article on communication

1. Article on communication
Good Communication Starts With
Listening
In my first article, I discussed some barriers to communication and how good
communication promotes better understanding of people, reduces conflict, and
enhances relationships. In this article, I talk about the importance of "listening" as the
foundation to good communication.
Many of us think that communication is talking - and talk we do. We interrupt, advise,
reassure, judge, analyze, criticize, argue, moralize, threaten, divert, diagnose, etc.,
etc. But, good communication requires good listening as well as talking. In fact, since
we have two ears and only one mouth, listening just might be the more important
skill. However, we receive almost no training in good listening and usually do not
realize that really "hearing" someone is not a passive activity.
To be a good listener, we must, first, pay attention. The remainder of this article will
focus on "attending" skills. The next article will discuss how to listen "actively" rather
than passively.
When you are speaking and someone is not paying attention, how do you feel?
Annoyed, frustrated, discounted, rejected, anxious or angry? Such feelings usually
make communication more difficult. So how can we show someone who is speaking
that we really are paying attention to them? We can do this both nonverbally and
verbally.
Research shows that about 85% of what we communicate is nonverbal. This
includes our posture, physical movements, eye contact and our psychological
presence. So, when someone is speaking to you, is your posture inclined toward the
speaker, so as to invite and encourage expression? Or is your back turned or your
arms or legs tightly crossed, which discourages and cuts off involvement? Are you
fidgeting or otherwise distracting the speaker or yourself? Are you making good eye
contact with the person? By looking at and observing the speaker, not only will the
speaker feel "attended" to, you will learn more about what is really important to him
or her. Finally, we cannot pretend to pay attention by employing these physical
techniques without also being psychologically present. We can’t fake interest. The
speaker will know if our hearts and minds are not really there.
Verbal ways of showing that we are paying attention include 1) an open invitation to
talk, 2) using one or two words to encourage talking to continue, 3) asking open-
ended questions and 4) knowing when to be silent. For example, "You look like
something is bothering you. Do you want to talk about it?" describes a person’s body
language followed by an open invitation to talk. It is important to silently allow the
person time to decide whether to talk and what to talk about. If someone chooses not
to accept the invitation, don’t try to force them. Back off and respect their privacy.

2. Brief responses to encourage continued talking include "mm-hmmm," "I see," "Oh?"
"Right," "And?" "Go on," "Tell me more," etc. These don’t imply either agreement or
disagreement. They simply mean "Yes, I hear you - please go on."
A good listener uses questions sparingly because questions tend to focus the
conversation on the questioner’s perspective and concerns and can derail the focus
of the speaker. Work on asking fewer questions, and when you do, ask "open-
ended" questions. Compare "Did you call the police?" to "What did you do?" Or, "Do
you feel anxious about the meeting tomorrow?" to "How do you feel about the
meeting tomorrow?" An open-ended question is like an essay question which allows
the speaker, rather than the questioner, to lead the conversation and clarify his or
her own concerns. A closed question is like a true/false question and often suggests
or narrows the agenda.
Finally, knowing when to be silent can be a powerful communication tool. Silence
allows the speaker to become aware of his or her own feelings, to explore more
deeply and to proceed at his or her own pace. Because many listeners become self-
conscious with silence, they feel the need to "break" it by talking or asking questions.
Unfortunately, this usually disrupts and derails the speaker. How can silence be
handled? Pay attention to the body posture of the speaker and "listen" to what it says
to you. Try to imagine what the speaker might be feeling, consider various ways that
you might respond, and then choose the most helpful response.
CLIPPING NEWS REPORT
IIT Roorkee expells 73 students for poor performance
IIT Roorkee has expelled 73 students for faring badly in the first year B Tech
programme, scoring less than 5 in the Cumulative Grade Point Average
(CGPA).
The expulsion was carried out after taking into account their mercy plea which
was rejected by the institute’s apex academic body.
During the admission, the parents had signed declaration that the poor
performance could lead to expulsion of the students, IIT Roorkee officials
said.
The institute had warned the students in May to pull up their socks, after the
second semester exams, and they were given time to file a mercy appeal.
HRD Ministry officials maintained silence over the episode, saying the IITs are
autonomous bodies, governed by their own rules. Ministry officials said such
expulsion (though large in this particular case) was not an aberration as it had

