"What is helpful is putting others first and helping set them up for success in whatever meaningful way I can. Guilt is no longer an option for me".

1. Volksrust Recorder - Column/Rubrieke10 Recorder 15 July 2016
Change
Your
Story
With Jacques de Villiers
Volksrust Seme
Business Chamber
Guilty no more
I don’t know about you but sometimes I feel
guilty about stuff. Ok, a lot of times I feel
guilty about the unbelievable mischief I’ve
got up to. And, sometimes I even feel guilty
for mischief I had, and have no control over
- like being on the privileged side of
Apartheid, when I see a beggar on the street
corner or that I shop at Woolworths and not
at some rat-infested spaza shop in a
township.
Of course, when it comes to my own situation
I do have some guilt demons to slay. The
day I lit a fire and blamed my younger brother
... who got the hiding of his life. The years I
couldn’t protect my mother from the endless
beatings she received at the hands of my
stepfather. That I didn’t blow my sister’s ex-
boyfriend away after he smashed her skull
in and left her for dead. Leaving the mother
of my child. Getting irritated with my mother
because I had to take off work to buy her
pills. The next day she went in for a gall
bladder operation, ended up in a coma and
left this world a week later. When a beggar
comes to my car window and I shrug my
shoulders and point to the ashtray and say,
“I don’t have any money” Knowing full well
that there are at least three R2 coins rattling
about in the ashtray.
I have a tongue sharper than a Samurai
sword, words more bitter than a shrew and a
brain that doesn’t fully engage before I
speak. The pain I’ve caused with my words
alone makes me cringe with the shame of it.
So, is there any point in feeling guilty about
the pails of milk I’ve spilled over the years?
Should I go to those I’ve wronged and beg
them for forgiveness so that I can atone for
my sins? Would it help?
I suppose on the one hand it may help me
get a load off my chest, but not enough for
me to stop getting up to mischief. On the
other hand, I’m not so sure it helps the victim.
something that they’ve probably long
forgotten at best or put deep into the hurt
locker at worst. Why dredge those feelings
up?
Former Apartheid police minister, Adriaan
Vlok bent his knee and bowed his head as
he washed the reverend Frank Chikane’s feet
whilst he asked for forgiveness for his role
in his crimes against humanity. Did this
gesture help heal this fractured country? I
don’t think it made an iota of difference.
Maybe it did to Vlok who as a born again
Christian may think he will manage to sneak
into heaven on the strength of this act.
Do convicted murderers like Oscar Pistorius
and countless others who show remorse and
ask for forgiveness for their crimes make a
dent in the pain of those who have been left
behind? I don’t think so. Clearly, in Pistorius’
case he won the judge over and got an
unbelievably light sentence. So, maybe he
got to feel better about himself and emerged
with a pyrrhic victory. Does the guilt and
remorse of an Apartheid Askari at the Truth
and Reconciliation Commission bring back
the loved one he tortured and killed? Does
it lessen the pain of those left behind? I don’t
think so.
In so many instances guilt, remorse and
apologies will never be enough.
So, what’s the trick? I’m not sure I’m
qualified to answer this question. But for
me the trick is to reflect on my sins and see
how they make me feel and how they
impacted on others. If I feel bad and they
impacted negatively on others, then it is clear
that my actions are hurtful. I then make a
decision not to act in a way that would cause
pain and make me feel guilty or remorseful.
And, hopefully as I mature, I cause less and
less damage on my journey to the final exam.
As for beggars, I don’t think my R2 will make
a fundamental difference to their journey.
So, I refuse to feel guilty. As for being
indifferent when it came to the plight of my
brothers and sisters in the Apartheid era,
there’s actually nothing I can do about it
now and feeling guilty and remorseful (for
something very much out of my control) is
not helpful. What is helpful is putting others
first and helping set them up for success in
whatever meaningful way I can. Guilt is no
longer an option for me.
Forfurtherinformation:
Jacques de Villiers 082 906 3693
www.jacquesdevilliers.com
"What is helpful is
putting others first and
helping set them up for
success in whatever
meaningful way I can.
Guilt is no longer an
option for me".
All I would be doing is reminding them of
This is what stressed-out
South Africans are
willing to sacrifice to cut costs
By Staff Writer July 11, 2016
SouthAfrican consumers are under extreme
financial stress, with all income groups now
feeling the pinch of South Africa’s bleak
economic prospects, an Old Mutual study
has found.
According to an Old Mutual survey of 1,000
working households, one third of high
incomeearners(R40,000+amonth)arefeeling
high level of money-related stress, with a
fifth indicating they are overwhelmed.
Higher income groups have historically been
able to weather financially straining times,
however, rising inflation and worsening
economic conditions have led to a tipping
point where even the most financially sound
households are struggling to make provision
for any unexpected economic pitfalls in the
future.
The survey revealed that half of the
households covered would be able to find
money to cover R1,000 in unforeseen
expenses, while only a quarter could manage
R5,000, with the rest turning to debt accrual.
Alarmingly, however, one third of the
households said they could not even borrow
enough money to cover R10,000 in
unforeseen costs.
To get enough money, should they need it:
56% said they would borrow from family
30% said they would tap into savings
26% would miss payments, and pay when
they can
According to Old Mutual, irrespective of
household income, when it comes to cutting
back on spending, “luxury” purchases are
typically the first to go.
Across all income groups the company
found that holidays, eating out and
entertaining friends were the biggest
casualties when it came to making ends meet.
This is followed by non-essential purchases
such as alcohol, shoes, clothing and beauty
products.
Budget cuts also have an impact on jobs in
South Africa, with 61% of households
indicating that employing a domestic worker
would also be on the list of things to go.
The table below indicates the percentage of
households that are cutting back on the
listed expenses, across the various income
levels.
Expenses
Holiday and travel
Eating out /
Entertainment
Entertaining at
home
Alcohol
Shoes and clothing
Hair and beauty
Cigarettes
Domestic Worker /
Gardener
Food and Groceries
DSTV / M-Net
subscription
Payments to
children /
Dependents
Electricity / Water
Children's schooling
/ education
Less than
R6 000
95%
90%
93%
87%
88%
71%
72%
-
78%
66%
41%
37%
33%
R6 000 -
R13 999
94%
93%
91%
83%
76%
71%
66%
85%
64%
40%
37%
37%
27%
R14 000-
R19 999
96%
87%
85%
78%
80%
68%
63%
79%
56%
41%
36%
34%
24%
R20 000
R39 999
83%
83%
84%
77%
66%
59%
60%
58%
53%
32%
33%
33%
19%
Total
88%
86%
85%
78%
76%
65%
65%
61%
60%
38%
36%
34%
25%
R40 000
ormore
76%
71%
66%
57%
68%
49%
57%
43%
41%
16%
28%
27%
17%
For more information, please call
Willem Hussel-mann - 082 415 7725
Freddie Kapp - 017 735 4444
Ashraf Moola - 082 588 5515
As business owner, this will also give a good
reflection of what is happening in your
business. Maybe you will have to relook at
certain offerings, and if needed implement
some changes.
For more info, please contact the local
business chamber.
On behalf of the Volksrust
Seme Business chamber, any
complaints or compliments
can be emailed or faxed to the
Recorder.Any complaints
will be addressed by the
business chamber and any
compliments will be
published in the Recorder.