1 ethics personal decision paper (with the rae mmdm)choosing a to

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ETHICS PERSONAL DECISION PAPER (with the Rae
MMDM)Choosing a Topic: Boundaries are Crossed DAILY.
Find them in your life. You may have necessary endings that
you are avoiding. You may have relationships to repair.
Last Update: January 10, 2017
Philosophers,
The point of the Scott B. Rae 7-Step Model for Moral Decision
Making is to give you a helpful tool to use the rest of your life.
What is great about it is that it will work with whatever values
and principles you hold and it will help you be creative in
brainstorming alternatives. Many HUGE mistakes are made
because people assume there are only two options when there
are, in reality, ten different alternatives. We lack creativity in
stressful situations. So, the more we use this model and get
familiar with our own moral principles. And, for me, as a
Christian, I need to go dig up Biblical principles and research
Scripture sometimes to see what moral principles might pertain
to my particular situation. For Christians, there are thousands of
moral principles in what they think is information from God on
how to live. Unfortunately, most of us Christians think there are
just ten (the ten commandments) and we do not know this
source of moral, guiding principles very well. Anyhow, this is
what I need to do when exploring issues.
I used this paper structure to make two big decisions this fall in
a particular relationship, and I ran through it in my mind in a
situation at Christmas with a family member. You may never
use it again, or you may use it a lot.
Remember, the decision has to be a TOUGH one where you
aren't 90% sure of what you need to do.
Christopher (30 Jan 2012)
Philosophers,
Someone, somewhere is crossing or trying to cross one of your

defining boundaries. Think about where this is happening in
your life. Defining boundaries are the “property lines” that say
where we begin and where we end as individuals. When we
enter into any kind of relationship at school, work, romance,
family, etc. we have to set up defining boundaries to protect
ourselves and others.
I will give you some of my boundaries that I (try to) set with
women I date: I go to church once a week for service, and I
serve in a teaching role regularly. I visit my 98-year-old
grandmother 2-4 times a week. I work out 2-6 times a week. I
need time with my male friends regularly. I spend time with my
girlfriend’s family. I like my girlfriend to spend time with my
family. I go on a vacation with my family (aunts, uncles,
cousins) once a year. I travel at least once a year alone or with
family and girlfriend. I will wait until our lives are historically
intertwined forever in a commitment before “getting it on.”
When we disagree, I must be respectful to you and you must be
respectful to me.
Now, I have different boundaries in the different roles I have. I
live near the University of Cincinnati, and I have neighbors that
I have boundaries with regarding noise, parking cars, etc. At
school, I have boundaries with my boss and with the
administration and with students. On the highway, I have
boundaries (enforced by traffic laws) and at the coffee shops
and bars I have social boundaries that need to be respected.
We are always modifying our boundaries as we get to know
ourselves. We learned both good boundaries and bad
boundaries from our parents. One girl I dated adopted the worst
boundary habits from her parents and it was a continual struggle
to define my boundaries for her since she was always hurt when
I put up a boundary. Her mother always agreed that she should
feel the way she felt when I set up my healthy boundaries to
protect myself, so we never made progress.
In his book, Beyond Boundaries, John Townsend defines
another type of temporary boundary as a “protective boundary.”
These are boundaries that can be removed over time (unlike

defining boundaries). “I will lend you money if you get a job,”
or “We can spend time together if you do not demean me and
put me down or disrespect me in front of others.” Papers that
explore putting up protective boundaries, or explore the
potential removal of protective boundaries are really good.
If you are at a loss, I would get a book by Henry Cloud and
John Townsend that deals with boundaries: (1) Boundaries; (2)
Boundaries in Dating, or Boundaries in Marriage or Boundaries
with Kids; and (3) Beyond Boundaries: Learning to Trust Again
in Relationships; (4) Necessary Endings; or (5) Changes That
Heal. After you start reading about the different cases in these
books, a paper topic will jump to your mind. Someone
somewhere is stepping on your boundaries whether it is a
parent, spouse, child, neighbor, friend, or boss. Also, all of us
are stepping over the boundaries of others. We need to figure
out those issues as well and be protectors of others’ boundaries.
It is a two-way street.
Cloud and Townsend are Christian Theists, but I have friends
who are skeptics and atheists who love the books anyway.
Ignore the Biblical principles. Personally, I think they are
evidence that God revealed truths to the writers of the books of
the Bible, but my skeptic friends think they are just common-
sense principles that any sage or wise man could discover.
Regardless, these guys give case after case of real life examples
to argue their points.
Christopher (December 2011)
Philosophers,
You may write paper #1 on any tough situation in your life
where you are not sure what choice you should make.
"Dilemma" implies only two choices. Usually there are ten in
any given situation (and this lack of creativity is a big problem
in moral decision-making), and people have blinders for
psychological reasons.

