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Academic Delay of Gratification, Motivation and Self-regulated
Learning Strategies
How students can more effectively delay gratification
Posted Mar 27, 2009
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Competing intentions. We all have them; Exercise as we
intended, or spend another night as couch potato. A recent study
on academic delay of gratification sheds some light on the self-
regulatory skills and learning strategies that successful students
use to delay gratification.
Héfer Bembenutty (link is external) (Queens College, City
University of New York) has been doing research related to
academic self-regulation and delay of gratification for over a
decade. His research also includes studies on the effects of test
anxiety on learning, homework self-regulation, self-efficacy
beliefs and multicultural education. It is obvious that he is a
dedicated educator with a clear focus on evidence-based
practice. One of his most recent publications appeared in the
February issue of the journal Personality and Individual
Differences.
Academic Delay of GratificationAs Dr. Bembenutty describes
on his Web site (link is external), "Academic delay of
gratification refers to learners' intentions to postpone
immediately available rewards in order to obtain larger rewards
temporally distant. Delay of gratification is important for self-
regulation of learning because, for example, alternatives to
academic goals are attractive, in part, because they offer
immediate gratification, in contrast to rewards for academic
goals (e.g., grades, degrees) that are temporally remote."
Certainly, every teacher knows how important student self-
regulatory skills are to successful learning. As I've written
previously, these volitional skills (sometimes even as simple as
keeping the seat of one's pants on the seat of the chair) are
propaedeutic to every other learned skill.
In this most recent study, Bembenutty sought to explore the
relation of delay of gratification to motivational and self-
regulatory variables. In addition, he wanted to explore potential
gender differences - do males and females have different
motivations or self-regulatory skills related to their ability to
delay gratification?
The studyUsing a sample of 250 college students (153 females)
with an average age of about 20 years, Bembenutty measured
academic delay of gratification, preferences for immediately
available distracting options (e.g., hang out with friends as
opposed to work on assignments), their motivation for staying
on task (e.g., how important the academic tasks are or how they
perceive the negative consequences of failing to stay on task),
as well as an academic volitional strategy inventory (e.g.,
reminding themselves of their goals and intentions - something
I've written about from other research known as self-
affirmation).
The resultsAs always, I will only summarize some of the key
findings.
1. Although most of the motivation scores were significantly
correlated with delay of gratification, of the motivational
variables, "importance of the alternatives" was the most highly
related to delay of gratification. To the extent that students saw
their academic tasks as more important than competing
alternatives, they are more likely to stay on task.
2. Delay of gratification was related to two key self-regulated
learning skills - self-efficacy enhancement and value-based
incentives. As we've seen in previous research, to the extent
that students feel competent and work to increase these feelings
of competence (self-efficacy), and to the extent that they
internalize the value of pursuing the academic goal, the more
likely they are to delay gratification.
3. Gender made a difference. First, the regression analyses
revealed that females were more likely to delay gratification
than males, although the effect size for this finding is small.
Second, as Bembenutty writes, "Students' willingness to delay
was influenced by their perception that the delay alternatives
could increase their chances of getting a good grade; however
this relationship was stronger for females in comparison to
males. The findings also suggest that females' reported use of
stress-reduction strategies had a greater effect on their
willingness to delay as compared to their male peers" (p. 349).
Implications of this study - what students should take away"The
findings of this study were consistent with the view that
students' willingness to delay gratification is associated with
their use of self-regulated learning strategies and motivation-
related judgments of the delay versus non-delay alternatives"
(p. 351). For example, to the extent that students can use
strategies like reminding themselves of their overall values and
goals (self-affirmation) or focus on the importance of the
academic task in relation to the alternative activity, they are
more likely delay gratification. Of course, this delay of
gratification means that the students don't procrastinate on their
work, leading to increased time and effort on task - key
elements to academic success.
I only have one point of disagreement with my colleague's
interpretation of his findings, particularly his strong emphasis
on cognitive and metacognitive academic processes. I think we
need to think more about emotional processes as well.
