This document provides guidance for pastors on counseling in their ministry. It discusses that 42% of people turn to clergy for counseling during crises. Pastors are well positioned to counsel due to existing relationships and lack of stigma or fees. The history of pastoral counseling is outlined, noting its growth since the 1920s. Factors for pastors to consider regarding dedicating time to counseling include other ministry demands and local counseling resources. Key qualities of good counselors are empathy, respect, genuineness, confidentiality, and being non-judgmental. Various areas of counseling are described such as pre-marital, marriage, family, crisis, and personal counseling. General counseling guidelines and recommended reading are also provided.

1. RACTICAL
RINCIPLES OF
ASTORING
THE PASTOR AS A COUNSELOR
Instructor
Dr. Arnold Lastinger

2. WHERE DO PEOPLE TURN TO
When They Are In Crisis?
 42% to their Clergyman
 29% to their medical doctors
 29% to Psychologists,
Counselors, Psychiatrists,
or Non-Professionals

3. WHY TURN TO THE PASTOR?
 A relationship already exists
 Less social stigma
 Less fear that the pastor will
see into the hidden areas
 No fee is involved
 No waiting list; immediate
attention

4. HISTORY OF
PASTORAL COUNSELING
 Relatively new discipline
 1922-Wm Keller, M.D. offered first
class for pastoral counselors
 1923-Demand exploded;
Cincinnati Summer School in
Pastoral Clinical Training began
 Today, 100’s of thousands of
Pastoral Counselors worldwide

5. WHAT PART SHOULD IT PLAY
IN YOUR MINISTRY?
 The need is undeniable
 Modern living is filled with
stress
 Once you make yourself
available, you will be
swamped
 How much time can/should
you devote to counseling?

6. FACTORS INFLUENCING
YOUR DECISION
 An honest appraisal of your gifts
and abilities
 A careful look at the other
demands made upon your time
 What other local resources are
available?
 REMEMBER: “A good pastor
doesn’t have to know how to do
everything; he just has to know
how to get everything done!”

7. QUALITIES OF
A GOOD COUNSELOR
 EMPATHY: ability to identify with the
counselee’s thoughts and feelings to
understand what is going on with them
 RESPECT: affixing a true sense of value
to the counselee with confidence that
he/she can benefit from the relationship
 GENUINENESS: openness on the part of
the counselor that allows the counselee
to know him/her as a real person

8. QUALITIES OF
A GOOD COUNSELOR
 CONFIDENTIALITY: the client has a right
to expect you to share their case with NO
ONE, not even your spouse
 NON-JUDGMENTAL: taking a constructive
approach to a person’s problem without
moralizing or judging. See your role as
REDEMPTIVE, not PUNITIVE.
 PERSON-CENTERED vs. DOGMA-
CENTERED: More about helping the
person instead of conforming to the rules

9. AREAS OF COUNSELING
 Pre-Marital Counseling
 Marriage Counseling
 Family Counseling
 Crisis Counseling
 Personal Counseling

10. PRE-MARITAL COUNSELING
 Couple’s salvation
 Current sexual activity
 Previous marriages
 Communication
 Finances
 Parenting
 Role Expectations
 In-Laws
 Commitment to marriage
 Sex
 Wedding ceremony

11. MARRIAGE COUNSELING
 Couple’s salvation
 The “Presenting Problem” and beyond
 Relationship problems
 Fidelity issues
 Communication
 Finances
 Parenting
 Role Expectations
 In-Laws
 Commitment to marriage
 Sexual issues
 Wedding ceremony

12. 7 STAGES OF A MARRIAGE
STAGE 1: (18-21 Yrs.) Shifting from
family of origin to new commitment;
conflict arises when the two come into
conflict
STAGE 2: (22-28 Yrs.) Provisional
marital commitment; uncertainty about
spouse selection and possible
parenting
STAGE 3: (29-31 Yrs.) Commitment
crisis; restlessness, emotional
separation over parenthood
STAGE 4: (32-39 Yrs.) Focus on
productivity, conflict over differing
ways to achieve productivity

13. 7 STAGES OF A MARRIAGE
STAGE 5: (40-42 Yrs.) Focus on
evaluation and refocusing of life goals;
conflict over how to define “success”
STAGE 6: (43-59 Yrs.) Focus is on
conflict resolution and stabilizing the
marriage for the long haul; conflict
arises of fading youth
STAGE 7: (60 and up) Focus on
supporting and enhancing each other’s
struggle for productivity and
fulfillment in the face of issues of
aging.

14. FAMILY COUNSELING
 Interpersonal relationships within
the family
 Clearly-defined expectations
 Consistently applied parenting
guidelines
 Separating rebellion from a normal,
maturing desire for independence
 Parent’s coping with sibling rivalries
 Children coping with parental strife
 How to deal with drug & sex issues
 Time together as a family

15. CRISIS COUNSELING
 Dealing with grief
 Coping with divorce
 Loss of a job
 Broken relationship
 Finding the will of God
 Overcoming tragedy (fire, etc.)
 Coping with a loved-one’s moral
failure
 A family member’s incarceration

16. PERSONAL COUNSELING
 One’s spiritual condition
 Lack of intimacy with God
 Unforgiveness/bitterness
 Issues arising from lack of spiritual
growth
 Unresolved conflicts with others
 Unresolved personal guilt
 Victory over sinful habits
 Demonic influence

17. GENERAL GUIDELINES
1. Submit psychological principles to
biblical scrutiny
2. Practice Biblical counseling instead of
Humanism
3. Work with groups whenever possible;
more efficient use of your time and
provides support for clients
4. Never counsel the opposite sex in
seclusion
5. Watch your own motivation
6. Avoid co-dependency
7. Listen much; prescribe little
8. Look for feelings; not just facts

18. 9. Guide the counselee to discover their
own answer
10. Be open and “self-disclosing”, but
don’t monopolize the session
11. Look beyond the “presenting
symptom”
12. Ask probing questions
13. Never react; watch for “trial balloons”
14. Demand homework from the
counselee
15. Never have more invested than the
counselee
16. Begin with an end in sight
17. Train lay counselors
18. Know when to refer

19. RECOMMENDED READING
1. Death and Ministry, Pastoral Care of
the Dying and the Bereaved (Bane,
Kutscher, et. al.) Seabury Press
2. The Mental Health Ministry
(Clinebell) Abingdon Press
3. The People You Live With (Hyder)
Fleming H. Revell
4. Parish Counseling (E. N. Jackson)
5. Pastoral Counseling (Oates)
Westminster Press
6. Intended For Pleasure (Wheat)
Fleming H. Revell
7. The Act of Marriage (LeHaye)