The document discusses an empowerment program called "Empowering by Example" that aims to help participants identify and change unhelpful thinking and behavior patterns. The program encourages participants to take responsibility for their own feelings and behaviors. It teaches how to challenge unhelpful beliefs and make responsible choices to improve mental health, relationships, and quality of life. Previous participants reported benefits like reduced stress, anger management, and less reliance on medication after learning to acknowledge their role in problems rather than blaming others. The program is open to those suffering from addiction, stress, anxiety or other issues through courses and workshops.

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EMPOWERING
BY
EXAMPLE
EE
INFORMATION PACK
EMPOWERING BY EXAMPLE
WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY IN WHICH WE ARE NOT VALUED FOR WHO WE ARE, BUT RATHER
ACCORDING TO THE LABEL PUT ON US BY OTHER PEOPLE.
LORRAINE BUCHANAN
&
GERRY MURPHY

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EMPOWERING BY EXAMPLE is a practical programme which has emerged from tried and tested life
experience. This programme can be used as either a preventative measure; a tool to aid recovery; or
a tool for education. It has been developed from wide personal experience of supporting people
living and suffering from addiction; repeated offending; dysfunctional behaviours; and issues of
mental health.
The study material specifically targets a range of unhelpful thinking and behaviour patterns. These
patterns have been identified through working with programme participants over a significant
number of years. The material is easily understood. It aims firstly to help programme participants to
identify their own unhelpful thought processes and behaviours and secondly, to provide them with
direction on how these thoughts and behaviours can be changed in order to improve their quality of
life; mental health; and inter-personal relationships.
Programme participants are encouraged to take responsibility for their own feelings and behaviours.
They are also empowered with the necessary skills to identify, challenge and change their unhelpful
thinking and behaviour patterns. This material can be used for any age group from 12 years
upwards. In the past, participants have commented that the programme has enabled them to really
‘see’ themselves mirrored in the material and that this has helped them, perhaps for the first time,
to become self aware and to identify the root of their problems.
Through becoming aware of the consequences of their own unhelpful thinking and behaviour
patterns, many previous programme participants have gone on to learn to make responsible
choices; manage mood; control anger; and reduce reliance on prescribed medication. Many have
also reported a reduction of stress within their close family as just one of the positive outcomes
resulting from participation in this programme..
‘Empowering by example’ offers training in the form of courses; workshops; talks; and seminars.
(Please note that these courses etc. can be tailored to meet the requirements of a specific client
organisation and used to address the individual needs of their specific client base).
EE is a very practical life skills program, which is delivered in a way which helps participants to
identify their own individual problems in a comfortable and non judgemental atmosphere. The focus
is to enable participants to see how they can engage in life in more helpful and health-giving ways.
WHAT WE DO?
We help people to develop an understanding of why we are all individually responsible for our own
thoughts, feelings and behaviours and that neither others, nor our life circumstances are to blame
for our own problems.
We promote, encourage and inspire change, with a view to improving the quality of life,
relationships and mental health for our programme participants.

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THE PROGRAM
Through the programme, participants become comfortable with the idea they are responsible for
their own thoughts, feelings and behaviours by learning to challenge their own belief systems. Then,
through using their own personal past and present experiences, they identify what triggers these
unhelpful thoughts, feelings and behaviours. This in turn promotes learning to make responsible
choices and these new choices serve to improve participants’ quality of life and relationships.
WHO IS THE PROGRAMME FOR?
The programme is for people who suffer from the effects of addiction, stress, anxiety or depression;
people who have behavioural problems which they wish to address; people who struggle with
change, self confidence or low self worth; and also people who work within these fields because the
programme can be a useful tool to help other service providers to identify where they too can use
their own experiences to empower others.
EE
Indentifying
Change Providing
Identification
Feeling
Good
Developing
Understanding
Building Self
Esteem
Encouraging
Responsibility
Encouraging
Change
Motivation
Improving
Quality of Life
Promoting
Personal
Growth
Improving
Relationships
Building
Confidence

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HOW IS CHANGE SUSTAINED?
Change is sustained through programme participants learning to consistently challenge their belief
systems and understand why it is that they themselves are responsible for their own thoughts,
feelings and behaviours.
Expectations
Anger
Disappointment
AnxietyStress
Depression
Seeking
Approval
Low Self
Confidence
Low Self Esteem

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Lack Of
Acceptance
DissappointmentAnger
Feeling
Triggered
Feeding Thoughts
SoundSight
Challenging Self
Why Am I Doing It?What Am I Doing?

