn’t bother me. But weeks passed and I found myself
bulding a jelloisy towards this. Chloe told me that her
firnd saw an awesome film called ‘The Human Centipped.’ I
watched it that night. I wasn’t scared by it no infact it
helped me get things to perspective. Mabey life is a
Human Centipeed mabey the boyfriend’s shit goes into the
‘Close Frind’s moth’ who then feeds the ‘Just friend’ who
then feeds the accuntionce. Yeh Sounds good and the girl
friend is the syko who stiches them up. I was happy to

4. be the emotional feeder. But then my ego got the better
of me and went on FACEBOOK and saw one of Chloes friends
and typed ‘You eat my shit mother fucker.’ He then
ofcorsse told Chloe who then channgled me. I stiil loved
the idea and thought I had made an enternal world where
all chloes friends who are boys eat my shit. This mind
frame continued and I kept referring to myself as the
‘Feeder.’ This annouyed her because she wanted me to
repsct her firnds, she wanted us to mingle but how can I
mingle with ‘Eaters.’ But our love was strong and she
ignored that part and focoused on my possotive side, but
she still talked about her friends. One day I was on the
heath ‘Moutain boarding.’ But all the while I kept on
remembering all the things she said about her fiends
‘he’s soo fuuny, he’s soo sweet.’ This replaid in my mind
for a long along time, Chloe was out at a school party. I
pictured her making out with some one in a corner. The
image became more vivid. I had some cash on me and I
knew that there was a shop close by. I walked out of the
heath into a little street. I went inside and instead of
buying, ‘Boost’ I got a larger and a pack of Ciggerests.
I hardly ever smoked mabey once or twice but never
brought my own. Due to the shop keeper not asking for
‘ID’ I drank it quickly and lit a ‘one up.’ I sat on a
log and the aclhol quiclkly took effect. I got my phone
out and called her she picked up, before I could count to
ten and calm down I shouted abuse at her, this went on
for quite along time finally I hanged up, it was cold,
just like my heart. I walked home dumped my board on the
floor and called her on skype and contuned my treatuous
and un human rant. I woke up the next day, I called her I
begged for her back she hanged up, she was leaving for
Schotland since it was half term. We didn’t talk for two
weeks. She arrived back and called me on skype, she was
friendly and smiling at me as though nothing had changed,
her Birthday was in a few months and she was planning to
do something, she told me that she is going to’sleep with
three boys.’ I wasn’t really listing I was too entreaged
with her pjhasial expression, I quoickly asked her ‘want
to get back together?’ she said ‘think so’ We talked a
bit longer then hanged up. I was replaying the
conversation and the three boy birthday thing. Apperantly
she was going to sleep with them one by one over the
corse of the eving. I know it was in a couple of months
but still I felt like changgling her idea. I sent her a
meesage on FACEBOOk, ‘It’s great that were back together
and again that out burst that happened will never happen
again but I do feel a little concerned that you are going
to sleep with three boys.’ She responded by, ‘leave me
alone’ ‘what going on I thought you wanted me back.’ ‘I
was joking I don’t want you back’ I ran out of the house
and saw a road cars where wizzing by I thought Jump see

5. that Van jump right it’s comeing it’s coming now….I
hesitated I thought if I do then I’ll hurt every one who
loves me, think ‘Rufus’ think don’t jump go home light a
Fag and sit and think go see your nan or something. I lit
one up and saw Nan we talked over a coffee and told her
what chloe said. She replied with ‘she is troubled she is
not good for you what you had was special but now it’s
gone.’ Her words hurt yet made scence. For a few weeks we
didn’t talk for ages. I was settling in with being single
and doing work. Then one weekend my phone virbeated. It
was Chloe ‘I am coming over today so be in.’ ‘and make
sure it’s just you there.’ I ‘said ok’ she arrived at
eleven in the morinng mum and dad left the house they had
to go shopping. I felt so confused because we broke up
what is she doing taking off her claoths as if we are
still in love anyway monkey see and do. We made love it
felt the same and in a way felt right mabey she was
angery and just wanted to getr even and make me feel how
she felt when I got angery so I geuess were even. I said
‘so what made you change your mind.’ ‘nothing just wanted
a shag no boy will fuck me so I know that you do so yeh
here I am.’ It hurt but yeh I did want some as well so it
was all good. She said we are ‘Friends with benifis. It
sounded cool like sex and friendship the Human Centipped
was still running through my head and I conclued that the
sex stops her from getting a new ‘Feeder’ so I am still
at the front. However her school had different holliday
schedwals and her parents went to wails, during this time
she got talking to a boy from her school on FaceBook. She
returned after a two weeks, returned to school and they
created a relationship. She never went on skype much and
ages ago I delated her number and didn’t want to say so.
I was like a crack head constanly checking skype seeing
if she was ‘online’ I cheked and she was, I called her,
first thing I said was ‘got a boy friend?’ she replied
‘Yeh’ I said it’s cool got some cash so I can just go and
get load of stuff eg Energy drinks. I remmberer My GP
telling me that if you drink a lot of energy drinks you
risk getting a heartattack. SoI told her my plane she
thought it was a bluff. Luckily mum and dad over heard my
plane and said ‘youre not going anywhere’ I bursted into
tears and stabbed a ciggerete on my arm. Dad talked to me
about it for hours. Though the next day mum drove me to
school she forgot that I had my depit card on me and
drove off. I only had one lesion. Afrer which went to an
ATM and got twenty pounds out and went into a shop and
blew it all on ‘Boost.’ I then go underneath a tree and
take out a can. I slowly take out my first can and close
my eyes and surrender my commen scense and let grief and
pantic take me over, my phone rings it’s mum I’ve been
gone a while. Suddenly using the editing tecnquiqe of V.O
(voice over) of me asking the audince, ‘What I am I

6. doing’ I stare at the can that I just finshed, then stare
at the bags lunging with ‘Boost’ I say to myself, ‘Oh
what Girlfriend left you so die’ or mabey stop feeling
sorry for yourself stand up go on stand up. I stand up
get ring mum saying sorry I’ll be home soon but I just
got to do something, mum knows what I mean. I run back to
college see a girl that I liked, walk over to her trying
to act as though I am calm but I am drenched in sweat.
‘Hey how are you? I ask’ ‘I am good looking forward to
the weekend?’ ‘Yes I am though the thing is I just wanted
to ask you.’ I hesitate she says, ‘well?’ ‘Do you want to
see The Perks Of Being A Wall Flower with me to night or
during the weekend?’ ‘Hang on I’ll just cheke my diray.’
She takes out her phone and looks at me and smiles, ‘Well
I am free to night meet outside the View Cinnima at
7:30?’ ‘Sure see you then’ She smiles and winks at me
goes into her lesson I walk home. The song ‘Hold on’ by
Green Day plays Credits appear.