Dare to Care.
A Man’s Guide to
Helping Hurting Men
Dare to Care.
The Crisis
“How to Emasculate a Man”

1.Belittle what he does
2.Make his salary an issue
3.Ask him for help and then do it your way
4.Yell and fight in Public
5.Micromanage his every move
6.Ask another guy to do it better
7.Act like he has no feelings
                            www.Madamenoire.com

        These things happen to men
            EVERY SINGLE DAY!
Seven Huge Sources of pain                      Lust.
men are facing in 2013                          And the desensitization
                                                towards porn.
                     Divorce.
Father               The rising tide of feminism has
Wounds.              caused many women to simply
                     toss in the towel on their
From physical, emotional
                                       marriage, leaving men
and spiritual absent
                                       bewildered and wondering
father’s that clouds their
                                       what happened.
understanding of God the
Father.                                                Sandwich
      Health Challenges                                Generation.
                                                       Caring for elderly parents while
      Physical needs and inability to function
                                                       putting kids through college.
      as used to be able to or want to.
                                            Finances.
                                            Being un or underemployed and
Wayward Children.                           the feeling of inadequacy.
And the guilt and failure associated with
this.                                                        --Brett Clemmer, VP M.I.M.
Where Men Are & How they Hurt.

Trait                            Associated Pain
They are tired                  _____________________
Something isn’t right           _____________________
Plan’s aren’t working           _____________________
They feel “unglued”             _____________________
They feel nobody cares          _____________________
Committed to values,
       not Christ               _____________________
Disappointment w/ God           _____________________

Patrick Morley, Pastoring Men
Discussion Question:

In small groups,
prioritize the top 5
pains that men face.
Dare to Care.
The Challenge
“Carry one another’s
         burdens,
in this way you fulfill the
      law of Christ”

      Galatians 6:2
1) We already carry too much.
      -We must manage ourselves better

2) We don’t know one another.
               ge
        -We must know people better

3) We don’t understand the
law of Christ.
       We must love more intentionally
Discussion Questions:

Which one of
these challenges
is hardest for you?

What’s one thing you
need to do in relation
to these three observations?
Dare to Care.
Twelve Practical
Components
of Care
Jesus cares for a
man named Lazarus.
John 11:1-44
Understand that God always has
a purpose in pain.

                         ve



“This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for
God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified
through it.” – Vs 4
Care, at the cost of being
vulnerable.




“But Rabbi,” they said, “a short while ago the
Jews there tried to stone you, and yet you are
going back?” – vs 8
Define reality. Don’t over use
confusing euphemisms!




So then he told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead” –
Vs 11 & 15
Care Together!




“Let us go, that we may die with him”. Vs 16
To difficult questions, affirm
Jesus’ statements.



Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the
life. The one who believes in me will live, even
though they die; and whoever lives by
believing in me will never die. Do you believe
this?” – Vs 25-26
Enter in to Men’s pain. Let this
motivate you.




“…he was deeply moved in spirit and
troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked.
Vs 33-34
Get mad at the root of sin, not
the consequence of death.

                       Pra




“Jesus wept” – Vs 35
Realize that carrying one
another burdens can really stink
at times.



“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead
man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has
been there four days.” – Vs 39
Always seek and keep before
you the redemptive glory of
God.
                         -V




Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you
believe, you will see the glory of God? – Vs 40
Pray often so that God and men
hear.

                         -



“I knew that you always hear me, but I said this
for the benefit of the people standing here, that
they may believe that you sent me.” – Vs 42
Help people move forward.




Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes
and let him go.” – Vs 44
Discussion Questions:

Which component are
you strongest and weakest
at?

Think of a man in your
ministry. Which principle
do you need to apply in your care?
Dare to Care.
Questions and Answers
Dare to Care.
Helpful Resources
Pastoring Men – Patrick Morley

Man Alive – Patrick Morley

The Blessing – Smalley & Trent

The Divine Mentor – Wayne Cordeiro

Over the Edge – Jared Feria

Waking the Dead – John Eldridge

When Men think Private Thoughts – MacDonald

Restoring your Broken World – MacDonald.

