Direct victim blaming shocks us. I would like to believe that we have advanced as a society from a culture where women were accused of provoking violence or rape.

1. Website: https://www.bayridgecounsellingcentres.ca/ Phone: (905) 319-1488
People Are Not Your Mirrors

2. Website: https://www.bayridgecounsellingcentres.ca/ Phone: (905) 319-1488
Direct victim blaming shocks us. I
would like to believe that we have
advanced as a society from a
culture where women were accused
of provoking violence or rape.
However, often we blame
ourselves when we something goes
wrong in a relationship: “My
partner broke up with me because I
gained weight” / “I didn’t get the
job, because I failed the
interview”. The leitmotif is “I am
not good enough”.
You can argue that on the surface, it might be true, a person can leave because of
any reason including a change of the partner’s appearance, candidates are
supposed to be brilliant on their interview and so on. It might be accurate, but the
approach is a simplification, the interactions between people are more
complicated than they seem.
First, you are You. You have a right to be yourself. Second, some people may not
like you, but they don’t reflect you. They have their perceptions, reasons, and
judgments. People are not Mirrors, their reflections of us might be
incorrect. Third, it’s difficult to say from where their comments originate: from
their hidden reasons, which they wouldn’t let you know; from their low self-
esteem and an intention to increase it devaluating you; from their envy or their
place of vulnerability.
My mother used to say that my brother was much better than me, it took years to
find out that he had been told the same. She made us compete and believed that
it was for our own good.

3. Website: https://www.bayridgecounsellingcentres.ca/ Phone: (905) 319-1488
If you catch yourself self- blaming and telling yourself that you are not good
enough, please revise your beliefs and try to find where it comes from. If you
stuck and can’t do it on your own connect with Bayridge Counselling
Centres to schedule your session at 905-319-1488.
Source: https://www.bayridgecounsellingcentres.ca/people-are-not-your-
mirrors/