This document provides an overview of brain development during adolescence and discusses healthy dating relationships. It begins with the basics of brain anatomy and how the prefrontal cortex continues developing through adolescence, influencing impulse control and decision making. It then discusses differences between male and female brains. The rest of the document focuses on signs of adolescence, maintaining healthy relationships through respect, communication, and setting boundaries. It emphasizes practicing thoughtful decision making and asserting oneself respectfully when needed.

1. Loving Your Brain and the Way you Date
Presenter
MaryAdele Revoy, MS
Adolescent Development
Educator and Long Time
Dater © October 2010

2. Baby Brain Basics and
Continue Changes in
Adolescence
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3. 3
Corpus Callosum
Frontal Lobe –
Prefrontal
Cortex
Brain Stem
Pituitary Gland

4. Known as the “the Boss”
of the Brain
It Helps You:
 Plan and think in order
 Control your impulses
 Predict consequences
 Balance the risk or
reward in what you do
 Determine between
right from wrong
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5. Picture from National Geographic: http://science.nationalgeographic.com/science/health-and-human-body/human-body/brain-article.html
Myelin Sheath
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Pathways

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PLASTICITY = The ability of the
brain to change and create
new pathways to learn new
things.
…so as old as your parents
and teachers are,
they can still learn.
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Female Brain Male Brain
 Contains a larger
hippocampus
 Has a larger corpus
callosum
 Has a more active
prefrontal cortex
 Uses more brain areas
for talking and feeling
 Is larger in actual size
 Contains a larger
amygdala
 Has less blood flow
throughout the brain,
including in the frontal
lobes
 Does not read emotions
as well
 Uses more brain areas
for math and science
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EARLY MIDDLE LATE
Ages 10-13 Ages 14-17 Ages 18-21/25
S
I
G
N
S

O
F

T
H
E

T
I
M
E
S
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Hot thoughts and
Cold thoughts
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 You work for the
ideal and what
should be.
 You believe that
you are unique and
that the “rules” may
not apply you.
 You have energy to
keep up with your
passions.
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WHAT
WHERE
WHO
WHY

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Daily Living
[tension building]
Bad Behavior
[abusive Situation]
Make-Up
[honeymoon]
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STIMULATION STRUCTURERECOGNITION
RELATEDNESS COMPETENCEAUTONOMY
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Stuff to do Praise, awards, prizes,
compliments,
Schedule
To have some
independence
To have friends,
member of teams
or groups
To show people
you can do things;
to be good at stuff

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(1) You believe that
you are the
focus of
everyone’s
attention – that
everybody is
watching you.
(2) You believe that
your experiences
are unique and
nobody can
understand you.
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Things to Think About
 Feel good about your decision and you can
always change your mind.
 How do you imagine yourself in a dating
relationship (what would it look like; feel like)?
 What are your strengths and qualities that
make you a SUPER DATER?
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27. © 2010
 How do you feel and think the relationship is
doing?
 What would your date’s answer be to the same
question?
 What excites you about the relationship? Is this
good or bad?
 Are there any items on “Is this what DATING is all
about?” that are happening in your relationship?
 Again, what are your strengths and qualities that
make them a SUPER DATER in Thoughts, Words,
and Actions?
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 Tell them that it is not their fault.
 Encourage them to name their feelings – you may have
felt the same way.
 Let them know it is OK to want to belong and feel special
– it is normal.
 Show them your sheet “Is this what DATING is all about?”
and ask them if any of this is happening to them?
 Help them identify their strengths and qualities that make
them a SUPER DATER – discuss the items on the SUPER
DATER-Thoughts, Words & Actions.
 Help them find an adult they can talk to.
 Continue to be a good friend.
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29. © 2010
 Tell them that their behavior is not acceptable.
 Show them the items on “Is this what DATING is
all about?” and talk about what they are
doing.
 Talk about how they can change their
behaviors in order to be a SUPER DATER in
Thoughts, Words & Actions.
 Tell an adult about what they are doing.
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30. Do I or Don’t I
Attraction
Talk
Experimenting
Respect
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31. © 2009
D
Do I or Don’t I
A
Attraction
T
Talk
E
Experimenting
R
Respect
100 100 100 100 100
200 200 200 200 200
300 300 300 300 300
400 400 400 400 400
500 500 500 500 500
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32. DO I or DON’T I
When making an important
decision, I may try to guess
what will happen or
consider different situations.
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33. © 2010 
DO I or DON’T I
When I make a decision, I
consider the benefit or harm
it may bring me.
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34. DO I or DON’T I
When I have a busy day, I
keep a list of everything I
need to do.
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35. I see a friend getting hurt by
her/his date. I know that I
should probably tell
somebody.
DO I or DON’T I
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Super Dater
Situation
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37. DO I or DON’T I
When I’m having a
disagreement with my date
or are hurt by my date, I
take time to think about
what I am going to do next
instead of just reacting.
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38. Self Image
TRUE or FALSE
Chics dig me.
or
Guys think I’m hot.
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39. Giggling, Butterflies, Passion,
Lust, Sexual Urges
When I am attracted to
someone, I feel?
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40. TRUE or FALSE
People have “friends with
benefits” because sexual
urges are difficult to control.
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Super Dater
Situation
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42. When I want to kiss someone
or do something sexual,
I ask for permission by?
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43. TRUE or FALSE
I believe it’s possible to
have a healthy dating
relationship.
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44. Text messaging; email;
instant messaging;
Facebook; Twitter;
phone; in-person
What are some of the ways
you can talk to someone?
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45. ?4U U want 2 MIRL?
F2F A3
BM&Y URSXY TMB
H2CUS SWAK
What does the
following mean?
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46. © 2010
Super Dater
Situation
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47. Non-verbal
Communication
When I am with my date, I
am able to read facial
expressions correctly.
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48. 0 to 3 years old
What are the best years for a
child to learn how to talk?
X to X years old.
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Super Dater
Situation
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50. What are two key parts in
resolving a conflict or
problem with your date?
Talking and Listening
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51. When playing TRUTH or DARE,
the game is really about?
Dares or the Risks
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52. What is the name of the
neurotransmitter in the brain
that is related to excitement
and helps us pay attention
to what is new?
Dopamine
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53. TRUE OR FALSE
My friends or parents would
call me a risk-taker.
Rewards
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54. What are the most common
things adolescents like to
experiment with?
Drugs, alcohol,
cigarettes, sex, music,
driving fast, internet,
clothes, tattoos
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55. © 2010
Super Dater
Situation
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56. TRUE OR FALSE
When I am doing
something exciting and
fun, I will try to convince
my date to do it too.
Peer Pressure
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What letters are
missing in this word?

58. TRUE OR FALSE
In some situations my parents
don’t respect me because
they don’t know what I am
going through.
Personal Fable
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59. © 2010
Super Dater
Situation
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60. When I am being
disrespected by a date, I…
Build Your Boundaries
Learn to Be Assertive
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61. TRUE or FALSE
A healthy dating relationship
is built on respect.
TRUE
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62. If I see a friend of mine
being disrespected by a
date, I would…
X
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63. © 2010
MaryAdele Revoy, MS
Adolescent Development Specialist
W5062 Green Tree Rd.
Plymouth, WI 53073
Cell 608-609-0342
revoy@whoisrevoy.com
www.whoisrevoy.com
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