3. happened earlier also in IIT Kharagpur and IIT Kanpur. A professor of an IIT
also raised questions over the revamped IIT-JEE entrance test which makes it
“relatively easier” for a student to crack the objective type questions if “luck
favours him”. Officials recalled receiving pleas from students directly for
leniency whose CGPA was less than five.
The Importance of Communication in
Relationships
by Daniel Evans
Reiki Master and Pranic Healer
Communication is so very important in relationships, all types of
relationships, not just romantic relationships. And the communication includes both the
verbal and nonverbal varieties.
A relationship is a connection and exchange between people. Communication plays a
large role in the exchange between people. It exchanges information in the form of
ideas, wants, desires, feelings, and much more. Incomplete or stopped communication
can create a block in the relationship. The degree of the block can vary with the severity
or repeating of the communication stop. A block in the relationship exists or will grow
when communication is just flat out avoided.
A childhood covenant that I made was to avoid upsetting other people. Now this did not
always give me good behavior. Instead, it got me to avoid communicating any topics
that I perceived would upset someone else. However, in adult relationships, this
behavior only avoided the hard issues that people have to work through for the
relationship to be healthy and to grow.
A communication avoidance or stop will prevent that topic from being shared and gone
through. When enough of these areas build up or a couple important ones develop, it
behaves as if there were clamps on the lungs of the relationship. The relationship has
trouble breathing. Without this exchange of life energy, the relationship cannot grow, it
may struggle, and if it is severe enough, then the relationship suffers and dies. The
relationship can be considered to be a living entity just as each one of us are living.
There has to be a continuous flow of energy through each and every living entity. The
flow is between each partner of the relationship and between the relating partners and
the environment. Just as in an individual body, when the energy is blocked or stopped, a
disease or illness starts to develop. The key for a healthy and growing relationship is to
keep the communications flowing.
Communication can be stopped in a variety of ways. Avoidance was already mentioned.
If both partners avoid the same subject, then it will never arise in conversation. If only
one is avoiding the subject, they might just stop the conversation when that topic comes
up. This is usually obvious. They might also divert the conversation and depending on
their skill, this can be obvious or it can be done without notice. In either case, that
aspect of the relationship that reflects that subject will cease to move. However, if the
other partner notices the diversion or avoidance, then the interpretations or stories that
the person puts on the avoidance can magnify the effect. And some people are good at

4. creating some very negative interpretations for minor events.
Nonverbal communication can be even trickier. People put a lot of communication into
nonverbal forms. This is especially true when people are approaching new romantic
situations. Many people are not comfortable verbalizing enough of the romantic details.
So the approach to romance is mostly through nonverbal signals. However, when the
flow is broken, if the reason is not sufficiently verbalized, (such as, "I would love to ...,
but right now because of ...) then the break is often taken as a permanent "no" or stop.
This is why many people feel that they have only one chance as they enter a new
relationship.
If you recognize that you are having difficulty in starting a communication topic, there
are a variety of ways to get it going. If you can't say what you need to, you may be able
to write it instead. If you can't approach a person directly, you can enlist the help of
another friend to bring up the topic in front of the write person. You can also arrange
items or events to cause a discussion of the appropriate topic. Sometimes you cannot
talk about something because it got labeled as something to not talk about, so you don't
talk about it at all with anyone. In this case, if you can find someone to tell, it will help
to remove the power that item holds over you. It will usually be easier to tell someone
who is removed from the subject. You can tell a stranger in a bar, a priest in a
confessional, or a room of strangers in a therapy workshop. Whatever gets the flow
moving is good and will reduce the power of that item. However, once a stuck item is
nudged, then other communications or actions may be required to keep the energy of
the release of the subject continuing. You have to pay attention to see what is needed.
However, paying attention is an important half of communication. Communication is part
giving and part receiving. Both parts are necessary by both partners for good
communications. Some people are good listeners and some are good talkers, but both
partners have to do both for complete and effective communication. Communications
can be stopped on both sides, by avoidance of the giving or telling, and by avoidance of
the receiving. Attention has to be given to both sides of communication to insure that
the communication remains completed by both partners and that stops or blocks are
addressed and released to allow the relationship to grow in a healthy fashion.
Clipping news report
Pay more now to see Taj Mahal
Agra: Entry tickets for the Taj Mahal and other historical monuments in Agra will now cost more.A
foreign visitor to the Taj will now pay Rs,1,000, up from Rs.750. Domestic tourists will shell out
Rs.40 a ticket, instead of Rs.20 earlier.The Archaeological Survey of India (ASI) announced the new
rates on Thursday, to be effective from April 1.Tourists will also pay more for tickets to Sikandra,
Agra Fort, Fatehpur Sikri, Etmauddaula and other lesser known monuments.The Taj, built in the 17th
century, is India's biggest tourist draw.
Print article
St. Nihal Singh, "Indian Students in America"
DESCRIPTION
Article by St. Nihal Singh on the experiences of Indians students in America, published in the
August 1908 issue of the Calcutta-based Modern Review. Singh describes the various reactions

5. that Indians receive from Americans: "To an average American, every one who hails from
Hindostan is a "Hindoo" -- and no matter how clever he may be, he is taken for a nirvanic and
unanimated character." Elsewhere, Singh writes that for another class of Americans "the Indian
is the representative of the dark and dismal regions of 'heathendom.'" Singh also describes the
effect of "color prejudice," and how the Indian student is often mistreated as a Negro, and treated
poorly as a result, citing the example of one Dr. Nat C. Baynes, from Madras, whose photograph
is included in the article. Singh also goes into detail about other issues that face Indian students,
including basic sustenance, the cost of living, and so on, and goes into detail about several
Americans who have have helped Indian students through collegiate organizations.
Includes nine unique images of the following subjects: 1) Lucy Euphemea Adams, 2) Nat C.
Baynes, 3) Jatindra Mohan Bose, 4) Sayyid Mohamad Jaffer, 5) May Wright Sewall, 6) Mr. and
Mrs. Forssell, 7) Shankar Rao, 8) Metropolitan Firm of Advertisers (Including an Indian Artist), 9)
Indian Students in Chicago.