teaching children how to dissolve conflict among peers how to develop self

1. Doing the Right Thing:
How to Communicate Effectively

2. Mafia Invasion of English Conversation Club!
How to play:
 Everyone gets up and walks around. You play the game by
spending 2-3 minutes with one person and discussing a
questions from the list of “English Conversation Questions.” Each
person discusses the question. After 2-3 minutes, you find a new
discussion partner.
 One or two people are the “Mafia”
 Everyone else is an “Innocent Student”
 The Mafia kill students by winking at them one time
 If an innocent student is killed, he or she must not let anyone
know until he/she has talked with another partner. After he/she
has talked with one more partner, he/she must go to the
cemetery.
 If you are an innocent student and think you know who the
murderer is, you may announce it to the class! But if you are
wrong, you also have to go to the cemetery.

3. Mafia Invasion of English Conversation Club!
How do you win?
 The Murderers win if no one catches them by
the end of the game time
 The Innocent Civilians win if they can
correctly identify the Murderers before time is
up

4. English Conversation
Questions
 1. Tell me about your family
 2. What do you like to do in your free time?
 3. Describe the best holiday you've ever been on.
Where did you go and what did you do?
 4. Where do you see yourself in ten years? What
will you be doing and how will your life have
changed?
 5. If you could have any superpower, what would it
be and why? What would you do with that power?

5. Mafia Invasion!
DISCUSSION
 Did this game make you feel anxious or
nervous?
 How does it change the way you act when you
feel threatened and worried that something
bad will happen?
 How did it feel when you were killed?

6. Fear
 This game made a lot of people feel nervous or
afraid.
 When people are afraid, it is harder to express
yourself and deal with problems
 Today we will talk about how to overcome these
feelings of fear and do what is right—protect
yourself and respect others—in any situation
 The technique we will be talking about today is
called “Conflict Management”

7. Dealing with Conflict:
Acting Assertively
People often
fall into one of
three types of
behavior:
 Passive
 Assertive
 Aggressive
What do you think these
words mean?

8. Passive: caring only about
what other people want
Passive people:
 Tend to give in to other people's wishes while
forgetting their own needs and wants.
 Have a difficult time saying no to people.
 Often have a hard time making decisions.
 Avoid confrontation at all costs (e.g. not
speaking up when the waiter brings you fish
instead of chicken).

9. Aggressive: caring only about
what you want
Aggressive people:
 Tend to be concerned only for their needs and not
others' needs.
 Easily get angry.
 May shout or use bully techniques to get their way.
 May openly criticize or find fault with others’ ideas,
opinions, or behaviors.
 Often use confrontation to get what they want.

10. Assertive: caring about other
people and yourself at the same
time
Assertive people:
 Are concerned with both their
needs and other people's needs.
 Remain calm and are good
communicators
 Are able to respond in a
respectful manner when there is
a disagreement.
 Are confident and able to make
decisions.
 Are responsible for their own
feelings and behavior.

11. Real-Life Example
Someone pushes in front of you in line.
 Passive Reaction: does nothing
 Aggressive Reaction: verbally attacks the intruder, yells, at him
or her, or threatens him or her
 Passive-Aggressive Reaction: does not deal directly with the
intruder, but looks to others or mutters quietly
 Assertive Reaction:
 1. Describes the situation: “Excuse me. As you can see there is a
line here for the cash and several of us have been waiting for
some time.” 2. Express personal feelings: “I don’t feel it’s fair for
you to jump in.” 3. Say what should be done: “and really think
you should be fair and go to the end of the queue.”

12. What Should Shynar Do?
Shynar is an intelligent and attractive young
woman. Recently, a boy in her class has become
interested in her. The boy keeps asking Shynar to
go to the movies with him, or to go to dinner with
him.
Shynar, however, is not interested. She has nicely
told the boy that she doesn’t have time to go out
with him, but he won’t give up. Shynar is starting
to get annoyed, and maybe even a little afraid of
what the boy might do in the future if she keeps
refusing to go out with him. What should she do?

13. What Should Shynar Do?
What would be the assertive thing to say in this situation?
1. Describe the situation:
“Even though I have said that I am not interested in you as more
than a friend, you keep asking me to go out with you.”
2. Express personal feelings:
“You are making me very frustrated by continuing to ask me out
even though I am not interested.”
3. Say what should be done:
“If you care about me, you will stop bothering me about this right
now.”

14. What Should Shynar Do?
What are some factors that could influence Shynar’s
response in this situation?
 What if the boy is a good friend?
 What if the boy gets very angry and aggressive when
_ Shynar says she doesn’t want to go out with him?
 What should Shynar do if she feels unsafe?

15. Will Darkhan Do the Right Thing?
Recently, a new student joined one of Darkhan’s
classes. While everyone in the class is from Almaty, or
has at least been living in Almaty for a long time, this
new student, named Daniyar, is from a small town
somewhere in the south of Kazakhstan. He dresses
differently, and even speaks differently from the other
students—but Daniyar is very friendly and is trying
hard to fit in. Unfortunately, some students have begun
to tease him. The bullies refuse to sit next to him, and
when he speaks they ignore him. Darkhan just heard
one of the students tell Daniyar “You should go back to
where you came from. No one wants you here!” What
should Darkhan do?

16. Will Darkhan Do the Right Thing?
What would be the assertive thing to say in this situation?
1. Describe the situation:
“Ever since Daniyar arrived, you and a few other students have decided to bully him
instead of making him feel welcome.”
2. Express personal feelings:
“This embarrasses me because it is important that we treat all people with respect. In
addition, maybe someday I will be a new person at university or work, and I don’t
want people to be cruel or mean to me like you are being to Daniyar.”
3. Say what should be done:
“Let’s make it our project to help Daniyar feel welcome here. We are all a team and
must work together. If you don’t like that, then you should not say anything at all.”

17. :::::THANK YOU!