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SELF BULLYING(TM)
IS BEING MEAN TO YOURSELF
WE CALL IT
DO YOU NEGATIVELY JUDGE
YOURSELF?
2. YOUR THOUGHTS ARE
POWERFUL
Ever stand in front of a mirror and call yourself
stupid or ugly?
Ever compare yourself to others?
This is Self Bullying.
YOU KNOW HOW BAD IT FEELS WHEN
ANOTHER PERSON NEGATIVELY JUDGES
YOU. It's awful. Right?
How does your negative self-judgment make you
feel? Each time you call yourself stupid, ugly, not
good enough, etc., you are taking positive energy
away from yourself.
Check out this video clip from the movie, WHAT THE
BLEEP. It shows how powerful our thoughts are.
They taped words to bottled water then froze the
water and looked at the crystals. The crystals that
came from bottles with positive words were beautiful.
The crystals from bottles with mean words were
awful looking. (see picture to the right) After you view
the video, send an email
to PreventBullyingNow@heyugly.org telling us why
you think it's important that teens around the world
see this video clip.
3. OBSERVE YOUR
FEELINGS
Make a list of all the people who have negatively judged you.
What negative thing did they call you? Quite often the negative
messages we give ourselves are not our own. Most of the
negative judgments we have about ourselves come from
somebody else ... a friend, family member, etc. It is human
nature to actually believe the judgments of others and take
them on as our own. It is YOUR JOB TO RECOGNIZE that
someone else's negative judgment of you is NOT WHO YOU
ARE. Has anyone ever called you a name and then you start
calling yourself that name over and over and over in your
head?
YOUR BODY HAS
FEELINGS TOO
Lots of time we treat our friends better than we treat
ourselves. THAT'S SO WRONG! Our bodies help us all of the
time. It is constantly there for us and we sometimes treat it
worse than we would treat a stranger on the street. How many
times have you told your body that you hated it?
I HATE MY HAIR!
I HATE MY NOSE!
I HATE MY BUTT!
I HATE MY THIGHS
Award winning recording
artist, PINK, was obsessing about her
thighs until the day she visited children in
a hospital and saw kids with no legs.
4. DEFEND YOURSELF!!!
If a person called one of your friends "ugly" or "stupid" you
would defend them, right? That's what you should do for
yourself whenever you have a negative self-judgment.
TWO ASSIGNMENTS FOR YOU:
1. Make a list of 10 things people say against their bodies.
2. Make a list of 20 wonderful things your body does for you.
Email your lists to: PreventBullyingNow@heyugly.org with "Self
Bullying" in the subject line. We'll post the most representative
lists on our I AM ENOUGH web page.
HOW TO CANCEL OUT
THE VOICE
THAT SAYS YOU ARE
NOT ENOUGH
According to Hey U.G.L.Y.'s Assembly Presenter,
American Idol Contestant and
singer/songwriter Devyn Rush, "After all, no one is a
perfect person, and no one really has a perfect life. It
is important that we not compare ourselves with
others because there will always be someone we'll
consider more attractive, smarter, more talented, or
who has a cuter boyfriend/girlfriend, or more money,
etc. The next time that voice in your head tells you
that you are not good enough, just picture a face
with that voice. Picture a scared child. Now imagine
that scared child is you when you were young. Hold
that child and tell him/her that he/she IS ENOUGH.
Think about all of the things that you do well and
compliment that little child on each one. Maybe
you're good at singing, dancing, biking, running,
drawing, etc. Maybe you are a great friend, good at
math, writing, etc. When we take good care of
ourselves, and surround ourselves with friends and
family who love us that just has to be good enough!
5. If we focus our energies on what we do have, and
make the most of it--instead of obsessing about what
we don't have--it can help us feel like we really ARE
enough."
HOW TO CANCEL OUT
ALL THE NEGATIVE JUDGMENTS
Take your index finger and press it to your thumb like you were squishing a piece of dirt between those
fingers. Now, each time you make a negative judgment about others or yourself, press those fingers
together and squish out that negativity. Immediately replace the negative judgment with a positive
statement. The more you do this the easier it will be to not make negative judgments at all. It's kinda like
exercising or learning a musical instrument. The more your practice the easier it gets. So practice,
practice, practice.
RECALL A NEGATIVE JUDGMENT YOU HAD ABOUT YOURSELF and squish
that negative thought between your fingers. Close your eyes and picture your inner-self. Make a sincere
apology to yourself then give your inner-self a compliment. How did you feel giving yourself a
compliment? On a piece of paper make a list of the things you like about yourself and read it every night
before you go to bed.
GRATITUDE - Make a list of five things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. It can be
as simple as having fingers that allow you to use a spoon to help you eat your cereal to has major as
having legs that help you walk. Just make sure you list at least five things.
The next time you have a negative judgment about
yourself or someone else just STOP. Don t negatively
judge yourself for having a negative judgment, just
recognize it, squish it out and replace it with something
positive.
To help keep other peoples' negative judgments and
thoughts from affecting you, pretend you have a zipper on
your body (like a zipper on a Hoodie). Now ZIP
YOURSELF UP all the way to your mouth. Imagine you
6. now have a protective shield around you that will not allow anyone's negative thoughts and judgments to
penetrate. Pretend there is a lock at the top of the zipper. Give it a quick turn to lock in your protection.
You may want to do this before you go into the mall.
