This is a script me made for a BBC drama competition. The premise: Gemma and Daniel Clinch are self-described minor Young British Artists. Their contrived art projects and fantasy lives digress and diverge, until their escapism traps them.

1. Too Minor YBAs
By
Tobias Martin Hughes & Julian Belvedere
Tobias Martin Hughes & Julian
Belvedere
58 Barnwell Road, London UK
SW2 1PW
07411463124
ahmedicinemen@gmail.com

2. FADE IN - INT. DANIEL & GEMMA’S APARTMENT BATHROOM, EVENING
- PRESENT DAY
GEMMA, a woman in her mid-forties, is in the bathtub with an
e-reader. Her husband of the same age, DANIEL, is nearby but
not yet visible.
DANIEL(O.S.)
France is bacon.
GEMMA
I asked you to go with me tonight
specifically so we could network.
It’s Goldsmith’s. Everyone was
there.
DANIEL enters the bathroom and sits on the toilette to use
it. He sets a glass of wine on the sink.
GEMMA (CONT’D)
I need work. Did you think about me
at all?
DANIEL
The physical impossibility of
thinking in the mind of someone
drinking. (Beat) Gemma, no one will
hire an art teacher who asks
everyone why they keep saying that
France is bacon during a discussion
about art.
GEMMA
I have an interview tomorrow
anyway.
GEMMA takes a towel and steps out of the tub.
GEMMA (CONT’D)
Turn the light out if you’re going
to read.
INT. DANIEL & GEMMA’S BEDROOM - SAME - NIGHTTIME
HIGH ANGLE
DANIEL and GEMMA are in bed with the lights off. GEMMA’s
half is dark but DANIEL’s lamp is still on. He turns it off,
then in the dark a tablet screen appears on his side.

3. 2.
INT. APARTMENT - NEXT DAY - MORNING
SERIES OF SHOTS:
A) DANIEL is making a large English breakfast on the hob.
B) DANIEL is eating his breakfast while writing in a
notebook.
C) DANIEL is doing the dishes
D) DANIEL is cleaning the hob
E) DANIEL is cleaning the counters
F) DANIEL is cleaning a spot on the floor.
D) DANIEL is on the floor doing crunches
G) DANIEL is trying unsuccessfully to do push-ups
DANIEL is reclining back on a living room couch, shoes off,
writing in his notebook. Doorbell rings. DANIEL straightens
his appearance and hides the book in a drawer in which we
see other personal items. DANIEL opens the door. Enter a
middle aged couple with Scottish accents, MICK and LIZ.
DANIEL
Welcome home to Pear View. No, I’m
only kidding. Did you find it all
right? Tricky location to get to
really, isn’t it?
HUSBAND and WIFE enter apartment and glance around, then
shake DANIEL’s hand.
MICK
Not too bad, no. Nice to see you,
Mr. Clinch.
LIZ
Look at the ceilings. My days. We
always love a good high ceiling,
don’t we Mick?
MICK
Aye, we do. They’re selling it
fully furnished, eh?
DANIEL
There’s a fee to have the furniture
taken away. Rather expensive.
(CONTINUED)

4. CONTINUED: 3.
LIZ
Oh, we’d keep it. Especially if the
rest of it’s like this.
WIFE touches desk that DANIEL put laptop in.
DANIEL
Bare in mind there’s mold
everywhere in this apartment that
needs removal. It’ll probably be a
bit steep for you, in the end.
MICK
Well you’re getting might comfy.
DANIEL
Oh, no. I’m sorry, Mr. Mason. I
only remember you said...
MICK
(interrupting)
Aye, no I mean you’re in your
socks. Liz, will you look at this,
he’s here with no shoes on.
LIZ
Oh, dear.
DANIEL
Oh, yes, it’s just to keep the
carpet clean. Standard practice as
an agent.
LIZ
No, no. Someone’s left all their
things in these drawers. Are you
sure someone’s not living here
still?
EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING - SAME - LATE AFTERNOON
Apartment building with letting sign in front of it reading
SACCI & SACCI ESTATE AGENTS: WHERE DREAMS COME HOME. DANIEL
exits building, talking on mobile.
DANIEL
(into mobile)
How’d your interview go? Huh. What
do you think that meant? Yeah,
maybe. No, I’m just showing Pear
View again. Don’t think they went
for it. (Beat) Well, Mr. Horton
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

