ENG 215 – Appendix A: Peer Review Feedback Form 1 Appendix A: Peer Review Feedback Form 1 Reviewer’s Name: _ Date: __ Writer’s Assigned #: _ Course:____ Section:__ Assignment 3: Persuasive Paper Part 1: A Problem Exists Peer reviews should provide feedback to a peer on the criteria expected in the paper. Follow these instructions: 1) Receive a classmate’s paper from your professor (in class if on-ground; by e-mail if online). 2) Copy the Peer Review Feedback Form from the Appendix. 3) Comment on all criteria, noting strengths and / or areas for improvement on the feedback form. 4) Provide completed Peer Review Feedback Form and classmate’s paper to your professor. Note: On-ground students should submit the feedback form and paper to the professor during the class meeting in which the paper is reviewed; online students should submit the feedback form and paper to the professor via the Assignment Tab in the course shell. Criteria + Strengths Comments < Areas for Improvement 1. Provide an appropriate title and an interesting opening paragraph to appeal to your stated audience (appeal with logic, ethics, or emotion). 2. Include a defensible, relevant thesis statement in the first paragraph. (With revised thesis statement.) 3. Describe the history and status of the issue and provide an overview of the problem(s) that need to be addressed. This should be one or two (1-2) paragraphs. 4. Explain the first problem (economic, social, political, environmental, complexity, inequity, ethical/moral, etc.) and provide support for your claims. This should be one or two (1- 2) paragraphs. 5. Explain the second problem (economic, social, political, environmental, complexity, inequity, ethical/moral, etc.) and provide support for your claims. This should be one or two (1-2) paragraphs. 6. Explain the third problem (economic, social, political, environmental, complexity, inequity, ethical/moral, etc.) and provide support for your claims. This should be one or two (1-2) paragraphs. 7. Use effective transitional words, phrases, and sentences throughout the paper. 8. Provide a concluding paragraph that summarizes the stated problems and promises a solution. 9. Develop a coherently structured paper with an introduction, body, and conclusion 10. Support claims with at least three (3) quality, relevant references. Use credible, academic sources available through Strayer University’s Resource Center. 11. Other Assignment 3: Persuasive Paper Part 1: A Problem Exists A.K.A. American Corporate Values Replacing Family Values Caitlin Smith Professor Neil Conway ENG 215: Research and Writing May 2, 2016 Smith, 1 The topic of family is a common one for individuals around the world, especially those who are working hard in order to provide the best lifestyle they can for their loved-ones. American’s have been instilled with the idea that hard work will lead to a happy and comfortable life, but how much of this time must be spent work ...

1. ENG 215 – Appendix A: Peer Review Feedback Form 1
Appendix A: Peer Review Feedback Form 1
Reviewer’s Name: _
Date: __
Writer’s Assigned #: _
Course:____
Section:__
Assignment 3: Persuasive Paper Part 1: A Problem Exists
Peer reviews should provide feedback to a peer on the criteria
expected in the paper. Follow these instructions:
1) Receive a classmate’s paper from your professor (in class if
on-ground; by e-mail if online).
2) Copy the Peer Review Feedback Form from the Appendix.
3) Comment on all criteria, noting strengths and / or areas for
improvement on the feedback form.
4) Provide completed Peer Review Feedback Form and
classmate’s paper to your professor.
Note: On-ground students should submit the feedback form and
paper to the professor during the class meeting in which the
paper is reviewed; online students should submit the feedback
form and paper to the professor via the Assignment Tab in the
course shell.
Criteria
+ Strengths
Comments < Areas for Improvement
1. Provide an appropriate title and an interesting opening
paragraph to appeal to your stated audience (appeal with logic,
ethics, or emotion).

2. 2. Include a defensible, relevant thesis statement in the first
paragraph. (With revised thesis statement.)
3. Describe the history and status of the issue and provide an
overview of the problem(s) that need to be addressed. This
should be one or two (1-2) paragraphs.
4. Explain the first problem (economic, social, political,
environmental, complexity, inequity, ethical/moral, etc.) and
provide support for your claims. This should be one or two (1-
2) paragraphs.
5. Explain the second problem (economic, social, political,
environmental, complexity, inequity, ethical/moral, etc.) and
provide support for your claims. This should be one or two (1-
2) paragraphs.
6. Explain the third problem (economic, social, political,
environmental, complexity, inequity, ethical/moral, etc.) and
provide support for your claims. This should be one or two (1-
2) paragraphs.
7. Use effective transitional words, phrases, and sentences
throughout the paper.
8. Provide a concluding paragraph that summarizes the stated
problems and promises a solution.

3. 9. Develop a coherently structured paper with an introduction,
body, and conclusion
10. Support claims with at least three (3) quality, relevant
references. Use credible, academic sources available through
Strayer University’s Resource Center.
11. Other
Assignment 3: Persuasive Paper Part 1: A Problem Exists
A.K.A. American Corporate Values Replacing Family Values
Caitlin Smith
Professor Neil Conway
ENG 215: Research and Writing
May 2, 2016
Smith, 1
The topic of family is a common one for individuals around the
world, especially those who are working hard in order to

