Loving others is difficult for several reasons. First, we are all inherently selfish due to sin, and it is easier to love ourselves than others. Second, we often misunderstand love as an emotion rather than self-sacrificial action. True love, as modeled by God sacrificing His Son for humanity, requires sacrifice even when others are unlovable. Finally, trying to love in our own strength leads to hypocrisy; we can only love as God enables us through His Spirit. Loving difficult people allows God's power to be displayed through us and His glory to be seen by the world.

1. "Why is love for others sodifficult?" – 28th
May 2017
"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” (1 John 4:8).
Everybodyseemstobelievethatlove isagood thing.However,notall agree whatislove.Islove that
warm touchy-feelyfeelingapersonhaswhenhe iswitha familiarperson?Accordingtothe Bible,love is
caring inaction.Love isn'twhat we feel, but whatwe do.The true meaningof love,asdefinedinthe
Bible,hasbeencorruptedinthe commonusage of the Englishlanguage andsociety.Mostoften,love is
confusedwithinfatuation - thatelated,"Icando anything…”feelingwe getwhenwe "fall inlove."This
kindof "love"is unfortunately somethingthatdoesNOTlast,andunlessreplacedbytrue love, most
oftenresultsin failure andbrokenrelationships. ButChristianLove isdifferent. The Bibleteachesus that
love isfromGod. In fact,the Bible says in1 John4:8,"Whoever does not love doesnot know God,
because Godis love.” Love isone of the primarycharacteristicsof God. Likewise,Godhasendowedus
withthe capacityfor love,since we are createdinHisimage.
For manyChristianslovingotherscanbe extremelydifficultattimes. Suchpeopleare referredtoas
people whorequire “extragrace.”Therefore itisimportantforthe Christiantounderstandasto whatis
at the heartof Christianlove? Whenwe are able tounderstandthis,the Christianslovewilltake anew
dimensionaltogether.Whenwe studythe bibleitisclearto usthat JesusChristandlove are
synonymous.He is referredtoasthe ‘author’of love. The definitionof love isanintense feelingof deep
affection.We canlearnwhere Jesussaid, “AnewcommandI give you: Love one another. As I have
lovedyou, so you mustlove one another. 35
By thiseveryone will knowthat you are my disciples,ifyou
love one another.” (John13:34-35). Deepaffectionforone anotheriscaringforanotheras opposedto
NOT caringfor another.Whenwe care forothers,itbecomesevidentthathe or she is different…and
everyone will knowthat we are Hisfollowers. We alsocanlearnfroma similarteachingin 1 John5:2-3,
“Thisis how we know that we love the childrenof God:by lovingGodand carryingout hiscommands.
3
In fact,this is lovefor God:to keep his commands.Andhiscommandsare not burdensome..."
ChristianLove isNOTa ‘Feeling…’butaLifestyle!Itisthe desiredwayinwhicha Christianrequiresto
live. Whatdoes"Christianlove"reallymean?Isitawarm fuzzyfeeling? One mayask:I don'thave a
warm fuzzyfeelingforeveryone Imeet,Christianorotherwise…doesthatmeanI'mnot saved? A "warm
fuzzyfeeling"isnotthe biblical definitionfor"love".So,Let'ssearchthe Scripturesandfindout…
A Pharisaiclawyeronce askedourLord, “Teacher, whichis the greatest commandmentinthe
Law?”37
Jesusreplied:“‘Lovethe Lord your Godwith all your heart and withall yoursoul andwith all
your mind.’[a] 38
Thisis the first andgreatest commandment. 39
Andthe secondis like it: ‘Love your
neighboras yourself.’ 40
All the Law and the Prophets hangon these two commandments.” (Matthew
22:36-40). Accordingto Jesus’ teachingfoundinthe Matthewsgospel,the veryessence of the Lawand
the Prophetsisto love Godand to love others.Andwe see thisterm"the Law and the Prophets"usedin
one otherplace inMatthew's Gospel.It'sinthispassage that we findthe Biblical definitionforlove: " So
in everything,do to others what you wouldhave them doto you,for thissums up the Law and the
Prophets."(Matthew7:12). In affect Jesus isstating: Wouldyou wantyourwife tocommitadultery?
Wouldyouwant someone tosteal fromyou,lie toyou,covet yourpossessions?Of course not!Sodon't
go and dothese thingstoother people!