This decision-making model will help you brainstorm and see
what creative alternatives exist that fit with your top moral
principles/values.
Look at Henry Cloud and John Townsend website (or find their
videos on YouTube) if you want to look at boundary issues:
http://www.cloudtownsend.com/
Boundaries come in two types. DEFINING BOUNDARIES and
PROTECTIVE BOUNDARIES. Defining Boundaries are WHO
YOU ARE. So, for me, I am going to church every week and I
am going to serve in my church. I need to work 40 hours a
week. Also, I visit my grandma twice a week and that is who I
am. If a woman I date doesn't like these things, she may try and
overstep my boundaries and get me to change who I am.
Many students have their defining boundaries overstepped by
spouses, boyfriends/girlfriends, parents, friends, bosses,
children, etc. So, this leads to problem situations where
decisions must be made to reclaim who we are as healthy
people. We all deserve respect in our emotional, sexual, and
physical boundaries. People in our lives cross these ALL OF
THE TIME.
In this case, we need to set up PROTECTIVE BOUNDARIES
that are either temporary (until trust is rebuilt) or permanent.
Protective boundaries need to be set up for abusive (physical or
emotional) spouses until the behavior changes. If it never
changes, they must stay up forever.
In my own life, I suffer from tendencies to be a "door mat" and
so I continually deal with letting people walk all over me. It is
hard for me to say, "No," and draw proper boundaries to protect
my time and interests. I am a "people pleaser" in relationships,
and I've been working on these things for 15 years with ten
different therapists. I have grown A LOT, but I do have to
worry about these issues especially with close friends and
family members and significant others who tend to want to cross
my defining boundaries.
Also, ALL of us can step on other people’s boundaries because
of our own neediness and unresolved emotional issues. We may

choose to control others with anger and withdrawing affection
or being passive aggressive. These issues would make good
paper topics.
You do not have to write on "boundary issues" in your paper.
Many students think they have nothing going on in their lives
that constitute a big ethical choice, but we have at least a few
things going on at any given moment that would make good
papers.
Unless you are the Unabomber and living in a hut in the
mountains, if you interact with people, you have issues to
explore!
Christopher (1 Feb 2012)
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Ethics Paper Instructions
Ethical Decision with Scott B. Rae’s
Model for Moral Decision Making (MMDM)
Last Update: 10 January 2017
The paper is to be a (7 – 12 page) practical exercise in
moral decision making. You will first present a moral dilemma,
and then you will use Scott B. Rae’s decision-making model to
figure out what to do. When you use Scott B. Rae’s Model for
Moral Decision Making, you will go through various steps in
order to come to a conclusion.
You will be writing from the first-person perspective. Choose a
difficult decision you are currently facing to analyze with real
facts. Focus on a problem you have right now, or one that you
face in the near future (e.g. this summer, or after you graduate).
Do not choose a “no-brainer” like the following: “should I go
steal my neighbor’s car and drive it off a bridge, or not?” Pick

something that involves a moral struggle for you,
personally.[footnoteRef:1] See the supplemental document
about boundary issues with friends, family, and other loved
ones. The paper will be much more practical (and interesting to
you) as a result. Email me to get my approval (sometimes your
issues are too broad). Make sure it is a real dilemma for you
right now (or in the near future). [1: Some students do
decisions that are “no brainers” for themselves, but would be
tough for other people. So, they think it looks like it would
make a good paper. These decisions make horrible papers since
there aren’t real tensions. ]
Decisions by former students (that might help you think of
something):
(1) I have serious anger fantasies with my former boss, ex-
girlfriend, etc. and I need to find a way to deal with this hate
and forgive him/her and find peace. Nothing is working.
(2) I have problems balancing school, work, and family and
taking care of myself physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
What should I sacrifice to reach my goals?
(3) I want to do this Ironman race in October in Arizona. It will
take 15-25 hours of training a week, and I will not be able to
invest the time into my girlfriend that she will want.
(4) I graduate in May. Should I work this wonderful job in the
U.S. or return to an “ok” job in China to take care of my
family?
(5) Should I put off school another year to take care of my sick
father in my hometown (Mississippi)? Or, should I just go visit
every weekend or every other weekend?
(6) My parents blow their paycheck at the casino the day they
get it. They ask me for money to pay utilities. I give in. I am
enabling my parents’ gambling habit by giving them money.
What should I do?
(7) I just found out that there is a warrant out for my arrest that