QUESTION: Where are some other places where zipping up your shield would be a good idea? Email
your answers to us with "Zip it up" in the subject line.
OUR
BIGGEST FEAR!
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are
powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We
ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually,
who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the
world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel
insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's
not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we
unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from
our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." Nelson Mandella
"My recent photo project is
emphasizing how words hurt people!
So much bullying and harrassing
going on not just our school but
nationwide.
Your negative words turn into how
people describe themselves.
Look in the mirror, nobody is perfect!
Life is so damn beautiful and we
should all be buidling each other up
rather than tearing each other down!
7. Be the one who creates a new era of
happiness.
Be the one who changes a negative
thought
someone thinks about themselves."
Photo and Quote by Marcelleloveeee
Hey U.G.L.Y. wants to know if it
could be that you think people are
negatively judging you because YOU
are negatively judging others. Ever
look at somebody's hair or body and
make a negative judgement about it?
Could it be that you are negatively
judging them hair because you are
always negative judging your hair or
body and thinking it's not good
enough? So ... if we start changing the
way we look at ourselves, if we start
liking and loving ourselves, maybe we
will start drawing to us people who
also like themselves instead of
drawing people who negatively judge
us and find fault with us because they
find fault with themselves. What do
you think? We love to know. Send us
an email or text on our facebook page
-
8. https://www.facebook.com/HeyUGL
YINC
https://www.facebook.com/HeyUGLY
INC.
YOU CAN NOT GIVE
WHAT YOU DON'T
HAVE
How can you trust others if you can't trust
yourself? How can you love somebody if you
have not learned to love yourself? How can
you forgive someone you love if you have not
yet forgiven yourself? The reason it's
challenging to give those things to others is
because YOU CAN NOT GIVE WHAT YOU
DON'T HAVE. How can you respond with
compassion if you are not compassionate to
yourself? How can you give someone five
dollars if you don't already have five dollars?
You can't.
Best selling author, Dr. Wayne Dyer, uses the
orange as a metaphor. He says: "When you
squeeze an orange juice comes out - because
that's what's inside. When you are squeezed,
what comes out is what is inside." So, if
someone says or does something you don't
like or behaves towards you in a way you find
offensive, or does something you feel hurt by
does hurt, shame, anger, anxiety or stress
come out? Do you say 'the reason that comes
9. out of me is because how he/she said it or the
way he/she did that? The truth is what comes
out is what's inside. So, if you don't like what's
inside of you ask yourself what caused the
anger, shame, etc. Was it something that
happened to you when you were young that
you are carrying around with you? If so, then
feel it. Go back to the first time you felt that
way, feel it then let it go. Picture it leaving your
body and flying far away. Then heal yourself.
Repeat over and over that you no longer need
to be angry, bitter, or whatever it is that is
coming up. The more your remind yourself of
this the easier it will get. Just like exercising
gets easier on your body the more you do it,
being mindful of your the emotions you want to
release and then letting them go helps you to
change. The next time something negative
comes out of you do what one of our great
teachers and best-selling authors, Gary Zukav,
said to do on an Oprah Show.
"First: Stop. Second:recognize that you are in
fear. Third: Ask yourself if you want to react in
fear. Fourth:Ask yourself how a kind and
loving person would react. Fifth: Proceed in a
kind and loving way." If you practice this five
step process it will get easier and easier to
So, is the reason we react angrily to others
because we react angrily toward ourselves?
Think about that and email your suggestions
on how we can change that
toPreventBullyingNow@heyugly.org
10. ACCEPTING
YOURSELF by Madisyn Taylor
To label yourself good or bad is to think too small.
There is no such thing as a good person or a bad person. There are choices
and actions that lead us in different directions, and it is through those choices
and actions that we create our realities. Sometimes we choose or do
something that takes us in the opposite direction of the reality we want to
create for ourselves. When we do this, we feel baduneasy, unhappy, unsure.
We might go so far as to label ourselves bad when a situation like this arises.
Instead of labeling ourselves, though, we could simply acknowledge that we
made a choice that lead us down a particular path, and then let it go, forgiving
ourselves and preparing for our next opportunity to choose, and act, in ways
that support our best intentions.
Many of us experienced childhoods in which the words good and bad were
used as weapons to control usyou were good if you did what you were told
and bad if you didnt. This kind of discipline undermines a persons ability to
find their own moral center and to trust and be guided by their own inner self.
If you were raised this way, you may find yourself feeling shockwaves of
badness when you do something you were taught was wrong, even if now you
dont agree that its bad. Conversely, you may feel good when you do what you
learned was right. Notice how this puts you in something of a straitjacket. An
important part of our spiritual unfolding requires that we grow beyond what we
learned and take responsibility for our own liberation in our own terms.
You are a human being with every right to be here, learning and exploring. To
label yourself good or bad is to think too small. What you are is a decision-
maker and every moment provides you the opportunity to move in the
direction of your higher self or in the direction of stagnation or degradation. In
the end, only you know the difference. If you find yourself going into self-
judgment, try to stop yourself as soon as you can and come back to center.
Know that you are not good or bad, you are simply you.
11. Become a part of Hey U G L Y's Stop Bullying
Task Force by completing our Stop Bullying
Handbook. Click on the book to go to our products
page. This book is designed just for you and your
friends.
Read all about how we took on bullying in
this
front page story in NWI Catholic
Newspaper.