This document provides information on effective communication skills. It discusses key aspects of the communication process including the source, message, encoding, channel, decoding, receiver, feedback, and context. Some key points covered are: - Developing good communication habits like listening skills can improve relationships and productivity. - The message must be clear, concise, and accurate for effective communication. - Encoding and decoding messages properly is important to avoid confusion. - Different channels have strengths and weaknesses for communicating certain types of messages. - Receivers interpret messages through their own lens so it's important to consider their perspective. - Providing and receiving feedback allows communication to be a two-way process.

2. Talking is easy; communication requires greater skill. It demands that we
listen and speak skillfully, not just talk mindlessly.
We must talk “to” each other instead of “at” each other.
Developing good communication habits takes some conscious attention,
but once they become familiar, can be the secret to improving
relationships, increasing productivity and advancing careers.
Good communication occurs
when two important things take
place. The expression of a
thought or feeling and the
effective listening of that
expressed concept.
Establishing fulfilling
interpersonal relationships is
enhanced by mastering the
communication process.

3. Source...
As the source of the message, you need to be clear about why you're
communicating, and what you want to communicate. You also need to be
confident that the information you're communicating is useful and accurate.
Think about your manner of speaking. One
of the barriers to good communication is a
person who offers too much information too
fast. Remember, less is sometimes more.
Your personal strengths or weaknesses in
vocabulary, pronunciation, grammar usage,
and/or body language may affect your
ability to communicate.
This model of the
communication
process outlines the
individual concepts we
need to consider in
communicating our
message to others.

4. Message...
The message is the
information that you want
to communicate. If your
message is too lengthy,
disorganized, or contains
errors, you can expect the
message to be
misunderstood and
misinterpreted. Use of
poor verbal and body
language can also confuse
the message.
Avoid the use of swear words in your message.
They can give rise to disrespect and anger, and
lead to misunderstanding. A person who
communicates by swearing appears ignorant,
rude, ill-tempered, and difficult. There are times,
especially when communicating with authority
figures, that swearing is absolutely inappropriate.
Intense and relentless swearing constitutes verbal
abuse. Swearing around children, who parrot what
they hear, is irresponsible.
A message can be distorted by emotions. Use
care in communicating with fearful, angry, or
frustrated people.

5. Encoding...
Encoding is the process of transferring the information you want to
communicate into a form that can be sent and correctly decoded at the
other end. Your success in encoding depends partly on your ability to
convey information clearly and simply, but also on your ability to anticipate
and eliminate sources of confusion.
For example…make sure you know your audience. The
meaning of some words and gestures vary among
cultures. A “thumbs up” indicates approval in the
United States, but is obscene in the Middle East. An
“A-ok” here means “money” in Japan.
How about the use of “LOL” or “IRS” in written
communication. Does your audience understand these
abbreviations?

6. Channel...
Messages are conveyed through channels, with verbal face-to-face meetings,
via a third person delivering a message, telephone and videoconferencing;
and written letters, emails, memos, text- messages, and reports.
Different channels have different
strengths and weaknesses. For
example, it's not particularly effective
to give a long list of directions verbally,
while you'll quickly cause problems if
you criticize someone or deliver bad
news by email.

7. Decoding...
Just as successful
encoding is a skill, so is
successful decoding
(involving, for example,
taking the time to read a
message carefully, or listen
actively to it.) Just as
confusion can arise from
errors in encoding, it can
also arise from decoding
errors. This is particularly
the case if the decoder
doesn't have enough
knowledge to understand
the message or interprets it
incorrectly.
For example, answer this question:
“Is there any federal law about a man
marrying his widow’s sister?”
Now, if you read or listened carefully to the
message and decoded it correctly, you would have
answered…
“There is no law… to have a widow,
he’d have to be dead.”
How about this one?… your doctor just walked
back into your examination room and announced
“It appears you’ve suffered a deep musculature
contusion.” Can you decode medical jargon
enough to know that you have… a bad bruise?

8. Receiver...
Your message is delivered to individual
members of your audience. No doubt, you
have in mind the actions or reactions you
hope your message will get from this
audience. Keep in mind, though, that each
of these individuals enters into the
communication process with ideas and
feelings that will undoubtedly influence
their understanding of your message, and
their response. To be a successful
communicator, you should consider these
before delivering your message, and act
appropriately.
The new company vice president on
the right is delivering the news…
”John, I’ve convinced the Board to
make you chairman of the Public
Relations department next year! It
comes with nearly 20% more money
than you’re making this year!”
What kind of response is he
expecting?
Is this guy kidding? I’ve been
planning my retirement for
over a year already! They
couldn’t pay me enough to
come back!