Dr. Bembenutty writes, ". . . there is now suggestive evidence
that delay of gratification can be accounted for by the relative
value and expectation of success of engaging in delayed versus
immediate activities typically faced by students" (p. 351). I
believe that the real psychological process for students is not so
much a "value x expectancy" calculation as some measure of
utility, but rather that this serves as a proxy in the research of
an emotional process. To the extent that the students feel that
they will succeed at a task that is valuable to them, they don't
perceive the task as aversive (an emotional response, not a issue
of utility per se) and approach the task rather than avoid it. If
students find the task aversive (typically because they feel a
lack of competence or self-efficacy), their focus will be on
short-term emotional repair, and they "give in to feel good" by
engaging in the alternative task at the expense of their long-
term goals.
My perspective is that students are not lost in thought over
these choices between one task or a competing alternative. They
can make the distinction in the "blink of an eye," and this is
based on an emotional response to the tasks. I argue that many
thoughts follow this, some of which have been measured in this
study such as the measure of self-efficacy (I think that the
measure of importance may simply reflect part of a
rationalization process related to cognitive dissonance, but this
speculation awaits future research).
In the end, Dr. Bembenutty and I agree on the fundamental
importance of academic delay of gratification in terms of the
long-term success of students' learning and performance.
Certainly, delay of gratification is an important aspect of self-
regulated learning, and this can be fostered by helping students
develop and perceive their competence to complete tasks that
are valuable to them.
ReferenceBembenutty, H. (2009). Academic delay of
gratification, self-regulation of learning, gender differences,
and expectancy-value. Personality and Individual Differences,
46, 347-352.
PSY 250 Psychology of Personality
University of Phoenix Material
Personality Reflection
Using the textbook, the University Library, the Internet, and/or
other resources, answer the following questions. Your responses
to each question will vary but overall should be 700- to 1,050-
words in length.
1. How would you define personality?
2. What are some key personality features that define you?
3. What key concepts or “constructs” are used to explain your
personality?
4. Are your personality features consistent or do they change
according to the situation?
5. Have you ever taken a personality test before? If so, what
was your reaction to the analysis? If not, what would you expect
a proper test to measure?
6. What would make a personality test reliable and valid?
PSY250r8
Working with Willpower: An Interview with Kelly McGonigal
How do you define willpower?
Well, I define willpower as the ability to make choices that are
consistent with your biggest goals
and your highest values, even when some part of you doesn’t
want to.
The things that really challenge our willpower are the things
where part of us gets distracted by
immediate gratification or maybe gets overwhelmed by anxiety
or stress and we find it difficult
to remember in those moments what matters most to us.
And so willpower is the ability both to remember what matters
most and the willingness to do
things that support those goals even when self-doubt is present
or even when cravings or
physical pain or anxiety are present, um, to be able to hold
those difficult inner experiences or
other impulses and still direct your energy and attention to
things that matter the most.
How does willpower work?
I like to think of willpower as having three powers. I will, I
won’t, and I want. Um, and we tend
to think, you know, we think about willpower, we think of this
classic example of resisting a
temptation, you know, I won’t eat that chocolate, or I won’t buy
that thing that’s out of my
budget, I won’t smoke that cigarette, or I won’t say that thing
that will get me into trouble.
And that’s just one aspect of willpower, it really is the ability to
recognize when you are about to
do something that is inconsistent with your goals or values and
literally putting on the brakes. So
that’s I won’t power.
But we also need the ability to take action in the direction of
our goals and values; the ability to
say yes to things that maybe are boring or uncomfortable.
You know, an example of that, which I call, I will power, would
be something like being willing
to stay on the treadmill for another five minutes, even though
your legs are saying they’re tired,
or your brain is telling you, “this is boring and I’d rather to do
something else.” Do you have the
motivation and the energy to keep going even in the face of
fatigue or boredom?
And the thing that supports both of those strengths is this last
power that I call I want power.
And that is the ability to actually walk around in the world with
a sense of what your core goals
and values are, um, rather than allowing, sort of, the universe to
impose on you its own agenda.
You know, so much about daily life is, we get interrupted on
our devices, somebody wants this
and it’s an emergency to go do that, and so our, our schedule
and agenda can get hijacked in that
way.
We go into a store, we go into a restaurant and people want to
sell us things that are not healthy
for us or go beyond our budget, and we have to really be able to
interact with the world; uh, with
a key sense of what is it we care about and what matters most to
us. And that is a skill that can
be strengthened as much as the I won’t power of resisting
impulses and the I will power of taking
positive action.
Is it true that I can run out of willpower?