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What follows explains why the programme material is relevant when working with this client
group. It explains why, when faced with such difficulties as have been described above, it is often
easier for sufferers to blame others or their own life circumstances for their difficulties. It also
explains why it is that without such help as this programme offers, they may find themselves
unable to make the changes they need to make to improve their lives.
THE PROGRAMME STUDY MATERIAL clearly explains the processes of thinking and behaviour patterns in
ways which help participants to understand and identify what they personally need to change.
THE WORKSHEETS ask questions aimed at helping participants identify their own thinking and
behaviour patterns. These worksheets also assist participants to identify which of their existing skills
could helpfully be utilised to improve the problematic areas of their lives.
All the materials are titled so that programme participants can readily identify which parts of these
materials are firstly, appropriate for them and secondly, will enable them to challenge their own
individual thinking and behaviour patterns. Using these materials also helps participants to see how
to choose and then both practice and maintain their own process of change.
Here are some examples of the individual titles of specific material provided within the
programme:
 WE DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENED
When we were young, we probably all dreamed of the future and what we would like to achieve in
life. We also probably all pictured a perfect life with a nice car and house; the perfect partner; and
two point four children. Later, when we started to feel unhappy, depressed and/or angry, we
perhaps compared the current reality of our life with our perfect picture and thought we had
thereby found the reason for our unhappiness. Maybe this happened through a perception that
other people had not treated us in the way we believed they should have done. We may also have
blamed our lack of material wealth. We may even have blamed our present unhappiness on the pain
and sorrow caused to us by the tragedies and traumas which we have experienced.
We do not necessarily appreciate that we lived in the age of innocence when we were children and
that we had learned our behaviours from the people with whom we had then lived and socialised. At
that stage, our behaviours had no adverse effect because we were neither self conscious, nor aware
of our conscience. When, however, we later left the age of innocence behind and became aware of
our conscience, we discovered that our conscience would prick us when we did something wrong
and that this triggered feelings of guilt and shame.
When we carry on behaving in the same old unhelpful ways, we are often unaware that it is our own
behaviour which needs to change - we perhaps do not realise that our conscience (through the
feelings and sensations we experience in our body) is actually telling us to stop behaving in ways
which are destructive to us.
It could be that we have never been taught that we have become unhappy because we don’t like our
own self. Often the negative thoughts which we have focussed on other people and what they have
done to us, are in fact our way of justifying our own bad behaviour. We may also have learned that

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we should feel guilty and ashamed of ourselves rather than learning to make choices based on how
we can feel good about our self and how we can take control and be responsible for our own
thoughts and behaviour.
(1) What happened?
· This study explains the process of life: the leaving behind of the age of innocence and
becoming aware of body sensations and conscience. It also sets out how thinking /
behaviour patterns and false beliefs around other people and/or life circumstances often lie
at the root of problems.
(2) If things were different!
· This study asks participants to identify for themselves where it is in their own life that they
blame other people’s behaviour; their own lack of material wealth; or the tragedies and
traumas that they have experienced, for their unhappiness, anger and disappointment.
· This study then goes on to explain why the participants themselves are responsible for their
own anger and disappointment and shows them the real reason why they may be unhappy.
(3) If I had!
· This study asks the participants to think about the things they don’t have in their lives which
they think, if they had them, would make them happy. It challenges participants to seek out
what evidence they have for the lack of these things being the cause of their unhappiness.
Participants are then invited to look at the true reason for their unhappiness.
(4) We don’t know what we are doing wrong!
· When we end up in conflict with the people whom we love and care about, we often do not
realise that what we are doing is wrong ............. it was likely never our intention to fight
with these people in the first place. When we are talking to people whom we care about and
they tell us something that they are going to do or buy, we may not realise that when we
offer them our advice, we are doing this because (on an unconscious level) we are
uncomfortable with what they want to do. We may think that we are offering our advice out
of love and concern because we do not want to see them hurting or spending their money
on something that we wouldn’t buy.
(5) What did I do?
· This explains to participants why it might be that the things they may be saying out of love
and concern could potentially lead to conflict and control. It provides an understanding of
the process which leads to such conflict and explains how by taking responsibility for this
conflict, they can improve their inter-personal relationships.
(6) It isn’t my fault!
· This asks participants to identify the times in their own lives when they have entered a
process of thinking and seeking affirmation from other people, which they then use to justify
their own words and behaviours and apportion blame. It also explains the benefits to their
mental health if participants accept responsibility for their own actions.

