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BIG BANGS, MONORAILS,
AND MICRO SERVICES
LESSONS FROM THE GOLDEN AGE OF THE SIMPSONS
VICTOR SZOLTYSEK
VICTOR_SZOLTYSEK@MAC.COM
IT'S GOOD TO LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES.
IT'S BETTER TO LEARN FROM OTHER
PEOPLE'S MISTAKES.
Warren Buffet
HOMER - “I ACCIDENTALLY PROVED THERE'S NO GOD.”
WORST PROGRAMMING
LANGUAGE EVER
AM I SO OUT OF TOUCH?
NO. IT'S THE CHILDREN WHO ARE WRONG.
I AM SO SMART! , S-M-R-T!
Actual Ability
PerceivedAbility
Dunning Kruger Effect
Imposter Syndrome
EASY HARD
TRIVIAL
CONSEQUENTIAL
BIKE-SHEDDING
? ?
♪ MONORAIL ♪
AND THAT WAS THE LAST FOLLY THAT SPRINGFIELD
EMBARKED UPON …
EXCEPT FOR THE POPSICLE-STICK SKYSCRAPER…
AND THE 50-FOOT MAGNIFYING GLASS...
AND THAT ESCALATOR TO NOWHERE.
MARGE - “WE SHOULD HAVE SPENT THE MONEY TO FIX MAIN
STREET”
HOMER - “YOU SHOULD HAVE WRITTEN A SONG LIKE THAT GUY”
WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE OPPORTUNITY COSTS?
LOOK AT THIS, MARGE. $58 AND ALL OF IT PROFIT!
I'M THE SMARTEST BUSINESSMAN IN THE WORLD.
STAMPY'S FOOD BILL TODAY WAS $300.
PREMATURE OPTIMIZATION - THAT’S A PADDLIN’
HOMER I WANT YOU TO DESIGN A CAR
I DON'T WANNA SEE ANYTHING UNTIL IT'S FINISHED.
I INVESTED IN PUMPKINS.
THEY’VE BEEN GOING UP THE WHOLE MONTH OF OCTOBER AND I
GOT A FEELING THEY'RE GOING TO PEAK RIGHT AROUND JANUARY.
RECAP
CONSIDER THE HUMAN SIDE
YOU’RE NOT SPECIAL!
DON’T REARRANGE DECK CHAIRS ON THE TITANIC
DON’T BUILD MONORAILS
CONSIDER ALL COSTS
FOLLOW THE FUNDAMENTALS
DEFAULT TO SIMPLICITY
▸ Premature Optimization / Modularization
▸ Excessive Microservices
▸ Kubernetes + Containers
▸ Scala / Lagom / Functional
▸ Reactive Programming + Premature Optimization
▸ Single Page Apps (ReactJS, Angular, etc)
▸ Programming Languages as Silver Bullets
▸ DIY Platforms / Frameworks / Common Libraries
▸ CQRS or unnecessary eventing
▸ Branching (of any kind)
▸ Staffing
▸ Developer Context Switching
▸ Projects instead of Projects
▸ Developers on multiple products
▸ Over-reliance on off-shore or contractors
▸ Silos and Handoffs
▸ Wishful thinking around Staffing
SMELLS - CHEAT SHEET*
▸ KPI’s / Metrics
▸ Skin-in-the-Game
▸ 2 Pizza Teams
▸ VSM’s
▸ “undifferentiated heavy lifting"
▸ 7 Wastes of Lean
▸ YAGNI
▸ Cost / Benefit / Opportunity Cost
▸ Retrospectives
▸ Autonomous Feedback / Exit Interviews
TOOLBOX - CHEAT SHEET*
END
VICTOR SZOLTYSEK
VICTOR_SZOLTYSEK@MAC.COM
THE GOLDEN AGE OF THE SIMPSONS
SIMPSONS MANIA 1990’S
COMEDY
SATIRE
SATIRE
HEART
LIFE LESSONS
LIFE LESSONS
EERILY ACCURATE PREDICTIONS
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SIMPSONS ?
ZOMBIE SIMPSONS
▸ Move from Heart / Satire to the Absurd
▸ Writing Team Changes
▸ Moved onto Futurama / Conan O’Brian show
▸ Deaths
▸ Phil Hartman
▸ Lunch Lady Dorris
▸ Maude Flanders
▸ Character Changes
▸ Skinner turns out to be an Imposter
▸ Barney gives up alcohol

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