The document discusses the experience of formation accompaniment from the perspectives of both the person being accompanied and the accompanier. It notes that accompaniment aims to help the person being formed integrate their experiences and make sense of their spiritual life through regular personal meetings. Both parties must work to establish trust and respect, with clear boundaries and confidentiality. The accompanier's role is to listen without judgment and encourage reflection, while respecting the individual pace of growth. Positive accompaniment can be a challenging but rewarding experience for both persons.

1. The Experience of Being
Accompanied
Journeying with another

2. The experience of Being a Formator
• It is relatively easy to teach the various classes of the
Formation programme.
• It is not too demanding to attend to the various chores
and duties associated with living in the formation
community. Even attending the community prayers
and meditations is not too difficult.
• Certainly the company of fellow students / novices /
candidates is usually an enriching contribution to one's
growth and all round development.
• Being engaged in Formation Accompaniment can be
seen as a gift, but it is also a challenge and a struggle.

3. Formation Accompaniment
• It is a compulsory part of the programme.
• It is a structured, regular, personal and private
encounter
• It is supposed to help the one being formed to
explore the main issues of formation
• and gradually to integrate the various
dimensions of this religious life.

4. My Needs as a Mature Healthy
Person.
• These NEEDS are also for the person in Formation
– each needs to be able to say:
• 1. I have a sense of freedom in my life because I
have taken responsibility for my choices and my
behaviour.
• I need to be able to talk about what is happening
in my life – my achievements, my desires, my
struggles and even my failures.

5. My Needs as a Mature Healthy
Person.
Each needs to be able to say:
• 2. I feel a sense of integrity and wholeness in
life. I feel within myself that I am able to do
what I believe is mostly right, and what I say
and what I do are mostly the same thing.
• I need to be able to talk about my successes
and my struggles, and what stops me doing
what I am trying hard to do in work, study,
prayer and relationships.

6. My Needs as a Mature Healthy
Person.
• Each needs to be able to say:
• 3. I experience a sense of satisfaction in what
I am living. I feel good about what I am doing
and how I am living, and how I am with my
friends.
• I like it when I do these things because ….
• ACCOMPANIMENT SHOULD BE A HELP TO THIS

7. My Needs as a Mature Healthy
Person.
• Each needs to be able to say:
• 4. I can share about my fears, my doubts, my
sexuality, my dreams, my joys, my sorrows, my
struggles, and my successes. This helps me to
trust intimately.
• I have someone - Counsellor, Mentor, Friend -
with whom I can share, self disclose and
discover my Self.

8. Formation Accompaniment aims to
enable the Formee:
a. To talk about what is happening within his/her life
b. To understand those experiences more clearly
c. To make sense of life, or to make necessary changes.
d. To discover the new things happening in the spiritual
life as it develops.
e. To be challenged to try new and different ways.
f. To understand the meaning of the various
experiences of his/her life
g. To come to a place of freedom where a free vocation
decision can be made.

9. Experiences of Being Accompanied
• The experience of being accompanied varies
so much from one person to the next.
• Its success is determined by various factors –
• Being listened to or being encouraged;
• Being judged or blamed;
• Being misunderstood or understood
• Being challenged to change, to be better;
• Being ashamed of the past, or befriending it.

10. Being Accompanied
• The level of personal development can be a
block in the way a person enters into
Formation Accompaniment.
• Past experiences, the way I think of / judge
myself, the possibilities for change, can give
rise to various feelings and attitudes such as
anxiety, defensiveness, fear, or an inability to
engage in talking / sharing about myself, and
getting to know me more.

11. Positive Approach to Accompaniment
• They were moments of growth and self discovery.
• Go to the meetings for personal growth. “He saw
that he was being helped, that he was drawing on
the wisdom of the elder, that there was much to
be learned and discovered through these
meetings”.
• Being listened to helps in recognising issues.
• Listening to suggestions opened up possibilities.
• Growth came when suggestions were tried out.

12. • To establish a good atmosphere to assist in
this growth is the responsibility of the
Formator.
• To overcome the reticence, the quietness, the
anxiety, is the challenge for the one being
accompanied.

13. The experience needs the
encouragement of:
• Being affirmed constantly,
• Being open to a gentle dialogue that respects the
struggle,
• Being shown the explanations and the 'normalness' of
life's struggles,
• Being able to take on life at one's own pace, and not
being forced beyond our ability to cope,
• Being helped with discernment of what is a right thing to
do,
• Being responsible for my own life satisfaction,
• Having my 'sacred story' respected,
• Having my commitment to my own growth recognised.

14. THE EXPERIENCE OF
ACCOMPANYING ANOTHER.

15. Inter-Personal Dialogue
• Vita Consecrata emphasises that "the chief and
irreplaceable way to achieve this (integrated
formation)is personal dialogue which elicits the
free decisions of the young person in response to
grace"(para. 66).
• Therefore, personal accompaniment is an
indispensable means of formation. This is a
considerable challenge to all of us who have
responsibility for formation within our
congregations.

16. Its Importance
Why is this so? It has much to do with the impact on
integration of the following stages.
a. the ability to reflect on my experience
b. the ability to articulate what is happening within
me
c. the ability to clarify experience
d. the ability to accept help
e. the ability to discover newness
f. the ability to be challenged
g. the ability to appropriate the meaning of the
experience.