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(7) What goes around!
· This asks participants to think about the process of seeking revenge and the consequences
of planning and plotting revenge. The aim is to enable participants to let go of their
resentments.
(8) We didn’t know we could control ourselves!
· This explains that many of us do not realise that we react to things which we hear and see
and that we have patterns of behaviour which we fall into without stopping and thinking
about what we are doing. Many of us do not realise that these can trigger our fear or that, in
a split second, such fear can change to anger. This can precipitate unhelpful behaviour and
before we know what is happening, we are saying and doing things that we should not be
either saying or doing. The reason we are doing this is because we are not getting what we
want and we are afraid of our reactions. Very often our behaviour, at this stage, is the
behaviour we have used since we were children. What we need to realise is that we can
learn control over this behaviour and stop it happening.
(10) What we see and hear!
· This study explains the process of hearing a tone or seeing an expression which causes a
chain reaction and what the consequences of that chain reaction might be. It also explains
the benefits of identifying what triggers the reaction. This helps participants to become
aware of when they are in danger of losing control and of saying or doing something of
which they might later feel ashamed.
(11) Don’t react!
· This asks participants to identify what triggers their reactions. This helps them to become
aware of the situations in which there is a danger of them losing control. This study also
explains the process of change which enables participants to learn to both control their
words and behaviours and also measure their own progress.
(12) Anger!
· This asks participants to think about what triggers their anger; to identify what their body is
telling them; and to see the patterns into which they fall when they are angry. They are also
invited to identify the times when they did not go ahead do what they felt like doing...... in
order to encourage them that there are times when they have control.
(13) We thought people should have!
· We all have our own ideas about the way people should treat us, according to the role they
play in our life. When we get to a point in our life where we feel depressed and angry
because life has not turned out the way we thought it would, we often think that it is these
other people’s fault. We compare the people in our lives with our idea of how they should
have behaved and then we blame them for our having failed to realise our dreams. We also
believe they are to blame for our feelings because they did not live up to the role that we
believe they should have played. We believe that if they had behaved differently towards
us, our dreams would have become reality.
· We believe other people are to blame because we have never learned that we do not live in
an ideal world, but rather in reality, where people do things we think they should not do.

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Instead of gathering evidence to apportion blame, we should use this opportunity to help us
consider the fact that we alone are responsible for our own feelings and indeed, have no
evidence that we could have expected anything different from the person we are blaming.
(14) People shouldn’t!
· Participants may have become resentful towards other people because they believe they
should not behave in the way that they have done. This study explains why we react in this
way and sets out the thinking patterns which cause the resentment and hostile feelings
towards other people. The reality of life is that other people do things that they should not
do. Understanding this helps participants to become more accepting of other people.
(15) I wouldn’t do that!
· This study asks programme participants to identify how they themselves react when other
people do not behave in the way that the participants themselves think that they should. It
also suggests ways to challenge these reactions.
(16) Our idea!
· This study gives participants an understanding of how they may have a code of conduct
which they expect other people to live up to. When other people do not live up to this code,
feelings of anger and disappointment can result. Participants are asked to identify when they
sense that this is something that they do.
(17) Nobody explained to us!
· We often do not realise that our thoughts can be the cause of our unhappiness or that we
often feel how we think. We may have never learned that our feelings start with a thought
and as one thought leads to another, the feeling can then become a sensation which we
experience in our body. The length of time during which we experience this sensation will
then depend on how long we continue to feed the sensation with similar thoughts. What we
need to do is to recognise when our thoughts are feeding our feelings and learn to challenge
and change these thoughts.
(18) Don’t feed it!
· This study asks participants to identify the times when, for them, one thought has led to
another and so given strength to the feeling the participant experienced while having the
original thought. The study also explains to participants how to stop the feeling by
challenging themselves. This enables participants to learn to control their thoughts and
manage their moods.
(19) Just a thought!
· This study asks the participants to think about the process of their thinking which stops them
from doing what they intend. It also looks at ways of challenging this thinking and suggests
to participants how to take the actions they need to take to make appropriate and beneficial
life changes.
(20) We thought we treated everyone the same!
· We may have learned that there are conditions which other people should meet before they
can be considered worthy of being treated as if they are one of our friends or family. Some