5. CONTINUED: 4.
DANIEL (cont’d)
knows I’m good at my job. Can’t
Clinch ’em all. Anyway. Make sure
you have everything on you when I
get there. We have to be in and
out. And Gemma, remember the damn
masks, please.
EXT. ALLEYWAY - SAME - EARLY EVENING
DANIEL pulls up in his estate agency car. GEMMA appears from
the shadows and gets in clutching a brown bag.
DANIEL
I’m going to circle once before we
go in.
GEMMA
You sure you want to shoot?
DANIEL
We already discussed this.
Car pulls alongside a shopping market. GEMMA pulls
balaclavas out of bag and they pull them over their faces.
GEMMA pulls out black duct tape.
GEMMA
Kiss me.
DANIEL kisses GEMMA. DANIEL and GEMMA jump out of the still
running car and storm into the shopping market. People stand
back in shock as DANIEL and GEMMA run through the store and
then down an aisle. GEMMA holds a piece of tape taught and
DANIEL has his hand in his blazer pocket. They stop. GEMMA
rips a piece of tape and places it over a cereal box. DANIEL
pulls a sheet of round stickers from his pocket and begins
sticking them on canned food labels. They do this many times
over.
GEMMA
Shoot ’em!
DANIEL pulls a camera from his pocket and snaps photos of
the covered food labels.
GEMMA
Go!
DANIEL and GEMMA sprint back through the store. People no
longer notice them. They jump in the car and speed off. The
car stops.
(CONTINUED)

6. CONTINUED: 5.
DANIEL
Damnit!
GEMMA
What?!
DANIEL
I meant to buy wine for Mark’s. We
can’t turn up empty handed again.
I’m going back in.
DANIEL removes blazer and balaclava. Gets out of car and
walks back to the store.
INT. MARK & LOUISE’S HOME - SAME - EVENING
GEMMA and DANIEL are seated in a living room with two other
couples among open wine bottles and glasses. A board game is
on the table. DANIEL is frantically drawing on a piece of
paper while GEMMA stands over him. They’re playing
Pictionary. GEMMA is drunk.
GEMMA
Church! The Pope! Oh, oh...True
love! Gay marriage! Neil Patrick
Harris! Oh, no, what’s that show
again...ah it’s right on the tip of
my tongue, too! How’s that not gay
marriage, Daniel? Louise, look at
this and help me.
MARK
Time’s up.
DANIEL
Wedding Crashers. That’s why there
are two men in front of a church,
Gemma.
MARK
For an artist you’re not much of a
drawer, are you mate?
GEMMA
Told you to let me draw.
DANIEL
(exasperated)
It’s one of your favorite movies!
Next time, I’ll draw in the bottom
of your glass so you pay attention.
(CONTINUED)

7. CONTINUED: 6.
GEMMA
Shut your mouth when you’re talking
to me.
LOUISE
Time out for dessert. Gemma, come
help me with pudding.
GEMMA, LOUISE, and ALANA exit, leaving the three males
behind.
DANIEL
(to MARK)
We’re better at Charades somehow.
MARK
How is the art going?
DANIEL
We did another one earlier tonight.
I actually think they came out
well.
MARK
Will you be ready for the big show
then?
DANIEL
Ugh. Don’t want to think about it.
We have so much left to do. It’s
not even confirmed yet.
INT. KITCHEN OF SAME HOUSE - SAME - CONCURRENT
GEMMA is flushed and sitting crumpled in a kitchen chair,
drunk. LOUISE refills a glass of water and hands it to
GEMMA.
LOUISE
Have another glass of water, babe.
GEMMA
I have another interview tomorrow.
ALANA
You have got to get out of that
other job. You’ll feel better about
yourself.
GEMMA
No. If I get comfortable somewhere
I’ll never leave. I need to get
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

8. CONTINUED: 7.
GEMMA (cont’d)
back into teaching. First we lost
our studio and now we’ve given up
our work space at home. That’s so
important to us.
LOUISE
How are you and Dan doing?
GEMMA
I think I’m in love with Jack.
LOUISE
Oh, Gem. That does’t mean anything.
ALANA
Hey, anything can work on paper. I
have an erotic pen pal.
LOUISE
What?
ALANA
We exchange erotic emails. Very
satisfying. The brain is your
biggest sex organ.
GEMMA
I wish Dan thought I was smarter.
LOUISE
(to ALANA)
Are you serious?
ALANA
Monogamy makes two people as
burdened by each other as they are
dependent on one another. An erotic
pen pal is like men looking at
porn, except instead of getting
turned on by big breasts, I’m
turned on by attention. It’s
cheating without cheating.
MARK (O.S.)
Oh ladies? Wherefore are our just
desserts?
LOUISE
(to GEMMA)
To be continued.