There’s this really interesting area of willpower science that
talks about willpower’s unlimited
resource and there’s a whole bunch of research behind this, and
the basic take home point is that
- we have a limited amount of willpower strength and when we
use it we run out of it. And so,
you know, if we’re spending all our willpower on doing one
thing like counting calories we may
not have any willpower leftover for paying full attention to our
kids when we get home from
work.
But I have to say, so, I’m a little skeptical of this research. Um,
and I will say that when you
take a really close look at the data behind it, what seems to be
limited is our ability to force
ourselves to do things that we don’t really want to do.
And that does seem to be a limited resource. You know, most
of the research that is looking at
this question has asked people to do things that are difficult and
boring and not important, and
not connected to any actual, personal goal. You know, things
like keeping your arm in a bucket
of ice water, or doing really challenging but boring computer
tasks that require heightened
attention and focus.
And in those laboratory experiments this is what you see, that
people basically run out of
willpower. Uh, in the real world, it seems like if you can define
the things that take willpower as
being what you truly want, that willpower is a much less limited
resource, and it’s one of the
reasons why I talk about want power, as being such a key
foundation for willpower. Because
when you view, say, making the healthy choice, as something
that is consistent with what you
care about, then it’s exciting when you see something healthy
on the menu, like, “Oh there’s
something I can order that supports this goal I have of creating
health.” And it doesn’t feel like,
“Oh I have to force myself to eat a vegetable” and all that
depravation mentality.
I think too often we believe that who we really are is the one
who wants indulgence. The one,
you know, who we really are is the one who will only be
satisfied with immediate gratification.
And if you are totally identified with that small part of you,
then yeah, your willpower will is
going run out, because every choice you make that is for your
long-term good is going to feel
like depravation or feel like you’re forcing yourself to.
How can I use willpower now to create a happier and healthier
future for myself?
So, one of the findings from willpower research that I found
most fascinating is the fact that most
people view their future self as a stranger. That when they
think about themselves 10 years or
20 years in the future, it feels like somehow it’s not really them.
And so when you ask people to think about, say, saving money
for retirement or quitting
smoking now to benefit the future self, people will say things
like, “well it seems like a waste”;
like, “like I’m giving my money to a stranger instead of being
able to actually have my money
that I earned”
And one of the ways that I found working with people that
really helps people connect to their
future self is to try to find what researchers call a “self-defining
future memory.” If you look
back over the course of your life, there may have been moments
that are really meaningful to
you, the birth of a child or maybe getting your college diploma,
a graduation ceremony.
Research has shown that people have a much easier time
looking backward than looking forward
for their self-defining moments. And to the degree that you can
look into your future and
imagine a real, vivid, future memory, of something that’s going
to feel important that’s going to
reflect an enduring theme and value during your life and you
can imagine it like a memory that
has already happened - that greatly increases motivation and
willpower and really support people
in making important changes.
So I think that, you know, when we’re thinking for ourselves
about how to change our behavior,
there are all different exercises you can do to, to take this more
hopeful and optimistic sense of
imagining the life that you would like to have and who you
would like to be in the future and the
future memory is one of them.
I often had people in my classes write letters from their future
self, expressing gratitude to their
present self for the courage or the willingness to do the really
difficult things now, whether it’s
quitting smoking or beginning an exercise program, or
beginning to save money, and really
imagine yourself as that future self, looking backward with this
great gratitude and compassion
to the person who was willing to make that change when it was
difficult.
It gives you the sense of both connection to that future self and
the sense that it’s possible. And,
you know, believing that change is possible is, um, is part of
what actually drives our willingness
to do things when it’s still quite difficult.
What is the role of self-compassion in willpower?
Self-compassion is a hugely important part for any sort of
difficult behavior change or health
change. Um, and it’s funny, when I first started teaching the
science of willpower, was the thing
I got the most push back on - I would say, “Research shows,
that it’s really important to forgive
your mistake or your setbacks.” That, you know, “You need to
be less self-critical, and less hard
on yourselves,” and I would have, you know, people in my class
would raise their hands, and
these are, you know, grown adults, uh, and they’d say, “No you
don’t understand - I need to be
more hard on myself, right, I’m so screwed up, you know, I
have so many bad habits, I know I
should change, and I haven’t, you got, you got it completely
wrong.”
