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for the to
of a With
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her
her
she
than to capitulate to their
demands, the German government
than to seek aid from a foreign
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http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/grammar-girl
http://http://www.thesaurus.com/
http://dailywritingtips.com/
need needed by
was enacted
enacted
should be encouraging
shouldn’t be upsetting
Today’s future retirees invest in inflation
their lifestyles post-retirement
“Future retirees should invest in 401(k)’s or inflation might limit their
lifestyles post-retirement.”
40 Words
13 Words
In business in many ways
HR Departments business
is very bad
is terrible
Elements of Style - Learning to Write and Review Great Content
Elements of Style - Learning to Write and Review Great Content
Elements of Style - Learning to Write and Review Great Content
Elements of Style - Learning to Write and Review Great Content
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Elements of Style - Learning to Write and Review Great Content

Editor's Notes

  1. 3
  2. Too many writers think they can get away with using ten words where one or two will do. Often they do this my describing the word or concept they are going for, as opposed to simply stating it. This is, perhaps, understandable to a degree. Using the most efficient word or phrase usually takes more time than describing an equivalent concept using more words – and freelancers love to do this because it’s a way of adding fluff without appearing to lessen the value of the content. Take this sentence (read). There’s not too much explicitly wrong with it. Good usage of active voice, positively worded, but lets see if we can trim the fat a little without changing the meaning. (“Instead of X,Y. Instead of Z, A.”). Same exact sentence, but now its shorter, and we sound like we know what we’re talking about – more like experts. So this is better, but we can tighten it even more if we omit the needless words. You’d be surprised just how many words in most sentences can be eliminated or slightly changed to save length. Take this sentence for example “I will have had to have gone to the movies to have had the opportunity to buy buttered popcorn.” It’s exactly the same as if I were to say. “I will have to buy buttered popcorn at the movies.” Better yet, let’s keep working on our sentence about retirement investing. Now we’ve managed to eliminate several more redundant or needless words. (“X, to Y”). What’s amazing here is that while we haven’t changed the meaning of the initial sentence at all, we’ve managed to shorten and improve it a great deal. The first sentence started at 40 words; and we ended up with only 13.
  3. Read this quote and think about its style. It certainly has some, doesn’t it? There’s some urgency, some melodrama, about it. - This was written in 1776 by Thomas Paine, about the American revolution. Suddenly an overblown phrase feels a lot more appropriate. I mean, we’re talking about life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness being at stake here. - What is it about Thomas Paine’s quote that really makes the sentiment stick? Look at these other four sentences that say exactly the same thing, and think about whether they would have gotten the message across to a wartime audience in quite the same way. (read) Gramatically speaking, there’s nothing wrong with any of the other four sentences, and the first among them looks like it expresses the idea the most concisely. "These times try men’s souls.” That’s the AP wire version of that sentence. So why is “these are the times that try men’s souls” so much better? It’s not something as obvious as rhythm and cadence – this isn’t poetry. So is it accomplished through some kind of technical variation? Technically speaking, what Thomas Paine did here was to add an auxiliary verb, “are” – which then becomes the action verb of the sentence; an article, “the” – which restricts the meaning of “times” somewhat, although it’s not immediately apparent how; and a preposition “that” – which makes its whole corresponding prepositional phrase the noun identifier for the article “the” which was added previously. So what does this all mean? Not a whole hill of beans. The simplest explanation is that it comes down to style. But style, only starts from substance. In the same way you have to focus on getting the fundamentals right in any discipline – from writing to playing music or sports to giving speeches – before you can find wiggle room and bend the craft around your personal vision – you have to have to be able to tell good writing from bad, simply written language from a bunch of breezy fluff, and be able to articulate what’s wrong with it and what you would like to see better.