9. Feedback or response...
Your audience will provide you with feedback, verbal and nonverbal reactions
to your communicated message. Pay close attention to this feedback, as it is
the only thing that allows you to be confident that your audience has
understood your message. If you find that there has been a
misunderstanding, at least you have the opportunity to send the message a
second time.
Now, does
anyone have
questions?

10. Context...
The situation in which your message is delivered is the context. This may
include the surrounding environment or broader culture (i.e. corporate
culture, international cultures, etc.). Consider these common sayings and
the context in which they might be said…
“The less I know, the better off I am.”
Does this apply in the context of
taking the ACT test?
We sure wouldn’t want to be talking
about blood pressure numbers!
“The higher your score…the better!”

11. The message you send can invite or
discourage communication.
Examples of Door Openers:
"I'm interested in what you are saying."
"What do you think?"
"Would you like to share more about that?"
"That's a good question."
"I don't know, but I'll find out"
"Do you know what that means?"
"That sounds important to you."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Examples of Door Slammers:
"You are too young to understand."
"If you say that again, I'll..."
"That's none of your business."
"I don't care what your friends are doing!"
"We'll talk about that when you need to know."
"That's just for boys/girls"
"Why are you asking me that?"
"You don't need to know about that."
"Don't come to me if you mess up."

12. Avoid expressing only negative feelings. If
you need to offer criticism, try to preface it
with some type of positive statement.
Measure the success of your
communication by the outcomes you get.
Earn the right to be heard. Active listening establishes a "psychological
truth" that states: When you sincerely try to understand another person's
point of view (not necessarily agree with it), then he/she becomes
psychologically obligated to try to understand your point of view. Your
acknowledgement of what the speaker had to say obligates them to hear what
you have to say.
Close the communication gap between your
intentions and your behavior. There is a general rule:
We measure ourselves by our intentions; others
measure us by our behavior. State intentions clearly
and up front; ask for feedback.
Avoid using body language that contradicts
your words — for example smiling when
irritated; laughing when worried.
I don’t want to alarm you by
keeping you here in the hospital
another night, but I do want to
run one more test. Is that alright
with you?

13. Do not communicate to manipulate:
Sometimes we communicate solely for the
purpose of getting what we want, when we
want it, whether the other person is able to
give it or not. Sulking, pouting, threatening,
or cajoling (repeated gentle attempts;
wheedling) to make the other person feel bad
is temporarily effective but has terrible long-
term effects on relationships.
Do not communicate with double
messages: Saying one thing and doing
another -- are confusing. A person’s
actions are more aligned with the truth
than their words. If their words
contradict what they're doing, ignore
what is being said.
Do not communicate to deceive:
Lies, exaggerations, games, and
general deceptions cause confusion
and pain in relationships. Be honest
and forthright; this builds integrity.

14. One of the first things to remember about email is
that, even when speaking face-to-face, only 7% of the
message we intend to communicate is in the words
we use, no matter how carefully chosen. This is why
email messages get interpreted in all kinds of
unintended ways – because when we receive it, we
apply our own filters and interpret it in our own way.
There is no voice reflection. No intonation. One of the
ways we interpret information is very personally. We
read things into messages that may not be there or
were not intended because of our personal
perspective and biases.
As human beings though, face-to-face is still, and may
always be, the most effective means for communicating
information and building relationships. Think of email as
an enhancement tool to effective communication.
Email should not be used for harsh messages or bad news.
Humor, and sarcasm in particular, do not translate well in
email form. Avoid expressing your emotions in email. Once
you “send”…it’s too late to change your mind.

15. Communication is more than “talking” and “waiting to talk”. It must
involve “listening”. There are many benefits to listening, but underlying
most of them is the fact that when we listen, we get to learn something
we may not have known—we rarely learn anything by talking.
How good are your active listening
skills?
If you take 12 apples from 21 apples,
how many apples do you have?
12 apples… that’s how many you took.
There are two type of listening…
Passive Listening: Used when no
feedback response is intended or
needed, such as when listening to
the radio or watching television.
Active Listening: Used to actively
provide verbal and nonverbal
feedback to the speaker about your
understanding of what is being
communicated. Active listening
skills are necessary to carry on a
successful conversation.