When in actually the reality is when you forgive yourself for a
setback, it actually allows you to
connect to the part of you who wants to make the change. And
when you heap on the self-
criticism, the guilt, and the shame, it actually primarily
motivates people to try to escape the
feeling of shame or guilt, uh, often by going back to the very
thing that they would use to numb
negative feelings in the first place, like getting drunk, or buying
something, or comfort food.
Part of self-compassion is, is making the time to actually allow
yourself to feel the desire to
change, even though, right now, the gap feels large. And it’s a
very sort of tender and vulnerable
place to be in, that’s important to, to be willing to go into, to
actually feel with your heart and
your mind, that you want this change for yourself, even as you
maybe are unsure of how that
change is going to unfold, even if there is self-doubt about your
ability to do it. And that’s one
of the ways that self-compassion can really support us. It’s in
those moments of setbacks or self-
doubt, and you make contact with your goal and you think about
how not alone you are, you
know, that every person struggles with some sort of willpower
challenge, that, you know,
everyone knows what it feels like to feel stuck and wonder if
it’s possible to change, and to
recognize that this process doesn’t say anything about how
uniquely screwed up you are; uh, it
says that you’re human and you’re just in the middle of it right
now. And, your future self at
some point will be able to look back with gratitude, from the
other end of the experience.
How can mindfulness improve my willpower?
So, I define mindfulness as a, sort of a three-step process.
Often it gets reduced, sort of, in, in
Western psychology to just paying attention in the present
moment. But if you really think about
mindfulness as a process and the rich tradition it comes from, it
starts with intention, right, that
you have to have a connection to something you care about.
There is a commitment to some
intention. And so part of mindfulness is, really, what we talked
about, is this kind of want
power. Do you know what you want to orient toward in life, do
you know what matters most to
you, or how it is you want to show up in the world? What is
your core intention?
And then, mindfulness includes attention, really paying
attention in an open and curious way, in
a self-compassionate way, to how your own thoughts, and words
and actions are either in line
with that intention or not.
Are there things in your environment that support that intention
or not? Are there relationships
that support that intention or not? Being really curious about
the process, of how you either
choose your intention or move away from your intention.
And then the third part of mindfulness is action. The
willingness to take action based on what
you observed; sometimes referred to as skillful action. And so
when you train that process,
getting very clear of what your intention is; willingness to pay
attention to how you, yourself
move towards it or away from it, the things in your environment
that can support you or sabotage
you. And then you take committed action, small steps every
day. “Well, I don’t know how I’m
going to make this change completely, but I’m going to wait
five minutes, when I wake up in the
morning, I’m going to wait five minutes before I check my
email,” for example. You know,
“and then I’m going to be making a small action of choice that
is consistent with my intention”
and trust that that process eventually supports a much bigger
change.
Do you have any tips for using willpower to overcome an
addiction to technology?
So when it comes to technology there’s sort of a three-step
guide how I think about breaking
addiction to it. One is to recognize that there is nourishing
ways of relating to technology and
destructive ways. And there are actually things you can do
online and with phones that will
make you happier, that will make you more connected to other
people, and that aren’t inherently
addicting. You know, things like, uh, targeted response to other
people on Facebook, has been
shown to make other people like you more and care about your
more. When you go online and
you respond to a friend’s photo and it strengthens the
relationship and it also tends not to be as
addictive when you’re not just scrolling through, but you’re
actually using it to strengthen real
world connections. That sort of thing, you should make time in
your life to do it. I mean, forget
about trying to control it, uh, in the same way you would look
for nourishing foods, things that
would actually sustain you. And, the same time to recognize
that there are all these destructive
ways to getting lost online, and to really begin to recognize the
cost that it takes on your life, to
really ask yourself, “what is this getting in the way of?” And
then to start experimenting with
small changes that are consistent with your intention to change.
Like, I was saying, you know,
it’s a big thing for a lot people to get out of bed in the morning
before they check their phone.
And if you’re sleeping with your phone and you’re used to
getting up in the morning by scrolling
and checking email, then yeah, that’s going to be a really good
first starting point.
Or maybe you set a rule for yourself that, you know, the first
hour that you’re at home, the cell
phone goes in a drawer. So you get at least 60 minutes of
whoever is in the house with you, you
know, kids, spouse, they get your undistracted attention. And
then after that hour you can pull
your phone back out and do whatever you want.
Many people, you know, they’re spending an hour or two hours
a night before they go to sleep
on their phones or on their computers and they’re not going to
sleep on time and then they’re
also having difficulty falling asleep, because of the way that
technology and blue screens
interfere with sleep biology.
