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Creating Worklife balance
- 1. Creating Life/Work Balance TooBusy Making a Living, You Have No Time to Make a Life? Essential Strategies to living a well-balanced life while reducing stress. With Marni Blythe Borelli, Life & Business Coach Designed exclusively for:
- 2. Welcome and Introductions Marni Borelli, Life & Business Coach Co-Owner, Dragonfly Health & Fitness in Holly Springs, NC
- 3. Today’s Agenda Whatis work/life balance discussion What it means to be balanced How to find your balance 10 steps to find your balance Possible obstacles Thank you for coming!
- 4. Why Do YouWant Work/Life Balance? Let’s go around the room and discuss… Why do we want this? What does work/life balance mean to you?
- 5. What Does itMean to Be Balanced? To me, it means that you have a handle on the the various elements in your life and your heart or mind aren’t being pulled too hard in any direction. More often than not, you feel calm, grounded, clear-headed, and motivated.
- 6. How Do YouFind Your Balance? 2 categories: internal and external. Often times, people focus on one more than the other. If you focus on external things too much–like work, relationships, and activities, you may pay very little attention to what is going on inside your heart and mind. If you spend too much time being self reflective (internal), you sometimes miss out on the experience of living. Other people may be fairly balanced between the two but might want to balance out some specific elements within each category.
- 7. Internal: Mind, Heart,Health Element How it Relates Mind Challenging yourself intellectually vs. creating opportunities for your mind to rest Heart Giving love vs. receiving love Health Eating, drinking, exercising properly vs. resting and treating yourself to some extra yummies
- 8. External (Work, Social,Family, Fun) Element How it Relates Work Pushing yourself to achieve goals vs. seeing the bigger picture and enjoying the ride Social Satisfying your social desires vs. taking time for yourself Family Fulfilling your familial responsibilities vs. creating healthy boundaries Fun Allocating time for things you enjoy doing vs. making sure you don’t overdo it
- 9. Achieving Balance Let’s BeginGoing through Our 10 Steps Now
- 10. Step 1: Acknowledgeand Examine Take a few minutes now, lets take a look at your life, your state of mind, and how you’re feeling. Be honest with yourself and notice the areas of your life that you’re neglecting. YOUR AWARENESS IS KEY TO YOUR HAPPINESS AND BALANCE
- 11. Step 2: Settinggoals for ourselves Look at the outline to help you decide which ways you want to balance your life. Make a list. What are some goals you might want to set for yourself? I want to create more time for family… I want to create more time for fun…
- 12. Step 3: Plantasks Make a list of daily, weekly, and monthly tasks that you will need to do to achieve each of these goals. Time management comes into play here!
- 13. Step 4: TimeAudit For one week, try keeping a log of everything you do professionally and personally, from washing laundry to browsing Pinterest. Then go over the lists, pinpoint …what do I need… to start doing? To stop doing? What do I want to do… more of? less of? Differently? YOU HAVE CHOICES!
- 14. Step 5: Prioritize We all like to be over-achievers! Someone says, “achieve,” and we jump right to it. We even achieve multiple things at once. We make lists of projects we have to do. Then each project becomes a collection of to-do items. We add those to our to-do list. Pretty soon, we have more to-do items than Imelda Marcos has shoes
- 15. Step 5: Howto Prioritize You can have it all… you just can’t have it all at once. “We’ll never make it to every social event while also working extra hours and making home-cooked meals every night…. we have to prioritize!”
- 16. Step 5: Howto Prioritize Urgency and Importance Are Different Urgent Important
- 17. Step 5: Howto Prioritize When setting priorities, decide which quadrant your activity belongs in. Then use the quadrant to prioritize the activity. Quadrant 1 Quadrant 2 Quadrant 3 Quadrant 4
- 18. Step 5: Howto Prioritize Quadrant 1 = OMIGOSH!
- 19. Step 5: Howto Prioritize Quadrant 2: Quadrant of Becoming Awesome! Most of the things we need to do to become awesome are important, but not urgent. Long-term planning, classes, time with your significant other & friends, personal development, rest and relaxation, recaulking the bathtub… Visiting quadrant II will help you to create the infrastructure that will handle emergencies in quad 1 before they become urgent. BIGGEST BOOST QUADRANT !
- 20. Step 5: Howto Prioritize Quadrant III: Temptation! These are things that aren’t important, but they sure are “urgent.” “Time suckers” – things that seem like they urgent and important… give us a shot of adrenaline and make us feel like we were productive. Not-quite-emergencies often fall into quadrant III. “My nails look terrible and everyone will notice and will think terrible thoughts…this is urgent.”
- 21. Step 5: Howto Prioritize Quadrant IV: Time Wasters! Stuff that’s neither urgent nor important. Watching Real Housewives, some meetings, many emails fit in Q4, checking your Facebook. Next time you feel tempted to do something in quadrant IV, do something useful instead, like something in quadrant II – like make plans with a friend or family member!
- 22. Step 6: Reflect What is the most important thing you’ve accomplished in the past? How did you stay focused toward this goal? How did you handle your fears, doubts, anxieties, worries, and negative self talk? How does it feel to know that you accomplished the goal in spite of these parts of yourself?
