The document discusses assertiveness and effective communication techniques. It defines different communication styles like passive, aggressive, and assertive. It then outlines Marshall Rosenberg's model of non-violent communication, which involves observing objectively, identifying feelings, expressing underlying needs, and making requests to have needs met. The document provides examples of feelings associated with satisfied and unsatisfied needs. It concludes by emphasizing self-evaluation after communicating to improve future interactions.
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31032010 we bbt workshop assertiveness
1. Expert Academy IBBT 31/03/2010
Just Dare!
Assertiveness
by
Frederik Imbo
Assertiveness …
What ?
When ?
How ?
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2. Expert Academy IBBT 31/03/2010
passive
ME - YOU
assertive
ME - YOU
manipulative aggressive
ME - YOU ME - YOU
F antasy
E xperienced
As
R eality
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3. Expert Academy IBBT 31/03/2010
DO THINK
+/- +/-
FEEL
+/-
if you always do what you
always did
you will always get what you
always got
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4. Expert Academy IBBT 31/03/2010
Communication techniques
Communication techniques
Building Rapport
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5. Expert Academy IBBT 31/03/2010
Communication techniques
Building Rapport
The diving board technique
Communication techniques
Building Rapport
The diving board technique
The U-turn technique
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6. Expert Academy IBBT 31/03/2010
Communication techniques
Building Rapport
The diving board technique
The U-turn technique
Communication techniques
Building Rapport
The diving board technique
The U-turn technique
The sandwich technique
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7. Expert Academy IBBT 31/03/2010
Communication techniques
Building Rapport
The diving board technique
The U-turn technique
The sandwich technique
Communication techniques
Building Rapport
The diving board technique
The U-turn technique
The sandwich technique
The broken record technique
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8. Expert Academy IBBT 31/03/2010
Communication techniques
Building Rapport
The diving board technique
The U-turn technique
The sandwich technique
The broken record technique
The Model of Non-violent Communication:
Observations
Feelings
Needs
Requests
Observations
When I
see, I
hear,
I notice…
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9. Expert Academy IBBT 31/03/2010
Observations
When I
see, I
hear,
I notice…
Observations
When I
see, I
hear,
I notice… Feelings
then I
feel …
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10. Expert Academy IBBT 31/03/2010
Feeling when your needs are satisfied:
Grateful Affectionate Confident Joyful Peaceful
Proud Warm At ease/ safe Glad / amused Satisfied
Appreciative Loving Secure / calm Happy Content
Moved Compassionate Determined Delighted Relieved
Appreciation Tender / open hearted Empowered / strong Energetic / jubilant Serene/tranquil/still
Engaged Hopeful Pleased Exhilarated Fulfilled
Curious Expectant Pleasant / content Ecstatic Grateful / contented
Connected Longing Thrilled / overjoyed Eager Touched
Fascinated / enchanted Careless Awake Adventurous Moved
Involved / alert Brave Unconcerned Lively / playful Passionate
Feeling when your needs are NOT satisfied:
Afraid Angry Annoyed Tense Yearning
Worried / concerned Mad / frustrated Agitated / irritated Stressed out Nostalgic
Panicked Displeased Disappointed Nervous Envious
Terrified / petrified Resentful Uncomfortable Restless Jealous
Suspicious Enraged / Furious Displeased Anxious Longing
Vulnerable Disconnected Embarrassed Disquiet Pain
Insecure / fragile Bored / indifferent Guilty Impatient Hurt / miserable
Shaky Apathetic / numb Desperate Surprised Grief / lonely
Helpless / unable Uninterested Confused Shocked Regretful
Terrible Distant / detached Ashamed / Upset Broken / heartbroken
Sad Aversion Unhappy Fatigue Confused
Melancholy Hostile / disgusted Terrible Depleted / mortified Perplexed
Discouraged Repulsed Unfortunate Tired / sleepy Baffled
Depressed / Gloomy Contempt Hopeless / despair Exhausted Hesitant
Heavy hearted Envious / hate Beat Worn out / burnt out Lost/ puzzled
Observations
When I
see, I
hear,
I notice… Feelings
then I
feel …
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11. Expert Academy IBBT 31/03/2010
Observations
When I
see, I
hear,
I notice… Feelings
then I
feel …
Needs
because
I need…
Spirituality
Autonomy
Beauty
Respect / self-respect
Harmony
Choice / preference Inspiration
Freedom / Independence
Contact
Space
Order
Spontaneity
Unity
Celebration and joy
Celebration of life
Celebration of fulfilling dreams Physical well-being
Creativity / pleasure / humor Air/ light
Honesty Mourning Food / water
Authenticity Clothing / warmth
Self-expression Peace Shelter/ cover/ nurturing / care
Self-confidence Empathy Touch / tenderness / closeness
Integrity Compassion Protection / safety / security
Presence Equality / clarity Rest / sleep
Connection / togetherness Sex / intimacy
Meaning Emotional security Use own force
Hope / purpose Order /rest / stability
To matter / belonging To understand and be
understood Mutual association
Awareness
To see and be seen Acceptance
Understanding
Inspiration Appreciation/ acknowledgement
Challenge
Trust Communication/ sharing
Competence
Consideration / mutuality
Contribution
Support / encouragement / comfort
Change
Efficacy
Growth/ learning
… Emotional security / reassurance
Be understood / sympathy
Love / Affection / closeness
Cooperation / solidarity
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12. Expert Academy IBBT 31/03/2010
Observations
When I
see, I
hear,
I notice… Feelings
then I
feel …
Needs
because
I need…
Observations
When I
see, I
hear,
Requests I notice… Feelings
so
my then I
request feel …
is … Needs
because
I need…
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13. ∞
Expert Academy IBBT 31/03/2010
requests
requests
needs
needs
ME
YOU
feelings
feelings
observations
observations
Self-evaluation
Reflect on the result of your communication:
To what extent did I achieve the purpose
of my communication?
What is the reason for achieving or not
archieving my purpose?
Where did my communication go wrong?
What am I going to pay attention to next
time?
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14. Expert Academy IBBT 31/03/2010
GOOD
LUCK !!!
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