16. Face the speaker. Sit up straight or lean forward
slightly, showing an active body state… to show
your attentiveness through body language.
Maintain eye contact, to the degree that you all
remain comfortable.
Minimize external distractions. Turn off the TV. Put
down your book or magazine, and ask the speaker
and other listeners to do the same.
Respond appropriately with verbal and
nonverbal responses to show that you
understand. Murmur ("uh-huh" and "um-hmm")
and nod. Raise your eyebrows. Say words such
as "Really," "Interesting," as well as more direct
prompts: "What did you do then?" and "What
did she say?"
Focus solely on what the speaker is saying. Try
not to think about what you are going to say
next. The conversation will follow a logical flow
after the speaker makes her point.
Would you please put down
your paper and listen to me?

17. Minimize internal distractions. If your own thoughts
keep invading your mind, simply let them go and
continuously re-focus your attention on the speaker.
Keep an open mind. Wait until the speaker is
finished before deciding that you disagree. Try not
to make assumptions about what the speaker is
thinking. Avoid formulating your rebuttal while the
speaker is still talking.
Avoid letting the speaker know how you handled
a similar situation. Unless they specifically ask
for advice, assume they just need to talk it out.
Even if the speaker is launching a complaint
against you, wait until they finish to defend
yourself. The speaker will feel as though their
point had been made. They won't feel the need
to repeat it, and you'll know the whole argument
before you respond. Research shows that, on
average, we can hear four times faster than we
can talk, so we have the ability to sort ideas as
they come in…and be ready for more.

18. Engage yourself. Ask questions for
clarification (gaining a better
understanding), but, once again, wait until
the speaker has finished. That way, you
won't interrupt their train of thought. After
you ask questions, confirm that you have
heard and understand. Do this by repeating,
paraphrasing, or summarizing their point to
make sure you didn't misunderstand. Start
with: "So you're saying…"
Practice comprehension. Occasionally read
or listen to difficult-to-understand materials
to keep your brain sharp.
Avoid unconscious barriers to good
listening. Such barriers may include a
desire to be right, a fear of another’s
influence, self-absorption with our own
ideas, or apprehension about our ability
to express ourselves lest we take our
mind off our own thoughts.

19. Information Questions: How, What, Where, When, and Why?
Precision Questions: 'What exactly?', or 'How much?', or 'Always?'
Powerful Questions: 'What's stopping you?' or 'What are you afraid might
happen if you. . .?'
Reflective Questions: 'So you're saying that. . .?‘
Probing Questions: ‘What do you mean by that?' 'Could you explain that
further?' 'Have you thought of. . . .?' 'What else has happened?' 'And then
what happened?'
Questioning comes at both ends
of the communication model.
Sometimes the “source” poses a
question to stimulate
conversation or get information.
Other times the question is
asked as feedback from the
receiver, asking for clarification.
There are several types of
questions:
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?

20. Difference of opinions is normal. How you
resolve those differences is called “conflict
resolution”. Before you introduce information
that is not in agreement with what the other
person said, you must use a "Transition
Sentence" or risk starting an argument. A
transition sentence provides support for the
person's point of view without necessarily
agreeing with it, and at the same time, makes
them receptive to a different point of view.
People are resistant to changing their minds,
however, most people are willing to "make
new decisions" based on new information, as
long as they have a way to justify their
previous point of view.
There are two parts to a transition
sentence:
1. Statement that supports the
current view (without agreeing)
2. Announcement that new
information is coming
I believe you have a valid point
about getting rid of that
substandard housing, but you’ve
got to find those people another
place to live first! I’ve thought
about this at length. I believe our
first priority is to build alternative
housing, and then tear down the
existing homes.

21. Make an appointment to talk: (a) for a certain time
and place, (b) for a certain issue. Chose a time
when you will not be distracted by other family
members, guests or television and when you both
are relatively relaxed. Sit face to face and keep eye
contact at the same level. Children do not
understand disagreements between their parents.
Do not argue in front of them.
Present your argument sensibly. Know what you
want, and why you want it. If you don’t have a
goal, you won’t know when you’ve achieved it.
Talk about the way you feel, and the degree to
which you feel it. Present your feeling first, and
then the solution you have in mind. Look for
common ground instead of focusing solely on
differences.
Keep the fight relevant. Only discuss the issue of concern. Stick to this
issue. Fight about no more than two related issues at a time.
No degree of physical threats or violence allowed!