9. 8.
INT. DANIEL’S CAR - SAME - NIGHT
GEMMA is asleep in the passenger’s seat. DANIEL is driving
and he looks tired. DANIEL sees in front of him two
headlights speeding directly at their car. DANIEL keeps
driving without reacting, then...
DANIEL
Gemma...Gemma!
DANIEL slams on the breaks and the car jerks to a halt. The
approaching headlights suddenly diverge and go around the
car. They are two motorcycles. GEMMA is awake.
INT. DANIEL & GEMMA’S FLAT - SAME - LATE AT NIGHT
HIGH ANGLE
DANIEL and GEMMA are in bed with the lights off. On the left
a smartphone screen is lit-up. It goes off. Then on the
right a tablet screen appears.
INT. SCHOOL PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE, MORNING
GEMMA is sitting in a small chair, opposite an older woman
who is the school principal. We can infer there is an
assessment occurring. GEMMA is in a job interview.
GEMMA
It’s kind of like pop art. I really
like Banksy. I don’t know how much
you know about him. But basically,
like, what I work with is the cult
of conspicuous consumption, and I
try to critique that by developing
these anti-consumerist motifs. So,
like, what I do is I go in disguise
to stores and obscure the brand
logos. Then, on social media
websites like Twitter, I tweet a
picture of my work.
PRINCIPAL
And what is the purpose of that?
GEMMA
I feel it’s kind of like a way of
looking at capitalism’s eros and
seeing how far I can take that.
It’s easier to understand if you
know a lot about Banksy or Andy
Warhol.
(CONTINUED)

10. CONTINUED: 9.
PRINCIPAL
Eros?
GEMMA
Eros. Sorry, I mean ethos.
PRINCIPAL
Okay. And what else do you think
qualifies your for interim art
teacher?
GEMMA
Um, well, I’m actually a minor YBA
- Young British Artist. I was the
year below Damien Hirst and Tracey
Emmond at Goldsmith’s. So was my
husband, too. So I’m a senior
stateswoman
PRINCIPAL taps pencil in the ensuing silence.
INT. LIVING ROOM - SAME - EARLY EVENING
Clock is ticking. DANIEL is straightening his clothes in a
mirror. The doorbell sounds. DANIEL quickly steps to the
intercom.
DANIEL
(into intercom)
Bella, is that you? Okay, I’m
buzzing you in now.
DANIEL opens door and greets an attractive woman in her late
twenties who is BELLA.
BELLA
Well hello, Daniel.
DANIEL
Bella! Glad to finally meet you.
Come on in. Did you find it okay?
BELLA
Took a cab. So much easier. Cute
place, by the way.
DANIEL
Oh, well you haven’t seen
everything yet.
(CONTINUED)

11. CONTINUED: 10.
BELLA
(laughs)
Oh, I will. Believe me.
BELLA runs her hand through her hair.
BELLA (CONT’D)
But really, you’ve done such a good
job decorating. I really like this.
BELLA takes her trenchcoat off to reveal dramatic plunging
neckline shirt.
BELLA(cont’d)
Have you done this before?
DANIEL
No, first time, actually.
BELLA
Well, I’m a pro. It’ll be fun, I
promise.
DANIEL
The money’s through, so let’s hope
so for both of us.
(laughs)
DANIEL opens the door to a bedroom that was clearly
reconfigured from some kind of creative workspace.
DANIEL (cont’d)
Anyway, here we are.
BELLA
Oh, wow. Are you artists?
DANIEL
We try. I’m an estate agent. After
my wife was let go, I sort of put
two and two together and decided to
rent our art studio on Air B n’ B.
BELLA
Oh, so is she not here right now?
DANIEL
No, actually. She’s at work. Be
back late. You know, event catering
and all that. Here, let me show you
the rest.

12. 11.
EXT. MOVIE THEATRE - SAME - EVENING
GEMMA walks up to the theatre ticket booth and purchases a
ticket. The marquee reads £2 BLACK & WHITE ROMANCES
INT. MOVIE THEATRE
We see GEMMA seated in the theatre alone, reading from an
e-reader.
FEMALE MOVIE CHARACTER(O.S.)
It was you all along, of course.
How could I have been so blind?
INT. DANIEL & GEMMA’S APT BUILDING OUTSIDE OF THEIR FRONT
DOOR - SAME - ABOUT MIDNIGHT
GEMMA walks cautiously to her flat’s door. It’s dark but she
hears noise behind it. GEMMA slowly opens the door, walks
in, peers down the hallway and sees light in the kitchen and
hears laughter.
DANIEL(O.S.)
She asked so sincerely, too! I just
died!
(BELLA and DANIEL laugh
heartily)
GEMMA walks down the hall and into the kitchen. DANIEL is
seated at the table and GEMMA is standing spreading jam on
toast, wearing a satin kimono. On the table there are two
open wine bottles with glasses. BELLA and DANIEL see GEMMA
and immediately stop laughing.
DANIEL
Oh hello there.
DANIEL stands and kisses GEMMA on the cheek.
DANIEL
How was it? What was it, a wedding
or an engagement party? (to BELLA)
That’s all they ever do.
GEMMA
Company party. (Beat) They hired
Seal to sing.
BELLA
Oh, I was just telling Dan how I
worked one of his shows a few years
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