4. provide the best lifestyle they can for their loved-ones.
American’s have been instilled with the idea that hard work will
lead to a happy and comfortable life, but how much of this time
must be spent working and away from the family that they are
striving so hard for a meaningful relationship especially when a
major life event, such as a birth or serious illness, occurs? With
most of the modern world surpassing our country’s regulations
on family medical leave, it has come a time to seriously
reevaluate our society’s needs regarding the current Family and
Medical Leave Act.
The Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993 has not changed
since its creation except for a recent change in the definition of
spouse as determined by the United States Supreme Court
following United States v. Windsor on February 25th, 2015
which was expanded to include legal same-sex marriages (Wage
and Hour Division, 2016). The provisions of the act include:
The FMLA entitles eligible employees of covered employers to
take unpaid, job-protected leave for specified family and
medical reasons with continuation of group health insurance
coverage under the same terms and conditions as if the
employee had not taken leave. Eligible employees are entitled
to:
Twelve workweeks of leave in a 12-month period for:the birth
of a child and to care for the newborn child within one year of
birth; the placement with the employee of a child for adoption
or foster care and to care for the newly placed child within one
year of placement; to care for the employee’s spouse, child, or
parent who has a serious health condition; a serious health
condition that makes the employee unable to perform the
Smith, 2
essential functions of his or her job; any qualifying exigency
arising out of the fact that the employee’s spouse, son,
daughter, or parent is a covered military member on “covered
active duty;” or Twenty-six workweeks of leave during a single
12-month period to care for a covered servicemember with a
serious injury or illness if the eligible employee is the

5. servicemember’s spouse, son, daughter, parent, or next of kin
(military caregiver leave) (Wage and Hour Division, 2016).
All of this may sound like a wonderful idea, but the caveats
create this well-meaning legislation’s ultimate failures to those
it is meant to serve. The first provision is that this time is
unpaid which, although ample in length of time, is not feasible
for many working Americans to take the adequate amount time
off that they may need simply due to financial constraints. The
European equivalent of the Family and Medical Leave Act not
only provides 14 weeks of paid leave, with compensation equal
to their sick pay, during the event of childbirth or adoption, but
also dictates that a pregnant woman may not be required to
work night shifts, may return to the same or equivalent position
after their leave, and even have the right to request a reasonable
change of hours for a “set period” after returning from leave
(Professional, Private, and Family Life, 2016).
The next glaring issue is that not all employers are
required to allow for such leave under the American Family and
Medical Leave Act. Only businesses that employ 50 or more
individuals must adhere to the provisions of the act, whereas the
system within the European Union guarantees the right to paid
leave for all working adults no matter the size of the company
under which they are employed (Ludden, J., 2016). Even if an
individual does work for a
Smith, 3
company with over 50 employees they must be employed full-
time themselves by that company in order to even begin to
qualify for approved leave. This is provided through the
implementation of a small payroll tax, much like the current
social security tax, which both employers and individuals
contribute to every pay cycle (Talbot, M., 2015). Although
Americans may not like the idea of another tax being imposed
on their checks, this would help to reduce the abuse on the
current welfare system as many part-time employees turn to
welfare as a form of financial aid during a leave of absence
(Paid Family and Medical Leave, 2016). The current social

6. security tax imposed on employers and their employees is 6.2
percent and 12.4 percent for self-employed individuals while
remaining one of the lowest deductions from working pay
(Social Security, 2016). As described in a study applied to the
state of Massachusetts by Randy Albelda and Alan Clayton-
Matthews, economists at the University of Massachusetts
Boston, in 2006: “The total number of family and medical
leaves taken increases by just under 25,400 to a total of
467,962, a 5.7 increase. The total number of leaves using the
proposed program will be 183,981 (assuming two-thirds of all
eligible workers taking leave actually use it). The total cost of
the proposed program is $389 million. Averaged across all
employees, the annual cost is $120 per worker and the weekly
cost is $2.31” (Paid Family and Medical Leave, 2016).
The final major discrepancy between the American Family
and Medical Leave Act and the European system is that the
European system is mandated and enforced by the government
whereas the United States, aside from the few provisions laid
out by the Family and Medical Leave Act, allows each state and
businesses to ultimately decide how much, if any, aid will be
provided for employees (Talbot, M., 2015). This laissez faire
attitude, which has allowed for much of the business growth in
the United States, also promotes companies to work in their own
Smith, 4
self-interest which, given the choice, most would not pay
employees more than absolutely necessary including sick or
leave time. Although employers tend to believe that employees
would be more likely to abuse paid leave, only about two thirds
of working adults would be eligible for the use of paid leave
and would be subject to the same scrutiny to ensure that their
leave is for legitimate reasons (Paid Family and Medical Leave,
2016). Whether the leave is paid or unpaid, there will always be
individuals who will seek to abuse the system for their own
purposes, but that does not mean that the system should be
abandoned due to all of the good that it provides to those who
are legitimately in need of its services and protection.

7. After all of the difficulties that working adults must face in
order to support their families, the shift to paid leave under the
Family and Medical Leave Act would help to make their leave
time that much less stressful. So few changes would have to be
made in order to reach a constructive medium ground between
the American and European leave provisions that it is not a
stretch of the imagination to believe that all of these issues
could be addressed within a single presidential term with
enough individual and group support.
Smith, 5
References
Ludden, J. (2013, February 05). FMLA Not Really Working For
Many Employees. Retrieved April 24, 2016, from
http://www.npr.org/2013/02/05/171078451/fmla-not-really-
working-for-many-employees
Paid Family and Medical Leave, by Betty Reid Mandell and
Randy Albelda, New Politics. (n.d.). Retrieved April 16, 2016,
from http://newpol.org/content/paid-family-and-medical-leave
Professional, private and family life. (n.d.). Retrieved April 24,
2016, from http://ec.europa.eu/justice/gender-
equality/rights/work-life-balance/index_en.htm
Social Security. (n.d.). Retrieved April 24, 2016, from
https://www.ssa.gov/OACT/ProgData/taxRates.html
Talbot, M. (2015, January 22). America’s Family-Leave
Disgrace. Retrieved April 24, 2016, from
http://www.newyorker.com/news/daily-comment/paid-family-
leave-obama-work
Wage and Hour Division (WHD). (n.d.). Retrieved May 7, 2016,
from http://www.dol.gov/whd/fmla/