Audience feedback I got on my script

1. 1 INT. OFFICE HALL - DAY
A BRIGHT YELLOW STICKY NOTEPAD is walked through a series of
doorways and turns without pause. The person carrying the
note writes as they walk and tears off the top note.
2 INT. TOMS CUBICLE - DAY
Tom, a bored, tightly kept office worker in his late 20’s
types at his computer and without looking away or breaking
typing stride he reaches for a small cup to take a swig.
Tom’s perpetual typing is interrupted as he realizes the cup
is empty.
He looks at the cup.
3 INT. BREAK ROOM - DAY
The small cup is being filled with water, but stops after
only filling a quarter of the way.
TOM lets out a sigh as he stands holding a barely filled cup
in front of a very empty water cooler.
After a brief moment of pause he sets the cup on the counter
and replaces the water jug on top of the cooler. Tom is
fluent in each step of the process. This is not his first
time.
Mark walks in and sees Tom replacing the water jug.
MARK
Can you believe whats been
happening?
Tom turns to see mark who begins pouring a cup of coffee.
TOM
What do you mean?
MARK
Rumor is they’re making cuts! I
think they’ve already fired 4
people just today!
TOM
Oh wow...
MARK
Yeah. Crazy. You know Hugo, the
head of accounting? He got canned
this morning.
(CONTINUED)
I think this would be interesting if the writing is done at a desk
over an over with spacing timed out. So close up on yellow
sticky and a black permanent marker writing out see boss 2,
at 3, at 4, etc
As he walks his phone is beeping to alert him of texts multiple times.
He can't answer because fo the heavy jug.
Man, I've been looking everywhere for you.
What?
aggressively
this morning.
No way. Who?

2. CONTINUED: 2.
Mark finishes prepping his coffee tosses the sweet n low
packet in the trash as he walks out.
MARK CONT’D
Well, anyway have a good weekend!
Tom pauses and thinks over what Mark just said before
securing the jug onto the water cooler and as he fills his
cup He hears a muffled noise that catches his attention.
a COWORKER passes by carrying a bankers box full of his
things while sobbing uncontrollably. Tom steps out in the
hall to see something fall to the ground from the bankers
box, a BRIGHT YELLOW STICKY NOTE.
Tom picks up the note to see that on it is written: "BOSS
WANTS TO SEE YOU IN HIS OFFICE"
Tom looks up from the note to see his former coworker
carrying his things through the office to the exit as people
stare.
He gives the note one more look.
4 INT. MAIN OFFICE ROOM - DAY
TOM, turns the corner and enters a room lines with cubicles.
Each one separately encompassing the epitome of boredom and
misery in the work-place.
Tom scans the room, expressionless, and takes noisy sip of
his water.
5 INT. TOMS CUBICLE - DAY
Without looking up, Tom sinks into his seat while
simultaneously reading an email on his phone. He slowly
turns his chair to face his computer as he finishes and sets
his phone aside. Then he sees it.
There on his computer screen is a BRIGHT YELLOW STICKY NOTE
that reads: "BOSS WANTS TO SEE YOU IN HIS OFFICE AT 5"
Tom pops his head up over his cubicle walls to see if anyone
has given notice to whats happened. No one has.
He slowly peels the notes off of the middle of his screen to
examine. He then sticks it right back where it was and sinks
into his chair in confusion and looks at his watch: 4:38.
After a few moments of contemplation he quickly snatches the
note off of the screen again to examine it before sticking
it to the base of his monitor.
(CONTINUED)
and leaves his sugar packet, lots of creamer spill, and stir stick on the counter.
Well, glad its not us. Anyway, have a good weekend.
walking over to the coffee area and using a napkin to clean up Mark's mess.
He throws everything in the trash and stops suddenly when he hears...
Insert an earlier time on the sticky
and puts in his pocket.

3. CONTINUED: 3.
Immediately Tom begins typing on his computer in nervous
curiosity. A web browser is pulled up and typed in the
search engine is:
"BOSS WANTS TO SEE YOU IN HIS OFFICE ON A FRIDAY?"
Tom scrolls through the results:
"WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU THINK YOU’RE GETTING FIRED."
"24 WAYS YOU CAN BE SURE TODAY IS YOUR LAST DAY"
"WHY PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS FIRED ON FRIDAYS."
"HOW TO KNOW YOU’VE LOST YOUR JOB BEFORE YOU’VE LOST YOUR
JOB."
"YOU’RE FIRED! DONALD TRUMP’S FIFTEEN SIGNS THAT YOU’RE
GETTING THE PINK SLIP"
Tom closes the browser in frustration and takes a deep
breath to process the situation as he sinks back into his
chair
He reaches for his cup of water to take a swig. Empty again.
6 INT. BREAK ROOM - DAY
Tom stands holding his small cup while waiting behind a man
at the water cooler. He looks at the clock which reads 4:43.
The man finishes at the cooler and turns to reveal he was
filling a gallon jug. He politely nods at Tom as he leaves.
Tom returns the gesture and leans in to begin filling his
cup.
Nothing.
Tom pushes the button down again. nothing. and again.
Nothing.
He rattles the jug to ensure its on tight, pushes the button
just a little bit harder this time. Nothing. Again and again
and again. Tom begins vigorously pushing the button to no
avail as he begins losing his composure and with one quick
motion he rips the jug off of the cooler and throws is
across the room with a grunt.
He immediately turns to clear the entire counter with one
sweep of his arms before opening each cabinet and pulling
out everything inside.
Tom stands in the middle of the room catching his breath.
(CONTINUED)
Insert scene: a fast walk to the supply closet. Tom grabs 2 bankers boxes but
pauses as he glances at the supplies and
an idea crosses his mind. He manically unfolds one box and begins dumping
pens, stickies, notepads until the box overflows. He slams a top on and opens another
and begins piling in coffee mugs, tshirts, everything.
Cut to: him closing his car door full of boxes. he looks sweaty and overcome with craziness. He looks around
to be sure he hasn't been seen and walks quickly to the building door.