13. CONTINUED: 12.
BELLA (cont’d)
ago. Heidi Klum was there, too.
She’s so glamorous, I was just in
awe.
GEMMA
Oh, are you in events too then?
BELLA
Kind of. I’m an events model. I get
hired to go to conferences. I’m in
town for a fantasy convention, so
wizards and all that. I’m an elf
princess this time. Green body
paint and sparkles all weekend.
GEMMA
Well, glad to have met you. Please
keep our bathroom clean. I only
just cleaned it. (Beat) Right, I’ve
got an early one tomorrow. Night
everyone.
GEMMA exits. BELLA and DANIEL exchange looks. BELLA licks
jam from her knife.
INT. ESTATE AGENCY OFFICE - NEXT MORNING
DANIEL is standing in a glass exterior office facing a woman
seated at a desk.
REMY
Agents can’t have repeat traffic
violations. The insurance is a
nightmare. Daniel, if you weren’t
number one by such a large margin,
I couldn’t keep you. Please tell me
you have another car to use?
DANIEL stares at REMY.
REMY
Jesus. How are you going to work
without a car?
DANIEL
Because I’m Daniel Clinch. I clinch
’em all.
REMY
I cannot protect you from Mr.
Horton if he finds out about this.

14. 13.
INT. OF CROWDED TUBE CARE - SHORTLY AFTER
DANIEL is seated with a notebook and pen, writing.
MAN STANDING ABOVE DANIEL
...Dear Diary.
DANIEL looks up at the man. They hold each other’s stare,
then DANIEL looks down and closes his notebook.
INT. DANIEL & GEMMA’S FLAT - MORNING
GEMMA enters the living room in her nightclothes. She’s
carrying a bundle of DANIEL’s laundry. BELLA is on a yoga
mat doing stretches in spandex workout attire.
BELLA
Oops, you caught me.
GEMMA
No I didn’t.
BELLA
What?
GEMMA
I’m just doing some laundry. Did
you sleep okay?
BELLA
I always sleep better in a big
city. (Beat) Yeah, sorry, I
wouldn’t normally do this in the
living room, it’s just that mine is
a little tight for space. There’s a
lot of art stuff in there.
GEMMA
It was our studio before you came.
BELLA
Yeah, Daniel was telling me all
about that. (Beat) So, what artists
do you like?
GEMMA
Well, that’s a big question. There
are a lot of artists. I don’t know
if any artist can really answer
that. Warhol, Banksy, Hirst.
(CONTINUED)

15. CONTINUED: 14.
BELLA
Who?
GEMMA
Hirst. Damien Hirst. He’s a
integral conceptual artist.
BELLA
Oh, yeah, he did the skull thing,
right?
GEMMA is putting DANIEL’s clothes in the washing machine.
She stops, examines his shirt and then trousers.
GEMMA
For The Love of God, yes.
BELLA
Oh, wow. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean
to irritate you.
GEMMA
What? No. That’s the name.
GEMMA picks at a spot on DANIEL’s clothes.
BELLA
(laughs)
Oh, of course. Hey, you know who I
really like? Francis Bacon.
GEMMA looks up at BELLA, then back down at DANIEL’s clothes,
on which are two separate green paint stains.
SERIES OF SHOTS:
A)DANIEL is running through a tube station.
B)DANIEL is sprinting up escalator stairs, going around
people.
EXT. SIDEWALK IN A NICE NEIGHBORHOOD - SAME - MIDDAY
DANIEL is hurrying with his phone to his ear.
DANIEL
(into phone)
Yes, definitely turn around. You
must have left just before I
arrived. I’ve been here for ten
minutes myself. I thought you were
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

16. CONTINUED: 15.
DANIEL (cont’d)
running late. (laughs) All a big
misunderstanding.
INT. OF EMPTY FLAT DANIEL WAS JUST OUTSIDE - SAME - MIDDAY
DANIEL is rinsing his face off in the sink. His coller is
undone and he is sweating. The doorbell rings. DANIEL
answers it. Enter HUGHBY and EMMA, an affluent and
attractive couple in their late twenties. HUGHBY is the son
of DANIEL’s boss.
EMMA
Hi, Dan. Good to see you.
HUGHBY
Dan, always a pleasure.
DANIEL
Again, let me apologize for
earlier.
HUGHBY
You’ve already explained. Anyway,
before we look around here, what’s
the chat with Pear View? Can’t
believe it’s not sold yet.
DANIEL
I actually did a showing earlier
this week. Older couple. Bit fussy.
Weren’t too keen on it in the end.
Frustrating, of course.
EMMA
(to Hughby)
We can’t buy until it’s sold, and
we need a home to come back to
after our honeymoon. Does he not
understand?
DANIEL
Actually, that reminds me: are you
still living in the shadow of
Horton towers? (laughs)
HUGHBY
No mobile signal and my mother
still comes by more regularly than
the post, but we’re fine. What’s it
going to take, Daniel? My father
says you could sell a bag of bad
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