When Good men are tempted - Perkins
Dare to Care.
A Man’s Guide to
Helping Hurting Men.

FUEL 2013: Helping Hurting Men

  • 1.
    Dare to Care. AMan’s Guide to Helping Hurting Men
  • 2.
  • 3.
    “How to Emasculatea Man” 1.Belittle what he does 2.Make his salary an issue 3.Ask him for help and then do it your way 4.Yell and fight in Public 5.Micromanage his every move 6.Ask another guy to do it better 7.Act like he has no feelings www.Madamenoire.com These things happen to men EVERY SINGLE DAY!
  • 4.
    Seven Huge Sourcesof pain Lust. men are facing in 2013 And the desensitization towards porn. Divorce. Father The rising tide of feminism has Wounds. caused many women to simply toss in the towel on their From physical, emotional marriage, leaving men and spiritual absent bewildered and wondering father’s that clouds their what happened. understanding of God the Father. Sandwich Health Challenges Generation. Caring for elderly parents while Physical needs and inability to function putting kids through college. as used to be able to or want to. Finances. Being un or underemployed and Wayward Children. the feeling of inadequacy. And the guilt and failure associated with this. --Brett Clemmer, VP M.I.M.
  • 5.
    Where Men Are& How they Hurt. Trait Associated Pain They are tired _____________________ Something isn’t right _____________________ Plan’s aren’t working _____________________ They feel “unglued” _____________________ They feel nobody cares _____________________ Committed to values, not Christ _____________________ Disappointment w/ God _____________________ Patrick Morley, Pastoring Men
  • 6.
    Discussion Question: In smallgroups, prioritize the top 5 pains that men face.
  • 7.
  • 8.
    “Carry one another’s burdens, in this way you fulfill the law of Christ” Galatians 6:2
  • 9.
    1) We alreadycarry too much. -We must manage ourselves better 2) We don’t know one another. ge -We must know people better 3) We don’t understand the law of Christ. We must love more intentionally
  • 10.
    Discussion Questions: Which oneof these challenges is hardest for you? What’s one thing you need to do in relation to these three observations?
  • 11.
    Dare to Care. TwelvePractical Components of Care Jesus cares for a man named Lazarus. John 11:1-44
  • 12.
    Understand that Godalways has a purpose in pain. ve “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” – Vs 4
  • 13.
    Care, at thecost of being vulnerable. “But Rabbi,” they said, “a short while ago the Jews there tried to stone you, and yet you are going back?” – vs 8
  • 14.
    Define reality. Don’tover use confusing euphemisms! So then he told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead” – Vs 11 & 15
  • 15.
    Care Together! “Let usgo, that we may die with him”. Vs 16
  • 16.
    To difficult questions,affirm Jesus’ statements. Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” – Vs 25-26
  • 17.
    Enter in toMen’s pain. Let this motivate you. “…he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked. Vs 33-34
  • 18.
    Get mad atthe root of sin, not the consequence of death. Pra “Jesus wept” – Vs 35
  • 19.
    Realize that carryingone another burdens can really stink at times. “But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.” – Vs 39
  • 20.
    Always seek andkeep before you the redemptive glory of God. -V Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God? – Vs 40
  • 21.
    Pray often sothat God and men hear. - “I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.” – Vs 42
  • 22.
    Help people moveforward. Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.” – Vs 44
  • 23.
    Discussion Questions: Which componentare you strongest and weakest at? Think of a man in your ministry. Which principle do you need to apply in your care?
  • 24.
  • 25.
  • 26.
    Pastoring Men –Patrick Morley Man Alive – Patrick Morley The Blessing – Smalley & Trent The Divine Mentor – Wayne Cordeiro Over the Edge – Jared Feria Waking the Dead – John Eldridge When Men think Private Thoughts – MacDonald Restoring your Broken World – MacDonald. When Good men are tempted - Perkins
  • 27.
    Dare to Care. AMan’s Guide to Helping Hurting Men.