The narrator and their family are fleeing on a bus after months of turmoil. Memories of a recent encounter with a general who threatened to kill their family haunt them. The narrator frantically searches their hotel room when it is attacked, finding their wife and children by peering over the edge of the roof in a crumpled heap. Overcome with grief, the narrator realizes the bodies are of another family trying to escape detection. Renewed with hope, the narrator sprints back to their room calling for their family.

1. With the narrative
genre, it is important
to grasp your reader’s
Johnson 1 attention with a creative
Sara Johnson tiole and strong open-
ing. The writer’s title
Alyssa Johnson here foreshadows the
dark tale which fol-
English 101-C16
lows. Note that the title
November 22, 2010 is centered on the page
without underlining or
}
My Haunted Memory quotes.
Relief floods through my veins as my family steps onto the
bus that will transport us to sweet freedom. As I take my seat, I glance
The opening paragraph
around, noticing for the first time how much the past few months have is successful because
seemed to age the faces of those around me. Studying the faces of my it creates a dominant
impression. The first
forlorn neighbors, I recognize something in their eyes that has become paragraph effectively
sets the tone for the
all too familiar to me in the past few months. The words “devastated”, writing. Moreover, it
“overwhelmed”, and “distraught” do not even begin to describe the look uses powerful language
to create tension and a
of pain I see in each face. I turn towards my family and am suddenly sense of dread.
plagued by the recollection of what happened in my hotel only a few
days ago.
The precision of my memory startles me, nearly frightening me
to tears. I am suddenly back in the general’s office as he tells me that Poetic language like
this writer’s simile
his men are making their way to my hotel to kill my family. His words (a comparision using
“like” or “as”) enhance
hit me like a freight train. My knees go weak, and my eyes well up with
the telling, making the
tears. I have lost the ability to breathe as a cold chill runs down my emotions of the narrator
concrete and tangible.
spine. How could this be happening to me? I order him to take me back Here, the size and force
of a freight train help
to my hotel, but he instead of reaching for his keys, he reaches for his
convey the emotional
gun and points it at me. Anger engulfs me, but I have to remember to heaviness of the
moment.
remain calm. I negotiate with the general, reminding him that if he kills
me he will have nobody to testify for him after the genocide. Upon

2. Sensory details like the
ones used here help to
propel the mood and
Johnson 2 atmosphere of the
narrative. The dread that
hearing these words, he quickly agrees to take me to my hotel. is felt by the narrator is
seen and heard. These
I frantically search my circus of a hotel for my family. My
details enrich the essay,
family is my life; without them I have nothing. I sprint past the Hutu allowing readers to
clearly visualize the
army who has attacked my hotel like rabid dogs. The air around me is haunting experience.
thick and reeks of death and fear. Horror-filled screams ring in my ears to
the rhythm of my thoughts. I must find my family. I must find my
family. I burst through my hotel room door screaming my family’s
names at the top of my lungs. Tears stream down my face like tiny At times short
sentences like this one
fountains of hope and desperation. I search my room maniacally when a are effective because the
brevity and directness
sudden jolt of realization stops me dead in my tracks. The roof. I told
stands out against the
Tatiana to jump off of the roof if the Hutus attacked. Moving like longer, more detailed
prose. In this example,
lightning, I make my way to the roof. Hoping for the best but fearing the simple “the jumped”
leaves the reader at the
the worst, I peer over the edge of the building. Words cannot express the
end of the paragraph
feeling that consumes me as I look down at the outlines of my wife and with a simple, yet
horrific image.
}
children who lay face-down on the ground. They did it. They jumped.
I am going to be sick. I see people everywhere around me, but I Following the
concluding sentence of
feel like the only man in the world. I close my eyes but still see my pre-
the paragraph above,
cious family lying in a crumpled heap one hundred feet below me. Hate this paragraph reveals to
the reader the surprise
radiates through my body and spreads like disease from the depths of my that the narrator was
wrong in believing his
heart to the tips of my toes. I hate everything and everyone. When I open
wife and children had
my eyes, however, I am filled with unspeakable joy. The tears of loss died. The paragraph
break between the last
that are streaming down my face are converted to tears of happiness. As paragraph and this one
is effective because it
I look down at what I thought was my family, I see that it is not my wife
creates a distance be-
and children laying on the ground but another Tutsi family instead. The tween the the tragedy of
the fall and the eventual
mother of the family looks up at me with a finger over her mouth and it surprise that awaits both
the narrator and the
reader..

3. Johnson 3
suddenly becomes clear that she and her children did not jump. They
are laying face-down on the ground in order to fool the Hutu army into
thinking they are already dead. The sun suddenly shines brighter, and the
}
air smells sweeter. My hope is renewed as I break into a runner’s sprint
back to my room.
Back in my room, I begin calling for my family, each cry even
The narrative builds to
more desperate than the last. When I am certain that I have searched an appropriate ending
that feels conclusive
every inch of the bedroom, I drive on toward the bathroom, undeterred.
and resolved without
I will find my family. I rip open the shower curtain and jump back, a feeling rushed. Because
the scope of the
scream escaping my throat. I begin laughing hysterically at the sight of narrative is limited to
a short time span, the
my wife pointing the shower head directly at me. My entire family is
writer is able give a
huddled behind her. Relief swells in my heart and I suddenly feel like detailed account of the
action.
dancing. I have protected my family and we will soon be on our way to
}
freedom. My war is over. A narrative essay is
Thinking back on this moment, I smile sadly. While I am happy simply an essay that tells
a story to make a point.
to have been so fortunate, I cannot help but grieve the loss of the Tutsi Here, the writer con-
cludes with a reflective
population. So much innocent blood was spilled over a pointless component which puts
prejudice. The memories of what I have witnessed in the past few this specific story within
a larger context, namely
months will haunt me for the rest of my life. How many others wit- the horrors experienced
by many families during
nessed the same horror? How many guiltless people died? How many the Rwandan genocide.
people knew about the genocide but did nothing to stop it? Once again, I
A successful narrative
look around at the faces surrounding me on the bus. We have all suffered like this one has a strong
purpose--to illustrate
such great loss. How could anyone see what we have been through and the significance and
stand idle? importance of family in
difficult time, for one,
and the ultimately move
the reader to action.

4. Since this narrative
essay was a creative
interpretation of a film,
Johnson 4 the writer includes a
Works Cited page to
Works Cited reference the source.
More on MLA
Hotel Rwanda. Dir. Terry George. Perf. Don Cheadle and Sophie
documentation can be
Okonedo. MGM Home Entertainment, 2004. DVD. found in the researched
essay example and
on the HGTC Library
website.
NOTE: THIS ESSAY IS AN ORIGINAL NARRATIVE INSPIRED BY
THE FILM HOTEL RWANDA. THE STUDENTS IN THIS CLASS WERE
ASKED TO CRAFT A NARRATIVE BASED AROUND A SCENE FROM
THE FILM, CAPTURING PURPOSE, MOOD, VOICE AND TONE IN
WRITTEN RATHER THAN VISUAL FORM.
Notice that this
paraphrase contains a
parenthetical reference
to Maria C. Scott. This
shows us that Scott
said this highlighted
information, but she
didn’t say it exactly like
the author has written
it here. However, if
you want to see Scott’s
actual words, then you
can go to page 214 in
the book that is cited in
the Works Cited.