17. CONTINUED: 16.
HUGHBY (cont’d)
dreams. How come you can’t move a
fully furinshed flat?
DANIEL stares at HUGHBY.
EXT. RESTAURANT PATIO - SAME - LATER IN THE AFTERNOON
GEMMA sits with a glass of wine opposite LOUISE. LOUISE is
dressed professionally. GEMMA is wearing black and white in
a way that suggests a catering dresscode.
LOUISE
You’re the one into fantasy, not
him. She’s leaving Sunday morning.
By the way, how’s Jack?
GEMMA
Ugh, had another movie date. That’s
what I was doing before I caught
them.
LOUISE
Hey, you didn’t catch anyone doing
anything. Remember that. (Beat)
Daniel’s not going to get jealous
of you reading some author who
writes trashy pulp fantasy and
self-publishes on the internet. Who
reads at the movies?
GEMMA
For two quid I can be alone and
just escape into the palm of my
hand for a couple of hours. It’s
just pure fantasy staring back, and
I’m hidden in the dark between two
silver screens.
LOUISE
Well, the other day, I read some of
Jack Dean’s stuff. It’s sexy. Mark
got laid that night. He didn’t even
know the reason. Men never know the
reason.
GEMMA sticks her arm out as a server walks by.
GEMMA
(to server)
Hey, these plates have been on our
table way too long. You need to
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

18. CONTINUED: 17.
GEMMA (cont’d)
send someone over here to clean
this off. (to LOUISE) Sorry.
LOUISE
Does that ever work for you and
Daniel?
GEMMA
I don’t feel sexy to begin with.
There are some things you can’t
feel towards someone when you don’t
feel that way about yourself.
LOUISE
Well, maybe your next guest will be
a real life Jack Dean.
GEMMA
We’ll find out Wednesday who Daniel
booked. I’ve got to leave for work
in a second.
INT. ART GALLERY - NEXT DAY, AFTERNOON
GEMMA and DANIEL are in a hybrid coffee shop/art gallery
named CLEVER FREE ZONE. They are talking with NICOLA, an
intense, arty middle aged woman who oversees the art
gallery.
NICOLA
So why do you think your art fits
at Clever Free Zone?
DANIEL
So many reasons, really. I think
our legacy as minor YBAs, like
we’ve said, is significant. We’re
also anti-consumer artists.
NICOLA
If you’re going to be in our spring
exhibition, I need to know what
happened with Suspended Balls.
GEMMA
Oh.
DANIEL
That project was about applying
reclaimant leit motifs to
antiquity.
(CONTINUED)

19. CONTINUED: 18.
GEMMA
One would have to know a lot about
Giacometti. Very seminal sculptor.
NICOLA
I remember there was a lot of
chatter at the time. What were you
actually doing?
DANIEL
Okay. Well, so a lot of ancient
sculptures had their genitalia
knocked off during the Middle Ages.
We wanted to create a dialogue
between antiquity, paganism,
hermeneutics, and porn.
NICOLA
How did that lead to the British
Museum’s involvement?
DANIEL
I mean, do we really need to go
back over this?
NICOLA
If I’m meant to display your work,
yes.
GEMMA
We did a series called Penis de
Resistance that involved affixing
dildos...
DANIEL
(interrupting)
...prosthetic phalli...
GEMMA
...to very old statues, and one of
the museums claimed there were some
damages. But a lot of it was built
up by the news coverage.
NICOLA
You’re full time artists?
GEMMA
Yes.
DANIEL
No.
(CONTINUED)

20. CONTINUED: 19.
GEMMA
I’m a teacher.
NICOLA
Teacher?
GEMMA
Art teacher. Looking for a new
opportunity.
NICOLA
Well I’m glad Stefan introduced us.
He’s a dear friend and he speaks
highly of you two, that’s for sure.
EXT. CLEVER FREE ZONE ART GALLERY - IMMEDIATELY AFTER
DANIEL and GEMMA exit the gallery.
GEMMA
I kinda can’t wait for her to call
us. Celebratory drink?
DANIEL
Don’t you think it might be a tad
premature? Anyway, I gotta go.
EXT. SIDEWALK OF DAN & GEMMA’S NEIGHBORHOOD - NEXT DAY,
AFTERNOON
GEMMA is jogging in an ungracious manner, suggesting she is
unused to it.
INT. DANIEL & GEMMA’S FLAT - SAME DAY
GEMMA enters the flat sweating and breathing hard. She’s in
workout clothes and evidently out of shape. OLIVE, a woman
in her sixties, is doing stretches in the middle of the
living room.
OLIVE
Oh Gem, you don’t smoke, do you?
GEMMA
I don’t exercise.
OLIVE
Don’t let anyone tell you it’s
never too late to start. Dan waited
to start and never got the chance.
(CONTINUED)