22. Make statements that start with “I”;
avoid statements that start with “you”.
Do not bring up past history or grudges.
Do not call names or pin on labels; do
not place blame (do you want to be right
or do you want to be happy?) or use
foul language or sarcasm.
Don’t over react. Be proportional in
your responses; consider the
importance of the issue.
Don't take another person's
reaction or anger personally,
even if they lash out at you in
what seems a personal manner.
Another person's mood or
response is more likely about
fear or frustration than it is about
you as an individual.
You don't have to have all the answers.
It's OK to say, "I don't know.“

23. Remember that what someone says and what we
hear can be amazingly different! Our personal
filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can
distort what we hear.
Allow for the person you’re disagreeing with to
retreat with dignity. How an argument ends is
important. Recognize when a compromise or peace
symbol is being extended, and give the person you’re
talking to a face-saving way out of the disagreement.
There is a time limit. Often a
complicated issue cannot be
resolved in one setting. At the
very least, take a break to calm
down and reorganize your
thoughts.

24. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
(published in May 1992) is a book by John
Gray offering many suggestions for improving
husband-wife relationships by understanding
the communication style and emotional needs
of the opposite sex.
The book, as suggested by the title, asserts the
theory that men and women are as different as
beings from other planets. In contrast to some
psychologists (and feminists) who emphasize
similarities between the sexes, Gray writes
almost exclusively about differences. An
example of the theories it offers is that women
complain about problems because they want
their problems to be acknowledged, while men
complain about problems because they are
asking for solutions.
There is no evidence to support the belief that women speak far more words
than men, as Gray suggests. Although no one disputes his extensive
experience in dealing with many couples, the quality of Gray’s PhD status is
in question. The educational organization his PhD is purported to be from
was, at the time, reportedly a "paper mill for doctorates".
Some psychologists quote
studies that contradict Gray’s
theories. Still others agree.
Some feminists criticize the
book for being patronizing.

25. NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION includes facial expressions, tones of
voice, gestures, eye contact, spatial arrangements (where the participants
are in relation to each other), patterns of touch, expressive movement,
cultural differences, and other "nonverbal" acts. Being non-verbal is a
channel of communication.
Research suggests that nonverbal
communication is more important in
understanding human behavior than
words alone. One study by UCLA
psychology professor Albert
Mehrabian found that 55% of meaning
in an interaction comes from facial
and body language and 38% comes
from vocal inflection. Only 7% of an
interaction's meaning is derived from
the words themselves.

26. Proximity:
Cultural norms dictate a
comfortable distance for interaction
with people you are not intimate
with. You should look for signals of
discomfort caused by invading
others’ space, such as rocking, legs
swinging, tapping, and gaze
aversion. Very close proximity
indicates confrontation and may
cause anxiety.
Eye contact:
Eye contact is an important channel of
interpersonal communication, and
helps regulate the flow of
communication. It increases the
speaker's credibility, and conveys
interest, concern, and warmth.
If the eye contact is too direct for too
long, it can become confrontational or
accusing.

27. Facial expressions:
Smiling is a powerful cue, and the person that smiles is perceived as more
likable, friendly, warm and approachable. Smiling is often contagious.
Can you
read
meaning
into the
different
facial
expressions
shown here?
What is each
person
thinking or
feeling?

28. Gestures:
Gestures communicate loud
and clear! If you fail to
gesture while speaking, you
may be perceived as boring,
stiff and unanimated.
Gestures such as head
nods indicate that you are
listening.
Gestures do not mean the
same thing in all cultures.

29. Posture and body orientation:
You communicate numerous
messages by the way you walk, talk,
stand and sit. Standing erect, but
not rigid, and leaning slightly
forward communicates that you are
approachable, receptive and
friendly. Interpersonal closeness
results when you and the person
you’re speaking to face each other.
Speaking or listening with your face
or gaze turned away communicates
dislike, disinterest, or boredom.
Humor:
Laughter releases stress and tension.

30. Silence is effective - and
much under-used. People
are nervous in silence and
try to fill it. You can use this
if you are seeking
information. You ask the
question, you lean back, the
person answers, you nod
and smile, you keep quiet,
and the person continues
with more detail, simply to
fill your silence.
Paralinguistics:
This facet of nonverbal communication
includes such vocal elements as tone,
pitch (frequency of a sound wave),
rhythm, timbre (quality of sound),
loudness, and inflection. Learn to vary
these six elements of your voice to
avoid the image of dullness and
maintain your listeners attention.

31. Thank You