So for another person it might be, forget what you’re doing
during the day that’s fine, but the
phone, you have to hide it, for at least an hour before you think
you want to go to sleep.
Again it’s all about paying attention to what it is that matters
for you.
Working with Willpower: An Interview with Kelly
McGonigalHow do you define willpower?

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  • 1. Academic Delay of Gratification, Motivation and Self-regulated Learning Strategies How students can more effectively delay gratification Posted Mar 27, 2009 · SHARE · TWEET · EMAIL · MORE · SHARE · SHARE · STUMBLE · SHARE Competing intentions. We all have them; Exercise as we intended, or spend another night as couch potato. A recent study on academic delay of gratification sheds some light on the self- regulatory skills and learning strategies that successful students use to delay gratification. Héfer Bembenutty (link is external) (Queens College, City University of New York) has been doing research related to academic self-regulation and delay of gratification for over a decade. His research also includes studies on the effects of test anxiety on learning, homework self-regulation, self-efficacy beliefs and multicultural education. It is obvious that he is a dedicated educator with a clear focus on evidence-based practice. One of his most recent publications appeared in the February issue of the journal Personality and Individual Differences. Academic Delay of GratificationAs Dr. Bembenutty describes on his Web site (link is external), "Academic delay of gratification refers to learners' intentions to postpone immediately available rewards in order to obtain larger rewards temporally distant. Delay of gratification is important for self- regulation of learning because, for example, alternatives to academic goals are attractive, in part, because they offer
  • 2. immediate gratification, in contrast to rewards for academic goals (e.g., grades, degrees) that are temporally remote." Certainly, every teacher knows how important student self- regulatory skills are to successful learning. As I've written previously, these volitional skills (sometimes even as simple as keeping the seat of one's pants on the seat of the chair) are propaedeutic to every other learned skill. In this most recent study, Bembenutty sought to explore the relation of delay of gratification to motivational and self- regulatory variables. In addition, he wanted to explore potential gender differences - do males and females have different motivations or self-regulatory skills related to their ability to delay gratification? The studyUsing a sample of 250 college students (153 females) with an average age of about 20 years, Bembenutty measured academic delay of gratification, preferences for immediately available distracting options (e.g., hang out with friends as opposed to work on assignments), their motivation for staying on task (e.g., how important the academic tasks are or how they perceive the negative consequences of failing to stay on task), as well as an academic volitional strategy inventory (e.g., reminding themselves of their goals and intentions - something I've written about from other research known as self- affirmation). The resultsAs always, I will only summarize some of the key findings. 1. Although most of the motivation scores were significantly correlated with delay of gratification, of the motivational variables, "importance of the alternatives" was the most highly related to delay of gratification. To the extent that students saw their academic tasks as more important than competing alternatives, they are more likely to stay on task. 2. Delay of gratification was related to two key self-regulated learning skills - self-efficacy enhancement and value-based incentives. As we've seen in previous research, to the extent that students feel competent and work to increase these feelings
  • 3. of competence (self-efficacy), and to the extent that they internalize the value of pursuing the academic goal, the more likely they are to delay gratification. 3. Gender made a difference. First, the regression analyses revealed that females were more likely to delay gratification than males, although the effect size for this finding is small. Second, as Bembenutty writes, "Students' willingness to delay was influenced by their perception that the delay alternatives could increase their chances of getting a good grade; however this relationship was stronger for females in comparison to males. The findings also suggest that females' reported use of stress-reduction strategies had a greater effect on their willingness to delay as compared to their male peers" (p. 349). Implications of this study - what students should take away"The findings of this study were consistent with the view that students' willingness to delay gratification is associated with their use of self-regulated learning strategies and motivation- related judgments of the delay versus non-delay alternatives" (p. 351). For example, to the extent that students can use strategies like reminding themselves of their overall values and goals (self-affirmation) or focus on the importance of the academic task in relation to the alternative activity, they are more likely delay gratification. Of course, this delay of gratification means that the students don't procrastinate on their work, leading to increased time and effort on task - key elements to academic success. I only have one point of disagreement with my colleague's interpretation of his findings, particularly his strong emphasis on cognitive and metacognitive academic processes. I think we need to think more about emotional processes as well. Dr. Bembenutty writes, ". . . there is now suggestive evidence that delay of gratification can be accounted for by the relative value and expectation of success of engaging in delayed versus immediate activities typically faced by students" (p. 351). I believe that the real psychological process for students is not so much a "value x expectancy" calculation as some measure of