21. CONTINUED: 20.
GEMMA
Who?
OLIVE
My late husband.
GEMMA
Oh.
GEMMA walks over to her laptop and opens it up.
GEMMA (CONT’D)
Sorry. I just remembered I need to
check something.
OLIVE
Oh I have been meaning to ask you,
can I check my email?
GEMMA
What? (Beat) Oh, yeah, sure. Here,
you can use Dan’s.
GEMMA finds DANIEL’s laptop. She opens it and enters the
password. On the screen appears a white document and all we
can see is the line BELLA,YOU ARE MY SILVER SCREEN GODDESS
ENTER OLIVE.
OLIVE
Whenever you say Dan, I think of
mine. Love never fades, you know.
INT. PEAR VIEW - SAME
DANIEL is sitting on the couch. The television is playing
adult content. He is writing in his notebook. There is a
beer on the coffee table. Suddenly, the doorbell rings.
DANIEL is startled. He turns the TV off and listens. It
doesn’t ring again.
EXT. LARGE HOUSE - SAME - EVENING
GEMMA, dressed in her catering uniform, walks up to an
affluent home in London. A banner outside reads BUCOLIC
FROLIC and excited voices can be heard. She goes to the
backyard where smartly dressed people are reveling. HUGHBY
and EMMA are guests. GEMMA does not know them. GEMMA goes to
the area for the caterers and ties her apron on.
(CONTINUED)

22. CONTINUED: 21.
CATERER #1
The bosses are looking for you. Get
out there before they see you.
CATERER #1 hands GEMMA a tray of drinks.
CATERER #1
I hope I’m smelling the tray and
not your breath.
GEMMA
Car trouble.
CATERER #1
What?
GEMMA
You asked why I’m late.
GEMMA wanders drunkenly out towards the partiers carrying
her drink tray. She walks between the guests. She is glazed
and unaware of her surroundings. Someone’s elbow knocks her
tray and it flips. GEMMA is stunned. Everyone stares.
CATERER #1 comes over and begins cleaning it up.
CATERER #1
Go stand by the bar and look busy.
GEMMA goes inside the house, where the bar is located. She
notices HUGHBY talking to a group of people. GEMMA walks
behind the bar and continues observing him. HUGHBY is making
people laugh. He is charismatic. GEMMA removes her apron and
walks towards him. She interrupts the group...
GEMMA
Hello, sir. And how can I serve you
this evening?
HUGHBY
(caught off guard)
Oh, hello there. Are you a caterer?
GEMMA
Depends. What’s your tipple? Let me
make you something. Anything.
HUGHBY
I’m fine right now, thank you.
EMMA
I’ll have a gin martini.
(CONTINUED)

23. CONTINUED: 22.
GEMMA
Please.
EMMA
Pardon?
GEMMA
No, please. You forgot to say
please.
The guests exchange questioning glances with each other.
CATERING MANAGER enters.
CATERING MANAGER
Gemma! Let’s have a word. Come with
me.
GEMMA
(to HUGHBY)
See you later, sailor.
GEMMA disappears with CATERING MANAGER.
EXT. SAME LARGE HOUSE - SAME - NIGHTTIME
GEMMA is walking away from the house while the party is
still going on. She’s holding her apron, suggesting she was
not fired, just sent home.
EXT. MOVIE THEATRE - SAME - NIGHTTIME
GEMMA walks up to the theatre. The marquee reads CLASSIC
MUSICALS SING ALONG.
INT. MOVIE THEATRE - SAME - SHORTLY AFTER
GEMMA is the only person in the theatre. We hear distant
music. We see that GEMMA is using her tablet. The screen
reads JACK DEAN: AN OLD SCHOOL ROMANTIC IN NEED OF
MODERNIZATION. GEMMA pulls up another window with an email
typed out. She is writing to Jack Dean. She signs her name
Zelda Monroe. She hesitates before pressing SEND.
INT. DANIEL & GEMMA’S BEDROOM - SAME - ABOUT MIDNIGHT
HIGH ANGLE

