Tips for Parents

1. BALANCE
Today’s Balance Sheet deals with a particularly effective subset of parenting: How to
build a likable child. It is a matter of building – block by block, opportunity by
opportunity. Not so much raising, more like a solid block of raising the roof of a
child’s life, a little bit at a time.
When you “offer” a child a chance to do something that makes someone else feel
good, you are also offering that beloved kid of yours a chance to feel good about
himself. It’s that old win/win situation. Most parents are not even aware of this
double whammy. Usually these parents, being sensitive and caring creatures
themselves, are on a straight forward motivation of doing a random act of kindness
through their child, knowing that coming from a young one it makes the act that
much sweeter. But in the end it is almost always serving up an equal benefit to their
child. As time goes on, the child takes this on for herself and becomes a very likable
person because the kindness extended is coming from a genuinely kind heart.
So where is the balance in this? Well, kids need to, and have a right to, be selective
about their kindness. Constant and forced “giving” just for the reaffirmation of being
pleasing, can produce that dreaded “people pleaser.” Unfortunately for these young
kids, their acts lose credibility because there is a suspicion they are using people and
doing anything to get liked.
This is Balance Sheet part. Sincere giving pleasure (gift or deed) is a great gift to
kids. The other is just another example of parents doing their child the great
disservice of raising “an unlikable child”.