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Ten creative uses for
an empty Patron bottle
1. Classy decanter
The perfect
complement to your
collection of Lalique,
Baccarat, and
Waterford. Or
decanting that bottle
of plonk you’ve been
saving for a special
occasion.
2. Designer flower vase
Blends perfectly
with both
traditional and
modern decors.
Guaranteed to
make you the envy
of all your friends!
3. Second-chance candle snuffer
Ever snuff a candle
and then regret
doing so? This user-
friendly device
ensures you have
almost 20 seconds in
which to change
your mind!
4. No-skid doorstop
Why look for an
old brick when you
already have this
beautiful,
machine-crafted
objet d’art?
5. Scissor-holder desk accessory
Tired of always
searching for your
scissors? This is
the ideal way to
keep your desktop
organized.
6. Cost-effective tuba mute
Too much oomph
in your om-pa-pa?
Tuba mutes are
scarce these days,
so why search
eBay when you can
easily bottle up
your tooting?
7. Heavy-duty windchime
Just the thing during
hurricanes and
typhoons. And
beautiful to look at,
too, when winds and
gusts are under
70mph! Tunable
using either water or
cheap tequila.
8. Ergonomic gardening stool
Balancing on this
stool lets your
body find its own
center of gravity,
reducing lumbar
pressure to reduce
skeletomuscular
pain.
9. Home condom inflater
Inflating a condom
used to require the
services of a skilled
professional. Now
you can easily do it
at home! Just put a
little water in the
bottle, slip on the
condom, boil gently
in a pot and voilá!
10. Never-fail flyswatter
100% effective
when correctly
applied.
Dedicated to
The Texas Tequila Queens
Copyright © 2014, Eric L. Reiss. All rights (and lefts) reserved.
(but who the hell would want to copy this anyway?)

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10 creative uses for an empty patron bottle

  • 1. Ten creative uses for an empty Patron bottle
  • 2. 1. Classy decanter The perfect complement to your collection of Lalique, Baccarat, and Waterford. Or decanting that bottle of plonk you’ve been saving for a special occasion.
  • 3. 2. Designer flower vase Blends perfectly with both traditional and modern decors. Guaranteed to make you the envy of all your friends!
  • 4. 3. Second-chance candle snuffer Ever snuff a candle and then regret doing so? This user- friendly device ensures you have almost 20 seconds in which to change your mind!
  • 5. 4. No-skid doorstop Why look for an old brick when you already have this beautiful, machine-crafted objet d’art?
  • 6. 5. Scissor-holder desk accessory Tired of always searching for your scissors? This is the ideal way to keep your desktop organized.
  • 7. 6. Cost-effective tuba mute Too much oomph in your om-pa-pa? Tuba mutes are scarce these days, so why search eBay when you can easily bottle up your tooting?
  • 8. 7. Heavy-duty windchime Just the thing during hurricanes and typhoons. And beautiful to look at, too, when winds and gusts are under 70mph! Tunable using either water or cheap tequila.
  • 9. 8. Ergonomic gardening stool Balancing on this stool lets your body find its own center of gravity, reducing lumbar pressure to reduce skeletomuscular pain.
  • 10. 9. Home condom inflater Inflating a condom used to require the services of a skilled professional. Now you can easily do it at home! Just put a little water in the bottle, slip on the condom, boil gently in a pot and voilá!
  • 11. 10. Never-fail flyswatter 100% effective when correctly applied.
  • 12. Dedicated to The Texas Tequila Queens Copyright © 2014, Eric L. Reiss. All rights (and lefts) reserved. (but who the hell would want to copy this anyway?)