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conditions are obvious to us, e.g. race, religion, etc and these might not affect us in the way
that the ones which are less obvious can do.
· We don’t realise that when we see people doing something differently from the way we
would do it, this can trigger our fear. The root of this fear is the thought that the way we do
things could be wrong. We have never learned that when we judge people by our standards,
we create hostile feelings and the only person they actually affect is our own self. When we
cannot stop thinking about what the other person has done, this is our conscience telling us
that we are doing something wrong and this can isolate us and adversely affect our mental
health..
(21) We are all the same!
· This study explains how it may have arisen that there are conditions that people should
meet before they are considered to be worthy of being treated as one of our family or
friends. It also explains where we learned to do this.
(22) Acceptance!
· This study asks participants to think about the conditions that other people have to meet
before they are prepared to treat them in a warm and friendly manner. It also asks
participants to think about why they do this and so helps them to be less hostile and more
accepting of other people.
(23) We didn’t know!
· We perhaps are unaware that we have learned to read other people’s facial expressions;
listen to their tone of voice; and make choices based on what we were hearing and seeing.
This message may even have been stored in our unconscious mind when we were babies.
We have perhaps become afraid of other people and how they might respond to us. As a
result of this, we may even have ended up in places we did not want to go; with people we
did not want to be with; and doing things we did not want to do.
· We may have learned to worry about what other people think of us or how they might react
to us. Somehow we may feel that we are responsible for other people’s feelings and so feel
under pressure to do something to change this. We may never have been allowed to make
our own choices because we always had someone telling us what we could and could not
do. We may have learned that if other people are happy, we can be happy and when they
are not happy, that it is our responsibility to give them something or do something for them
to make them happy.
(24) The message we received!
· This study explains how we read people’s facial expressions and tones of voice.......and as a
result, make choices based on other people’s needs instead of our own. It also explains why
we do this and gives examples.
(25) How did I get here?
· This study asks participants to think about the times when they have ended up doing
something they did not want to do because they were influenced by other people. It also
helps participants to identify the times when they have said ‘no’ and survived the
consequences. The aim here is to enable participants to start to make choices for their own
benefit.

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CLIENTS COMMENTS & TESTIMONIALS
"Gerry Murphy has just completed another six week training session with our Get ready for work
and Second Chance groups. The feedback from all groups has been very positive and many have said
it is the best thing they have ever done. I hope that Gerry will be able to work with our future intakes
of young people as I believe that he can actually help them to improve their lives and overcome the
many barriers they face".
Ann McCracken - Training & Employment Advisor.
"Gerry was employed as a consultant and asked to provide 1-1 counselling and group work support
to young people throughout Lanarkshire. The barriers included addiction, criminality issues, mental
health issues, housing and other issues arising from dysfunctional family backgrounds. He was able
to empower and equip a number of our clients with the skills and confidence to face up to their
individual situations and to move forward. Many of the young people involved in the projects would
have been much less able to move forward without his ongoing support and approach".
Joy McCodona - Team Leader.
"I wish to follow up my personal thanks with a formal letter, congratulating you both on an excellent
presentation with our Diploma in Counselling students. The feedback so far has been very positive
and I would like to invite you back on to next year’s Diploma programme. I found your style to be
very warm and encouraging of questions, and again this was received very well by the student
body".
Terry Daly - Diploma Course Tutor.
"Gerry & Lorraine have tutored for the Chartered Institute on numerous occasions over the past few
years on both a marketed and in-house basis. They have the knowledge and insight to deliver
tailored training which results in the development, understanding and confidence amongst
participants. Their background and life experiences are used to communicate with people on a very
honest level. All post course appraisal forms received from delegates have been hugely
complimentary, reinforcing the learning curb achieved from attending events tutored by them".
Wendy Hunter - Professional Development Officer.