is over three years old (for something I didn’t do). Should I
turn myself in today and risk missing the last two weeks of the
semester (and possibly miss my exams and fail the course), or
should I wait until exams are over?
(8) I have become slightly more skeptical about Christianity in
the last few years. My wife and kids are true believers. Should
I begin a plan of studying Christian apologetics and see if I find
rational reasons to believe in God, and, perhaps, doing spiritual
disciplines to see if God shows up? Or, is that too risky (I might
leave Jesus completely and risk rejection of my family)?
(9) Should I tell my husband that I am cheating on him? Should
I just quit the affair? Or, should I leave my husband for this
man? How long can I wait to make this decision?
(10) I don’t know if I want to work on this relationship or leave
it. Is s/he worth it?
(11) Should I have my grandfather move into my house, or
should I put him in a nursing home? I have to make an initial
decision now, and I could re-evaluate in 9 months.
(12) Right now, in 2015, close to 150,000 boys are enslaved in
the sex trade in Sri Lanka, and European men can pay $15 to
rape one. I think God may be directing me to a career in
strategically tackling these issues. Should my focus in law
school be tools to stop sex-trafficking or should it be
employment law so I can work in my father’s firm back home?
If the latter, I could sacrifice part of my income to give to
organizations that try to stop the sex slavery trade in South-East
Asia and maybe go on missions trips to assist an organization
(like International Justice Mission www.ijm.org to stop this
activity). What do I do?
(13) My classmates continually ask me to cheat for them in
school. I made the mistake of doing it once, and now they
depend upon me each week. How do I handle this?
(14) Should I do something about the actions of my boss? (He
could be fudging numbers, cheating on his wife, or doing some
other illegal or immoral practice.)
(15) Should I report my friend and co-worker for some of his

immoral or illegal actions? Or, should I confront him directly,
or passive-aggressively?
(16) My neighbors and I do not get along about an issue. What
do I do about this problem?
(17) How should I work on some character issue (my anger
issues or procrastination habit or pornography addiction) that
has become a real impediment to my progress this year?
Counselor, self-therapy (Cloud and Townsend
books/workbooks), or a friend?
(18) Should I rat out my illegal alien boyfriend to his employer
or ICE?
(19) I struggle with my sister and her behavior. What do I do
about it? Intervention? Draw protective boundaries for six
months to see if the behavior improves?
(20) My mother has BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder).
What protective boundaries should I set up until she learns to
respect me?
(21) I am not doing any spiritual disciplines to grow. Should I
find a spiritual mentor to work with each week? Or, just read
Dallas Willard’s Spirit of the Disciplines and Richard Foster’s
Celebration of Discipline and try things on my own this
semester? STRUCTURE OF PAPER
Introduction
· Give a brief synopsis of the context of the decision and what
the decision is. Make sure this section is in full paragraphs.
You may skip this and go right to Step 1 if you want.
Step 1: Gather The Facts
· A lot of people insert facts later in the paper that should go
here. Get everything off your chest in this part. Throw out all
the raw data. You may need to do a lot of research. You may
have to write a lot about the background of the participants.
Who or what is involved in this situation? Better to write too
much here.
· No rhetorical questions. Rewrite all of them as statements.