4. CONTINUED: 4.
CUT TO:
7 INT. TOMS CUBICLE - DAY
Tom sits at his desk with wide eyes and pronounced
breathing.
CUT TO:
8 INT. OFFICE FILING ROOM - DAY
Tom maniacally flings files and papers from the cabinets
without a care in the world.
CUT TO:
9 INT. TOMS CUBICLE - DAY
Tom sits at his desk with eyes slightly wider and breathing
slightly heavier.
CUT TO:
10 INT. SERVER ROOM - DAY
Tom deliberately removes cables from their slots and holds
them up next to a full cup of water and begins dropping the
cables into the cup.
CUT TO:
11 EXT. SERVER ROOM - DAY
A bright electrical flash emerges through the server glass
door
12 INT. TOMS CUBICLE - DAY
Tom vigorously types at his keyboard with craziness in his
eyes. Each punch of the key is deliberate and fueled with
anger. The twitch in his eye worsens as each moment passes.
13 INT. BREAK ROOM - DAY
Tom opens a bag of popcorn, throws it into the microwave and
slams the door.
He smashes buttons on the console and it begins counting
down from 1 hour.
He throws stacks into the shredder bucket.
or for ease- lights flicker.
He deletes document after document and throws everything away.
He steps into the garbage can to stomp down the pile to open up more space.
He momentarily gets stuck and almost falls which fuels his anger even more.
A shot to the clock reveals it is now 4:55. He strides quickly toward the breakroom.

5. 5.
14 INT. TOMS CUBICLE - DAY
Tom sits at his desk, nostrils flaring, eyes twitching,
breathing heavier than ever with a slight smirk as he looks
at his watch to see it turn to five O clock.
He slaps his hands on the table and quickly stands up making
a ruckus turning the attention of the room towards him.
TOM
That’s it. I’ve waited 12 years for
this moment!
Tom begins to walk down the lines of cubicles leading to the
bosses office.
TOM
Each and every day I come in here
and pour my life into this job and
this is what I get in return!
A Woman at one of the closest cubicles stands up
KATHY
Tom, what are you t-
TOM
My oh my! Who would have though YOU
would have been the first to try
and get a word in!? We all know
you’re here Kathy!
JONATHAN
Tom!
Tom whips around to see his next victim.
TOM
Oh I don’t wanna hear it Jonathan!
I hear enough from you EVERY!
SINGLE! DAY!
Tom barges onto Jonathan’s desk obnoxiously typing on his
keyboard.
TOM CONT’D
Look at me everybody I’m Jonathan!
I’ve got fingers of FURY! Well not
any more Jonathan!
He Violently rips the keyboard from the desk and throws it
across the room.
(CONTINUED)
What a surprise!
He picks up the keybord and begins to bang it up and down on the desk like a two year old tantrum.

6. CONTINUED: 6.
A small laugh interrupts Tom and captures his scary
attention from across the aisle.
TOM
What are you laughing at Darren!?
Watching another Fail compilation
on the internet!? OH IT MUST BE SO
FUNNY!
Tom quickly makes his way to Darren’s desk which is covered
in perfect stacks of paper that tom begins violently mixing
up and spilling them onto the floor.
TOM CONT’D
Hows this for a fail, Darren!? You
like that!?
Tom notices the woman in the next cubicle over.
TOM
Are you kidding me Marsha! You’re
eating a HO-HO right now!? Every
day you remind me you’re on a diet
and yet you haven’t missed a HO-HO
break for the last decade!
Tom sees a younger co-worker glued to his phone with
headphones on and clueless to whats going on.
TOM CONT’D
And what is this!? Is he seriously
getting paid for this!?
Tom pulls the headphones away from his ears. No response.
TOM CONT’D
Amazing!
Tom begins working his way down the cubicle aisle pointing
at people with each insult.
TOM
Do you even own another shirt?
I can’t stand you!
And YOU! Well, I don’t know you so
you’re fine.
But You! You should consider
prescriptions strength deodorant!
Tom reaches the end of the aisle and turns back to address
the entire room.
(CONTINUED)
He rapidly approaches Darren to confront him. Darren looks shocked and scared and begins to trot
toward the lobby. Tom considers following but he then notices the woman in the next cubicle over.
Music pours out.

7. CONTINUED: 7.
TOM
You’re all a bunch of NUTCASES!
Tom opens the door and steps into the bosses office closing
the door behind him to leave a room full of jaw-dropped
co-workers.
After a few moments Tom steps back into the room and
awkwardly walks back down the cubicle aisle to his desk
where he pulls our a bankers box and begins packing up his
things.
15 INT. TOMS CUBICLE - DAY
Mark pokes his head into Toms cubicle.
MARK
That was brutal. What’d he say?
Tom continues to pack items into his bankers box when he
grabs the sticky note off of his desk and looks at it again.
TOM
I got promoted.
Mark gives a look of confusion.
CUT TO: BLACK
THE END
You know what? You won't survive a day without me.
picks up his last bankers box and puts on his jacket. he opens and closes an empty drawer.
Geez Tom. That was quite a show.
look in drwaers and the trash for things he might have overlooke