1. Conflict Strategy
for
Nice People

2. Conflict Strategy for Nice People
Our Main Source
Adapted from
“Conflict Strategies for Nice People”
HBR.org 13/12/25
by
Dr. Liane Davey
Knightsbridge Human Capital Solutions

3. Conflict Strategy for Nice People
Introduction - Main questions
Do you value friendly
relations with your
colleagues?
Are you proud of being a
nice person who would
never pick a fight?

4. Conflict Strategy for Nice People
Introduction - Main questions
Unfortunately, if your answer
is always „yes”, you might be
just as responsible for group
dysfunction as your more
combative team members.
That‟s because it‟s a problem
when you shy away from
open, healthy conflict about
the issues.
If you think you‟re “taking one
for the team” by not rocking
the boat, you‟re deluding
yourself.

5. Conflict Strategy for Nice People
Important
• Teams need conflict to
function effectively.
• Conflict allows the team to
come to terms with difficult
situations, to synthesize
diverse perspectives, and to
make sure solutions are well
thought-out.

6. Conflict Strategy for Nice People
Conflict – Main benefit
• Conflict is
uncomfortable, but it is the
source of true innovation
and also a critical process
in identifying and
mitigating risks.

7. Conflict Strategy for Nice People
Conflict – Pulling your punches
• Sure, pulling your punches
might help you to maintain your
self-image as a nice person, but
you do so at the cost of missing
the opportunity:
– to share your thoughts and
perception about a specific action
or outside behavior,
– to learn new life approaches and
different point-of-views through
conflict situations.
– to identify high risk situations.

8. Conflict Strategy for Nice People
Conflict – What should we do?
• To overcome these
problems, we need a new
definition of nice.
• In this version of nice, you
surface your differences of
opinion, you discuss the
uncomfortable issues, and you
put things on the table where
they can help your team move
forward.

9. Conflict Strategy for Nice People
Strategy 01 – Use a question when disagreeing
• When you need to disagree
with someone, express your
contrary opinion asking your
teammate a question.
• Asking a question will engage
your teammate in a problem
solving situation, which is
collaborative instead of
combative.

10. Conflict Strategy for Nice People
Strategy 02 – Use hypotheticals
• When facing a conflict learn
to use a useful tactic of asking
hypothetical situations to let
your teammate imagining.
• If you are meeting resistance
to your ideas, try asking your
teammates to imagine a
different scenario.

11. Conflict Strategy for Nice People
Strategy 03 – Ask about the impact
• If you are concerned
about a proposed course
of action, ask your
teammates to think
through the impact of
implementing their plan.

12. Conflict Strategy for Nice People
Strategy 04 – Discuss the underlying issue
• If you disagree with a
proposed course of
action, instead of
complaining about the
solution, start by trying to
understand what is behind the
suggestion.
• If you understand the
reasoning, you might be able
to find another way to
accomplish the same goal.

13. Conflict Strategy for Nice People
Strategy 05 – Ask for help
• If a situation is really
difficult to deal with, ask
another teammate to help
you to find an alternative or
an agreement that suits both
involved parts.

14. Conflict Strategy for Nice People
Conclusion
• Conflict is critical to team
effectiveness.
• Diversity of thinking on a
team is the source of
innovation and growth.

15. Conflict Strategy for Nice People
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