Step 2: Determine the Ethical Issues
· Do your best to establish the major tensions in this decision.
X vs. Y. This should be one of the shortest sections of the
paper. You may have more than one tension in the situation.
Better to have at least THREE.
· State how many tensions you found in your analysis. State
them clearly (“my desire to be honest is in conflict with my
desire to be a loyal friend”)before explaining them.
· It is best to have the opening sentence tell us how many
ethical tensions you’ve discovered, and conclude the section
with a sentence reminding us of the 2 – 5 tensions.
· This is the part of the paper over which people struggle most
Step 3: Isolate Your Ethical Principles
· This is the section where you discover your
DEONTOLOGICAL PRINCIPLES that might have a bearing on
the case.
· Brainstorm before you write this. Make sure you isolate
principles. “Thou shalt not commit murder.” “Honor those
worthy of honor,” “be honest,” etc.
· The first sentence should tell us how many ethical principles
you are going to examine. Then, clearly walk through them.
Make it easy on your reader to know how many principles are
going to be employed.
· Then, tell us how many principles you are working with and
examine them in this section to see which ones have the highest
priority for you.
· Some of you are Christians. If you are getting some (or all) of
your ethical principles from the Bible, please look up the verses
or parables and ground your principles in passages in the Bible.
Cite them properly.
· If you are of another religion, please use your religious text to
back up your principles. Cite your religious texts properly.
This will require some work if you are a Muslim, Christian,
Jew, Hindu, Buddhist, Sikh, etc.

· Organize your principles well. Rank them in order of
importance to the best of your ability. Explain them. Most
people have thoughts scattered.
· If it helps, list your principles in your opening sentences.
Then walk through the principles more in-depth in paragraph
form.
· In the last paragraph, refresh our memories as to your list of
principles and which ones rank the highest. It is better to argue
why you hold some principles to be more important than others.
We are all different.
· It would be best if you rank your principles in order of highest
importance. For instance, “Do not murder” should be higher
than “keep your family’s honor.”
· Make your paper reader friendly. Read it to someone. See if
they “get” what you are saying and can repeat back your
principles and the rationale behind them.
· Have at least SIX moral principles/rules.
· Be clear. Save analysis for later. Be a ROBOT . . . ETHICS
MACHINE!
Step 4: Brainstorm Alternatives
· Tell us in your opening paragraph how many alternatives you
are going to explore. Help your reader clearly see the number
of alternatives that are going to be eliminated with the various
principles from the last step.
· Get creative! Many people miss alternatives due to tunnel
vision. Spell these out.
· Talk to your friends and family members to see if they have
other suggestions.
· Include two INSANE alternatives that are not real options.
Act like they are real options so your reader isn’t sure if you are
serious or not. Practicing this will help you be creative when it
comes to real life decisions. Think “outside the box”
· Make sure you are just giving the alternatives and not putting
more facts and principles or consequences here. This model is a
step-by-step deal. Don’t get ahead of yourself. You want

clarity and thoroughness.
· SAVE ANALYSIS FOR NEXT SECTION! Just list the
alternatives.
· Have at least FIVE alternatives if possible and add an insane
one or two.
· Make sure everything is crystal clear. Clarity, clarity, clarity!
Step 5: Eliminate Alternatives with Principles
· THE MOST IMPORTANT SECTION OF THE PAPER.
· This is where you use your DEONTOLOGICAL PRINCIPLES
to eliminate your alternatives. Do NOT explore consequences
(STEP 6).
· Act like a robot during this section. Isolate your most
important ethical principles and see if they support or
discourage the adoption of a certain alternative.
· It might be helpful to make a chart on notebook paper to
visually see which principles support/discourage each
alternatives.
· Methodically walk through the alternatives. Tell us how each
principle supports or doesn’t support the various alternatives.
See if you can cross alternatives off.
· You should at least show us how your two INSANE
alternatives are not compatible with your most important ethical
principles. Do these first as a “warm up” to the more difficult
alternatives. Have fun with it.
· Refer to principles throughout: “This alternative conflicts
with my most important principle/rule: be honest.” Use the
word “principle” to keep on track.
· Tell us how many are left over at the end of this section.
· This should be the one of the largest sections of your paper.
· Clarity! Make your points easy to follow. Read it out loud to
someone (or just yourself) to test this.
Step 6: Explore Consequences for Remaining Alternatives
· This is the CONSEQUENTIALIST or UTILITARIAN section.
· [This section is really only needed in the case of a stalemate