24. 23.
DANIEL and GEMMA are in the dark with their tablet screens
on. DANIEL’s tablet switches off. We hear sheets moving and
see him move towards GEMMA in the dark. We hear murmured
language. DANIEL rolls back over to his side of the bed. His
tablet light goes back on.
INT. POSH DEPARTMENT STORE - NEXT DAY - MID AFTERNOON
GEMMA enters the main floor of a posh department store
wearing an orange construction vest and carrying a bag. She
walks around the floor once and then climbs behind the
window displays. She begins pulling black bin bags over each
mannequin in the window. Two security guards enter.
SECURITY GUARD #1
Madam, can we have a word with you?
GEMMA
I’m working. Can I help you?
SECURITY GUARD #1
Okay. May I ask who you’re working
for?
GEMMA
I’m a window designer. This is my
job.
SECURITY GUARD #1
We don’t have a window dresser
today.
GEMMA
What do you know about my job?
SECURITY GUARD #2
I know that window dressers come at
night, and you’re not one. Now
madam, don’t embarrass yourself.
INT. ESTATE AGENCY OFFICE - SAME - LATE AFTERNOON
DANIEL is standing in a glass conference room. He is
presenting to a group of people, including REMY and MR
HORTON. His mobile rings. DANIEL turns it off. It rings
again. DANIEL looks at it this time.
MR. HORTON
Who is it, Clinch?
(CONTINUED)

25. CONTINUED: 24.
DANIEL
It’s coming up as Unknown.
MR. HORTON
Could be a sale.
DANIEL silences his mobile.
DANIEL
Anyway, nearly home free. As I was
saying...
DANIEL’s mobile rings again. This time he answers it and
steps out of the room. DANIEL’s reaction is seen through the
glass wall of the conference room. He is distressed but
trying to remain composed. He re-enters the conference room.
DANIEL
I have to go. Mr. Horton, I’m sorry
about this.
EXT. POLICE STATION - SAME - EARLY EVENING
DANIEL steps off a bus and walks towards the police station.
INT. POLICE STATION - SHORTLY AFTER
A large metal door is unbolted and from behind it steps
GEMMA. She is barefoot and carries a plastic bag with her
possessions in it, including her shoes. Her makeup has run
down her face.
EXT. POLICE STATION - SAME - EVENING
DANIEL and GEMMA are standing about ten feet away from each
other. DANIEL repeatedly tries to a hail a cab without
success. GEMMA is still barefoot. A bus finally pulls up
across the road. DANIEL and GEMMA run to it.
INT. PUBLIC BUS, TOP DECK - SAME - NIGHTTIME
DANIEL and GEMMA are seated in parallel rows across from
each other. They both have a person in the seat beside them.
The bus stops and the people beside GEMMA and DANIEL
disembark. The bus lurches forward.
DANIEL
We always do it together. Why did
you go alone?
(CONTINUED)

26. CONTINUED: 25.
GEMMA
I don’t need you.
DANIEL
What?
GEMMA stares silently ahead.
DANIEL (CONT’D)
Were you drinking? (Beat) Gemma.
(Beat) Why were you drunk?
GEMMA
I’m fine on my own, Daniel. I don’t
need you.
DANIEL
We do this together. This is our
thing, and I’m part of it.
GEMMA
No, you did this.
DANIEL
Gemma, you’re talking nonsense.
GEMMA
(shouting)
There is nothing nonsensical about
me acting alone! You don’t know
jack about me!
DANIEL
No, you don’t know jack about me,
Gemma.
DANIEL sits still, staring straight ahead for a moment. Then
he stands up and walks downstairs to the bus’ first level.
GEMMA remains behind.
EXT. BUS STOP - SAME - NIGHTTIME
The bus pulls away, revealing DANIEL and GEMMA. DANIEL and
GEMMA begin walking. A blind woman with a white cane is
coming towards them. She is carrying chips wrapped in
newspaper.
BLIND WOMAN
Bus stop. Is the bus stop nearby?
(Beat) Bus stop.
GEMMA and DANIEL stop walking. GEMMA takes the blind woman’s
arm.
(CONTINUED)

27. CONTINUED: 26.
GEMMA
Hey. It’s over here.
BLIND WOMAN
Thank you. You don’t need to hold
my arm though.
They arrive at the bus stop.
GEMMA
Here we are.
BLIND WOMAN
Thanks for the help. Have a good
night you two.
DANIEL
We’ll wait with you for the bus to
come. It’s a dark night.
BLIND WOMAN
That’s no matter to me.
DANIEL looks at the BLIND WOMAN and then shuts his eyes and
keeps them closed. GEMMA looks at DANIEL and notices his
eyes are closed. She closes hers. DANIEL and GEMMA stand
with their eyes shut for a moment. GEMMA suddenly opens hers
and digs through the jail issued plastic bag. She pulls out
her mobile and begins attentively using it.
BLIND WOMAN
What are you doing?
GEMMA
Just checking my email quickly.
BLIND WOMAN
Smart phones and the internet.
Can’t see any good in them.
INT. DANIEL & GEMMA’S APARTMENT- SAME - NIGHTTIME
DANIEL and GEMMA enter their flat. GEMMA walks straight to
their room and slams the door shut. DANIEL is left outside.
He walks to the guest room, opens it a crack and sees OLIVE
asleep.

