We all use various means of communication, whether they be verbal or non-verbal. For the most part, I think that we as individuals apply certain filters when speaking to certain people. For example, when I’m interviewing for a new job, I may not speak the same way I would with my best friend of many years. I’d like to think I’m the same person in every aspect of my life, with everyone in my life, but the truth is, while my beliefs and values don’t change according to who I’m with, perhaps my way of expressing them, does. Growing up and finding myself has been an on-going process, and the way I want to be perceived seems to be more aligned with who I truly am as the years go by. I realized after some time, that the way these two align has less to do with how I communicate with others, but more to do with how I communicate with myself. Intrapersonal communication is the process of using messages to create meaning within the self. It is the communication that occurs within your own mind (Pearson, Nelson, Titsworth, & Hosek, 2017). I have deemed this communication the most important for me because of the immense effect it has had on my communication with others. The instances that stand out to me the most, are of course, the deeply personal ones. The way I communicate with myself has always strongly affected my communication skills with family members, close friends, and lovers. There was a time when I would create an entire scenario in my head and let that scenario dictate an entire exchange of words. I would assume what the other person was thinking, doing, and feeling. By doing this, I realized I communicated in a way that was very defensive and insecure. I projected my own fears and notions onto other people. This way of communicating left no room for listening, and even less room for understanding. Most importantly, the way I was communicating with myself was having a negative effect on my self-esteem, and the dialogue I shared with myself while looking into the mirror was never a pretty one. The truth is, I only realized there was another way of doing things when I changed the way I spoke to myself. I started to nurture the relationship with myself, the dialogue between my own two ears. I had no idea that I had to take this step before I would begin to improve the way I communicated with the people closest to me. I began giving myself positive affirmations. I steered clear from assumptions about what other people were thinking and feeling. I began to focus on what I was thinking and feeling. As a result of careful communication with myself, of kind and loving dialogue in my head, my relationships began to flourish. Because I was no longer coming from a place of defensiveness, I was more open to what others had to say. I was more familiar with my own truth, and it left plenty of room to openly listen to the truth of others. There is proof in my life that intrapersonal communication has become a powerful resource for me, but o ...

1. We all use various means of communication, whether they
be verbal or non-verbal. For the most part, I think that we as
individuals apply certain filters when speaking to certain
people. For example, when I’m interviewing for a new job, I
may not speak the same way I would with my best friend of
many years. I’d like to think I’m the same person in every
aspect of my life, with everyone in my life, but the truth is,
while my beliefs and values don’t change according to who I’m
with, perhaps my way of expressing them, does. Growing up
and finding myself has been an on-going process, and the way I
want to be perceived seems to be more aligned with who I truly
am as the years go by. I realized after some time, that the way
these two align has less to do with how I communicate with
others, but more to do with how I communicate with myself.
Intrapersonal communication is the process of using
messages to create meaning within the self. It is the
communication that occurs within your own mind (Pearson,
Nelson, Titsworth, & Hosek, 2017). I have deemed this
communication the most important for me because of the
immense effect it has had on my communication with others.
The instances that stand out to me the most, are of course, the
deeply personal ones. The way I communicate with myself has
always strongly affected my communication skills with family
members, close friends, and lovers. There was a time when I
would create an entire scenario in my head and let that scenario
dictate an entire exchange of words. I would assume what the
other person was thinking, doing, and feeling. By doing this, I
realized I communicated in a way that was very defensive and
insecure. I projected my own fears and notions onto other
people.
This way of communicating left no room for listening, and
even less room for understanding. Most importantly, the way I
was communicating with myself was having a negative effect on
my self-esteem, and the dialogue I shared with myself while

2. looking into the mirror was never a pretty one. The truth is, I
only realized there was another way of doing things when I
changed the way I spoke to myself. I started to nurture the
relationship with myself, the dialogue between my own two
ears. I had no idea that I had to take this step before I would
begin to improve the way I communicated with the people
closest to me. I began giving myself positive affirmations. I
steered clear from assumptions about what other people were
thinking and feeling. I began to focus on what I was thinking
and feeling.
As a result of careful communication with myself, of kind
and loving dialogue in my head, my relationships began to
flourish. Because I was no longer coming from a place of
defensiveness, I was more open to what others had to say. I was
more familiar with my own truth, and it left plenty of room to
openly listen to the truth of others. There is proof in my life
that intrapersonal communication has become a powerful
resource for me, but only after having been a powerful
inhibitor. I am grateful for both forms of evidence. Today I
stick with positive intrapersonal communication, and no matter
how I express myself, or to whom, I know that I am always
expressing my truth.