2. We can alsolearnfromthe gospelswhere Paul,commandsusto"owe noone anythingexcepttolove
one another,forhe wholovesanotherhasfulfilledthe law. He says:“Letno debt remain outstanding,
except the continuingdebtto love one another,for whoever loves others has fulfilledthelaw. 9
The
commandments,“Youshall notcommitadultery,” “Youshall notmurder,” “Youshall notsteal,” “You
shall not covet,” and whatever other commandthere may be, are summedup in thisone command:
“Love your neighborasyourself.” 10
Love does noharm to a neighbor.Therefore love isthe fulfillment
of the law." (Romans13:8-10). Love…care for anothercannot harmanybody.
In Luke'sGospel, we canget a deepunderstandingfromwhatJesuselaborateson whathe wantsfrom
us: "to dounto othersas youwouldhave themdountoyou" principle.He says, "Givetoeveryone who
asks you,and ifanyone takes what belongsto you,do not demandit back. 31
Do to others as you
wouldhave them do to you.32
“Ifyoulove those wholove you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners
love those wholove them. 33
Andif you dogood to those who are goodto you, what credit is that to
you?Even sinnersdo that. 34
Andif youlend to those from whomyou expect repayment, what credit is
that to you? Even sinnerslend to sinners,expecting to be repaid infull. 35
But love your enemies,do
goodto them, and lend to them withoutexpectingto get anythingback.Then your reward will be
great, and youwill be childrenofthe Most High,because he is kindto the ungrateful andwicked. 36
Be
merciful,just asyour Father is merciful."(Luke 6:30-36). YesevenmanyChristianswillfindthisa
difficultrequirement…butthatis whatJesusChrist’steachings andrequiresfrom us!!
Christianlove isselflessandgivingtoothersthose thingsthatyouwouldwantthemtogive youif you
were intheirsituation.Wouldyou?Andthismeans doingsoevenif theycan'tpayyou back…? Inthe
contextof today’sworlditis impossibility! The reasonwhywe remainsinners... If theycan'tpayyou
back…? Christianlove is care andrespectfor others.It'smercy to the pointof charity! God's Love is
unselfishandunconditional.Nowwe know whatismeantbyChristianlove.Now we know whattostrive
for...

3. The main reason we run into difficulties in loving others is sin, both ours and that
of those wetry to love. We are selfish, and loving ‘ourselves’ comes much more
naturally than loving others. But love is not selfish; it seeks the best for others (1
Corinthians 13:5; Philippians 2:3). Battling both our own selfishness and sin
tendencies and dealing with the selfishness and sin tendencies of others can make
love a chore.
Another reason it can be difficult for us to love others is that we sometimes
misunderstand whattrue love is. We tend to think of love as primarily an
emotional response. Theproblem is that we cannot always controlour emotions.
We can certainly control whatwe do because of the emotions, but too often the
emotions themselves justhappen. But the kind of love God calls us to have for
others is the samekind that He has for us. Itis agape love, the essenceof which is
sacrifice. God’s love for us is a sacrificial love, the kind that sent Him to the cross
for our sins. Hedidn’t save us becausewe were lovable; He saved us becauseHis
love caused Him to sacrificeHimself for us. Do we love others enough to sacrifice
for them, even when they are not lovable? Loving others is a matter of the will
and the volition, not the emotions.
God died for us at our worst, in the midstof our sin, when we were totally
unlovable (Romans 5:8; John 15:13). When wemake sacrifices in order to love

4. someone, we get a glimpse of the depth of God’s love for us, and we also reflect
Him to the world. Jesus told His disciples, “A new command I giveyou: Loveone
another. As I haveloved you, so you mustlove one another. By this all men will
know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34–35). Notice
He didn’t say, “Feel loving toward one another.” He said, “Love one another.” He
commanded an action, not a feeling.
Part of the difficulty of loving others is that we often try to do it on our own,
whipping up feelings of love wherenone exist. This can lead to hypocrisy and
“play acting” the part of the loving person, when our hearts are really cold toward
him or her. We mustunderstand that we cannot love apart fromGod. Itis when
we remain in Jesus (John 15) and the Holy Spirit remains in us that we are able to
bear the fruit of love (Galatians 5:22–23). Weare told that God is love and that
our love for one another is both enabled by God and a responseto His love in us
(1 John 4:7–12). Itcan be difficult for us to rely on God and to give ourselves to
Him, but He also allows this difficulty so that His glory can be seen all the more.
When we love difficult people or chooseto love even when we do not feel like it,
we demonstrateour reliance on God and allow His power to be displayed in and
through us.
Loving others is difficult becausethey are human and we are human. But in this
difficulty we come to better appreciate the quality of God’s love for us. And when
we love others in spite of their lack of lovability, God’s Spirit shines through, He is
glorified, others are edified, and the world sees Christin us.