  • 4. utility, but rather that this serves as a proxy in the research of an emotional process. To the extent that the students feel that they will succeed at a task that is valuable to them, they don't perceive the task as aversive (an emotional response, not a issue of utility per se) and approach the task rather than avoid it. If students find the task aversive (typically because they feel a lack of competence or self-efficacy), their focus will be on short-term emotional repair, and they "give in to feel good" by engaging in the alternative task at the expense of their long- term goals. My perspective is that students are not lost in thought over these choices between one task or a competing alternative. They can make the distinction in the "blink of an eye," and this is based on an emotional response to the tasks. I argue that many thoughts follow this, some of which have been measured in this study such as the measure of self-efficacy (I think that the measure of importance may simply reflect part of a rationalization process related to cognitive dissonance, but this speculation awaits future research). In the end, Dr. Bembenutty and I agree on the fundamental importance of academic delay of gratification in terms of the long-term success of students' learning and performance. Certainly, delay of gratification is an important aspect of self- regulated learning, and this can be fostered by helping students develop and perceive their competence to complete tasks that are valuable to them. ReferenceBembenutty, H. (2009). Academic delay of gratification, self-regulation of learning, gender differences, and expectancy-value. Personality and Individual Differences, 46, 347-352. PSY 250 Psychology of Personality
  • 5. University of Phoenix Material Personality Reflection Using the textbook, the University Library, the Internet, and/or other resources, answer the following questions. Your responses to each question will vary but overall should be 700- to 1,050- words in length. 1. How would you define personality? 2. What are some key personality features that define you? 3. What key concepts or “constructs” are used to explain your personality? 4. Are your personality features consistent or do they change according to the situation? 5. Have you ever taken a personality test before? If so, what was your reaction to the analysis? If not, what would you expect a proper test to measure? 6. What would make a personality test reliable and valid? PSY250r8 Working with Willpower: An Interview with Kelly McGonigal How do you define willpower? Well, I define willpower as the ability to make choices that are consistent with your biggest goals and your highest values, even when some part of you doesn’t want to. The things that really challenge our willpower are the things where part of us gets distracted by
  • 6. immediate gratification or maybe gets overwhelmed by anxiety or stress and we find it difficult to remember in those moments what matters most to us. And so willpower is the ability both to remember what matters most and the willingness to do things that support those goals even when self-doubt is present or even when cravings or physical pain or anxiety are present, um, to be able to hold those difficult inner experiences or other impulses and still direct your energy and attention to things that matter the most. How does willpower work? I like to think of willpower as having three powers. I will, I won’t, and I want. Um, and we tend to think, you know, we think about willpower, we think of this classic example of resisting a temptation, you know, I won’t eat that chocolate, or I won’t buy that thing that’s out of my budget, I won’t smoke that cigarette, or I won’t say that thing that will get me into trouble. And that’s just one aspect of willpower, it really is the ability to recognize when you are about to do something that is inconsistent with your goals or values and literally putting on the brakes. So that’s I won’t power. But we also need the ability to take action in the direction of our goals and values; the ability to say yes to things that maybe are boring or uncomfortable. You know, an example of that, which I call, I will power, would be something like being willing
  • 7. to stay on the treadmill for another five minutes, even though your legs are saying they’re tired, or your brain is telling you, “this is boring and I’d rather to do something else.” Do you have the motivation and the energy to keep going even in the face of fatigue or boredom? And the thing that supports both of those strengths is this last power that I call I want power. And that is the ability to actually walk around in the world with a sense of what your core goals and values are, um, rather than allowing, sort of, the universe to impose on you its own agenda. You know, so much about daily life is, we get interrupted on our devices, somebody wants this and it’s an emergency to go do that, and so our, our schedule and agenda can get hijacked in that way. We go into a store, we go into a restaurant and people want to sell us things that are not healthy for us or go beyond our budget, and we have to really be able to interact with the world; uh, with a key sense of what is it we care about and what matters most to us. And that is a skill that can be strengthened as much as the I won’t power of resisting impulses and the I will power of taking positive action. Is it true that I can run out of willpower? There’s this really interesting area of willpower science that talks about willpower’s unlimited
