7 Lessons for Better Networking with Social Media

1. 7 Lessons for Better Networking with Social Media
by Soren Gordhamer
(source: http://mashable.com/2010/01/18/better-social-networking/#qJGsbfXtYsqV)
Social media allows us to discover, connect, and engage with new people of interest.
While most people are open to new connections and receiving messages from people
they don't know, there is a fine line between reaching out and "spamming." The challenge
is to make a connection clearly and effectively without wasting people's time.
Many of us are on both sides of this relationship — sometimes making the connection,
sometimes receiving the invitation. To help navigate these waters a little better, I've
outlined seven key lessons for improving your social networking skills.

2. 7 Lessons for Better Networking with Social Media
1. Find a Person’s Preferred Communication Channel
If you want to contact someone you have never communicated with before,
do some research. Find the person’s preferred communication channel. If
they have a website, check out their contact page and see if they encourage
people to contact them in a particular way, and follow their suggestion.
It also helps to discover what level of participation they have on various
social networks (Twitter, Facebook, YouTube) to see which places may be
best to engage them. When is the last time they posted on Twitter or
Facebook? Do they respond to the @replies they receive on Twitter or
comments on a Facebook page? Get a sense of their preferred means of
communication, and make contact where they are.
Lesson: Go where they are.

3. 7 Lessons for Better Networking with Social Media
2. Say Just Enough
This cannot be emphasized enough, and it is probably my toughest challenge.
In the age of social media, we may be able to get the attention of more
people, but we get it for a much shorter amount of time. One of the biggest
mistakes I see people make, is that they send long e-mails or social media
messages explaining all the reasons they want to connect. You are likely have
not earned not earned the five minutes of the recipient's time that it will take
to read that message.
Brevity is built right into Twitter, making it a great platform for making a first
connection. However, if you use other channels, keep it simple. If there are
700 words you eventually want to get across, include only 50 in the first
contact. Let the person choose if he or she would like more. You can fill in the
rest later. I prefer a less complete 50 words than 700 words that tell me more
than I need to know.
Lesson: Less is more.

4. 7 Lessons for Better Networking with Social Media
3. Don’t Expect a Response
I often see e-mails with phrases like “Please respond,” or “please get back to me.”
Unless it is an old friend or a colleague, if you are contacting someone new, you are
not entitled to a response. If the person wants to get back to you, he or she will.
It is much better to say “If this is not of interest, feel no need to get back to me.”
At times I hear people complain because they reached out to someone and never
heard back. The fact is most people do not have the time to get back to everyone
who contacts them to say, "not interested." Open a door without adding pressure.
There may be times to follow-up, of course, but don’t do so with resentment or
frustration.
Lesson: Say what you need to and then let it go.

5. 7 Lessons for Better Networking with Social Media
4. Clarify Early
This may seem like common sense, but don't wait for the last line of your message to
say that you want to meet for lunch, or ask your contact if he'd like to speak at an event.
Put it right up front. If he cannot provide what you're looking for, he'll know sooner
rather than later, and will appreciate you for it.
Lesson: Say it up front.

6. 7 Lessons for Better Networking with Social Media
5. What You Want is Not the Point
You may think that what you want is a phone call or lunch meeting to discuss your big idea.
But communication is more than any one project or meeting. What you really want is an
authentic connection. In a very real way, it doesn't necessarily matter if the person is
interested in discussing your project idea. What matters is whether you are making a
connection .If you focus on the relationship more than the specific request, and the person
has a pleasant experience reading your opening communication, it is likely the door will
remain open for possible collaboration in the future, and the next e-mail you send will
more likely be fruitful.
Lesson: No one knows what the future may hold, so make the moment count. Ensure the
door stays open, even if no one is walking through it right now.

7. 7 Lessons for Better Networking with Social Media
6. Be Open Without Needing
Needy never goes over well. Statements like “I really need to talk to you,” or “it is essential
that we speak,” show your general insecurity. There is a huge difference between being
open to collaboration and “needing” it. Do not make contact until you find that place in
yourself that is totally comfortable with any outcome, including a strong “no” or no
response at all. Only then can you make authentic contact. When you do, openness rather
than need will come through in your words.
Lesson: Speak from openness rather than need.

8. 7 Lessons for Better Networking with Social Media
7. Give Space
The key questions people have when someone new reaches out to
them, particularly those who are quite busy, are “Do I have time to
bring this person into my network? How much time will they take?”
Therefore, it is generally not helpful to send too many e-mails. Doing
this may send the signal that you are going to take a lot of the
recipient's time and send numerous e-mails every day, and
communicating with you will take great effort.
Instead, give communication some space. Unless something is very
timely, let a bit of time pass before sending a response. Let
communication have some breathing room. Once there is some level
of trust, you can experiment with more immediate information
exchange.
Lesson: Focus on thoughtful instead of continual contact.