between two remaining alternatives. I still want you to do this
section even if there is a clear decision from Step 5. Just
examine the 1st place and 2nd place alternatives for
consequences. Good practice.]
· Clearly state which alternatives are remaining from Step 5.
· Save the analysis of consequences to this step. All too often
people make this a consequentialist model instead of a
deontological (rule-based) model. This is about the only place
in your paper where you should be dealing with consequences.
· So, tell us which of your remaining alternatives has the best
consequences (maximal happiness and minimal pain).
Step 7: Make a Decision
· Tell us what decision this PROCESS revealed from STEP 5
and STEP 6.
· Sometimes, you might be able to do choice #2 if choice #1
doesn’t work. If that is an option, explain that. Sometimes
choices are final and there is no plan B.
· DO NOT TELL US WHAT YOU ACTUALLY DID IN THE
SITUATION!
· This decision is according to this model (based on your own
personal principles), so if it doesn’t map onto reality, it is okay!
· Act like a reasoning ethical machine in this paper. Follow the
steps.
· Remember George S. Patton: “If you are 51% sure of a
decision, execute it. If you are 80% sure of a decision, execute
it violently.”
Epilogue
· In this optional section, tell us what you actually did (if you
have to act before the paper is due). Do not tell us what you did
in Step 7. This model is not a chance for you to vindicate your
decision (and people do this all the time, so don’t do it!). This
is a principle-based model that should yield an alternative that
fits best with all of your principles. Many of us are
UTILITARIANS in nature, and so we might not follow this

DEONTOLOGICAL model. If you do something other than
what this model suggests in Step 7, tell us how
similar/dissimilar the Rae MMDM is to your own ethical
decision-making process in this case.
Good luck! If it isn’t too personal, please have friends/family
read your paper to see if it is clear and readable. Test them
when the paper is over. Can they remember the ethical
tensions, the principles, and the alternatives? If not, go rewrite
to make them clearer. Let them suggest alternatives and
principles if you get stuck in your analysis.
At least read it out loud to yourself a time or two to see how it
sounds. No contractions and no rhetorical questions. For more
paper advice, see below.
General Advice for this Paper:
· USE THE OUTLINE! All students who fill out the outline
first find writing it VERY easy. Start early.
· Choose a really important situation you face now or in the
near future, and make sure it is a tough situation for you. Do
not choose something that only has one real alternative. You
will not benefit from this kind of paper.
· Email me (before you start writing) for topic approval. I can
warn you if it is going to be a problem topic (based on past
experience), and if it is narrow enough.
· If you are doing a business ethics or medical ethics decision,
let me help you find resources. If possible, you might want to
do both papers on the same topic to save time/energy.
· All sentences should have content. No “B.S.” – don’t
meander. Content, content, content!
· NO RHETORICAL QUESTIONS. Rewrite all of them as
statements. You will lose STRUCTURE/STYLE points if you
have these.
· Write out all contractions. You will lose
STRUCTURE/STYLE points.
· Do not try to entertain me. Bore me to death. This is a

philosophy paper. I want it dry as bones in the Australian
Outback. Thrill me with a detailed analysis of your ethical
principles and your brainstorming ability to find wild
alternatives to pursue.
· Do not try to rationalize what you actually did with this paper.
This model might not reflect how you think (or should), though
it might be something to consider in the future.
· I want to know the situation and all (possibly) relevant facts,
the ethical tensions, your ethical principles, your alternatives,
etc.
· BE THOROUGH. Some people do not put enough information
in STEP 1 and have to fill in later in the paper. Get 99% of the
relevant facts in Step 1. More may come out in Step 6
(consequences), but that’s fine.
· NO CONTRACTIONS. Write out all of them. Make this
paper as formal as possible.
· No flowery TRANSITION SENTENCES. Just throw down
your material. No need to define terms either. We don’t need
to know what UTILITARIANISM means or what KANT
believed. Definitions are common forms of transition
sentences.
· You have my permission to be a dry decision maker in this
paper.
· Please LABEL each step in your paper to make it easier to
follow. “Step 1: Gather the Facts” . . . I want these section
headings with Roman numerals.
· Read this paper to a friend (if it isn’t too personal) or relative
and get feedback.
· CITE PROPERLY:
· APA Format: http://www.citationmachine.net/
· Writing Guide:
http://www.ivytech.edu/richmond/writing_guide.pdf
· If you use Bible verses, please cite them properly. Look them
up at www.biblegateway.com or www.blueletterbible.com Also,
if you are a theist who believes in revealed knowledge (in a