28. 27.
EXT. PEAR VIEW - SAME - LATE AT NIGHT
The lights inside Pear View suddenly come on.
INT. PEAR VIEW - SAME - LATE AT NIGHT
DANIEL is watching the adult film channel with his laptop
out, writing.
INT. DANIEL & GEMMA’S BEDROOM - SAME - CONCURRENT
HIGH ANGLE & SCREEN SPLITS
On the left, GEMMA is in their bedroom with the lights out.
Her tablet screen is on.
On the right, DANIEL is on his side of the bed but at Pear
view, lights out, his laptop on.
FADE TO
SERIES OF SHOTS:
A) DANIEL’s hands typing on his laptop
B) An open suitcase in DANIEL & GEMMA’s spare Air B n’ B
room
C) GEMMA’s hand typing on her tablet
D) DANIEL is in Pear View taking a bath
E) A tray of filled champagne flutes are lifted by GEMMA
F) CLOSE UP of a smile forming on someone’s mouth
G) A new open suitcase in DANIEL & GEMMA’s spare Air B n’ B
room
H) GEMMA is in the movie theatre with her tablet, sound of
someone laughing
I) A tray of empty champagne flutes are set down by GEMMA
I) DANIEL’s hands typing on his laptop
FADE TO

29. 28.
EXT. PARK - DAYTIME - A FEW WEEKS LATER
GEMMA and ALANA are jogging.
ALANA
You don’t care that he’s seeing
someone else? How are you going to
do an art show together?
GEMMA
Back when Dan and I did Suspended
Balls, I thought we were going to
get a divorce.
ALANA
Wait, you mean the dildo project?
GEMMA
No. It wasn’t a "dildo project." We
were reclaiming gender neutrality
for the history of art’s sake. And
no, I’m definitely bothered by the
fact he’s seeing her.
ALANA
But only because you haven’t met
Jack yet.
GEMMA and ALANA reach a bench and stop. They begin
stretching.
GEMMA
I’m not sure I want to though. I
mean, I definitely do, but you
can’t be disappointed by an
unsolved mystery, you know?
INT. DANIEL & GEMMA’S FLAT - SAME - DAYTIME
GEMMA enters the flat in her jogging attire. She walks
towards the bathroom. The door is shut. On the other side of
the door, a phone camera snapping sound is heard.
DANIEL
(through door)
Hello?
GEMMA
It’s me. I need to shower.
(CONTINUED)

30. CONTINUED: 29.
DANIEL
Yeah, hold on.
DANIEL opens the door. He and Gemma exchange glances.
INT. DANIEL & GEMMA’S BEDROOM - SAME - SHORTLY LATER
DANIEL is reclined on the bed with his laptop on his chest.
He’s wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. GEMMA opens the
bathroom door wearing a t-shirt and underwear. She walks
towards DANIEL. GEMMA reaches up to his waistband and slides
his sweatpants down, pulling them off. She stares at him.
DANIEL puts his laptop to the side. GEMMA pulls his
sweatpants on her legs and walks out of their room. DANIEL
lays still for a moment, clearly incredulous. Then he gets
up and begins dressing.
EXT. PEAR VIEW - SAME - LATER AFTERNOON
Pear View becomes illuminated.
INT. PEAR VIEW - SAME - NIGHTTIME
DANIEL is seated before his laptop, holding his smartphone
in his hand. He is trying to coordinate something between
them. We see an image appear on his laptop that we realize
is part of a penis - it is DANIEL’s. We see him attach it in
an email, which he signs LOVE, JACK DEAN - IN NEED OF
MODERNISATION
INT. DANIEL & GEMMA’S APARTMENT- SAME - NIGHTTIME
GEMMA is sitting in the living room in DAN’s sweatpants. She
has her tablet on her lap. We see she is applying for jobs.
A sound notification indicates she’s received an email.
GEMMA opens it and it is DANIEL’s email, written as JACK
DEAN, and including the photo. She doesn’t recognize that it
is DANIEL’s. GEMMA smiles and is pleased by this development
from JACK DEAN. Suddenly, she hears a knock on the door.
GEMMA sets the tablet down and goes to the door. She opens
it to reveal two policemen.
POLICEMAN #1
Madam, are you Mrs. Gemima Clinch?
GEMMA
Yes?
(CONTINUED)

31. CONTINUED: 30.
POLICEMAN #1
We have a warrant to search your
flat. We also need to ask you some
questions.
GEMMA
What? No, I’ve already dealt with
the department store. They’re not
pressing charges.
The POLICE enter GEMMA’s flat.
POLICEMAN #2
(to POLICEMAN #1)
Hey, Andy, this could be relevant.
POLICEMAN #2 holds up GEMMA’s tablet, with DANIEL’s penis
shot.
GEMMA
Excuse me. I’m sorry, what is this
to do with?
POLICEMAN #1
Your recently aquired fingerprints
were matched with a dildo from a
crime scene a while back.