  • 8. resource and there’s a whole bunch of research behind this, and the basic take home point is that - we have a limited amount of willpower strength and when we use it we run out of it. And so, you know, if we’re spending all our willpower on doing one thing like counting calories we may not have any willpower leftover for paying full attention to our kids when we get home from work. But I have to say, so, I’m a little skeptical of this research. Um, and I will say that when you take a really close look at the data behind it, what seems to be limited is our ability to force ourselves to do things that we don’t really want to do. And that does seem to be a limited resource. You know, most of the research that is looking at this question has asked people to do things that are difficult and boring and not important, and not connected to any actual, personal goal. You know, things like keeping your arm in a bucket of ice water, or doing really challenging but boring computer tasks that require heightened attention and focus. And in those laboratory experiments this is what you see, that people basically run out of willpower. Uh, in the real world, it seems like if you can define the things that take willpower as being what you truly want, that willpower is a much less limited resource, and it’s one of the reasons why I talk about want power, as being such a key foundation for willpower. Because when you view, say, making the healthy choice, as something that is consistent with what you
  • 9. care about, then it’s exciting when you see something healthy on the menu, like, “Oh there’s something I can order that supports this goal I have of creating health.” And it doesn’t feel like, “Oh I have to force myself to eat a vegetable” and all that depravation mentality. I think too often we believe that who we really are is the one who wants indulgence. The one, you know, who we really are is the one who will only be satisfied with immediate gratification. And if you are totally identified with that small part of you, then yeah, your willpower will is going run out, because every choice you make that is for your long-term good is going to feel like depravation or feel like you’re forcing yourself to. How can I use willpower now to create a happier and healthier future for myself? So, one of the findings from willpower research that I found most fascinating is the fact that most people view their future self as a stranger. That when they think about themselves 10 years or 20 years in the future, it feels like somehow it’s not really them. And so when you ask people to think about, say, saving money for retirement or quitting smoking now to benefit the future self, people will say things like, “well it seems like a waste”; like, “like I’m giving my money to a stranger instead of being able to actually have my money that I earned”
  • 10. And one of the ways that I found working with people that really helps people connect to their future self is to try to find what researchers call a “self-defining future memory.” If you look back over the course of your life, there may have been moments that are really meaningful to you, the birth of a child or maybe getting your college diploma, a graduation ceremony. Research has shown that people have a much easier time looking backward than looking forward for their self-defining moments. And to the degree that you can look into your future and imagine a real, vivid, future memory, of something that’s going to feel important that’s going to reflect an enduring theme and value during your life and you can imagine it like a memory that has already happened - that greatly increases motivation and willpower and really support people in making important changes. So I think that, you know, when we’re thinking for ourselves about how to change our behavior, there are all different exercises you can do to, to take this more hopeful and optimistic sense of imagining the life that you would like to have and who you would like to be in the future and the future memory is one of them. I often had people in my classes write letters from their future self, expressing gratitude to their present self for the courage or the willingness to do the really difficult things now, whether it’s quitting smoking or beginning an exercise program, or beginning to save money, and really imagine yourself as that future self, looking backward with this
  • 11. great gratitude and compassion to the person who was willing to make that change when it was difficult. It gives you the sense of both connection to that future self and the sense that it’s possible. And, you know, believing that change is possible is, um, is part of what actually drives our willingness to do things when it’s still quite difficult. What is the role of self-compassion in willpower? Self-compassion is a hugely important part for any sort of difficult behavior change or health change. Um, and it’s funny, when I first started teaching the science of willpower, was the thing I got the most push back on - I would say, “Research shows, that it’s really important to forgive your mistake or your setbacks.” That, you know, “You need to be less self-critical, and less hard on yourselves,” and I would have, you know, people in my class would raise their hands, and these are, you know, grown adults, uh, and they’d say, “No you don’t understand - I need to be more hard on myself, right, I’m so screwed up, you know, I have so many bad habits, I know I should change, and I haven’t, you got, you got it completely wrong.” When in actually the reality is when you forgive yourself for a setback, it actually allows you to connect to the part of you who wants to make the change. And when you heap on the self-
