This document discusses divorce and the need for divorce reform legislation. It provides background on divorce rates in the US being the highest in the world despite high levels of religious affiliation. It notes several negative impacts of divorce on children including higher rates of emotional, behavioral and physical abuse problems. The document also discusses the taxpayer costs of divorce being at least $112 billion annually when factoring programs like welfare, Medicaid and more. Overall it argues divorce reform is needed to help reduce the harms and costs of divorce to families and society.
1. Definition of Divorce
Divorce
1. A legal dissolution of the marriage contract by a court or other body having competent authority. This is properly a divorce, and
called, technically, divorce a vinculum matrimonies.
2. The separation of a married woman from the bed and board of her husband -- divorce a mensa et toro (/ thoro), "from bed
board."
3. The decree or writing by which marriage is dissolved.
4. Separation; disunion of things closely united.
5. That which separates.
6. To dissolve the marriage contract of, either wholly or partially; to separate by divorce.
7. To separate or disunite; to sunder.
To make away; to put away. The cost of divorce or separation
The legal process of formally ending a marriage or civil partnership is overseen by a court and will cost several hundred pounds.
But the process of untangling your finances may cost considerably more in legal fees. You will save money if you reach an amicable
financial arrangement without involving solicitors and the courts. If you do reach an agreement, make sure you write down all the
terms, both sign and date it and both keep a copy. But this agreement does not stop you or your partner later going to court to
change your agreement.
Otherwise, there are three main options:
A mediator
Mediators are impartial professionals who can help you and your partner reach agreement about dividing property and finances and
making arrangements for children. Mediation is likely to be quicker than the courts, and allows you to make personal solutions,
rather than live with one imposed by the court. Mediation is likely to cost between £1000 and £2000, depending on how many
sessions you need.
A collaborative family lawyer
Under a relatively new process called collaborative law, each of you has your own specially trained family lawyer and you negotiate
a financial agreement in a series of four-way meetings. If you can still be civil with your partner, especially for the sake of the
children, then this would suit you.
A solicitor
This may seem the best option if your affairs are complex - for example, your financial arrangements include the right to receive
pensions now or in the future. Typically for a straightforward divorce a solicitor might charge around £3,000. But prices may soar to
tens of thousands, particularly if you and your partner argue through solicitors, and negotiations can stretch into months and even
years.
Further recommended reading
How to Have a Healthy Divorce written by Relate counsellor and psychotherapist Paula Hall (Vermilion, £9.99)
Why is Divorce Reform Legislation Needed?
2. Why is Divorce Reform Legislation Needed?
Marriage and Divorce in America
America, the most religious modern nation, has the highest divorce rate in the world.[1]Gallup Polls estimate that two-thirds of
Americans are members of a church or synagogue and two-fifths attend services in any given week.[2] Yet U.S. divorce rates are
double that of Canada, France or Germany where church attendance figures are less than a quarter that of the United States.[3]
Secret of No Fault: Adultery & Abuse Aren’t Grounds for Divorce
To the ten Secrets of No Fault, I would add an 11th. In 22 states as Florida, Wisconsin and Michigan, one can no longer sue on
grounds of fault – that your spouse committed adultery, was physically abusive, was sent to prison on conviction of a felony, etc.
The only grounds on which a divorce can be granted is the “irretrievable breakdown of the marriage. This was another
recommendation of the Uniform Divorce proposal, accepted by 22 states. In such states, it will not be enough to reform No Fault
Divorce, but it will be necessary to re-establish traditional fault grounds. Those 22 state without traditional grounds for divorce are
AZ, CA, CO, DE, DC, FL, HI, IA, KS, KY, MI, MN, MO, MT, NE, NV, NC, OH, OR, WA, WI ,WY.
Impact on Children:
Those who suffer the most from divorce are the innocent – the children. “Children without fathers, or whose parents float in and out
of their lives after divorce, are the most precarious little boats in the most turbulent seas,” wrote then First Lady Hillary Rodham
Clinton in her book, It Takes A Village (p. 40). “Recent studies demonstrate convincingly that while many adults claim to have
benefited from divorce and single parenthood, most children have not. Children living with one parent or in stepfamilies are two to
three times more likely to have emotional and behavioral problems as children living in two-parent families…A parent’s remarriage
often does not seem to better the odds.”[16]
For example, children of divorce are three times as likely to be expelled from school or to get pregnant as an unwed teenager as a
child from an intact home, are five times more likely to live in poverty, are 14 times more likely to by physically abused, and are two
to 12 times as apt to be incarcerated, according to the report of the Heritage Foundation, “The Effects of Divorce on America” by Pat
Fagan and Robert Rector. [17]
One man told Mike McManus of Marriage Savers: “Divorce has been a train wreck in my life. My parents divorced, and my father
disappeared afterwards. I did not know what a father or a husband looked like. When I married, we had three children. I admit I had
a drinking problem. My wife forced a divorce against my will, and I lost everything – my business, a million dollars in costs to fight for
custody of my kids, and she sent me to jail.. This so destroyed our kids that my son became an armed robber and ultimately burned
down a house killing two people. My daughter ran off with a boyfriend who flips hamburgers, and is only living with him and my other
daughter is now institutionalized.”
Cost of Divorce
A new study, “The Taxpayer Costs of Divorce and Unwed Childbearing,” provided the first rigorous estimates of the cost to
taxpayers which it set at least $112 billion a year[18]. The rigorous study was developed by the Institute for American Values, and
the Institute for Marriage and Public Policy and the Georgia Family Council and Families Northwest. It includes the public cost of
welfare (Temporary Assistance to Needy Families or TANF, Food Stamps, Housing Assistance, Medicaid, State Children’s Health
Insurance Program (SCHIP), Child Welfare programs, Women, Infants and Children assistance (WIC), Low Income home energy
Assistance, Head Start, School Lunch and Breakfast programs and part of the Justice system costs. It does include federal, state
and local costs of these programs, and provides the first assessment of these costs at both national levels and for each state. The
study does provide detailed data for all states. It provides evidence based on many studies that “Marriage Reduces Poverty.” This
Taxpayer Costs of Divorce study thus provides evidence that could be persuasive with state legislators of the need to reform No
Fault Divorce laws which are needlessly destroying many marriages where there is no abuse, adultery or other major faults.