book like the Bible or Book of Mormon) then cite the principles
and back them up with a reference.
· Remember not to tell us what you did or how you decided
until the EPILOGUE. Act like a ROBOT and crank through the
MMDM to produce a decision. It doesn’t matter if your
decision was completely different from what happened in
reality.
· Robotically list facts. Robotically explain ethical tensions.
Robotically list your moral principles. Robotically list
alternatives. Robotically analyze options to see how they are
supported/not-supported by principles. Robotically calculate
consequences. Robotically make a decision.
· BE CLEAR. Don’t make your reader guess. Make your paper
reader-friendly.
Book/Blog Project:
OPTIONAL
(submit paper to me after the semester is over)
· I do hope that this model will be useful to you in the future. It
can be of use to people of every religion (just insert your
religion’s ethical principles) and of every non-religion. The
purpose of this paper is to give you a working model for tough
ethical decisions in your life. It is very methodical and keeps
the different parts of decision making separate on purpose.
· Students solve some messy and horrible situations with this
model and they are very thankful for it. This is why I want to
do a blog and book to encourage more people to use a model
like this to work through their problems.
· Email me in the future if it helps you in a tough situation in
real life! - [email protected] or CHRIS TUFFER HAMMONS

(Indiana Jones Face) on Facebook.
· If you want to change the names and dates and fudge some
facts on this paper, you are more than welcome to submit it to
the book/blog project at www.christopherhammons.com or
https://christufferhammons.wordpress.com/
1
General Feedback on Ethics Paper #1 (Personal Decision/Rae
Paper)
April 10, 2017
Suggestions: Dallas Willard www.dwillard.org and
Cloud/Townsend http://www.cloudtownsend.com/The Ethic of
Jesus and Paul
This issue of ethics was the most important philosophical
issue in the eyes of Socrates and Plato: “We are talking about
no small matter, but how we should live!” Plato has Socrates
rebuke his followers in the Republic with this line. On their
read of things, our job is to figure out human nature and the
path of growth into virtue.
Christianity might be false (let me make that disclaimer),
but I would argue that the ethic of Jesus and Paul and the path
of growth (through the spiritual disciplines: fellowship,
worship, study, service, prayer, fasting, meditation, silence,
solitude, simplicity, confession, celebration, etc.) into being
virtuous individuals cannot be beat by any other philosophers
out there. The best guy on this to read is the late philosopher,
Dallas Willard: www.dwillard.org in books like Renovation of
the Heart (and Revolution of Character is the same book in
easier-to-understand language) and The Spirit of the Disciplines
(where he argues against Karl Marx and claims a holy and
virtuous people will destroy structural evils in society in one
chapter). Email me if you want suggestions: [email protected]

Many of my friends (with Ph.D.s in philosophy) just do not
understand Christianity and they make straw man arguments
against it. You may conclude that God doesn’t exist and that
Jesus wasn’t raised from the dead, but (in the spirit of John
Stuart Mill) learn the views and the arguments for it before
dismissing Jesus because of straw man arguments like, “Look at
the Westboro Baptists!”
After living with one of these guys for a year (and arguing 25
hours a week), he came to say, “Wow, Tuffer. I thought
Christianity was stupid, but now I think it is a rational and
plausible worldview. For now, I think scientific atheism
(Naturalism) is a little more plausible, so I am just going to
wait for God (if S/He exists) to show up in my life.” To his
wish, I think Willard’s book, Hearing God, is so important. If
even a few of the stories in the Bible are true, then God is
talking to us every day whether we are listening or not. This is
a 2nd order capacity we have in our souls that needs to be
developed—most of us are not listening and most of us do not
know how to listen. See Willard for more. Henry Cloud and
John Townsend (I’ve read 10 of these many times)
Most of you wrote on boundary issues with friends,
parents, coworkers, bosses, roommates, significant others, etc.
and these are (often) the largest ethical problems all of us face
in life. We all need a philosophy of friendship, a philosophy of
being a child, parent, sibling, co-worker, manager. Aristotle
said it takes study and time to become people of practical
wisdom. It just doesn’t happen without work.
One issue that I often see in papers is a problem with Step
4 and the alternatives. Brainstorming alternatives is always an
enormous problem for humans in any decision-making format
(e.g. National Security Council, corporations, families,
administrators at universities, managers, etc.). With regards to
personal relationships I want to recommend the following books
to help see how there are many more alternatives open to us.
Many of us see relationships as being 100% or nothing (and
sometimes that is the case), when there are options of 1%, 30%,