17. Help to Integration
• Formation Accompaniment is not counselling nor is it
Spiritual Direction.
• This Formation Accompaniment is a way of helping
the integration process in our life.
• It is also a means of facing the truth of my life and my
behaviours.
• It is a way of being accountable to myself and to my
Congregation, for the promises and commitments I
have made, and of being true to my life choice.

18. Responsibility & Confidentiality
• This responsibility to the other and to the
Congregation can often place the Formator in an
unenviable position.
• There will be limits placed on the confidentiality issue.
• Confidentiality is a reality that must be addressed
early in the dialogue.
Failure to do so will usually end up in confusion
and a lack if clarity around the goal of
accompaniment.
It will also make the establishment of a trusting
relationship difficult.

19. Being with the Other
• In being with the other there is a struggle and
tension:
• in being open to the dialogue, to what is said and
not said.
• in being undistracted in my listening.
• in listening with ears, eyes and heart - to the
words, to the body language and to the emotions
underlying the words.
• in understanding the issues presented by the
other.

20. Being with the Other
• In being with the other there is a struggle and tension
• in being able to encourage and support, and being
not too quick to judge.
• in being aware of the one way relationship - of being
for the other.
• in being aware of the suffering of the other.
• in having respect for the speed of growth in the other.
• in focusing on the balances in life.

21. Being with the Other
• All of the above have to do with the awareness of the
other person and in showing respect for the sacred
story and struggle of the other's life journey.
• We must constantly remember that the other is
committed to growing through his / her experiences in
life.
• Not all of these will be positive, but we can be in
touch with the humanity of the person.

22. The necessary steps to make for positive
Accompaniment
• Developing a right atmosphere.
• Having a suitable place for meeting.
• Keeping a sense of purpose in the process - the growth of
the other.
• Being aware of the "integration of life" in its many aspects.
• Having a model in my mind of what I am trying to do.
• Tracking the conversation carefully to ensure I listen well
• Asking open questions to provide the freedom for the
other to engage well.
• Helping the other to name significant issues so that they
can be clarified.

23. To engage well I need to be:
• an authentic person,
• able to acknowledge strengths and struggles.
• possessing a reasonable self knowledge.
• preparing myself with an attitude of respect and trust.
• a prayerful person in touch with my own relationship with
God.
• able to relax in the presence of the other
• a person with good listening skills.
• a person who is spiritually aware.
• aware of the issues of human development
• a person with good communication skills.

24. 8 Principles of Accompaniment
• 1. Accompaniment is a ministry which reveals the
hand of God and is a form of Pastoral Care.
• 2. The Accompanier has a responsibility to the
Congregation and to the Accompanied for the
formation and the fidelity of the Accompanied to the
spirit and charism of the group.
• 3. The Accompaniment relationship exists for the
benefit of the one being accompanied.
• 4. The foundation of the relationship is in the
genuine respect for the other and the life of God
active in each.

25. 8 Principles of Accompaniment
• 5. Both parties need to have a clear understanding of
the boundaries and limits of the relationship.
• 6. Confidentiality must be maintained. There must be a
clear understanding of the limits of confidentiality by both
the Formator and the Formatee.
• 7. There must be for each party a commitment to
openness, trust, ongoing development and learning in the
spiritual life and its various dimensions.
• 8. There is a need for cultural and gender sensitivity in
developing attending and communication skills and a
respect for the diversity and richness of cultural tradition.

26. From Counselling
• Then there is a need to develop some of the counselling skills
such as:
a. attending, listening to the other,
b. responding appropriately to the
statements of the other which frees the
other to speak more,
c. helping the other to personalise the
issues of life,
d. suggesting possibilities for
development.
• Such skills enable a person to be better able to accompany
another through the journey of life.

27. From Counselling
• There is also a need to accept some of the principles
of counselling such as
a. the client determines his or her own life
decisions.
b. confidentiality must be respected
c. there must be clarity around the
expectations of the accompaniment.
• These will enable the trust between the two to
develop more significantly.

28. For Reflection
• For the Accompanier –
• How I relate to the one being accompanied,
• How I listen,
• How I ask open questions,
• How I help the person to think more about the
issue,
• How I might make suggestions that could help,
• How I give the person the freedom to make
decisions .

29. Gifts given to an Accompanier
• One of the principal gifts of being an Accompanier
is that of having a constant reminder of the
commitment I have made as a Religious .
• Each time I enter into dialogue I am reminded of
my own humanity, my struggle, and the call of
Being a religious.

30. Gifts given to an Accompanier
• I have come so much to appreciate the nobleness
of the struggle of the person and his search for
himself and his God in the life he has chosen.
• To share this part of a person's journey is
certainly to experience the sacred story of a
person's life.
• It is a big challenge to the "judgmental attitude" I
can easily fall into when I do not appreciate the
inner story and struggle that is involved.

31. Gifts given to an Accompanier
• There is also the gift of being appreciated by the
other for the support, encouragement, and
empowerment that he experiences.
• When a little break through happens, I can
share the joy of this moment - the joy of faith
sharing.
• In a real way I experience the "Heart of Being
Brother/Sister" to the other.

32. Warning
• If I find myself "ill at ease" in the situation of being an
accompanier I shall have some difficulty with the level
of intimacy that is involved.
• Sometimes I perceive that the other thinks that I have
"got it all together" and I know I have not. This can be
a threat, if I buy into that idea.
• It is not necessary for me to have it all together to be
a "companion on the journey".
• We can both be making progress in the journey.
• I just need to be aware of my limitations.