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"The feedback from families has been very positive; they feel Gerry & Lorraine are people who truly
understand their personal issues. Their 1-1 counselling, family therapy and mediation has helped our
families deal with the stigma, isolation and hopelessness. The families feel Gerry & Lorraine’s
approach helps them to focus and look at solutions to their problems. We will continue to use the
skills Gerry & Lorraine has to benefit the families we work with".
Patsy Krausen - Family Support Development Officer.
"Just a note to say thank you for completing the 3 sessions for our service users and staff here at link
Up. The feedback from all service users has been very positive and many have said they felt
enlightened by what you had to say. The way your sessions were delivered put the service users at
ease and they also commented on how easily they understood the content of your sessions. look
forward to working with you in the future".
Claire Gallagher - Service Manager, Turning Point Scotland.
"I am writing this with relation to the incredible work and effort that Mr Murphy has carried out on
Behalf of Glasgow’s Helping Heroes and the support he has provided to our client base. Glasgow’s
Helping Heroes have been working in partnership with the NHS and has devised a 16 week Pilot
programme to deliver a package that would benefit the ongoing issues with our clients. The
programme was a 16 week course for 16 individuals who were experiencing issues with alcohol or
drug dependency and struggling with various areas of their life. Due that our client group can be very
difficult to engage with it was remarkable that the numbers for completion of the course was 80%
which far exceeds the estimated numbers provided by most addiction services .
The intensive work that Mr Murphy did within his workshops around our client groups , thoughts ,
ideas and behaviours had dramatic results ,where some of our clients took the appropriate steps to
address their dependency on alcohol or substances , and due to the skills they learned in relation to
their confidence and self-esteem individuals on the group have now sought employment , or are in
discussions to go back in relation to further training but all have reposted back that they have seen
the benefits to the workshops and the teachings by Mr Murphy improve their personal and home
lives , although the programme was based around football 75% reported that they preferred the
workshops ran by Mr Murphy and felt they achieved more by what they had learned by participating
in the workshops.
Due to the success of the pilot it was nominated for 2 national awards and was the finalist in one
category for Care of Veterans and won the award for Mental Health also due to its success the pilot
has now been awarded further funding to be ran as a programme and we will be using the services
and workshops provided by Mr Murphy in all future work in relation to supporting our client group
to address their alcohol and substance dependency and to address their beliefs and attitudes due to
the positive impact already demonstrated".
Johanna McGhee - Senior Peer Support Worker.

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"I am writing to confirm, that in my role as NHS support for Health behaviour change, we have
recently worked in partnership with Gerard Murphy to engage with two groups; people in early
recovery from addictions and ex servicemen. Both groups were facing barriers to social integration
with lifestyle risk factors underpinned by self defeating attitudes and behaviours. Gerard met all the
conditions of his agreement with us and developed a great rapport with all participants.
In both cases, feedback on Gerry’s EE Groupwork was very positive with the recovery group, electing
to pay for extra sessions from their own funds. EE was then embedded within a pilot programme
utilising football coaching as a vehicle to engage with a hard to reach group of ex servicemen
consuming alcohol at hazardous, possibly dependent levels with additional indicators with lifestyle
risk and mental health issues. Evaluations of Gerry’s 8 EE sessions were very high and the
programme itself provided very positive outcomes and was winner in the Mental Health Category of
the prestigious UK Military and civilian Health partnerships awards 2014.
I look forward to working with Gerard in the future and have no hesitation in recommending his
work to your organisation".
James Mc Daid - Health Improvement Practitioner.
OUR WORK IS TO HELP INCREASE AWARENESS AND UNDERSTANDING OF ONESELF, SO WE MAY
BETTER UNDERSTAND OTHERS.
LORRAINE BUCHANAN & GERARD MURPHY
EE
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