Emperors new clothes_jab


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Emperors new clothes_jab

  1. 1. The Vocal Minority
  2. 2. The Emperor’s New Clothes @ J and Beyond May 2012
  3. 3. The Tonight Show: Top 10• Responsive Design is Irresponsible• Why Free is too Expensive• Browse Crappy• Why you have to be High to use HTML5?• Justified: Why you’re the client from Hell• Basic != Standard• Good developers don’t make good Jedi Knights• Upgrades of Mass Destruction• Lies, damned lies, and Open Source Statistics• The Kobiyashi Maru
  4. 4. Lets get ready to Rumble…Which depending on your age means…
  5. 5. (if you’re over 30)
  6. 6. (If you’re under 30)
  7. 7. Ch… Ch… Ch… Changes• Humans hate change• In order for any change to take place, there needs to a Return on Investment.• This only occurs when the cost to change is less than the cost of not changing.• Lack of change is not Laziness or Fear• Change decisions are all about Context
  8. 8. HTML5 for XP .com• Rounded corners, gradients and drop shadows without graphics• Rich graphs and visualisations using Canvas and SVG.• Games that dont ask you to install plugins.• 3D graphics and support for any font• Drag and drop and touch support for tablets.
  9. 9. Group Exercise !• What POSITIVE reasons can you give your GRAN to convince her to upgrade her browser?
  10. 10. Group Exercise !• What NEGATIVE reasons can you give your GRAN to convince her to upgrade her browser?
  11. 11. Premise• Responsive Design is the ability to apply different CSS styles based on media queries• e.g.
  12. 12. Why this appears awesome:• Mobiles – Responsive Design allows designers and front-end developers to react to mobile devices.
  13. 13. Call a spade, a spade• When we say “responsive”, what we are really talking about is, “Mobile”.• Or specifically, “same content, different design”.• It works on the premise that the ONLY difference between a desktop and a mobile browser is screen size.• Non-Desktop users: – rarely use a Human-Computer-Interaction device – are almost always looking for different information – are rarely on broadband
  14. 14. Proof of Paradox• It’s not about Screen Size, it’s about Context.• We had Screen Size specific 10 years ago, so it’s definitely about Context and not Screen Size.• Except, the only way to test for Context is to test for Screen Size.• So in order for it to not be about screen size, it needs to be measures and identified by screen size.
  15. 15. Who you gonna call?• These companies, say that their users don’t like to be treated differently unless it’s in their best interests.• Not with a visual, but a data & architectural change.
  16. 16. So…• in order to change the visual elements under the premise of it being about Context and not Screen Sizes, we have to map Screen Sizes to our predefined Context, and then use Screen Sizes to decide what to display – which was exactly what we said it wasn’t doing.• It’s also exactly what our users don’t want.
  17. 17. Irony in Images• Responsive Design was invented for designers/front- end coders to not be reliant on developers for multiple versions of websites.• One of the major downfalls of RWD is Images.• Inline images work best for responsive design, using the code: – img.className { max-width: 100%; }
  18. 18. • By this method, the same image is on all site versions.• Do you load an image that’s high quality, and destroys your bandwidth on a mobile?• Or do you load a low quality one that looks poor on a desktop?• Or do you attempt to load multiple images and display/hide the correct one as needed?• None of these work well. So you have to use a technical solution to request the right type of image.
  19. 19. Conclusion• Responsive Design = “same data, different display”.• But it can’t take into consideration: – Bandwidth – Platform – Device – Purpose – Context• It wants to, but all it knows is Screen Size.• Those require decision making processes, something that CSS simply isn’t built for.
  20. 20. • It has to be about Information Architecture.• It can’t be done by CSS alone.• CSS wasn’t intended nor built for that purpose• We need to stop shoe-horning shit into the CSS specs• We’ll end up at a place where each browser supports only the code they want to and in the way they want to
  21. 21. Agile? More like Fragile• Work started in earnest in 2004• First Draft published in 2008• 4 years later, still no definitive spec
  22. 22. HTML5, it’s not ready.
  23. 23. Justified• CLIENT: “I don’t like the type.”• ME: “What don’t you like.”• CLIENT: “I don’t like how it goes all to one side.”• ME: “You mean ranged left.”• CLIENT: “Yes, yes, arranged left.”• ME: “How do you want it?”• CLIENT: “To be the same on both sides.”• ME: “Justified?”• CLIENT: “I don’t have to justify anything! I own the fucking company.”
  24. 24. • Jargon free isn’t enough• We still treat people as if they have what WE consider to be a base level of knowledge.
  25. 25. Premise• What makes a good developer?• What makes a good Jedi Knight?
  26. 26. In the real world…• What makes a good Project Manager?• What makes a good Tester?
  27. 27. Premise• I can’t see the word “free” in “Open Source”• There’s a growing sense of entitlement that software should have no cost.• Worse, we now expect people to give support and updates for free… forever!• We’ve stopped looking at the business cases around the software we’re hoping to use.
  28. 28. • We favour the cheap option over expensive software that aligns better with our needs.• “premium” and “freemium” plug-ins are decried unless their cost is so small and their features so great that the Return on Investment is insanely large.• That’s not a business model that can continue to perpetuate itself in the long run.
  29. 29. How often have you thought this? • I can’t believe that plug-in costs money!! • I could do that myself 2-3 hours! • I mean, look at the other free versions, they haven’t been kept up to date, but appear to do the same thing. It’s a rip-off !
  30. 30. Listen to Bowie• How much do you charge an hour?• How long do you think it would take you to plan, code, test and deploy your version?• Divide the cost of your purchase by how long you think it would take you to develop. Which is more?
  31. 31. • Open Source is not yet taken seriously as a viable business model, and we need to make a mental shift.• We need to accept that “Open Source Software” does not contain the word “free”, and that my time, your time, and other people’s time is worth more than “nothing”.• Don’t value free over not free: it’s an oxymoron!
  32. 32. • A change that results in no net increase is not an upgrade• A change that is neither forward nor backward compatible is not an upgrade• A change that alienates a percentage of users is not an upgrade
  33. 33. Every week on Star Trek• Kirk: Mr. Scott, How long until X?• Scotty: 3 weeks captain.• Kirk: I need it in 4 minutes• Scotty: I just cannae do it captain• Kirk: I need it Mr.Scott• Scott: Oh you need it? let me just flick this switch
  34. 34. Star Trek management perspective We have generations of managers who have been brought up to believe: • Management is always right • Authority trumps Expertise • Delivery is always the most important KPI • Any issues can be overcome in Any time period
  35. 35. Every week on Star Trek• Kirk: Mr. Scott, How long until X?• Scotty: 3 weeks captain.• Kirk: Why so Long Mr. Scott• Scotty: Well I want to code this right by using OOP, and it’s a good chance to try out Ruby on Rails and if we upgrade to Apache…• Kirk: Can’t we just use our existing Framework?
  36. 36. Star Trek engineering perspective We have generations of engineers who have been brought up to believe: • Management are idiots • Expertise trumps Authority • Quality is always the most important KPI • It’s more important to do it right than do it fast
  37. 37. • Ensure your team has the right balance• Listen to different people at different stages of projects• Remember why Spock is second in command• Remember why Bones can take control at any time &• ONE WOMAN ON YOUR TEAM IS NOT ENOUGH !
  38. 38. Hicks 3:16• Some people believe they are Napoleon• That’s fine.• Beliefs are neat.• Cherish them• But don’t share them like they’re the truth !