  • 12. criticism, the guilt, and the shame, it actually primarily motivates people to try to escape the feeling of shame or guilt, uh, often by going back to the very thing that they would use to numb negative feelings in the first place, like getting drunk, or buying something, or comfort food. Part of self-compassion is, is making the time to actually allow yourself to feel the desire to change, even though, right now, the gap feels large. And it’s a very sort of tender and vulnerable place to be in, that’s important to, to be willing to go into, to actually feel with your heart and your mind, that you want this change for yourself, even as you maybe are unsure of how that change is going to unfold, even if there is self-doubt about your ability to do it. And that’s one of the ways that self-compassion can really support us. It’s in those moments of setbacks or self- doubt, and you make contact with your goal and you think about how not alone you are, you know, that every person struggles with some sort of willpower challenge, that, you know, everyone knows what it feels like to feel stuck and wonder if it’s possible to change, and to recognize that this process doesn’t say anything about how uniquely screwed up you are; uh, it says that you’re human and you’re just in the middle of it right now. And, your future self at some point will be able to look back with gratitude, from the other end of the experience. How can mindfulness improve my willpower? So, I define mindfulness as a, sort of a three-step process. Often it gets reduced, sort of, in, in
  • 13. Western psychology to just paying attention in the present moment. But if you really think about mindfulness as a process and the rich tradition it comes from, it starts with intention, right, that you have to have a connection to something you care about. There is a commitment to some intention. And so part of mindfulness is, really, what we talked about, is this kind of want power. Do you know what you want to orient toward in life, do you know what matters most to you, or how it is you want to show up in the world? What is your core intention? And then, mindfulness includes attention, really paying attention in an open and curious way, in a self-compassionate way, to how your own thoughts, and words and actions are either in line with that intention or not. Are there things in your environment that support that intention or not? Are there relationships that support that intention or not? Being really curious about the process, of how you either choose your intention or move away from your intention. And then the third part of mindfulness is action. The willingness to take action based on what you observed; sometimes referred to as skillful action. And so when you train that process, getting very clear of what your intention is; willingness to pay attention to how you, yourself move towards it or away from it, the things in your environment that can support you or sabotage
  • 14. you. And then you take committed action, small steps every day. “Well, I don’t know how I’m going to make this change completely, but I’m going to wait five minutes, when I wake up in the morning, I’m going to wait five minutes before I check my email,” for example. You know, “and then I’m going to be making a small action of choice that is consistent with my intention” and trust that that process eventually supports a much bigger change. Do you have any tips for using willpower to overcome an addiction to technology? So when it comes to technology there’s sort of a three-step guide how I think about breaking addiction to it. One is to recognize that there is nourishing ways of relating to technology and destructive ways. And there are actually things you can do online and with phones that will make you happier, that will make you more connected to other people, and that aren’t inherently addicting. You know, things like, uh, targeted response to other people on Facebook, has been shown to make other people like you more and care about your more. When you go online and you respond to a friend’s photo and it strengthens the relationship and it also tends not to be as addictive when you’re not just scrolling through, but you’re actually using it to strengthen real world connections. That sort of thing, you should make time in your life to do it. I mean, forget about trying to control it, uh, in the same way you would look for nourishing foods, things that would actually sustain you. And, the same time to recognize that there are all these destructive
  • 15. ways to getting lost online, and to really begin to recognize the cost that it takes on your life, to really ask yourself, “what is this getting in the way of?” And then to start experimenting with small changes that are consistent with your intention to change. Like, I was saying, you know, it’s a big thing for a lot people to get out of bed in the morning before they check their phone. And if you’re sleeping with your phone and you’re used to getting up in the morning by scrolling and checking email, then yeah, that’s going to be a really good first starting point. Or maybe you set a rule for yourself that, you know, the first hour that you’re at home, the cell phone goes in a drawer. So you get at least 60 minutes of whoever is in the house with you, you know, kids, spouse, they get your undistracted attention. And then after that hour you can pull your phone back out and do whatever you want. Many people, you know, they’re spending an hour or two hours a night before they go to sleep on their phones or on their computers and they’re not going to sleep on time and then they’re also having difficulty falling asleep, because of the way that technology and blue screens interfere with sleep biology. So for another person it might be, forget what you’re doing during the day that’s fine, but the phone, you have to hide it, for at least an hour before you think you want to go to sleep. Again it’s all about paying attention to what it is that matters for you.
  • 16. Working with Willpower: An Interview with Kelly McGonigalHow do you define willpower?