75%, etc. This takes study and experience trying things.
Henry Cloud and John Townsend, Boundaries (book and
workbook) and Safe People.
· This surveys all types of boundaries between ourselves and
parents and friends, etc.
· I had to cut off my best friend for 3 months after reading this
book. Another time, I had to cut off a relationship for a year
until he respected boundaries.
John Townsend, Beyond Boundaries. Henry Cloud, Necessary
Endings.
· This helped me deal with a relationship where there was a lot
of manipulation and control. This will help you learn how to
set up temporary “protective boundaries” in love and know
when to take them down or if they need to stay up until a person
behaves and respects your boundaries.
Cloud and Townsend, Boundaries in Dating and Boundaries in
Marriage.
· This has helped countless people deal with the problems of
ending a potentially good relationship too soon (for fickle
Seinfeld-like reasons), and staying in a bad relationship way too
long. They give case after case after case where you will see all
of the relationships around you along that continuum. This
helps people distinguish between “yellow flags” and “red flags”
in relationships (which most of us don’t get).
See books here: http://www.cloudtownsend.com/
1
Paper)
April 10, 2017
Suggestions:

Dallas Willard
www.dwillard.org
and Cloud/Townsend
http://www
.cloudtownsend.com/
The Ethic of Jesus and Paul
This issue of ethics was the most important philosophical issue
in the eyes of Socrates and Plato:
“
We are talking about no small matter,
but how we shoul
d live!
”
Plato has Socrates rebuke his followers
in the
Republic
with this line. On their read of things,
our job is to figure out human nature and the path
of growth into virtue
.
Christianity might be false (let me make that disclai
mer), but I would argue that the ethic of
Jesus and Paul and the path of growth (through the spiritual
disciplines: fellowship, worship, study,
service, prayer,
fast
ing, meditation,
silence, solitude, simplicity, confession
, celebration, etc.) into being

virtuous individuals c
annot be beat by any other philosophers out there.
The best guy on this to read is
the late philosopher, Dallas Willard:
www.dwillard.org
in books like
Renovation of the Heart
(
and
R
evolution of Character
is the sam
e book i
n easier
-
to
-
understand language)
and
The Spirit of the
Disciplines
(where he argues against Karl Marx and claims a
holy and virtuous people
will destroy
structural evils in society in one chapter)
.
Email me i
f you want sugges
t
i
o
ns:
[email protected]

understand Christianity and they
make straw man arguments against it.
You may conclude that God doesn
’
t exist and that Jesus wasn
’
t
raised from the dead, but (in the spirit of John Stuart Mill) learn
the views and
the arguments for it
before dismissing Jesus because of
straw man arguments like,
“
Look at
the Westboro Bapti
sts
!
”
Aft
er living with one of these guys for a year (and arguing 25 hours
a week), he came to say,
“
Wow, Tuffer. I thought Christianity was stupid, but now I think
it is a rational and plausible worldview.
For now, I think scientific atheism (Naturalism) is a little more
plausible, so
I am just going to wait for
God

(if S/He exists) to show up in my life
.
”
To his wish,
I think Willard
’
s book,
Hearing God,
is so
important. If even a few of the stories in the Bible are true,
then God is talking to us every day whether
we are listening or not
. T
his is a
2
nd
order capacity we have
in our souls
that needs to be developed
—
most
of us are not listening and most of us do not know how to listen.
See Willard for more.
1
Paper)
April 10, 2017