- 23. Step 7: Prepare What is your inner “stuff” that will try to keep you from sticking to your plan? (i.e. fears, worries, doubts, negative self talk etc.) Can you specify the things you will say to yourself to push you off track? (i.e. “just one more bite, I’ll start eating better tomorrow”) Make a list.
- 24. Step 8: Empower What do you need to remember in those times? What are things you can say to that self- sabotaging part of yourself? Be kind to yourself. Balance won’t feel good if you’re cruel to yourself in creating it! Be aware of the obstacles!
- 25. Obstacles to Overcome… Check your engine light!
- 26. Obstacle: Create HealthyBoundaries When our boundaries are weak, unguarded, or unclear, we let in all sorts of stuff that isn’t actually our stuff, and we give away our own personal energy unconsciously. Breach of your energetic security system and a leak of your own personal energy. You’re looking at warning signs indicating that some work needs to be done, some boundaries need to be shored up, and you need to return to center.
- 27. Obstacle: How toCreate Healthy Boundaries Grounding is akin to the way a tree sinks her roots to stay secure in a storm. It’s the first tool in creating healthy boundaries—nurturing a connection with ourselves, our centers.
- 28. Obstacle: How toCreate Healthy Boundaries There are as many ways to ground as there are people. I like to take five minutes to actually imagine my root system connecting me into the earth, like a giant oak tree. Here are some other ideas (all these are great stress reducers!): Meditating Saying a prayer, affirmation, or mantra in the shower in the morning Offering a blessing over your morning meal or beverage Chanting or repeating affirmations in your head as you walk to work Try different ways—you’ll find the one that works for you! Get an “anchor” to bring you back! Come back to this anytime you are feeling “off balance”
- 29. Obstacle: Notice thepeople and places that tend to drain you Before engaging, take a few minutes to imagine breathing a bubble of protective energy around you. Think of it as a space that will only allow love and positivity inside it, deflecting anything else. Really see it and really feel the force of it around you. Then recognize what you need to do to maintain that space. Building boundaries is like any muscle or practice—the more you work with it, the better it serves you!
- 30. Obstacle: Overwhelm, Takeit One Day at a Time One clever tip is to combine your work and personal calendars so you don’t necessarily prioritize one set of responsibilities over the other in advance. Each day, you can decide whether the staff meeting is more important than getting lunch with an old high school buddy, or vice versa.
- 31. Step 9: Connect Is there a person or a tactic you can use to keep yourself supported, motivated, and focused in those hard times? Connect and share your inner process with someone who can help you challenge your inner demons, and celebrate your little accomplishments. Ultimately, work-life balance is about finding a way to juggle all the different kinds of relationships in our lives. Don’t be shy about asking other people to help you manage your responsibilities.
- 32. Step 10: Plan Just like accomplishing any goal in life, it takes time and effort to overcome your habitual patterns and create new ones. If you stay on track with this detailed and intentional process for three whole months, then there is a good chance you will create new habits to enjoy a more balanced life going forward!
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- 34. Need extra help? I specialize in helping people: reach a goal, make a change in their life or figure out how to get “unstuck. If you are frustrated with an aspect of your life, not sure how to stop making the same choices you keep making or just want to have more happiness, peace of mind and passion — life coaching can help you. Professional coaching brings many wonderful benefits: fresh perspectives on personal challenges, enhanced decision-making skills, greater interpersonal effectiveness, increased confidence, improvement in productivity, satisfaction with life and work, and the attainment of relevant goals. OFFERING A FREE 45 MIN STRATEGY SESSION FOR ANYONE WHO IS INTERESTED!
- 35. Marni Blythe BorelliContact Information www.marniblythe.com 646-413-4872 marni@dragonflyhealthfitness.com 121 Quantum Street Holly Springs, NC 27540
Editor's Notes
- #9 As you can see, both ends of each spectrum are actually positive; but if either side is taken to an extreme, something that is intended to be positive can end up being detrimental. It’s helpful to check in with yourself to see if you feel balanced. If you feel pulled in any one direction and uneasy about it, these steps may help you get your life aligned:
- #11 Notice if you’re leaning more toward an internal or external focus, or if there are areas within each category that you would like to be more balanced.
- #16 One of the hardest parts of achieving work-life balance is recognizing that we’ll never have it all. That is, we’ll never make it to every social event while also working extra hours and making home-cooked meals every night. Once you’ve decided which responsibilities and relationships you find most important (see number two), it’s all about prioritizing. So cut yourself some slack when it comes to other achievements in your personal and professional life, and remind yourself that you’re making progress where you believe it really counts
- #20 Those are rarely urgent, but they’re the most important parts of life. Do them now! Don’t wait until they become urgent.
- #26 How do you feel when you’re around someone who drains you and upsets you, someone with whom you feel you lose yourself. How does this feel in your body? How does it feel in your mind? How does the presence of this person affect you? Now look at this list of feelings and sensations you’ve made, and imagine that your body is like a car, with a dashboard full of warning lights. You’ve just identified what I like to call the “check engine light” for your personal boundary system. It’s a security system warning that your personal energy field has been breached, and you’re letting in stuff that isn’t yours.
- #28 Our root system is both our anchor and our boundary system. It keeps us from being blown about in other people’s winds. It gives us a way to focus and still ourselves to connect with our heart and our intuition. That’s what keeps us steady and connected and focused.