Suggestions: Dallas Willard www.dwillard.org and
Cloud/Townsend http://www.cloudtownsend.com/
The Ethic of Jesus and Paul
This issue of ethics was the most important philosophical issue
in the eyes of Socrates and Plato:
“We are talking about no small matter, but how we should live!”
Plato has Socrates rebuke his followers
in the Republic with this line. On their read of things, our job
is to figure out human nature and the path
of growth into virtue.
Christianity might be false (let me make that disclaimer), but I
would argue that the ethic of
Jesus and Paul and the path of growth (through the spiritual
disciplines: fellowship, worship, study,
service, prayer, fasting, meditation, silence, solitude,
simplicity, confession, celebration, etc.) into being
virtuous individuals cannot be beat by any other philosophers
out there. The best guy on this to read is
the late philosopher, Dallas Willard: www.dwillard.org in books
like Renovation of the Heart (and
Revolution of Character is the same book in easier-to-
understand language) and The Spirit of the
Disciplines (where he argues against Karl Marx and claims a
holy and virtuous people will destroy
structural evils in society in one chapter). Email me if you
want suggestions:
[email protected]
understand Christianity and they
make straw man arguments against it. You may conclude that
God doesn’t exist and that Jesus wasn’t
raised from the dead, but (in the spirit of John Stuart Mill) learn
the views and the arguments for it
before dismissing Jesus because of straw man arguments like,
“Look at the Westboro Baptists!”

After living with one of these guys for a year (and arguing 25
hours a week), he came to say,
“Wow, Tuffer. I thought Christianity was stupid, but now I
think it is a rational and plausible worldview.
For now, I think scientific atheism (Naturalism) is a little more
plausible, so I am just going to wait for
God (if S/He exists) to show up in my life.” To his wish, I
think Willard’s book, Hearing God, is so
important. If even a few of the stories in the Bible are true,
then God is talking to us every day whether
we are listening or not. This is a 2
nd
order capacity we have in our souls that needs to be
developed—
most of us are not listening and most of us do not know how to
listen. See Willard for more.
1
Personal Decision Paper (with Rae’s 7-step MMDM)
NAME________________________________________1: THE
FACTS (sketch out a few)2: The Ethical Issues (Tensions) (X
vs. Y format)
1. (B) __________________________________ vs.
__________________________________________
2. (C) _________________________________ vs.
__________________________________________
3. (D) __________________________________
vs._________________________________________3: Ethical
Principles
1. .
2. .
3. .
4. .

5. .
6. .4: The Alternatives
1. .
2. .
3. .
4. .
5. .
6. .
7. .5: The AnalysisAlternative
1____________________________________________________
_____________________
(1) Principle 1: Affirms / Discourages (circle one)
(2) Principle 2: “
Alternative
2____________________________________________________
________________________
(1) Principle 1
(2) Principle 2
(3) Principle 3
(4) Principle 4
(5) Principle 5
Alternative
3____________________________________________________
_____________________
(1) Principle 1
(2) Principle 2
(3) Principle 3
(4) Principle 4
(5) Principle 5
Alternative
4____________________________________________________
__________________

(1) Principle 1
(2) Principle 2
(3) Principle 3
(4) Principle 4
(5) Principle 5
Alternative
5____________________________________________________
_____________________
(1) Principle 1
(2) Principle 2
(3) Principle 3
(4) Principle 4
(5) Principle 5
6: Consequences (of top two alternatives)
(1) .
(2) .
7: THE DECISION
Scott B. Rae’s Model for Moral Decision Making
(From Dr. Scott Rae’s, Moral Choices: An Introduction to
Ethics, 2nd ed)
Last Update: 9 January 2012
1. Gather the Facts
0. We need to know all of the available facts. Some dilemmas
may be resolved by a simple clarification of the facts.
1. Determine the Ethical Issues

1. State these in terms of “legitimate competing interests or
goods”
1. Present in an X vs. Y format to make things clear.
1. What Principles Have a Bearing on the Case?
2. What deontological principles come to bear on the situation?
2. Which principles should be weighted more heavily?
1. List the Alternatives
3. Develop the different courses of action
3. List ALL conceivable alternatives. Brainstorm and be
creative.
1. Compare the Alternatives with the Principles
4. Eliminate all of the alternatives possible with the moral
principles that you isolated.
4. This should solve the problem. If not, proceed to the next
step.
1. Consider the Consequences
5. Consider both positive and negative consequences.
5. Weigh these informally, since positive and negative
consequences vary.
1. Make a Decision
6. You may not deliberate for eternity. Make a decision.
6. General George S. Patton: “If you are 55% sure of a
decision, execute it. If you are 80% sure of a decision, execute
it violently.”

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